Luke's Absolution (The Colloway Brothers Book 3) (29 page)

W
hen I wake
, I’m momentarily confused as to where I am and what time it is. I’m so fucking tired, I have to fight from slipping under again. A look at the digital clock with its blue lights shows it’s 11:32 and dark outside, so it must be night. I blink my eyes open to see I’m in my childhood room and the evening’s events come rushing back to me.

Addy.

She’s here, but she’s not, because her side of the mattress is empty and cold. I panic, wondering if she changed her mind. Flying out of bed, I throw on my jeans and bound down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I’m getting ready to rip open the front door to see if her car is gone when I hear low voices in the kitchen and then I hear
her
. Laughing.

Fuck
.
She’s still here. She didn’t leave me
. I’m so relieved that I sag against the cool wood and wipe off the cold sweat now dotting my forehead and upper lip. My eyes drop to the floor and I snicker. Her torn panties are lying in the open for anyone to see. I snatch them up, stuffing them in my pocket and take a minute to gather my wits, calming my heart rate before I walk into the kitchen.

When I see her standing at the island, talking to my mother and
her dad
, I am struck breathless anew.

Jesus, I love her. I never knew it was possible to love another person so much. I want to beg her to marry me, but I can’t. I don’t have a ring yet and I realize I haven’t asked her father or Eric, all of which I plan to remedy in short order.

“You’re up,” Addy says with surprise when she sees me quietly standing there watching her. Her smile is bright and brilliant, although it drops when her eyes fall to my chest and she sees my new ink. We were all over and in each other for hours earlier, but I have blackout blinds in my room. We didn’t explore each other in the light, so she hasn’t seen my new tribute to her. Well, one of two. In addition to this new tat, I had Eric quickly ink my new war cry underneath the old one so I would remember that every day I lived without my Addy was one too many.

I’ve told her repeatedly how she’s changed my world. This was the only way I could think to really show her I’m sincere; she knows how personal my ink is to me.

She walks over to where I’m standing and runs a trembling finger over the fireball I had Eric draw around my heart tattoo. Now my broken heart is engulfed in colorful red, yellow, and orange flames and my chains are nearly covered. Except for one row, which I purposely left showing.

Her eyes finally lift to mine as she traces the remaining links. Tears spill down her cheeks. “You have one left.” Her voice is soft, shaky. Almost inaudible.

“Because I’m chained to
you
, fireball. You’ve melted the rest, but this one remains for you.
Only you
.”

“And you have color,” she says in wonder.

I cup her cheeks, uncaring that our parents are watching. “Because of you.
You
are
my color. I love you, Addy.” Then I kiss her, lift her in my arms, and turn to carry her out of the room, back up to my bed where she belongs.

I need sleep. These last two weeks without her have been utter hell. I can’t sleep without her by my side anymore. I don’t care that I’m being rude or a Neanderthal, but I do call over my shoulder, “You can explain to me later what you’re doing with Bob Monroe at eleven-thirty at night, Mother. I’m taking my woman to bed now.”

Addy tries to fight me, screeching at me to put her down and Bob’s laughter follows me all the way upstairs.

Everything is now right in my world. Just about perfect, in fact.

Just about.

“
I
’m
sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you,” I mumble.

“She was a good woman.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you for coming,” I reply, trying to vary my lame responses.

I feel like a fake standing here, greeting people as if I actually knew my mother. Obviously,
they
did. More people turned out than I expected and what does that say about me for thinking that horrible thought? There was so much I didn’t know about her and will never get the chance to. There’s so much she didn’t know about me, too, and that’s something I will have to live with. Including the fact she didn’t get to meet Luke before she died, just two days after my visit.

Usually, the after-funeral reception would be held at some sort of church, but my mother wasn’t religious. We didn’t pray or read the bible or go to mass on Sundays. The only thing she ever worshipped was the man she was currently with and the drink.

So here Sam, Eric, and I stand in my small childhood home, in a nice little line, greeting people as they come in the door like some damn wedding reception or graduation party. And while I want to pay respects to my mother, anywhere near my sister is the very last place I want to be. Eric feels the same way, but we’re doing this for Mom because it’s what she would have wanted. And it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes doing the right thing is really, really fucking hard, though. Today has been an excruciating example.

Sam and I weren’t close before. Now, the tension is so thick and toxic between us that I’m feeling claustrophobic and having a hard time catching my breath the longer I stand beside her.

I mumble to my siblings I need a minute and head into the guest bathroom, shutting myself inside. Loud voices immediately muffle and I can take a full breath for the first time in an hour without inhaling anger and resentment.

After what Sam did to the Colloway family and her own daughter, she should be appalled. She wasn’t. She was unapologetic, saying it was the right thing to do for Landyn’s future. I wholeheartedly disagree, as does Landyn, who hasn’t spoken to her mother in over a week. They already had a strained relationship but I think this is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Well…more like a giant evergreen that was uprooted during a tornado, destroying the house it fell on.

A soft knock on the door startles me and I yell, “Occupied.” I’m not ready to rejoin the fray. In fact, I might stay in here for the next couple of hours until everyone leaves.

“Open up, fireball,” a deep, rumbly voice rings from the other side. I immediately yank the door open and am engulfed in Luke’s arms. “You okay, baby?”

“No,” I mumble into his chest. “But I’m better now.”

He steps in, shutting us back in our cocoon and holds me close.

“Thank you for being here.” It’s almost as hard for him to be here as it is for me. In fact, the entire Colloway clan, including the matriarch, is outside of this four by six room in a show of solidarity for me and for Landyn. When they all started showing up, I cried.

“Where else would I be?”

“I know it’s hard for you to be around her. I’m sorry.”

“This is about you, baby. Not me. And you have no reason to be sorry. Your sister made her own decisions. You had nothing to do with it.”

We’ve talked about this numerous times over the past week since we reconciled. We drove home early on Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day naked in bed, surprisingly mostly talking. I ran through the full gamut of emotions that day, completely wrung out by the time we fell asleep.

Elation and relief we were back together.

Disbelief and anger my sister could do such a horrible, callous thing.

Sadness for Landyn because she was deprived of a fatherly relationship.

Heartbreak and devastation at the fact Luke never had a chance to make amends with his father. It made me all the more thankful I was able to do so with my mom before her last breath.

“I’m just still so angry with her.”

“Understandable.”

“Landyn wants to move to Chicago. She needs some space from Sam for a while.”

“Then we’ll help her. Whatever she needs. She’s family.”

I smile into his chest. “Thank you, Luke.”

“No thanks necessary, fireball,” he replies, squeezing tight.

I sigh, sinking into him further. His strokes on my hair are hypnotic. I’d give anything right now to just sit on the floor in here and talk to him for hours. As if reading my mind, he slides his back down the door and settles me comfortably between his legs, my back to his front.

I lean my head against his shoulder and breathe an audible sigh of relief, entwining our hands together. The space is small and with Luke’s big frame, he has to bend one leg up so as not to hit the toilet, but I don’t care. Right now all I care about is this much-needed break from sadness with the only person who has ever made me feel whole. With each minute that passes, I feel more relaxed.

“What’s going on between our parents?” I ask. My dad is here, supporting his children even though he and my mom have been divorced for over two decades. It hasn’t escaped my notice that he and Barb have been kind of joined at the hip. The two of them have worked in tandem today to be sure food and drinks are filled and the garbage is picked up.

He chuckles, the vibration echoing through my body. “I can’t get a word out of my mom, other than she says they’re just friends. But I think that’s a load of bullshit. There’s no doubt they were on a date last Saturday night.”

“I think so, too. And he came to Chicago with your mom.”

“I know.”

“My dad denies they’re anything but friends, too.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at her.” I hear the smile in his voice.

“And I’ve seen the way she looks at him.” I laugh.

“Huh.”

“Yeah.
Huh
. Kind of a weird twist of events, isn’t it?”

“I was thinking the exact same thing,” he says with wonder. “I think my dad would have liked your dad, Addy.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

“You want to get back, sweetheart?” he asks, kissing the crown of my head.

I huff a laugh. “Do I
want
to? No. But I guess I probably should.” Neither of us makes a move. I take a deep breath, readying myself. There are things I want to tell Luke that I haven’t yet.

“You’ve given me things no one else has,” I say softly.

He’s quiet for a few seconds before responding saucily. “Which things, baby? A stuffed toy? A pair of stupidly expensive shoes? A dozen orgasms a day?”

I chuckle lightly. “No. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of those, especially the orgasms, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

He tightens his hold from behind. Kissing my temple, he encourages, “Tell me.”

“You make me feel cherished. Special. Like I’m the most important person in the world to you.”

“That’s because you are, Addy,” he whispers in my ear. Chills race down my arm at the feel of his breath on my skin.

“No one has ever done that.”

“No one?”

“Just you,” I whisper.

“Well then, we have a lot of firsts together, don’t we?”

I nod, trying to hold in my sobs.

Hooking a finger under my chin, he tilts my face up to kiss me softly. “You’ll always be first to me, Addy. Always. Don’t cry, baby.” He wipes away a stray tear, a happy one this time. “Just a couple more hours. Then I’m going to take you home and make love to you all night long.”

“All night?”

“Hell yeah.” He smiles, his eyes bright with love. Every time he looks at me like that I have to pinch myself that he’s real.

“Can we pick something from the list?” I ask sheepishly. Luke’s pretty damn creative, I’ll give him that. Some of the things he’s thought up for us to try make me blush just thinking about them.

A wicked grin curls his sexy mouth. “We can do whatever you want, fireball.”

“Whatever?”

“It’s your world, babe. I’m just living in it now.”

“That you are,” I tease. “And you’re okay with that?”

The devotion shining in Luke’s eyes would buckle my knees if I were standing. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, Addy. Thank you for giving me a chance. For coming back to me.”

“Thank you for waiting for me.”

“You’re worth waiting for.” He steals my breath every time he says sweet words like that. He closes the scant distance between us, touching his lips to mine. His kiss is long and sweet and at our angle, it’s a little awkward, but I couldn’t care less.

“I love you, Luke,” I mumble against his wet lips.

“I love you, too, fireball. Now come on.” He stands, pulling me off the floor. “The sooner we get back out there, the sooner we can get home and start checking off the boxes. I’m thinking maybe we try number thirteen tonight.”

I think for a minute, trying to recall what that one was. When it hits me, my eyes snap to his. I feel the blush crawl up my neck to my face. “You mean the one with the…”

“That’s the one,” he winks, a wolfish smile eating up his handsome face.

“Wow. Okay,” I breathe, anticipation now making my nipples and core tingle.

Clasping our hands together, he walks me back to the front of the house until we’re standing next to Eric, who is talking to Mrs. Kravitz, my elderly neighbor who had the bulldog I was in love with. She’s ninety-one and still going strong. Sam stands on the other side looking extremely uncomfortable, particularly with Luke close by.

Good.

I expect Luke to leave, going back to be with his family. Instead, he stays planted beside me, my hand still in his. When I look up questioningly, he tells me, “I’ll be by your side, okay?”

This is the last place I want to be, but as long as Luke is with me I know I’ll be able to get through absolutely anything life throws at me.

“Always?”

Smiling softly, he cups my cheek. “Always, Addy. Always.”