Me & My Boyfriend (11 page)

“So what's up with the bags Shorty? I thought you left last night.

Ignoring his smart comment, Meesa continued to fold clothes.

Slowly recognizing his own clothes being folded Black questioned, “What you folding my clothes for?”

“I'm folding your clothes because you're leaving.”

“Leaving and going where Mee Mee?”

“Now see, that part is not really my problem Black. Frankly, I don't give a damn where you go just as long as you leave.”

“You must be out your damn mind if you think I'm moving out my own damn house. Shit, you must be smoking.”

“Black, I'm not going to argue with you okay, you're leaving.” Angrily Black started snatching clothes from the suitcases and out of Meesa's hand.

“Black, stop I ain't got time for ya shit, STOP!” She screamed.

Seeing he wasn't going to leave, Meesa pushed past him. Grabbing her arm he forced her to face him.

“Let me go Black! She yelled.”

“No, not until you listen to me.”

“Listen to you for what? What you gonna come with, that same tired rap that you love me and can't live without me?” Looking into his eyes she knew she was right.

“Yeah, I'm right. You know what Black, you ain't shit, and it's sad because I'm just now figuring that shit out. Hell, you already cheated on me once and I forgave you, because you swore up and down that you loved me and that you weren't going anywhere, and I believed your black ass. Now guess what, we're right back were we started. Let's just face the facts, you don't love me Black. You don't even know what the meaning of love is yet, do you!” She yelled in his face.

“Yeah.” Was all he could come back with in response.

“What sex Black, huh, money, jewelry? You don't' know shit dumb ass.” She spat, while yanking away from him.

Not wanting her to get away with hurting him, he shot back. “Whatever Mee Mee, fuck you! I'm tired of this shit too. I'm tired of kissing your spoiled ass. That's all you want, for somebody to kiss ya ass. You don't know shit either. Sitting up under me all day doesn't mean you know shit about love. I'm sick of ya ass too then.”

“Well, it's about time you came out and said the shit Black. I should've done this shit a long time ago. I'm tired of playing house with ya ass. Well, if you're so tired Black, leave then, shit. Kyan and I don't need you.”

“That's what you want me to do, huh, to leave my son?”

“No Black, I don't want you to leave Kyan. I want you to leave me. Look, we tried, it didn't work. You finally have the freedom to do you, and I'll do me. We'll work out something with Kyan.”

“So, that's what you really want?” Black questioned. Tired and defeated Meesa could only utter. “Yes.”

Only silence could fill the room. Black, for once, at a loss for words. Seeing she was serious, Black grabbed his keys off the bed.

Tears filled Meesa's eyes as she realized it was really over. Black fought back tears of despair.

“If that's what you want Shorty, than I'll leave.”

Black strolled out the bedroom, out of their house, and out of her life.

Running and grabbing the phone, Meesa dialed Destiny's number. Answering on the first ring, Destiny couldn't even get out hello. All she heard was crying.

“Meesa is that you?” Nothing was said, just weeping and hollering.

“Meesa honey calm down. What's wrong?”

Meesa tried her hardest to muster words. The room was starting to spin and she felt out of control.

“Meesa what happened? Did Black hit you?”

After a moment passed, and she was able to speak, she answered. “No Dee, it's over. I told him to leave.”

“Oh Meesa girl, it's going to be okay.”

“No it's not Dee, Black is my life. You don't know how hard I tried to hold on, and for what?” Anger started to fill Meesa.

“I gave my all to his ass and for what!” She yelled into the phone. “Why he have to lie to me Dee? We both grown, he could have just said he wanted to be with someone else. But no, he had to go and cheat!”

Knowing that her friend was hurt and confused Destiny sat and listened.

“What am I going to do now? I quit school to be with his ass. I don't have a job. My momma is probably turning flips in her grave right now Dee.”

“Meesa, you mean to tell me you ain't got any money saved up? I know Black was throwing money at you left and right.”

“I mean I got a little saved up, but not enough to last even a month Destiny.

“Well, you know I got you if you need anything.”

“Thanks Dee, but I'll think of something.”

“Meesa, I'm not questioning your decision, but are you really sure you want to leave Black?” For a second, she thought to herself, maybe I did move to fast. But thinking back on the events of last night reassured her decision.

“Yeah, I'm sure Dee. It's for the best. Black still has a lot of growing up to do.”

“Okay, then I understand.”

“Look, thanks for listening Dee.”

“No problem.”

“I'm tired, I need to take a nap, I'll call you later.” Hesitantly, Destiny got off the phone. Never had she heard Meesa in such a state. Destiny wondered if she should go over Meesa's house. After contemplating, she decided to trust her friend.

Rest is what Meesa needed. Emotionally drained wasn't the word, Meesa didn't even trust herself anymore.
The only sane thing in her life was Kyan. He was getting so big and smarter each day.

A couple of weeks had passed since the breakup. At first, Black thought that after a couple of days, Meesa would change her mind. But soon he saw that he was wrong. So he stayed with Rose until he found a suitable condo. He and Meesa agreed he would get Kyan on the weekends. Missing his son during the week was an understatement. Black truly enjoyed spending time with his son.

Meesa tried to put on a happy face when Fridays came. She didn't want Black to see how much she was hurting. During the week, she walked around the house like a zombie. She didn't care that she looked crazy and deranged. But by Friday at 12 p.m., she was pulled together. She was always at the door ready and waiting for Black. They both chose to speak only the necessary. Things like, hi, how have you been, what time will he be back, and bye, all the while, stealing glances at one another.

Running low on cash, Meesa needed money, but she refused to ask Black for a dime. One night, after Black brought Kyan back home, Meesa found a wad of cash stashed in his baby bag. Even though they weren't together, Black still didn't want her to go without.

Deciding it was only right to call him and say thanks, Meesa called his cell.

Sitting at Kat's house counting money, Black answered, “Hello.”

Nervous, Meesa replied, “Umm hi.”

Black sat back on the couch and smiled at the sound of her voice.

“What's up?” He answered in his deep baritone voice? The bass from his voice spoke volumes.

“I just wanted to thank you. I appreciate the money you left in Kyan's bag. You didn't have to do that, and I just wanted to thank you.” Meesa said honestly.

“Oh, no problem. You know that if you need anything you can ask me, don't you?”

“Yeah, I know.” She spoke, almost in a whisper. Starting to fill uncomfortable, she hurried the conversation.

“Well, that's all I called to say, see you Friday.” Not really wanting the conversation to end, Black responded with a modest, “Okay.”

Lunchtime at the Cheesecake Factory was always busy. Meesa and Destiny sat and split a piece of chocolate cheesecake while Gwen sipped on a Latté. Each had spent an obscene amount of money in the mall.

It was Meesa's lucky day, she had lucked up on a pair of Christian Louboutin heels on sale. For the first time in a long time, she had a smile on her face. After much persistence, she finally decided to leave the house. It felt good to her to have on nice clothes again instead of sweats.

“Ooh girl, I'm gonna gain about ten pounds.” Destiny said while scarfing down the cheesecake.

“Please Destiny, as skinny as you is, you need to gain about ten pounds.” Gwen said laughing. They all laughed because
Destiny was model-like thin. She never seemed to gain weight and the girl ate like there was no tomorrow.

“Let me go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.” Meesa said, while getting up from the table. Meesa didn't notice the eyes on her from across the room. While she made her way across the crowded restaurant, she rummaged through her purse. Not paying attention to what she was doing, she bumped into someone. Embarrassed, Meesa apologized.

“Oh, no problem, ma.”

Trying to avoid the eye contact he was giving, Meesa walked around him.

“Excuse me,” He spoke.

“Yes.”

“I know this might sound lame, but you are breathtaking.”

Meesa's cheeks burned red. “Thank you, that's not lame. It was a very sweet compliment.”

Damn, I haven't seen anybody this fine since Black she thought to herself. He stood 6 feet tall, medium build, with curly black hair.

His cinnamon complexion complemented his brown eyes, and the boy had style. He sported a Cardinal's baseball jacket, white T-shirt, dark baggy Diesel jeans, and vintage Air Jordan's. And he had bling to match.

“I know you're probably with somebody, right? You have to have a man?”

So used to turning cats down on the strength of Black, she answered, “Yes.”

“I knew it. Well, I had to try. Nice meeting you.”

What the hell are you doing? She thought. You and Black are not together.

“Hey wait.” She said, almost yelling.

“I'm sorry I'm not seeing anyone.” The guy stood puzzled. Trying to cover and not tell all her business, she motioned him over.

“Look, I was just kind of caught off guard so forgive me.”

“Oh, that's cool. I know you probably get hit on all the time. So, can I get your number so I can call you sometime?” “First of all, my name is Meesa. What's yours?”

“Damn, I'm bugging, my name is Mike.” After talking some more, they exchanged numbers and parted ways.

“Damn, it took you long enough hoe. Who was that you were talking to? Because he was fine.” Gwen questioned.

“His name is Mike, he's from the north side.” Meesa replied.

“I know him from somewhere, I just can't put my finger on it.” Destiny said.

“Well, he seems cool.” Meesa said. “Hell, if you don't want him, I do.”

“Shut up Gwen.”

“For real Mee Mee, you better call him. You and Black have been broken up now for a while.”

“Yeah girl, he might be the one to take your mind off Black,” Destiny suggested.

“I'm gonna call him okay, dang. Now let's go, Black will be at the house with Kyan in a minute.

“So you talk to her?”

“Yeah man I got her number. She ate that shit up. I played the whole good guy thing like you said. She fell for it.”

“Good, game her up real good.” Daryl spoke in a stern voice.

“I think Destiny might remember me though. She was staring at me real hard.”

“Man, by the time she realize who you are, shit will have already hit the fan. Call me back when you talk to her.”

“A'ight one.” Mike answered.

On the way to drop Gwen off, Black called to inform Meesa that he would be dropping Kyan off late.

With time to spare Meesa and Gwen caught a movie together. After seeing Gothika and being scared shitless, she dropped Gwen off at home.

Finally I'm home. Even after all this time, it still felt funny to walk into an empty house. It took some getting use to. Black's presence was still felt around the house. From the clothes of his that still hung in the closet, to the cologne he wore sitting on the bathroom sink.

Every morning, Meesa awoke to his face. The family picture of them still sat on the nightstand beside their bed. Mary J. Blige's new CD flowed through the speakers, while Meesa sat in the soothing hot bath water reminiscing.

Reminiscing on the old days of her and Black's relationship was all she could do. No man could take his place and she knew it. Even after all his bullshit, he still had her heart. And any new man she met had pretty big shoes to fill.

The new black Victoria's Secret negligee was a must to put on since Black would be coming soon.

“Hell, he might as well see what he's missing.” Meesa laughed to herself.

Soft spiral curls and a touch of makeup made up her look. This, by the way, was sinful. Black didn't stand a chance.

Ding Dong, Ding Dong!! Meesa checked herself in the mirror. Acting as if everything were normal, she opened the door.

“Hey baby.” She spoke, while taking Kyan from Black.

Oh, she doing it like that, Black thought to himself.

“Shush, he's asleep. Go and put him in the bed.” The sight was too much for Meesa.

Kyan lay asleep in his father's arms. He was as content as he could be. The soft curly tendrils of hair were all array. He was the most beautiful baby ever to Meesa.

“Okay. Was he good for you? He's been kind of fussy with me all week.”

“Oh you know how me and lil man do. He's always good with me.” He joked, while stroking Kyan's hair. Handing him to her, he accidentally touched her skin.

“Oh, alright. Well talk to you later.” She said, while trying to close the door.

“Ay um, let me use the phone? I left my cell in the car.”

“Come on in.” She anxiously spoke. Meesa hurried and took Kyan to his room, quickly undressing him and putting on his pajamas. Back in the kitchen, Black played like he had used the phone, knowing that he was only buying time. After a while, he met up with Meesa in the living room.

“Thanks for letting me use the phone.” I shouldn't have to ask to use shit, since I still pay all the bills.” Black thought.

“You're welcome.” Meesa wanted him to stay, knowing it the very minute she put on the negligee.

“Are you hungry, because I could fix you something if you want?” She said.

Yeah, hungry for you. But instead he replied, “Nah, but I can drink something”.

“You want a Smirnoff, I still keep some in the refrigerator?”

“Yeah, that's cool.”

She didn't know what she was getting herself into, but Meesa liked it. Having Black around made things feel right. Everything was in perspective when he was around. Black downed the Smirnoff in one gulp. They both sat in silence. Unsure of what to say or do next, silence and tension built. Urges started to arise.

“So how have you been?” He asked.

“I've been doing okay. I've started sketching again. And I've made a couple of new outfits.” Meesa lied.

“You?” Messa asked Black.

“Shit, I just have been doing the usual. Did I leave my red Polo shirt here?” Black asked.

“I think so, I'll go upstairs and look.” As she stood, the silk fabric clung to her hips. Black knew she was setting him up, but played along.

“I knew she missed you and me.” He said, talking to his dick after he felt a buzz.

Upstairs, Meesa searched for the shirt. Deciding that the game was over, he joined her. Memories of the day they broke up filled his head as he looked around. He hadn't been upstairs since that day. Everything was still the same. Spotting the shirt, Meesa stood to find Black standing in the doorway.

“You were taking too long so I decided to come help you.” They both eyed the king size bed. The sexual attraction between them was evident. It couldn't be denied no matter how hard they tried.

Traces of her body replayed in his mind.

Meesa couldn't believe how he bluntly eyed her. Why did he have to look so damn good? He had let his dreads grow and he
seemed a little cockier in his arms. His lock's had grown and now reached his shoulders. Meesa bit her lower lip. Why in the hell did he have to be here now?

Looking at her the way he did, Black approached her slowly, taking the shirt from her hands gently. One strap fell off her shoulder as he pushed the other to the side. Meesa trembled at his touch. It had been so long since they communicated on such a level. Knowing the spot on her neck to turn her on he licked. Visualization of past events flooded her mind, Brandy, the club, the fighting, and crying herself to sleep at night.

It felt too good to stop now. Softly his lips brushed her shoulder. Leaning her head back, Meesa's body shuddered at his touch.

The next thing she knew her negligee was on the floor, and she was on the bed. Black's shirt was off and her hands traced his back. Gliding his hands up and down her thighs, he grabbed them and lifted one in the air, kissing and massaging them all at once. Meesa kissed the palm of his hand. Black removed himself from her thigh and to her mouth, kissing her erotically.

She savored his taste. Flashes of a wedding, flowers, and music ran through her mind. Black missed seeing her body. He missed her. No other female had this effect on him. He tried to move on, but Meesa's hold was just too strong. He looked into her eyes to see if she felt the same, but instead he saw doubt.

Stopping to ask, “What's wrong?”

Tears fell from her eyes. Black wiped each away.

“I'm afraid”

“Don't be.”

“Please Black, don't hurt me.” Speechless, Black saw the effect he had on her. He couldn't guarantee it, so he didn't say a thing. Instead, he kissed her lips tenderly. Sucking and licking them she moaned. His skin felt so good on hers. She ran her fingers
down his spine. Making his way down, he found her inner being.

“Yes.” She whispered. Black held her thighs so tight, she couldn't move if she tried.

“Oh yes, umm.” She purred. (Flash) Brandy and tears. Shook she opened her eyes.

“Black stop.”

Lifting his head he replied, “You know you don't want me to.”

Swiftly he guided his way into her. It was all over, she couldn't stop now. It was all too unreal. Black watched her face as her lips quivered. He took a nipple in his mouth and probed and sucked. Meesa bucked and moaned with delight. Turning her over on her stomach he pushed himself in deeper. There was no air in sight. She tried to hold on but he was too much for her. Black quickened the pace. He laid on top her and held her hands. Biting the sheets, Meesa groaned from pleasure. Arriving at the same time, they both came. Black collapsed on top of her. They both laid breathing slowly with sweat covering them.

Dirty and ashamed, Meesa regretted what she had done. The whole situation was unnecessary. Sex was not the solution to their problems, and she knew it. Black, on the other hand, had a smile a mile wide.

Staring into space, Meesa sat and wondered why. Why had she let her emotions take control? Their problems were still there. She wanted a family, he wanted freedom.

Eyeing her he thought, “Here she go tripping and shit.” All Black could do was roll his eyes. The whole victim thing was getting old. Meesa had overplayed her hand this time.

“What are you sitting there looking all crazy for? Don't even answer, I already know!” He yelled.

“See, that's the shit I'm talking about right there. You started
the shit and now you can't finish it. And you say I play too many games,” He angrily spoke.

Black jumped out of the bed and put his pants on. He was tired of Meesa and her mood swings. He couldn't give her what she wanted. She was right, they had tried and it didn't work. He loved her and wanted to be with her, but the life and streets were all he knew. And in the hood, a man will be a man.

Meesa sat up and pulled the covers over her exposed breast. Putting her hands in front of her face to hide the guilt was all she knew to do.