Making It Through (3 page)

Monday came and went. As expected, I could hardly grab on to any of the information being hurled at me at an alarming pace, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to catch up if this continued.

Tuesday through Friday were repeats of Monday. Frustration waged a war inside me. I was trying to get back into the swing, but my mind often strayed to thoughts of Matt. At other times, I felt eyes on me, no doubt people seeing me for the first time since it all happened. Apparently, they needed to see for themselves if I would crumble into a pathetic mess of tears. I did manage to avoid that, at least.

And let's be honest, a couple of times, my mind had been drawn back to the handsome stranger on the bridge.

Before I knew it, Monday came again. As my first class was letting out, my cell started to ring.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Stewart?” the voice on the other end asked.

“Yes.”

“This is Mr. Adams, your student advisor. I would like you to come to my office and speak to me regarding your current course load.”

I was confused. “What do we need to talk about, exactly?”

“Could you stop by in about an hour? We have much to discuss.”

“Uh, I guess so.”

“Perfect. Thank you, Ms. Stewart. Good-bye.” Mr. Adams hung up before I could even respond.

An hour later, I knocked lightly and heard a muffled “come in” before I opened the door. Mr. Adams, a forty-something year old balding man, with the fashion sense of a goat, was sitting in his small office behind an oversized mahogany desk. Files and papers were scattered around his desk and continued on an adjacent, low bookshelf. Good God, this man needed an assistant or a maid.

“Ah, Ms. Stewart, please come and sit down.”

I sat across from him in one of the two bucket seats there. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes. First, I would like to express my condolences to you over your loss. I know it must be difficult.”

What the fuck did anyone really know about how difficult it was on me? It was all I could do not to roll my eyes directly at him.

“Yup.”

That nipped that in the bud.

“Yes, well, I asked you here today to discuss the rest of the semester with you. I've had a word with your professors. While we are not far into the current semester, it seems that you have already missed quite a bit of subject material and assignments. They, as well as myself, are concerned that you will not be able to get caught up. None of us want to see you fail the semester, of course. Therefore, I have arranged for a tutor—a study partner if you will—to aid getting you back into the swing of things.”

My head started to swim. “You did what?”

“Arranged for a study partner.”

I shook my head. “I hardly think
that
is necessary. I haven’t needed any help before. I'm sure I can manage without any assistance.”

Mr. Adams smiled kindly at me. “My dear, I’m not really asking if you need the help, I'm telling you. The professors were all watching you last week. They said you were not focusing, one said you didn’t even attempt to write notes. Soon, you won’t be able to get caught up. This is the best solution, believe me.”

A knock at the door shook me from my stunned silence.

“Ah, perfect timing, that must be him now. Come in!” Mr. Adams stood. “Nice to see you again. Madelyne, I would like you to meet your new study partner, Maxwell Granger. Maxwell, this is Madelyne Stewart.”

I reluctantly turned to face my doom. My eyes met with—oh, my God, no it couldn’t be—the gorgeous stranger from the bridge.
Shit
.

Maxwell smiled widely at the clear shock on my face, extending his hand to shake. “Madelyne, it’s nice to meet you.”

The way my name dripped from his tongue was thrilling—my stomach clenched, and no matter how I tried, I wasn’t able to break eye contact.

I reached to meet his hand; big mistake. It was if an electric wire had shocked me. I gasped quietly, and Maxwell grinned wider. Cocky little ass.

“Please, please, sit down.” Mr. Adams gestured to us. “Maxwell, I was just telling Madelyne that you will be helping her get caught up.”

Maxwell looked at me and smiled brightly. “I'm happy to help a fellow student.”

I scowled. “I seriously don’t think this is necessary.”

Mr. Adams shook his head. “Again, Madelyne, the decision is made. Look, after all you have been through...”

I cut him off. “We don’t need to bring that up anymore, if you don’t mind.”

My advisor was quick to respond. “Of course. Sorry. Anyway, all of your professors have kindly agreed to provide you with some small extra credit assignments to add to your grade. This doesn’t happen for everyone, Madelyne, exceptions are being made to help you.”

I sighed, visibly deflating in the chair. I didn’t want to fight anymore. “Yes, I understand. Thank you for trying to help me.” I stood, figuring that this meeting was over. I’d been given my marching orders.

Mr. Adams rose and handed me a large folder. “The extra assignments,” he explained.

Maxwell followed me to the door.

“Madelyne?” Mr. Adams called, and I turned. “It gets easier.”

“Really?” I asked. “It’s funny, because that’s what everyone keeps saying, but it’s usually from people who have not been through this and couldn’t possibly know for sure.”

Suddenly feeling suffocated, I exited the room and rushed outside. The fresh air was cooler than inside, and with my blood flow slowing, my head immediately pounded less. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I had managed to thwart a panic attack.

“You all right?”

That voice, attached to a stunning man, had been in my head for days. I opened my eyes and looked at him, standing just a step away from me. My pulse sped up—his presence did strange things to me. How stupid; he was a complete stranger.

“Yeah, I’m all right.”

“You sure?”

Bah, I needed to change the subject. “So, Maxwell, are we supposed to schedule a time to meet through the week?”

“I told you before, my friends call me Max.”

“And I told you, we're hardly friends.”

“We just need to get reacquainted. Until then, Madelyne, let’s assume we'll be amazing friends and call me Max. The only people who use my full name are my mom and my aunt, and you, beautiful, are definitely neither of them.”

I nodded and began to walk, Max keeping stride right beside me.

“So, Madelyne, when should we have our first study session? I'm guessing we should make it soon, so that we can get started on those assignments.”

“It’s Mady.”

“What’s that?”

I stopped and looked at him. “My name. I like to be called Mady.”

“Ah, got it. Shame, really, Madelyne is a lovely name.” He looked down at me and smiled. “So how about we meet tomorrow?”

“Really? You're available on such short notice?”

“Anything for you.”

I shook my head at him. “I have a funny feeling about this arrangement. Fine, tomorrow it is. Where?”

“My apartment?”

I laughed. “I don’t think so.”

“What’s wrong with that?” He even had the audacity to look offended.

“You have
got
to be kidding me. I'm not even going to
begin
to tell you how bad that idea is. I don’t know you, and I sure as hell don’t trust you enough to spend any time in your apartment.”

“I get it. “Max chuckled to himself. “You don’t trust yourself around me.”

My eyes widened. “What? No! God, you're ridiculous.”

“Maybe, but I’m right.”

I groaned loudly. “I am not going to continue this conversation. How about we meet on the steps of the library, and we can either study outside if the weather is nice enough, or inside if it’s not.”

Max nodded. “All right, beautiful, have it your way.”

I scowled at him. “Stop calling me that. My name is Mady, not beautiful.”

His eyes twinkled. “All right, my beautiful Mady, I will see you tomorrow.”

Shaking my head, I started to walk away, a small smile on my lips. “Goodbye
Maxwell
.”

Following another sleepless night, the next day came quickly, not that I actually expected to sleep. The tossing and turning was wearing me down, leaving me drained.

I merely existed through my classes for the day, three in total. I managed to take a few notes, but most of the material was beyond what I could grasp. Hopefully, the scheduled studying with Max would help that.

Since I had plenty of time before my meeting with Max at the library, I decided to get some food. Then, a text came through on my phone.

Can't we meet? —Colin

I hadn’t spoken to him much since everything crashed down around us. I couldn’t bring myself to look at my phone. But then,
I'd
purposely distanced myself from him and my friends. I couldn’t handle one more person giving me their condolences. I didn’t even want Meagan and Chloe around, and that had never been the case before. I just wanted to be alone. Besides which, it really wasn’t fair to have them feel obligated to spend time with their depressed friend. The burden of my mourning rested solely on me, and I didn’t want anyone to join in that misery.

We met at a little park on the south end of campus. Colin slumped onto a nearby bench, unable to look me in the eye. Something was up. He took a deep breath before what he wanted to say tumbled from his mouth.

“I can’t do this anymore, Mady, I’m sorry. I know you have more than enough to deal with right now, but we don’t communicate anymore. You don’t return my calls. I don’t know how to help you, I don’t know what the right thing to say is. All of this is just too much for me.”

I kept quiet for a moment, processing. I wasn’t actually surprised that this was happening, but I was a little sad about it. Colin was a nice guy. He deserved so much better than I would be able to offer him in the foreseeable future.

Before responding, I nodded slightly. “I’m sorry, too, Colin, I am. I can’t be the girl you deserve right now. I wish I could. But I'm not that person anymore.” I sighed. “I wish I had more to say, or some fight in me, but I don’t.”

Without looking at him again, I stood and walked away.

As I crossed the campus, I pulled out my phone to check the time and scowled—I was late. Max must have been standing there waiting for me for ten minutes already. Dammit! I hated being late.

I ran as fast as I could, but it still took me a good five minutes to get to the library. I glanced around, panting heavily, hoping he hadn’t left, but I didn’t see him. Crap. He probably thought I had stood him up. My head dropped down, defeated.

“You looking for someone?”

I spun around and there was Max, looking like a fashion model in a pair of dark blue jeans and a charcoal gray sweater that clung to his body like a second skin.

“Maxw— Max. I am
so
sorry for being late. I hate being late, and I make special effort never to be. What a horrible way to start off.” I was rambling, and I still hadn’t caught my breath.

“Hey, it’s all right. You’re here now.” Max looked up and pointed. “I think we're in for a bit of rain, so maybe we can move inside. Come on, I reserved a study room for us.”

I was surprised. “Good job thinking ahead.”

I followed him inside, to the cramped study room. A table, with two lonely chairs, ran the length of one of the plain, white walls in the room.

“Sorry, I know it’s tiny, but it was the only one they had left,” Max told me, breaking our silence.

“At least you thought about it. Thank you, and again, I’m sorry for being so late.”

I got myself settled and pulled out my books. I waited until Max had done the same.

“I’m not sure where to begin...”

“Don’t worry, we’ll just do a little review of maybe two classes today and go from there.”

We jumped in and I quickly realized Max was really intelligent, speaking with ease about the class material. Turned out that, aside from some electives, we had many of the same classes. That seemed impossible; I was sure I'd have remembered seeing him before. He assured me it was true. For some of his classes, he was able to attend at different times, and most professors didn’t mind him booking a meeting with them if he missed anything when extracurricular events kept him from attending.

When I next looked at my phone, two hours had passed. I put my pen down and stretched, arching my back and reaching my arms back over the chair. I looked over and noticed Max was watching me intently.

“What?” I asked, embarrassed.

He cleared his throat. “Nothing, sorry.”

I took a quick drink of my water bottle, and again, I caught Max watching me. “Why do you keep looking at me? Do you want some water or something?” I asked, holding the bottle towards him.

He licked his lips, and my eyes zoned in to his. Wow, they really were something—sensual and just a shade darker than his
toffee
skin. He was quite the sight. I shook my head as he grabbed the bottle from me and took a swig.

“Sure, thanks,” he replied with a grin, leaning back in his chair. “So, what held you up today, if you hate being late?”

I didn’t want to lie, but I wasn’t altogether comfortable admitting the situation. “My boyfriend texted me. He wanted to meet so that we could break up.” I shrugged.

Max looked shocked. “What? Why would he do that?”

“It’s not a big deal. He wasn’t getting what he needed from the relationship.”

His eyes bugged out. “You mean to tell me that all he was worried about was getting sex from you?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “No! I guess I should have worded that differently. He wasn’t getting any of my attention, that’s all.”

Now Max looked confused. “Why not?”

I sighed heavily. “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

He looked at me in silence.

“Are you waiting for more?” I’m not sure why, but when he nodded, words flowed from my mouth. “The condensed version? My brother died three weeks ago, and before you ask, no, I don’t want to discuss it. People have seemed more worried about which words they should say than the way
I'm
actually feeling. It’s frustrating. I don’t want to bring any more focus on me. It’s hard enough.”

He nodded his head once to say he understood.

“Anyway, I'd been avoiding Colin. He’s a nice guy, but
I'm
not who I was when we started seeing each other. The breakup isn't surprising, and I'm not even sure I'm sad. It is what it is, you know?”

Max sat looking at me for some time before he spoke. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I'll say it anyway. I’m sorry that you have had to endure that. I get now why you were so short with Mr. Adams. Thank you for trusting me enough to share even a little bit of your story with me.”

My stomach took that moment to grumble loudly. I laughed lightly. “Sorry. The break-up sidetracked my hunt for food earlier.”

“You mean you didn’t eat?” When I shook my head, Max closed his textbooks with a loud bang. “Well, then, I think we should go and find you something to eat.”

“You don’t have to do that,
I'll
be fine.”

“Nonsense,” Max stated firmly. “I don’t want to hear any arguments. Pack up, let’s go.”

We headed into the cool air—the sun was in the beginning stages of setting.

“Follow me,” he ordered.

We walked over to a beat up, cobalt blue, four-door Jetta. I stood looking at the contraption before me. “What are we doing here?”

“It’s my car. Come on, get in.
I'm
going to feed you.”

“Is it safe?” I asked warily.

A wicked gleam entered Max’s eyes as he replied. “Would you get in my car? Or do I have to come over there, pick you up, and put you in myself. On second thought... stay right there, it might be fun to do it myself.”

“All right, all right! There's no need for all that.” I held up my hands to halt his progression toward me, my heart pounding in my chest. What the hell was wrong with me? Just the idea of Max’s hands on me sent shivers down my spine.

I climbed in and he zoomed off. My phone dinged in my hand.

“Anything good?” Max asked, glancing at me with a smile.

I quickly read the text. “Nah. My best friend, Meagan, heard about the break up and wanted to make sure I was okay.”

I replied to let her know I was fine and promised to catch up soon.

“Where exactly are you taking me?” I asked.

Max glanced at me and smiled. “You're hungry. I thought maybe you might like some food, and I happen to know the best little place.”

“And what place might that be?”

Max slowed the car at a red light before turning to face me. “You know, you ask far too many questions. Can’t you just let go for a while?”

I wasn’t sure I knew how to do that. “I don’t know,” I admitted.

Max looked perplexed by my response, but we carried on, and before long, he was parking the car.

The restaurant was a little hole-in-the-wall kind of joint, with a beautiful sign that read, Beatrice’s Island Oasis. It wasn’t a place I would have necessarily looked twice at, but Max seemed sure.

We walked to the counter at the back of the restaurant, where an older woman with graying, black hair stood.

Max turned to me. “Okay, so whatever you do,” he informed me, “Don’t eat the curry. It’s terrible.”

“Excuse me, young man, you can’t just walk in here and insult me and my cooking like that.”

“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”

What was Max thinking, to insult this woman in such a fashion? “Max, that’s not very nice,” I scolded.

The woman laughed. “That’s right, you listen to your young lady there.”

Max shook his head, “It seems unfair to have two against one.” Then he laughed. “Mady, maybe I should explain. This is my Auntie Beatrice; she owns this
terrible
restaurant.”

Beatrice snorted. “If it is soooo bad, why do you eat here three times a week?”

“Very true, Auntie. So, do you think you could set us up with some food?”

She patted his cheek roughly with her palm. “Sure, sweetheart, I think I can do that for your lady friend. You, on the other hand, are a different story.”

Max leaned over and kissed her firmly on the cheek, before she shooed him off her counter. He pulled on my sleeve, and I joined him at a nearby table.

Two large plates, piled high, were set before us. Mouth-watering aromas filled the air—heavenly. I dug in, and oh, my God, it was probably the best Caribbean food
I'd
ever had. Soft moans escaped my mouth with every taste of each item on my plate—curried goat, salt fish, jerk chicken, not to mention the healthy portion of rice and beans. This wonderful woman made sure we were well taken care of, as promised.

“Max, this food is amazing. I can see why you like coming here.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair; my tummy was stuffed!

“Yeah, I gathered you enjoyed it. You finished already?” Max looked at me with a heated smirk. Why on earth was he looking at me like that? I shook my head. “Uh yeah, there's no way one person could eat all that she gave us.”

Beatrice came up to the table. “Thank you so much for this wonderful meal.” I smiled at the woman.

“I’ll pack up the rest for you for later.” She patted my shoulder kindly. “Max, why have you never brought any of your girlfriends here before? This one must be special.”

Oh, boy
. I could feel my face heating to the color of a tomato. I looked at Max, and he wasn’t saying anything;
say something
. Jeez. Well, someone had to.

“Um, actually Beatrice, Max is just a friend. He’s my study partner.”

“Auntie, don’t go reading anything into this. It’s true what Mady said. We got hungry while we were studying, so I brought her here,” Max finally piped in.

“Uh huh.” She didn’t look convinced.

I stood and Max joined me. “Thank you again for such a wonderful meal. How much do I owe you?” I asked reaching into my bag.

“Nonsense!” Beatrice waved me away before sneaking back into the kitchen.