Luke's Absolution (The Colloway Brothers Book 3) (30 page)

“
I
t’s gorgeous here
, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I agree, but I’m not looking out at the shimmering greenish-blue ocean waters or the sun that’s setting behind it or the powder-fine sand beneath our bare feet.

I’m looking at her.

She looks angelic in the glowing light with her hair twisting in the light breeze. We’ve been in the Caribbean for the last three blissful days. Tonight is Asher and Alyse’s rehearsal dinner. Tomorrow they get married in front of their family and friends.

The past few weeks with Addy have been, dare I say, magical, and if all goes well, after tonight Addy and I will be the ones planning a wedding. I do have one more heavy weight I need to get off my shoulders before I can get down on one knee and ask the woman who has me completely tied in knots if she will do me the honor of becoming my wife.

It’s a conversation I should have had weeks ago. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to come clean. I haven’t because I’ve been afraid of losing her. The thought she may take this knowledge I’m about to give her and run scares the living shit out of me. Being without her for just those two weeks was agonizing. But being without her for life? Unfathomable.

However, if I’m going to ask her to tie herself to me for the rest of our days, I feel I owe it to her to make an informed decision. She needs to know exactly the type of man she’s marrying.

As we watch the last sliver of sun fall under the horizon, the sky turns a pink and purple hue. It’s beautiful, mesmerizing. Serene. A complete contrast to how I’m feeling inside.

I wrap my arms around her waist from behind. It will be easier to say what I have to if I’m not looking at her face. I embrace the shroud of darkness falling all around us and start. “I need to tell you something.”

Her fingers feather my forearms, her light touch setting my blood on fire.

“Sounds serious,” she teases.

“It is.”

My tone conveys my seriousness and she tries to turn, but I clamp my arms tight, holding her in place.

“Luke—”

“No. Stay like this.”

“Don’t say it,” she pleads. Her voice is shaky and unsure; her body now tense. “Whatever it is, I don’t want to know.”

“Addy, please. I have to say this.”

“No, you don’t. I don’t want to know.”

“You do.”

“Stop it. I’m happy. Don’t ruin things. Please.” Her broken begging almost undoes me, but I steel myself against changing course. I have to get this fucking weight off my chest and if I don’t do it now, I’m going to pussy out again.

“It’s about my past,” I continue undaunted.

“I don’t care about your past,” she tells me softly, trying to squirm away. I hold fast.

“Do you care if I killed someone?” I ask lowly. I didn’t intend to blurt it out like that, but I’m not exactly sure how you tell the person you’re in love with that you’re a killer. Not really a lot of good advice floating around on the Internet for that convo starter.

She freezes. My heart is pounding so hard there’s no way she can’t
not
feel it.

“Did you?”

“Yes,” I confess on a whisper.

“On purpose?”

“Yes.”

Silence.
Jesus
. I feel absolutely sick not knowing what’s running through her mind.

“Why?” she finally asks softly.

I almost sag in relief. I don’t hear judgment or condemnation in her voice and she has no way of knowing, but that’s the only possible way I could continue this conversation. Had I heard either of those, I know I would be leaving here alone.

“To save Livia.”

“What?” she breathes, drawing out the word in disbelief. I don’t blame her. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it most days still.

We stand on Grace Bay Beach on the island of Turks and Caicos, over fifteen hundred miles from home, lulled by the waves of the ocean while I tell Addy about the worst period Livia and I ever experienced in our lives. I talked to Livia about this yesterday, because I didn’t want to divulge her secret to Addy without her consent. She gladly gave it, knowing how important it was for me to share this part of my life with Addy. For that, I will be forever grateful.

After I finish, she turns in my arms and I let her. Wrapping her long limbs around my neck, she looks me in the eye and says tersely, “Is that it?”

I nod, confused by her reaction.

“Good.” Then she puts her lips to mine, kissing me with purpose. She’s clearly in control here and for once, I let her be, simply enjoying the fact she wants to put her mouth anywhere on me after what I just admitted. She scatters kisses along my jaw murmuring, “You’re an honorable man, Luke Colloway.”

I’m not really sure what I expected, but it wasn’t that. “How can you—?”

“Don’t,” she scolds, pulling away so our eyes connect. “Now it’s
your
turn to listen, so you’re not going to say another word until I’m done. Got it?”

I smirk at my woman, yet remain quiet, nodding instead. Always so full of fire and I fucking love it. God, I love
her
.

“You’re a selfless, giving man who’s made mistakes. You’ve also made unimaginable sacrifices for those you love at great expense to yourself. You try to make it seem like nothing affects you, like you don’t care how the world sees you, but I’m onto you Luke Colloway. You do care. You care more than you want to admit. You are not undeserving or tainted or damned or damaged or broken or any other adjective you want to use to protect yourself. You’re pure and selfless and loyal and imperfect and worthy. And mine,” she adds.

I try to respond; she puts a finger to my lips.

“I accept who you are, who you
were
. You saved my best friend. You gave her a life with her husband and children, so I don’t think less of you or judge you, Luke. The fact you are even giving this vile person a second thought only reaffirms I was right about the incredible man you are. I love you, every perfect and imperfect part of you, but I want us to leave the past where it belongs. Let this last shackle go, Luke. Please. For me.”

She stops talking. I’m not sure if she’s done yet, so I say nothing.

“And the proper response to that is, ‘yes, Addy,’” she quips, smiling.

“Yes, Addy?” I laugh, tugging her closer.

“Or maybe, ‘God, how did I ever get lucky enough to fall in love with such a wise and wonderful woman?’ I’d take either of those, or something else along the same lines would also suffice.”

“I think the better response would be: How did I get lucky enough to have such a wise and wonderful woman fall in love with me?”

Even in the dark, I see her face radiate with pure happiness. “I think I fell in love with your sexy stubborn ass the minute you asked me how my day was when you barged your way into my apartment and my life.”

I grin smugly. “I thought you wanted me to move out.”

“I lied,” she shrugs nonchalantly. Oh, my lovely Addy. So hard to pull the truth out of her sometimes. Every day it gets easier. I know she’ll always be a challenge. I also know I’ll happily rise to it because everything about her makes me a better man.

An overwhelming need strikes me down. I don’t want to wait a second longer for my future to begin. With Asher’s blessing, I’d planned to get down in front of our entire family tonight, only this feels like the right moment instead. I nuzzle her ear. “I want to marry you.”

She goes rigid. “Do you now?”

“Have you been practicing like I asked?” Her breath catches when I suck the delicate skin right below her ear. I can get her to agree to anything when I nibble on this exact spot.

“Yes.”

“See? That’s not so hard now, is it?”

“No.” She’s breathless. I feel how fast her heart is pounding against my chest as if she knows exactly what’s coming next.

“Good.” Dropping to one knee, I hear her suck in a sharp breath, her tiny hands flying to cover her mouth. I pull out the small box that’s been burning a hole in my pants pocket for the last two hours.

“Oh my God,” she mumbles. Her watery gaze flits to it briefly but lands back on mine.

Jesus, I’m nervous. I’ve been planning in my head for weeks what I’m going to say to her, but it all just evaporated the moment my knee touched the sand, so I speak from the heart instead.

“Marry me, Addy Catherine Monroe. You saved me. You fix all the broken inside me. You fill me with color and light and fire and hope and more love than I ever thought possible. You’ve seen the darkest parts of me and love them anyway. Without you, I’ll never be even half the man I could be. I never used to think about the future until I met you. Now, I can think of nothing else but making you forever mine. Marry me, Addy. Have babies with me. Grow old with me. Be mine? Permanently?”

The moonlight reflects off her tears, making her eyes look as deep and fathomless and mysterious right now as the ocean behind us. She is all of those things and so much more. There’s so much to love about her.

“This is where you say yes, fireball,” I prod at her silence.

Her head nods, causing her overflowing tears to spill and run down her cheeks.

“The words, babe. Just like you practiced.”

“Yes,” she croaks. “Yes, yes, yes.”

Smiling, I open the velvet box and pull out the ring I had designed for her. It’s a one-of-a-kind, just like she is. I slip it on her finger and stand. Cupping her face, I kiss her trembling lips until we’re both breathless. I want nothing more than to return to our room and fuck her blind for the rest of our vacation, but we’re probably already late to the rehearsal.

“You’re mine now. Forever,” I whisper against her lips.

“Yes.”

“I like hearing that word roll off your tongue. You need to say it more often.”

“Don’t get used to it,” she laughs between pecks.

My own laugh echoes in the dark. “Wouldn’t dream of it, fireball.”

After one last passionate kiss, I grab her hand and lead her back to my family, hoping like hell they aren’t waiting on us. “Come on, let’s tell everyone the good news. My mom’s going to wig.”

“So is my dad,” she beams, skipping along in the sand. Her dad won’t wig, he already knows, but I don’t want to spoil her surprise. She holds out her left hand admiring the new sparkler that will rest on her ring finger forever. “I still can’t believe your mom invited him.”

“Yeah. ‘Just friends’ my ass.”

“I know, right? They seem happy, though.”

She’s right. They do. There’s a melancholy about my mom that’s vanished. Regardless of what’s really going on between her and Bob Monroe, I’m happy for her. She deserves to have someone care for her outside of her children, even if it is just a
really good friend
. “That they do.”

“I’m going to dance with you all night long,” I say a few moments later. I missed out on my chance to sway with her in my arms at Gray’s wedding. I won’t make that mistake again.

“I thought you didn’t dance,” she quips back.

“Fireball, I dance very fucking well when it suits my purpose.” She stops walking and I swing her around in my arms.

“What if I want you to make love to me all night instead?”

I palm her head, kissing her long and deep, my cock jumping up and down at that idea. “I think that can be arranged.”

“Good,” she whispers saucily before tugging me along once again.

As we make our way back to the resort, Addy babbles the whole time while I just listen, absorbing her enthusiasm. I fully realize that I’m the luckiest son-of-a-bitch on the planet right now. I’m positive there is no one happier at this very minute than I am.

I now have everything I never dreamed I would.

A woman who loves me unconditionally.

A soul that’s finally at rest.

And a family I will never leave or doubt again.

I fucking have it all.

Now
everything in my world is perfect.

M
y musical inspiration
for writing
Luke’s Absolution
:

“
N
ot Broken Anymore
” by Blue October

“Black Widow” by Iggy Azalea

“Send the Pain Below” by Chevelle

“Goodbye Agony” by Black Veil Brides

“Wrong Side of Heaven” by Five Finger Death Punch

“Not Coming Home” by Arson City

“Break Me Down” by Red

“Angel” by Theory of a Deadman

“Bleed Out” by Blue October

“Drown” by Bring Me The Horizon

“Whatever It Takes” by Lifehouse

“My Demons” by Starset

“Fight Inside” by Red

“I’ll Follow You” by Shinedown

“Cold” by Crossfade

“Falling In” by Lifehouse

“The Ever” by Red

“Secrets” by One Republic

“Face Everything and Rise” by Papa Roach

“Of These Chains” by Red

B
abbles
…

I
absolutely LOVED writing
this book and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did getting these two souls on paper. Luke and Addy have probably been my favorite and easiest couple to write so far. Each word just flowed effortlessly and I could have made this book so much longer than I did!

I
know
Luke has been a fan favorite, and his story was supposed to be the last and the hardest, but that honor goes to Connelly, and I can’t wait for you to really get to know him. Connelly’s complex and tortured and he’ll have to dig deep for his happily ever after. His and Nora's story is gut-wrenching to read (and to write), which is why he had to wait until last.

I
love these brothers
, I love this series, and no matter how many books I write, these characters will always hold a special place in my heart.

N
ow on to
my thanks and gratitude. Friends, family, bloggers, authors, betas, editors, formatters, proofreaders, pimpers, and most importantly MY READERS: if you had a hand in this, if you supported me in any way, shape, or form, you know who you are and you know I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am nothing but sincerely, eternally grateful for your belief in me.

F
inally
, after forty some years, I have found my true passion in life. I may never be a best seller, I may never win writing awards, I may never be able to make a true living at doing what I love, but I don’t even care. Every message and each email I get from someone who wanted to personally reach out to me and praise me for how my work touched them in some way is
truly
a surreal feeling and
that’s
why I do this. Because you all encourage me. For that, I thank you.

E
ven though I
know they will never read this, I can’t thank my favorite band, Red, enough for their musical inspiration to write this entire Colloway Brothers series. I always find inspiration in music regardless of my writing, but it’s really incredible that each of their songs spoke to me exactly as if these characters did. If you haven’t heard of them, you should check them out or at least listen to one or two of the songs I’ve written this book to. “The Ever” is one of my favorites and describes how Luke feels to a “T”.

T
hanks for taking
this journey with me, for buying my book, and for supporting an author you love. Whether that’s me or not, your support of your favorite authors cannot be overstated.

I
f you like this book
,
please
tell your friends, your neighbors, shout it from the rooftops. Hell, tell people you don’t even like! The best thing you can do to support an author you love is word of mouth and LEAVE A REVIEW on Goodreads, Amazon, or wherever. Even one or two sentences or simply rating the book is helpful for other readers. Reviews are critical to getting a book exposure.