Lying Lips (17 page)

I chuckled again, a scared, nervous giggle.

“No, Asanti. You’re not amusing me. It’s just that—“

Before I could complete my sentence my husband, the one I married illegally, moved fast as the speed of sound. The next thing I knew he was in bed with me and on top of me. I could feel the hardness of his manhood pressing into me, the anger of it, the danger of it. Silently he took complete control before I could register what was happening.

With no words Asanti tore my night gown to shreds in his effort to remove it from me. It left me naked and exposed to him, my skin was instantly ablaze. He quickly placed one hand around my neck and began to apply pressure as he looked into my eyes through the darkness. Dared me to ever defy him.

He squeezed my neck just a little more as he practically growled at me. I wiggled and writhed as I tried to free myself, but each time I tried to move he applied a little more pressure to my neck. Just a little. Not enough to hurt me but enough to let me know that he could if he really wanted to. Enough to turn me on like crazy. A wildfire broke out all in and through me.

Then he licked his lips.

I was scared out of my mind. I was hotter than catfish grease. My heart raced and pounded, my lungs would not allow me to take in air.  I began to tremble like crazy. I tried to use my mouth to speak, to tell him to cut it out, but I was too afraid to say a word. He used his mouth to devour my breasts. Licked. Sucked. Gently bit. My back arched involuntarily. A moan escaped my lips. I was in heat like an animal.

Was I losing my mind?

I tried to use my legs to get myself into a sitting position, to turn over, maybe get out of bed, get away from the madness that seemed to be taking over. He used his legs to keep mine still, to spread mine wide, to make my core easily accessible to him. All the while he kept looking at me, glaring at me, the anger all over his face. And still he was spreading my legs until he had them as wide as they would go. My love chamber was instantly soaked.

Did I need psychiatric treatment?

I used my hands to push him away, to show him that I was still in some kind of control, but he was too big, too strong. He used his free hand to unzip his slacks, to retrieve his beautiful manhood, to slip between my thighs, to caress my mound, to massage my jewel. I screamed out in ecstasy, dug my nails into his chest, the same chest that I had been pushing on seconds ago. My back arched even higher. I creamed instantly.

Went into Asanti mode.

He slipped inside of me. All the way inside. So easily. So hard. So complete. In that moment I knew he could own me if he wanted to. Could take over everything and I would be helpless to stop him. I genuinely loved this man. I creamed again. Spasms rocked me to the core. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. Bucked my hips against him as fast as I could. Gave myself to him. All of me.

He used his hips to piston at lightning speed. Dared me to close my eyes without saying a word. The room began to spin. I was losing touch with reality. I reached out for anything to anchor me, to stabilize me. Instead I fell deeper into Asanti, got lost in him, became hypnotized by him.

“You. Are. Mine,” he said with each thrust. “You. Are. Mine.”

I creamed again.

Called out his name.

“Tell me you’re mine!” He demanded. I spoke those words with all of my heart. That wasn’t enough for him. Nowhere near enough. “Say it again,” he commanded me as he thrust deeper, harder, the headboard banging the wall.

I opened my mouth to speak those words and an orgasm so fiery blazed through me that all I could do was scream incoherently.

“That’s it, give it all to Daddy,” he said as he worked me into a sexual frenzy. “I control this body. You’re mine.” My legs began to shake, my core tightened, my eyes began to roll into the back of my head. “You’re mine, Legaci,” he said smoothly, angrily as I creamed once more. I was beginning to lose consciousness.

Then my body took on a life of its own. Something deep in me began to tighten, coil, clench, clutch. Asanti thrust, plowed through me, ravished me. Every part of my body was responding to his sensual assault, every part of my mind was completely on him. I was in some kind of carnal trance. He thrust repeatedly, marked my body as his own. My breathing hitched, he stared into my eyes.

“Tell me you’re mine. Now!” He raged. My core tightened quickly, painfully. I ripped the sheets as my body began to buck. My vision blurred, then went black. He held my hips tightly, thrust repeatedly, showed me no mercy. “NOW!” He demanded.

“I’m yours!” I screamed with all of my might, seconds before releasing an orgasm so intense my muscles stiffened, ached, burned.

With one final thrust Asanti erupted inside of me. His body shook, trembled. I could feel the rage flowing smoothly out of him as he filled me with his seed, as he made it known that I belonged to him. And all I could hear before I blacked out was my husband, the second one, saying, “You’re damned right!”

Chapter 15

The next morning I woke up feeling well satiated and stupid as hell. How could I give in to him when he was so obviously in a violent mood? How could I allow him to think it was okay to scare the hell out of me and then make love to me? I was seriously losing all of the mind I had and needed help quickly. I needed counseling. I needed a psychiatrist. I needed church.

Church.

Somewhere I had faithfully gone all of my life but hadn’t been since Asanti came into my life. Something I hadn’t thought of since Asanti came into my life. With no other thought in my crazy head I jumped out of bed and raced to the shower. I needed to get to church. Less than ten minutes later I was in my bedroom going through the closet looking for something to wear when Asanti snuck up behind me.

“Where are you going?” His voice was so sinister I thought he was going to take me out.

“I… I’m going to church,” I stuttered.

“Church?” He questioned quizzically. “I had no idea you were a church person.”

“I was. Am.” I struggled with the words to say to him. “I am a church person, but things have been so busy lately that I haven’t had time for it. I’m making time today.”

“We’re making time for it,” he stated calmly, boldly.

“We?” It was all I could say as confusion clouded my brain.

“Yes, we. I’m going with you.”

My heart sank. Dropped into my feet and oozed out of my big toe. I wanted to go to church alone. To have a little talk with Jesus alone. To get my mind right. Alone.

“I’d rather do this alone, Asanti,” I braved.

He squinted his eyes at me. Cocked his head to the side as if considering. “Why?”

Damn. Can’t I do anything alone, without an escort or an explanation?

“It’s personal.”

That pissed him off.

“You’re my wife. We’re one, Legaci. Nothing with us is personal anymore,” he said as he stepped to me and stared at me so hard I began to shake. “What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing is bothering me, I just need to go to church. I’ve been away too long.”

“Then I’m going with you,” he said as he placed a finger under my chin and lifted my face.

Then he kissed me. Deeply. And left me weak in the knees.

Now I had a serious problem. If I refused to go to church he would know something was up. But how could I bring him to the church that I attended with my husband, the real one, and my kids? The members would see me there and wonder what the deal was. And how would I explain who Asanti was to those who know me as Mrs. Bentencourt?

If I took him to another church that I didn’t belong to where no one knew me and where I knew no one, I’d be safe from worrying about being spotted with Asanti, but he’d quickly realize that wasn’t my home church and then I’d have to explain why I didn’t bring him to the church where I was a member. How was I going to handle this one?

That’s when his phone rang.

“Speak,” he said into the device. Then, “Good morning, Senator. How are you today?”

He held up a finger and walked away from me. I continued getting dressed as he talked and by the time I was done Asanti was entering the bedroom.

“I’m afraid I can’t go with you this morning. Virginia Senator Cromwell is in town and wants to meet with me to discuss catering an affair he’s having here.”

“Oh,” was what came out of my mouth, but in my head I was so happy that I was dancing like I was a video ho. “I’m sorry you can’t go with me.”

“I am too. But I’ll be even sorrier if you don’t come with me to the meeting.”

Damn!

What the hell?

And son of a
bitch
!

“Huh?” That was the only intelligent thing I could manage to say. But in my head the record had scratched, the party was over, and the video ho had fallen flat on her face.

“I’d like you to come with me to the meeting, meet the Senator, allow me to show off my beautiful wife.”

Whhhyyyy Lawd
!
Whyyyyy!

“Baby, as much as I want to go with you I really need to get to church. It’s important to me, Asanti.”

He lifted my face to meet his again and just stared at me. Searched my eyes as if looking for whatever it was I wasn’t telling him. I prayed with all my heart that he didn’t find it. Because if he did my funeral would be taking place in less than seven days and I wasn’t ready to die yet.

“I need you with me.” I could immediately see where this was going and I wanted no part of it. He needed me with him and I needed him to leave me alone for a second. He kept staring at me and I gave in. And when he saw that I gave in, Asanti relaxed and smiled. “Okay, see you after you get back from church.”

Huh?

What the hell
?

“What do you mean you’ll see me after I get back from church?” I asked as I put my hands on my hips and raised my voice just slightly. This dude was driving me even more nuts than I already was.

“First, check your attitude,” he said calmly, yet firmly. “Second, I just wanted to see if you’d be willing to put me first. Since you are willing to do that, I’m willing to do the same for you. You can go to church without me this time, but the next time you go, we go together. Deal?”

I was afraid to agree with him, afraid I’d be making a deal with the devil. But I was also afraid not to agree with him because then the devil in him would come out and I’d have to face him. Asanti was really starting to scare the hell out of me and I needed out of the relationship with him asap.

“Okay,” I agreed humbly.

Then he smiled sexily as he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me.

Thirty minutes later I was just stepping out of the car I had parked in the parking lot of Greater Ascension Baptist Church when I felt someone come behind me and tackle me so hard I almost fell down. When I was able to turn around and get a look at who it was, tears immediately sprang to my eyes. It was my son, Armani, holding onto me for dear life. Before I had time to wrap my arms around him I saw my other two children racing toward me with tears in their eyes.

Then I broke.

The tears flowed from me like water from a breached dam. The sobs flew out of me with a force that zapped all of my energy. I gripped the three of them in one big hug and released all of the pent up emotion that had been stored in me since the madness in my life began.

“Mommy, we missed you so much!” Amaya cried on my shoulder.

I felt like dog dung on the heel of a vagabonds shoe for putting my kids through the drama.

“Mama, where have you been?” Allegra asked as she too cried and hugged me.

I didn’t want to lie to them, but I couldn’t tell them the truth. They were seeking an answer and the one I had to give them wasn’t one they could handle or should be handling at such young ages. I was wrong, so wrong to have put them in such a situation. I was a terrible person and a horrible mother. What kind of monster was I?

What could I tell them that would make them feel better without me having to lie or reveal too much of what was going on? How much detail could I go into and yet spare them the harsh reality they were living?

I hated myself at that moment.

“I’ve been taking care of something that’s serious and very important. But as soon as I’m done, as soon as I’ve handled everything and—“

“Don’t ask your mother anymore questions,” I heard my husband, the first one, tell the kids. “She doesn’t have time to answer them right now because church is starting in a few minutes.”

Without so much as a hug, the man I loved with my whole heart walked up to me and placed a gentle yet detached kiss on my cheek. Then he grabbed Amaya’s hand and began to walk his family toward the entrance of the church.

“Hello, Sister Bentencourt. How are you?” La’Keisha Martin-Carter, the best singer in the choir, and wife of the associate pastor, asked me as she walked beside her grandmother toward the church as well.

“I’m doing well,” was my instant reply. That was a lie.

“That’s good to know. We haven’t seen you here in a while.”

I know it was just concern, but it irked the hell out of me. The last thing I wanted was attention focused on me. And if La’Keisha, the least nosey person in the church, noticed my absence, I knew that all of the hens in the house were going to be all over me seeking an answer. I wasn’t ready for that.

“Come here and give Nana Ru a hug, baby,” La ’Keisha’s grandmother said as she stared at me.

The look on Mrs. Ruth’s face told me that the woman knew something was off with me. And being that she had a connection with God that few people had, I knew she wanted to do more than hug. I didn’t want that hug, or the words I was sure she had. But because she was the oldest living person in the church and everyone respected her immensely, there was also no way I could refuse her. So I walked away from my family for the briefest moment and bent to give the little lady a hug.

That’s when she whispered in my ear. 

“God’s gonna forgive you, child. He’s gonna forgive you and He’s gonna work everything out for you. But first you gotta trust Him, then you gotta let everything go. Just walk away from what you know is outside of his will.”

With those words, she gave me a kiss on the cheek as she squeezed my hand. Then she fell back in line with her grandchild and went into the church. Her words left me shaken to my core.

Did she know? Did she know what was going on in my life? How treacherous I was? How devious I was? Could she tell I was sincerely sorry? How bad I wanted to make things right?

I was so embarrassed that I almost turned back toward my vehicle until I looked up and saw my husband, the first one, waiting at the church doors for me. Unable to make that great escape while he was watching, I exhaled deeply and braved forward until I was in the sanctuary and seated with my entire family all around me.

“The topic of today’s sermon is Lying Lips,” said the reverend as he began his lesson.

My heart pumped in my chest hard and violently. I almost groaned out loud.

“And today’s scripture will be coming from Proverbs chapter twelve and verse twenty-two. Turn your bibles there if you please,” he said in that smooth, buttery voice of his. When the pages of the bibles stopped turning, he went on. “And Proverbs says, ‘Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.’”

Whyyyyyy Lawd! Whhyyyy!

Of all the sermons in all the churches in all the world, I had to be sitting in that one at the moment he starts preaching about lying. I looked up at the pastor and lo and behold that man was looking directly at me. I knew instantly that I was going to hate service that day.

Now I understood why sinners didn’t go to church. Nobody wanted to have their sins thrown in their face. Nobody wanted to sit there smiling at the preacher while he made them feel like crap. And even though I knew the man had no idea what was going on with me personally, I didn’t like the fact that it felt like he did. It took all I had not to storm out of the church like a mad child. But I refrained and sat there until the service was completely over.

As we were heading toward the door, Armani grabbed my hand and walked with me. It struck me as odd that my son was holding my hand because that was something he rarely did. So I looked over at him and when I did, I saw all over his face exactly why he was doing it.

He was afraid that if he didn’t I would leave them yet again.

And his fear was correct.

“So where are we having lunch today?” Armani looked over to me expectantly.

Now what was I going to do? My children needed me. But I had a psycho husband that needed me as well. Could I let Asanti wait a few hours while I spent time with my children and my husband, the first one? Or should I go running back to Asanti and leave my children without their mother and hurt again?

My life had become insane and I needed to get it back together.

But before I could even begin to decide what I was going to do, Ashton spoke up. “Your mother has somewhere to be right now. But she’ll be home as soon as she’s done. Right?” He said the words to them as he looked at me.

“But Mom,” Amaya began to whine. “We haven’t seen you in forever and—”

“Let’s go kids,” Ashton said to them as he started forward, fully expecting them to follow suit.

“But—” I tried to say something but my husband wasn’t having it. He was so angry with me that being near me was killing him. Just the thought of that shattered me into a million pieces. My marriage, the original one, was going to be over if I didn’t get my act together and get it together now. “I was going to treat you guys to lunch at Greedy’s today,” I announced cheerfully, as though that was going to make up for all that I had done to them.

“No thanks,” Ashton spoke coldly, “I’m taking them to the movies and then to a late lunch. So go ahead and get back to work, and we’ll see you whenever,” he turned back in my direction and placed a kiss on my lips. It was for show because there was absolutely no emotion in it. “I love you,” he said to me with an anger that chilled me down to my cheating bones.