Melabeth Forgive Me, For I Am Sin! (6 page)

I moaned, “Great, it was bad enough that I couldn’t lie to Charlotte. I guess
it's a good thing that you don’t know everything about me.”

Alice
laughed, “We are truly sisters and this moment I feel closer to you than I  have ever felt to anyone. Let’s go to my room, I wish to hear about the first man you killed.”

As we got out of the car I complained
to Alice, “I don’t like telling that story. In fact I have never told anyone…
ever
.”

Alice
's face lit up with delight, “Oh, I love being the first.”

With that she hurried toward the elevator. I was not looking forward to telling her, but wasn’t sure how I could get out of it. Then again
, I don’t think the little thief could make me tell her. By the time we reached her room I decided that if anyone would understand, she would. 

It didn’t take long before me and Alice
were on her bed in our pajamas. Alice was literally jumping up and down waiting for me to start. “Settle down already.”

Alice stopped bouncing then said really fast, “Ok
, ready!”

I laughed, “It’s not that great of a story.
Ok, let me begin, you may not know how my mother died. She died when I was twelve by overdosing on heroin. I found her, dead on the floor with a needle sticking out of her arm. I went to live with my grandparents after that. My father was supposed to clean up before he could have me back. He ended up kidnapping me and taking me to California. He opened up business as a drug dealer. He sold cocaine mostly, but he also dealt in marijuana and heroin.

We had been there six months when I meet Chris. A lot of people came in and out of my Dad
's house. I only meet the drug heads that my Dad let into our home. I wasn’t allowed to go to school or hang out with anyone 'cause my dad was worried that I would get caught. Chris was a beer drinking, pot head, surfer dude. He was also twenty-nine and hot. He hung out with a younger crowd, so when I met him I thought he was so cool. It didn’t take long before I developed quite a crush on him.

He came around often to buy or sell pot with my Dad. He often stayed and got high and passed out on the couch. One night I was in my room when I heard a knock on the door. I open
ed it to find Chris standing there. Everyone else had gone to sleep and he was bored. I invited him in and we hung out.

That night I kissed my first guy. It was harmless enough, we made out and then he left. Thi
s went on for a little while until we progressed sexually. I was head over heels for him, writing his name in my notebook with lots of hearts, x's and o’s.

Early one morning
, he came in my room. We had been making out and touching each other for a week, so I was excited to see him. That morning was different, he was… more demanding. I said no, but he did it anyway.”

Alice
's head cocked to one side, “Did what?”

I let out a breath and clarified, “Sex. It was my first time.”

Alice's face tightened, “If you said no, then he raped you.”

“I know, let me finish.” Alice nodded and I went on. “After that night, I made excuses for him. I was in love with him
, so I told myself it was ok that we had made love. I would have probably been willing to do it again. I was young and foolish. Now we were lovers, it would seem natural that we did it again; that’s what I told myself.

It didn’t work out that way. I didn’t see him for at least a week. He had never stayed away so long before. It didn’t take long before I was blaming myself. Thinking that I should have said yes, and that I was so bad in bed he didn’t want me anymore. He finally came over, but he didn’t come alone.

He brought his girlfriend and introduced her to me. I remember fleeing the room, shutting my door and crying into the night. No one ever came into check on me. Chris came around off and on with his new girlfriend in tow. After a couple of weeks of heartbreak, I hated him.

While
sleeping one night, I was awoken by a man in my bed. I could smell the alcohol. Screaming, I tried to push him out. The man said, "Don’t worry it’s me, Chris." As if that made it better somehow.

I screamed at him to get out. When he finally got out of
the bed, there was no way not to notice that he was naked and hard as a rock. He tried to shove it in my face and I screamed. Angry at all the noise I was making. He left, while cursing at me.

Alice asked, “That’s when you killed him, right?”

I shook my head, “No, I told my Dad. Dad sat me down and explained that I needed to lock my door at night. He excused Chris because he was drunk. In a week’s time, he was hanging around the house again.

I was mean to him, and
I did my best to make him go away, but he didn’t. His girlfriend had left him. Now he had more free time to hang out. Every night that he stayed over, I slept like shit, jumping at every little sound in the house. I would freak out every time someone walked down the hall to use the bathroom.

Finally
, all my fears came true. One night he came into my room. I hadn’t locked the door because I hadn’t known he was over. I had been staying up late reading that night.

He came into the room and locked the door behind
him. I yelled at him to get out and then he slapped me.

Every time I tried to yell, he hit me. He hadn’t got
ten very far when someone knocked on my door. He got off of me, and pulled his pants up then straightened his clothes. He answered the door like it was his house. My father stood on the other side of it.

He explained to my fat
her that we were just talking. My Dad was so high he could barely stand up straight. Dad laughed with him and they both went into the living room and started smoking pot.”

Alice grinned, “Now you killed him.”

I nodded my head with a small smile, “After sitting in my room and thinking about it… I had had enough. I sneaked into my Dads room. I knew where he kept the drugs. Knowing full-well what I was doing, I prepared a needle. The dose was three times what anyone should take. It would have killed a horse.

Later that night I went out into the living room. Dad had gone to
bed in his room. Chris was sleeping on the couch. I walked up and tied his arm with a rubber hose. My mother had taught me to help her shoot up, I knew how to do it. Chris had already taken too many drugs and alcohol to wake up. I stuck the needle into his vein and let him have it.

I watched him… I watched him
shake. I watched him foam at the mouth. I watched him die.

I went back to bed and waited. The next morning my father found him with a needle sticking out of his arm, dead. He called some
of his friends to move Chris to his own apartment before calling 911. Can’t have overdose calls at the drug dealer's own house. He was the first person I murdered.”

Alice shook her head, “
Murder, no. Killed, yes, he had it coming. Self defense if you ask me. It explains your inner strength and how you cope with killing so fast. You have been dealing with this shit for years. You are independent and self reliant. You will do well as a vampire.”

I smiled, “We both are
, we are sisters.”

美い

DEC 15, 1990

Eight months just flew by. David joined the local Necromancers so he could learn how to tap into his powers. While I was still training with Ezra and Charlotte. Alice too was also instructing me on how to fight, but mostly wanted to have tea parties. Still, me and Alice went hunting at least once a week, just two helpless little girls.

My power increased as well
. Me and David had continued hunting down The Order members. We went out at least once a week, sometimes more. The bodies were really piling up.

I was having terrible dreams
, reliving Aaron’s death. Ezra and Charlotte were not very helpful. Alice just said, “If you keep your eyes open I will give you something that will really keep you up every night.”

I tried to talk to David
, but he was always with the Necromancers, when he wasn’t hunting down The Order with me. I was finding my bed to be a lonely place. Finally, we had a night together and I told him about my nightmares. He said, "In war, not all soldiers were bad, but we had to destroy them to win." He said nothing to make me feel better or make the dreams stop.

Later,
when I told him I wasn’t in the mood to make love.  He told me that I needed to separate my feelings if I wanted my revenge. He kissed me on the forehead, "I don’t understand you Melabeth. Look, I need to go back to the temple. I'm working on a new spell. You'll be alright… you'll see, we're close to finding your killers."

He
left, and once again I was alone. I could go see Alice, but she would just want to have a tea party. She didn’t really care about my problems with David. Ezra and Charlotte were sent on a mission by Alice. Their flight had left this morning.

Frustrated
, I went to see Michael. He hadn’t really spoken to me since the death of Lizzie. It made me wonder, was he that mad that I got David’s family killed or was he in love with Lizzie? Gee, only I would get jealous of someone I indirectly killed.

When I knocked on his door it didn’t surprise me that Lea answered. As soon as she laid eyes upon me her eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”

“To kick your ass,” Keeping eye contact with her, I put one hand on the door so she couldn’t shut it.

Her attitude went from put off, to
scared, as she stammered out, “Why… what did I do?”

I pushed the door open as she stepped back into the room, then I smiled really big, “Just kidding… is Michael in?”

Her face went from scared to pissed off. “No, and he doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Michael ca
me into the living space from the adjoining room, “I’m here, what do you need Melabeth?”

I felt ashamed
, but I needed someone to talk to. I was hoping that Michael wouldn’t judge me too hard. “I need to talk.”

Lea spit out, “T
alk then.”

“
Privately
,” I responded, giving her a threatening look.

She snapped back, “Michael tells me everything, so you may as well talk in front of me.”

I felt myself losing my cool, “Then he can fill you in later. For now you need to take a walk sister.”

I
n a very commanding voice, “Lea, I am going out with Melabeth, and Melabeth, do not bully Lea.” I started to argue with Michael, but he cut me off. “I will meet you downstairs at the bar, near the front lobby.”

“Ok,” I answered Michael. I didn’t
even give Lea a backward glance as I shut the door. I could hear Lea whining at Michael. Why he ever put up with her is a mystery to me.

I hadn’t been at the bar long before Michael approached me. He gently t
ook me by the shoulder as he led me away from the bar stool I had been sitting upon. “Let’s go for a walk, it’s a beautiful night.”

“Ok,” I respond as I
let him lead me. How couldn’t I? He was dazzling tonight. He was wearing khaki slacks with a light blue colored shirt. And the way his clothes hung off him showed just enough of his curves to remind me of just how many he had.

As we worked our way through the casino
, we ran into a sizable crowd. It was one of those crowds where everyone was trying to move in different directions, all at the same time. I was pushed by some large man into a lady. The man was saying, "Sorry," but then again he could have been talking to half the crowd. Being large had its drawbacks, moving through a crowd was one of them.

The woman I ran into spun around, “
Watch where you're going klutz.”

The woma
n was a young looking blonde. She was about my height and build. It only took me a second after seeing her huge brown eyes to know that she was vampire. I spoke before I even thought about it, “I was watching, that’s why I ran into you. You were in my way.”

She had already been mad, bu
t now she looked furious. She was not alone. She was traveling with at least four more vampires. “Who do you think you are?” she practically spat it at me.

Michael grabbed my shoulders as
he wrapped his arm around me, “Not here Melabeth. Don’t start a fight.”

The girl took a step back. H
er face went from mad, to unsure. Her friends looked apprehensive. They all stepped aside and one of the male vampires said, “Please, we meant no harm… pass through.”

Michael pushed me through the gap
while adding an unnecessary, "Thank you." I said something along the lines of, “They should be thanking you… you just saved their asses.” I made sure I was loud enough for them to hear me.

As soon as we came out of the Casino
, Michael disapprovingly said, “Melabeth, you never know who you’re dealing with. Yes, you could of taken
those
vampires, but you’re not the most powerful vampire by far. Please be careful.”

“Why do you care?” I was full of anger and
I didn’t mean to direct it at Michael, but did.

Michael gave me a reassuring s
mile, “I will always care. The real question is… why don’t you care?”

Still soundin
g like a childish brat, “I care… why don’t you think I care?”

Mich
ael gave me a concerned look, “What’s going on? You wanted to talk. I can tell you're upset, so tell me what's bothering you.”

I didn’t answer him at first, we just walked for awhile. Michael walked quietly and didn’t say a word.
Then he broke the silence with, "I think I'm getting used to the black hair."

"What, you don’t like it?
" I quickly retorted.

He
only got a little defensive, "I didn’t say that. I thought you looked better as a blonde, but you’re still beautiful. You have always been beautiful."

The way he said
beautiful made my stomach twist. I wanted to be mad, but it was hard to stay mad at Michael, "Yeah right."

Michael put his arm around me. We came to a stop around a beautiful fountain in front of Caesars Palace. There
we stood, in front of a white statue of a woman's body with wings and no head.

Michael softly said, "Your temper scares me. I didn’t come here for a fight about your hair color. I came here to listen."

I was taken aback, "Why would I scare you?"

Michael’s vo
ice softly spoke into my ear, "You don’t scare me, your temper scares me. Did you see how those other vampire reacted when they heard your name?"

I was puzzled, "I did,
but why did they act in such a way?"

Michael
chuckled, "Why indeed? You and David have made a name for yourselves. Him, more than you. It's no secret that you do the killing. You're quick, powerful, fearless and care about no one. It scares people… and vampires. You work with a powerful necromancer, it makes vampires nervous."

I gave Michael a hard look.
I could feel my face tighten and my anger boiling, but I didn’t want to prove him right by losing my temper. "So… you don’t think I care about anyone?"

Michael answered softly, “If the shoe fits
…”

Ok
, I was mad. Pulling free from his arm, I vocalized my frustrations, “For someone who is afraid of my temper, you sure act like you would like to see it.”

Michael put his hands up like I was pointing a gun at him. His voice was still kind, “I am just stating the obvious, and it’s what makes you unstoppable. You have one goal, and no one to slow you down. Are you looking for love and relationships? From my point of view, you will not start your life until you end others.”

He was half right and I knew it, “I do care.” Great, now I felt like crying.

Mi
chael gave me a worried look, “Enough to put others before your revenge?”

What was he asking? I was almost shouting, “Should I allow those men to get away with rape and murder?”

Michael looked over at the fountain, then back at me, “I don’t have your answers, all I was saying was that at this point of your life others are not your concern. I’m sorry if I upset you… look let’s start this over. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you're heartless, you just have different priorities. You didn’t call me out here so I could tell you how you don’t care. What did you want to talk about?”

His tone and the way his eyes pleaded
for me to understand, it softened me, “Yes you’re right, I would rather talk about my hair.”

Michael’s body rel
axed and he laughed out loud, “Don’t kill me, but you’re still prettier as a blonde.”

I laughed as I lost eye contact with him and looked at the fountain. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Michael; except for the fact he was the sexist man on earth. In a much softer voice, “I will spare you this once.”

Michael once again moved closer to me, and then put his arm around my waist. I don’t know why he touched me, but I found it comforting and didn’t complain as I laid my head on his shoulder.

I watched the water fall from the fountain and tried to find peace in it. After a minute of silence, I broke the silence by blurting out, “I loved David, and I still love David. I don’t know how I feel about him
. I don’t know how he feels about me. I believe us to be lovers, but he makes me feel like his weapon. Something’s changed, I don’t know what. If I don’t know what has changed, how do I fix it?”

Michael looked thoughtful for a second, “I can’t say that I understand your relationship with him. Let us try to figure it out, together. How does that sound?”

I looked up at Michael and asked, “Where do I begin?”

A big goofy smile crossed
his face, “I have an idea. How about the beginning?”

“I can still hurt you,” I was smiling when I said it.

Michael changed the subject, “Have I ever told you about my tattoo?”

“No, what tattoo? I’ve never seen it.” I had seen Michael in a bathing suit befor
e, so I believe I had an idea where it might be.

Michael moved away from me, he then lifted his shirt showing me his back. There on his back was a large tattoo of many Celtic patterns. On the top of the tattoo
, the name McCloud was woven across his shoulder blades and between the patterns.

“McCloud
?” I wondered out loud.

“My name before I became a White,” Michael answered.

I traced my fingers around the tattoo, it was beautiful. I had no idea this much detail could be painted on to a human body. “When did you get this done?” I asked.

Michael lowered his shirt, grabbed my ha
nd and we started to walk. As we did, he talked. “This is the second time I have had this tattoo. Do you remember the story that Ezra told you when we first met? The tale of when I was caught on fire with tracer rounds and he saved my life.”

“Vaguely," I didn
’t remember the story in detail. "Where are you taking me?”

“To the tattoo parlor, there’s someone there I would like you to meet.” Michael answered me and then went on by saying, “Ezra had
explained tracer rounds to you. Remember how he told you that I had been hit and almost burned up before he put me out? He then killed the men who had shot me. What he hadn’t told you was that I had been burned from head to toe. My skin, eyes, everything, I was a complete mess.”

I
stated the obvious by saying, “That must have hurt?”

Michael went on, “O
nly for a minute, one of the great things about being a vampire. Our pain never goes on too long. If I were human, of course, I would have never survived. It had taken me two weeks to completely recover. Charlotte and Lea had taken care of me, but when all my skin grew back, my tattoos didn’t. That had happened about six months before you came to live with us.”

"I remember that story now.
That reminds me. I remember when I first came to live with the Whites. You were less than happy about it. I was remembering they said something about you going to school, here in Vegas. What school were they talking about? And are you going?”

Michael sm
iled at me as he answered me, “Yes, and you should be going too. It would be good for you to understand how to survive the decades.”