Matt Fargo (49 page)

Oh my god, his/her face pisses me off so much. chikushō aitsu no kao chō emu emu da

kireru

If Step One of anger is getting pissed off, then Step Two is snapping. The Japanese word for snapping, kireru, means exactly the same thing: the delicate thread suspending your overwrought composure has just snapped in half with an unbecoming twang.

Another word you will hear in this context is gyaku gire
, which literally means “snapping back”—like when you yell “Fuck you” out the window at a Chinese lady who just cut you off, only to have her blue-haired head come poking
out of her Oldsmobile to yell “YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO, MOTHERFUCKER” in a voice that leaves the next four generations of your children in shame.

kenka

Ever since World War Two, Japan has been a peaceful country in which the word “fighting” has no meaning. Just kidding! Even though guns are illegal in Japan, a fair amount of shit gets kicked, some of it even memorably violent. My dirty mouth has gotten me black eyes and a busted jaw, plus one time I saw a couple tweakers totally brain a kid with a mountain bike. Oh yeah, and I got a knife pulled on me once in Shinjuku, but that was by a creepy Russian dude. Still, the language barrier often prevents foreigners from getting involved in some of the best bloodletting that the Eight Islands have to offer—so get yourself some good health insurance and try out the following: