Authors: Mahaughani Fiyah
He really did love me.
And I was going to hurt him.
Inside my head my Florida Evans voice spoke, “Damn! Daamnn!
Daaaammmmn
!”
A little more than a week later I woke feeling healthy and well rested. For the life of me I couldn’t remember the days that had gone by or what had taken place during them. I just knew that a considerable amount of time had passed. I looked around the room and was a little surprised to find myself in a strange place, and it took me a minute to remember where I was, who got me there, and who was there with me.
“Asanti?” I called out as I threw my feet over the edge of the bed. Slowly, cautiously, I stood. I was pleasantly surprised to find that nausea and vomiting weren’t hanging out waiting on me at that moment as they had been every day the weeks prior. “Asanti?” I called out again, but got no answer.
Deciding to take a walk through the house, I looked all around and realized that my husband was not there. I was alone in the house that my husband, the first one, got for me. A house that I was sharing with my husband, the second one.
The thoughts came rushing back to me. The memory of how I got into that situation. Why I got into that situation. Why I wasn’t yet out of that situation. I felt the nausea creeping up on me again. I needed to calm down, control my thoughts and fears. Get my act together.
It was then that I decided to hit the shower. Maybe I could wash some of the worries and stress away.
As the steaming hot water poured down my body I sighed loudly and deeply. It felt so good on my skin. For the life of me I couldn’t remember the last time I had bathed or showered and I relished in the moment as I stuck my head under the spray and allowed myself to be soaked in the blissful heat.
My shoulders relaxed. My muscles relaxed. My mind relaxed. The hot water was washing away my sins. I sighed as I began to feel better, feel centered, feel grounded.
Then I felt
his
hands on me and instantly my core was wet.
“I missed you so much,” he whispered in my ear before he began to suck, nibble, bite on my neck. “I missed this so much,” he told me as he used his hand to reach around the front of my body and cup my silky core. My head fell back onto his chest, involuntarily my legs spread, and I moaned like a virgin when I felt his finger slip inside of me.
My entire body became weak as my muscles turned to liquid.
“Ooohhhhh,” I moaned when he slipped yet another finger inside.
“That’s right, baby,” he whispered in my ear as he moved his fingers in and out of me. “Relax and let go.”
My entire body shook from the pleasure he was exposing me to. My breathing hitched and soon I was panting like an animal. Then he grabbed me, picked me up and spun me to face him. Tears sprang to my eyes when he unzipped his now soaked pants to free his manhood and slowly, tortuously, filled me with the best part of him.
Instantly I went into Asanti mode.
I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he held me under the sizzling water, and still the hot water felt cool on my blazing skin. He lowered his head to my breasts and began a tender suckle that made my toes curl. I rocked my hips and held my head back as the water pounded my face and neck.
And Asanti moved slowly, tantalizingly slow as he filled me repeatedly.
Over and over.
Time and time again.
“Look at me Legaci,” he whispered roughly.
But I was lost in the feelings, the sensations, in Asanti.
“Look at me,” he said again, firmly.
Slowly I lifted my head until I was eye to eye with him. He was beautiful. Sexy. Sinful. Sizzling.
He thrust.
I bust.
Hard and good.
He chuckled sexily.
Then he suddenly gripped my hair, wrapped it around his hand once and yanked until my head was back enough that he was the only thing in my sights. He stared at me hard as he continued thrusting, pummeling, plowing, plunging.
All breath left me. My toes curled. I cried out in ecstasy.
“Don’t you ever leave me again,” he said harshly, roughly. He thrust again, firmly, owning me. “Don’t you ever disappear and make me worry about you again.” He slammed into me, filled me so deeply the tears came from nowhere. My body surrendered to him. I couldn’t say a word. “Do you understand?” He never removed his eyes from mine, never ceasing the sensual assault.
He thrust again.
Filled me.
I creamed.
“Answer me damnit!” He demanded. “Answer me now!”
Faster he plunged. Deeper he plunged. Harder he plunged. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. Lost all sense of time and direction.
He plunged again.
Filling my mind and body with nothing but him.
I held on for dear life. My body began to shake. Asanti was too much for me. Too overwhelming. Too overpowering. Too overbearing. I was losing it, slipping into erotic bliss. I cried louder, harder. He thrust deeper, filled me completely.
“Answer me, Legaci!”
“Yeeeesssssssss!” I screamed as I came so hard I felt my bones slamming against one another. “God yes.. ye… y… eesssss!” I screamed again, stammered, stuttered.
“You’re my wife. My
wife
.
My
wife!” he practically chanted with each thrust as he pounded himself into me.
Silence.
Then his body seized up, jerked, and he filled me with the essence of him. All the while he never took his eyes off of mine, and he repeated one single word.
“Mine.”
I don’t remember going to sleep. I just remember waking up in bed and seeing that it was dark outside. Really dark. I shook my head and ran my hands through my hair, which was still damp, as I tried to figure out where the day went. Then I sat up in bed quickly as I remembered I hadn’t called my kids or talked to anyone in my household in days.
I knew they were worried sick so I reached for my phone, my personal phone, and dialed my home number.
Ashton answered on the first ring.
“You’re okay I see,” he said almost silently.
No hello, no how are you. Straight to the angry point.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call I was—” He cut me off like a road rage driver.
“It’s fine. It’s expected of such a busy woman.” His voice dripped with angry sarcasm.
I ignored it. Tried to make amends.
“I’m really sorry. I just…” I stopped talking and just held the phone.
I knew my apologies were falling on deaf ears, and rightfully so. I had been gone for a week and hadn’t said so much as hello to my husband or my kids. I was one person trying to live two lives and everything around me, in both lives, was falling apart. No way could I fault him for being angry when I was doing everything I could to make, and keep, him angry.
My husband, the first one, was slowly pulling away from me. Or was I pulling away from him? Pushing him away from me? I didn’t know, wasn’t sure. In fact the only thing I was sure of was that I needed to quickly get out of the situation I was in and put the crumbling pieces of my family back together.
I let out a really deep sigh.
“How are the kids?”
“They’re fine. Missing their mother. In bed now, which is where I need to be. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
And with those words he hung up in my face. No goodbye. No I miss you. No I love you. Just a firm click of the line and we were disconnected in more ways than just by the phone. I choked back a sob, did all I could to keep the tears at bay.
That was when Asanti spoke.
“Who was that?”
Oh my goodness
!
The sound of his deep voice filling the darkness scared the hell out of me. I thought I was alone in the room. Alone when I called my husband, the first one. But when my eyes focused, when I was no longer blinded by the darkness, I realized that my husband, the other one, was sitting in the chair beside the bed watching me. Not even three feet away from me.
And he had heard my entire phone conversation.
Both my end and Ashton’s.
How the hell was I going to explain
that
?
“That was my boss,” that lie came from out of the blue.
“Why would you be calling your boss this time of night?” The coldness in his voice shook me and chilled me down to the bone.
“First, because I have no idea what time it is. I just woke up and realized that I needed to call. Second, because I haven’t called him in a week. I’ve either been asleep or too doped up to do any work or even call in to work and let everyone know that I’m alive and okay.”
My breathing hitched and my nerves started to fry as I hoped beyond hope that Asanti would believe me when I wasn’t sure if I would believe me under the same circumstances.
“And asking about his kids?” I could hear the anger in his voice. The barely controlled anger that was hidden just below the surface, waiting to be unleashed. “That sounded personal, Legaci. Very personal.”
“It
was
personal, Asanti,” I said as I tried to summon up anger and indignation at his display of distrust. But truthfully I was scared to death. And fully in agreement with him not trusting me since I was lying to everyone including myself. Still I went on with my lies. “Their mother, my boss’ wife, recently passed away and the kids are going through a very trying time right now. I’m, we’re all, concerned about that family,” I quickly corrected to make it seem like everyone at the job was concerned, not just me. I was trying to depersonalize a very personal situation.
Please believe me, please believe me, please believe me
, I chanted in my mind. But Asanti was silent. So silent that I began to tremble. I just knew he was on to me. Knew he was going to kill me. But I didn’t want to die yet. Not yet. I still had my whole life to live. A life that was driving me crazy because I was trying to make two lives out of the one I was given. I needed to stop the madness. Asanti had to go.
“Baby, I’ve known that man, his wife and their kids for years. It was just concern. That’s all.” At least I told a partial truth there.
He said nothing.
For a long time.
Then, “I’m very jealous, Legaci. I’m possessive and territorial and I don’t want
my
wife getting too close to another man.”
“Asanti, it’s just my boss,” I told him as my lungs practically collapsed at his words. Jealous. Possessive. Territorial. What the hell? What would he do if he found out about my family? How would he handle knowing that not only am I married with children, but that
he
is the other man? Would he harm them? Would he harm me? Was he really as dangerous he sounded at that moment? “Just my boss,” I reiterated.
“I’m sure that’s all it is, sweetheart” he said calmly, so calmly that I had never been more terrified in my life. “Just make sure he remains your boss.
Only
.”
He sounded treacherous in that darkness. Was scaring the hell out of me in that darkness. What had I gotten myself into? Was he a psycho on the slick?
“Why? Are you going to kill any man that has a passing interest in me?” I said jokingly.
But I was serious.
The hand that gripped my knee and squeezed was like steel. I could feel the intensity flowing through him from just that touch. “Of course I’d kill them, my darling. You’re mine,” he said so matter of factly that I strained my eyes to see his face through the blinding black.
No, he wasn’t a psycho on the slick.
He was a psycho outright, in the open, in my face!
“Huh?” I was stunned. Could think of nothing coherent to say. “What?”
“Relax, my love,” he began like a loving grandfather trying to calm his overwrought grandchild. “As long as you know you’re mine, completely mine, everything is fine. And as long as no one tries to impede upon what’s mine everything’ll be okay,” he said with a sexy, sinister chuckle.
The deep intoxicating voice coming out of the darkness was frightening. The fact that he could sit so quietly less than three feet away from me, listen in on my phone call and me not even know he was there was terrifying. The fact that he loved me so deeply and possessively was staggering. The fact that he insinuated he would kill over me was frightening and alarming.
And melted my heart just as it almost stopped it from beating.
“You do know you’re mine, right Legaci?”
What the hell?
“Umm… Of course I know I’m yours, Asanti.”
“Then why did you stutter?” His voice took on a dangerous edge.
“I didn’t stutter. I answered your question.” This dude was scaring the hell out of me.
“You said ‘umm’ before you answered my question. That was a stutter.” I chuckled a little at the absurdity of his answer. “Am I amusing you?”
His voice deepened, became lethal, took on a dangerous edge.