Me & My Boyfriend (10 page)

“What you planning on doing? You gonna leave me, Meesa, huh? What you gonna take Kyan and leave? No! You know ya ass ain't going anywhere. Yeah, I fucked her, and what. What you expect me to do, huh! Sit up and play house and shit. That shit is for the birds. This is not a fantasy, this is life Meesa. I'm a man, I can't be tied down to one woman and one woman only!” Every word Black spoke cut Meesa deeper and deeper and he knew it. He couldn't get fronted on in front of everybody. If he let her talk to him any kind of way, he would lose creditability.

“Fuck you, Black!” Meesa screamed. Having the keys to the car in her purse she drove home, crying hysterically, the whole way home. How could he do me like that she thought. I thought he loved me and Kyan.

“Why Lord, why Lord?” She asked.

Wiping her eyes and checking her face in the rearview mirror, Meesa got out the car. Not wanting Rose to know anything was wrong she pulled herself together. Getting Kyan ready to go home was a obstacle all in itself. Everytime she looked at his tiny face she saw Black.

Ms. Rose sensed something was the matter but didn't ask. Back at home, Meesa got a couple of her suitcases ready. Kyan laid sleep in his crib not knowing his family was being torn apart. Meesa got through one suitcase when Black came in the house. Making his way up the stairs and finding her packing he asked, “Where you going?”

Walking past Black, Meesa continued to grab more clothes from the closet.

“You leaving? Well, you can leave if you want, but you not taking my son though, you know that don't you?”

“What in the fuck do you mean I'm not taking Kyan?”

“Like I said, you can leave if that's what you want to do, but my son ain't going nowhere!”

“Black, fuck you! You don't give a fuck about Kyan, yourself, or me! Cause if you did, you wouldn't have to go out in the streets to find whatever it is you're looking for! Why did you do it Black? That's all I want to know, why? Don't you know that you could have gave me a STD or AIDS, you ass!”

“I don't know why I did it. I just did it!” He yelled back.

“What, you don't love me anymore, is that it?”

“Yeah I still love you! I love you and Kyan and you know that!”

“How can you honestly sit up here and say you love me and you cheated on me Black!”

“Look man, all I know is that you and Kyan are my heart and I don't want you to leave.”

“What do you want me to do Black, stay and let you walk all over me? I've told you once and I've told you twice, I don't need you! I'm not gonna let you sit up here and cheat on me every five minutes!” Still packing, Meesa heard Kyan cry.

“Move!” She said, pushing past Black to get to Kyan. Rocking him back to sleep, she cried harder and harder. Black stood and looked around the room. On their dresser sat a family picture of him, Meesa, and Kyan. They were so happy he thought, “So, why did you have to go and fuck everything up?” He questioned himself.

Meesa reentered the bedroom and started back packing.

“Meesa sit down baby, please?” Black asked.

Ignoring him, she continued packing. Blocking her from the closet Black grabbed her arm.

“Let me go Black!” She screamed.

“No, I'm not letting you go,” He said, while trying to restrain her.

“Why, you don't love me! So why should I stay, huh? Give me one good reason why I should stay!” Not being able to think fast enough, he couldn't think of an answer to give her.

“Let me go Black, you can't even give me one good reason to stay!” Jerking her arms out of his grasp, she headed back to the closet.

“I never in my life have hated someone, but I can honestly say that I hate you.” The words I hate you shot Black right in the heart. His whole life was falling apart and he couldn't do anything about it. Finished packing, Meesa grabbed a suitcase, preparing herself to leave.

Walking towards the door, Black ran and caught her.

“Let me go Black!” Meesa yelled, trying to break his grasp.

“Come here!” He said, turning her around forcefully. She faced him.

“I Love you! No matter what, even if you leave right here, right now, I'll always love you. I don't want you to leave me, but if that's what you feel like you got to do, then I'll understand.”

Still struggling to get away from him Meesa hit him in the face. Pushing her up against the wall he whispered, “It's you and me forever. I'm sorry Shorty. I'll never do it again. I need you and Kyan too much. Just don't leave, a'ight?” Pinned against the wall, Meesa stood still.

Thinking that sex would solve everything, he started kissing her lightly on the mouth while holding her hands.

Black continued saying, “I need you, you don't understand that I need you.” Unfazed, Meesa didn't respond to his advances.

“You do not need me Black, nor do you love me. Because if you did, you wouldn't have done what you did!

I hear you Shorty, but I do love you.” Black said, all the while kissing her.

“You claim that you love me Black, but you don't!” Caressing her face tenderly, Black tried his best to quiet her down.

“I need you boo, don't go, a'ight. We can work this shit out. It's me and you and you know that Mee Mee.” Weeping freely, Meesa tried to let go of all the pain and hurt that was killing her softly.

“I have to go Black. I can't let you do this shit to me. What kind of women would I be if I allowed you to cheat on me?” Meesa asked.

“Kiss me baby please, I'll make everything right if you just let me.”

Looking into Black's eyes, she felt resentment being replaced with yearning. So she let him kiss her. Kissing her eyes, he licked her tears away. Pulling her top over her head and untying the bikini top, he fondled her breast. Wanting to please her as much as possible, he laid Meesa down on the smooth, plush carpet.

“I'm sorry Mee. Please let me make love to you.” He asked gently. Not wanting to leave yet, she let him do whatever he pleased. Taking off his clothes and hers, he laid on top of her. In a twisted way, Meesa wanted him to make love to her. Wanting him to show her that he loved her and no one else. Tenderly kissing her all over, Meesa felt wanted.

“I want you in my life Meesa forever.” Black whispered in her ear.

“Why Black, why? Why did you do me like this, why? I love you so much. I want you Black. I can't live without you. And you know it and that's why you do shit like this.” Meesa cried, getting heated all over again. Black knew he had to take her mind off of the situation, so he took his head down south.

Grasping the carpet, Meesa tried to keep her composure, but
the sensation felt too good. Moving his tongue all around her insides, Black aimed for Meesa to feel bliss. Black grabbed her legs and pushed them all the way back so he could take in all of her inner being. His plan was working because the feeling became too much for her to handle. Moaning from sheer agony, Meesa came. Her body shaking from the ecstasy, Black lifted himself up to watch. He loved the way her whole body spoke everything she felt. Filling her up with his being, Black gazed into Meesa's eyes.

Connecting on another level they moved with each other to the rhythm of love. With every stroke Black spoke, “I love you.”

Torn between love and hate, Meesa continued the flow and didn't speak a word. How will I put you out of mind she thought to herself? Can I leave and never come back, she questioned herself.

“I want to get on top.” Meesa demanded. Riding him slowly at first with every lift, she gave him a look like, “This is what you're going to be missing.” Gradually increasing speed, and not wanting to look at him anymore, Meesa turned around so that her ass could face him instead of her face. Black held on to her waist tight trying his best to keep up.

Cuming into her secret passage, he tried to steady Meesa on top of him, but she kept going.

“Be still, be still.” He said. Playing like she was deaf, Meesa still went. Nearing another orgasm herself she went even faster.

“Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm coming, Oh, Oh!” She yelled. Breathing loudly they gathered the little strength they had and got up. Meesa entered the shower feeling defeated.

“What have I done?” She asked herself. Letting the water soothe her, she stood crying.

Standing next to the bathroom door, Black heard her crying out loud.

“Man fuck, what if she leaves.” He asked himself.

Why did I do the shit anyway he thought. I know that I got a down ass chick here at home, so why did I fuck with Brandy and them other hoes. Passing each other without a word, Black went and took her place in the shower.

Meesa lotioned up and put on a T-shirt. Looking in the mirror, Black felt for the very first time, disgust. You risked your life for a piece of ass you dumb fuck, he thought. Getting under the covers with Meesa, Black wondered should he hold her. Thinking that she needed her space, he turned and faced the wall.

At 4:45 a.m, and after hours of contemplating leaving, Meesa finally did. Kissing Kyan on the forehead, she told him she loved him and that she would be back. Making sure he had enough breast milk to last a day or two, she tossed the suitcases into her truck. Looking back at her house she knew she had to leave. Not wanting anyone to know where she was, Meesa checked into a hotel.

6:01 a.m. and Black rolled over to a crunching sound. Opening his eyes to inspect the bed, he saw no Meesa. But instead found a note. It read:

Black
,

I heard you over and over again last night when you said that you were sorry. But what you don't understand is that it takes more than I'm sorry. You've broken my heart to many times, and this will be the last time. I'm nothing without you and Kyan. But things are not the same for you. If they were, you wouldn't have jeopardized us for some ass. I do believe you when you say that you love me though. But your meaning of love and my meaning of love is two different meanings. I love you unconditionally and with all of my heart. From the moment I saw you, I loved you. I thank God everyday for you, and the joy you bring to me. But it seems to me that the bad times out weigh the good. Love is everything to me, and without it, I'm nothing. You and nobody
else on this earth will ever understand the pain I feel. Nobody but me can say what is best for me, and right now, you are not right for me. You will one day see how much I need you. You pretend that I matter, but in all honesty, I don't. I'll still be here waiting though for you to one day return the love I have in my heart for you. The thoughts in my head are driving me crazy and I need to be alone to think. My heart hurts to leave Kyan, but right now, I have to. I'm no good to him or myself right now. The engagement ring you gave me is on the dresser, maybe Brandy would like it. Marriage is not something you want with me. So, I have no other choice, than to say no. I will not marry you Black. Black, I feel like the beat in my heart has gone. Why you feel as if you have to cheat is something I'll never know. I hope one day you can tell me why. My angel, the beat in my heart, my one, my every breath, you are. Why can't I mean that much to you, I'll never know. It really doesn't matter though, I'll see you and Kyan soon. By then I will have decided what I plan to do.

Meesa

Entering their front door was like entering a whole different world after the night before. Wearing her Jackie O sunglasses to conceal her puffy eyes, Meesa sat her bag down.

Going straight to Kyan's room, she found him peacefully sleep. Going into their bedroom she saw that their bed hadn't been made. Walking around the upstairs she saw no signs of Black. Becoming worried, she ran down the flight of stairs to find Ms. Rose entering the kitchen.

“Meesa child, you home, thank God! Girl, where have you been? I have been worried sick. Black called me at five in the morning telling me you ran away.”

Meesa couldn't help but laugh. Black would say she ran away.

“Now what in the hell is going on between you two?”

“Look Ms. Rose, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but you need to ask Black because I'm tired.”

“Tired of what Meesa, are you sick or something?”

“You could probably say that.” Walking pass Ms. Rose to get a glass of juice, Meesa continued on, “Ms. Rose I'm sick of a lot of shit.”

“Now wait a minute Meesa, I know this is your house, but respect me, ok.”

Checking herself, Meesa apologized. “Rose I love you dearly. I'm sorry for disrespecting you, but I'm sick of your grandson, my life, and everything else wrong in my life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on my son.”

Deciding that Meesa had lost her mind, Ms. Rose hurried to call Black. “Hello? Black this is Rose, where are you?”

“I'm out riding, still trying to find Meesa. Why, have you heard anything from Mee Mee?”

“Yes, she's here. She just came in about a half an hour ago. Now since no one will tell me what's going on, I'm about to go home.”

“No wait Granny. Wait till I get home to leave. I need you make sure Meesa don't leave with Kyan.

“You think she'll actually take Kyan and leave?

“Man, I don't know right now what she'll do.”

“Well, Black she is acting a little crazy. When I asked her what was going on, she got smart with me. Now I know that's not like Mee Mee, so I let it slide. But whatever is going on between the two of you, ya'll need to get it together.”

“I'm on my way.” Black said hanging up.

Entering the house, Black didn't know what to expect. Approaching the living room, Black saw Ms. Rose, but no Meesa.

“Where is she?”

“She's still upstairs. Look Black, whatever happened last night to cause all this, has got to be bad.”

“Granny I cheated on her, ok!”

“Well, I figured that much fool. Well Black, you need to do everything in your power to get her back, because she is the best thing to happen to you. You do know that don't you?”

Yes Granny. Look, can you let us talk in private please?”

“Sure child, I'm tired.”

Shutting the door, Black gathered himself and made the walk up to the flight of stairs. Coming into their bedroom he spotted suitcases everywhere. So, she is planning on leaving with Kyan, he thought. Meesa reentered the bedroom from their walk-in closet. Startled, she jumped at the sight of Black.