Authors: Kirby Elaine
“We’ve landed. Heading to Abi’s now. I’ll call you tonight when I settle in.” Krishna spoke loudly into my ear.
“I’ll grab your bag, Krish, go ahead.” An unfamiliar voice said in the background.
“Who was that?” I questioned my wife.
“Umm, that was Charlie.”
“Who the hell is Charlie?” I asked in the calmest voice I could muster.
“A friend.”
“A friend? Why the hell is he in Toronto with you?”
“He found Abi for me, he has been with me this entire journey to find my family. He wanted to see it through, I wanted him to be here.”
“Okay, Krishna. Whatever. I’ll talk to you later.” I said still managing to keep calm.
“I hear the attitude in your voice, Michael. I promise Charlie is just a friend.” She attempted to console me.
“Yeah, I get it.” I remarked.
“There’s really nothing to get. I’ll talk to you tonight, I love you.” I could hear her frustration through the phone.
“Okay, sounds good. Love you.” I ended the call.
Who the hell was Charlie and why was he so invested in my wife that he left the country with her to search for her family. I wasn’t sure but I couldn’t think about it at the moment. I was white in the face as I ended the call and finished packing our things. Everyone in the house was stricken with fear. Thirty minutes had passed since my stepmother, Patricia, had called with the news; my father had a stroke. The plane was booked and we were all headed to Texas to be with them. Though the diagnosis was grim, we were all pulling for our father and hated that all of his children were 1,700 miles away.
I packed the last of the kid’s things before I finally felt the gravity of the situation taking over me. My father was dying. I blinked back tears as I slid down the wall in the hall clutching Torrin’s stuffed rabbit. I hated my father so much sometimes but in the moment, knowing I may never get to talk to him again. I felt nothing but an unwavering love for the cheating bastard.
“Michael?” Alex saw me as she came up the stairs. I didn’t look up or respond. I was numb and Alex was the last person I wanted to be around. “Are you alright?” She knelt placing her hand on my knee. I looked at her hand and she quickly removed it and apologized.
“I’m fine.” I wiped the tears from my face and stood straightening my pants and shirt. “I’m good.” I grabbed her hand and helped her from the floor. “You guys should stay and enjoy the rest of the week.”
“No, it’s fine. We’re going to head home. That way we’ll be there to keep an eye on the company and the houses. I already let you’re security know that you may be extending vacation and to keep a tight eye on everything. I talked to Lisa and let her know that you would check in later in the week. She said that she can hold things down, go take care of your father and get back to her when you can.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” I wanted to hug the Alex that was my friend, the Alex that knew my father and enjoyed vacations with him and I eons ago. But instead I gave her a warm smile and picked up my kid’s bags and headed to load the car.
I wanted to call Krishna and tell her to meet me in Texas. I needed her but at the same time what she was doing, meeting her birth mother for the first time was so important to her. I promised myself I wouldn’t call her until I saw my father and could assess the situation myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my stepmother, I just wanted to see with my own eyes.
Michael Joseph Scott Sr. was as healthy as an ox. He wasn’t retired but he also didn’t run the day to day operations of any of the family companies. He made a living traveling the world with Patricia. Yet despite what I believed about my father’s health, I didn’t really know. He was as close to me emotionally as he was physically, 1,700 miles. And I never thought much of the fact that our relationship was less than perfect because he wasn’t close to either I or Liam and we hadn’t loss sleep over the fact.
I went back inside to find Liam comforting our sister in the living room. Of the three of us, it was fair to say that Dad and Leah had the closest relationship. She was the only one to return home after college and for many years she had a hand in the family businesses. For a long time, Liam and I refused to get involved with it. And she was the girl, his “princess”, she always had been.
“Mackenzie is getting the kids ready. The plane will be ready by the time we hit the airport. We’re going to have to take separate cars, I’ll make sure they’re brought back and make sure the house is secured. We have to get out of here.” My brother said before standing, leaving our sister clinging to a pillow. He pulled me aside.
“She’s breaking, Michael. If he doesn’t pull through, and God I pray he does, she won’t know what to do.” Liam said, his arm around my shoulder.
“Well we’re moving as fast as humanly possible. Why don’t you, Jayda and Eric take her ahead. Between Nathan, Mack and I, we can get the kids and be right behind you.”
“No way, that’s nine kids. Jayda and I will take the Navigator and take our kids, Leah and Eric. You guys handle the rest.” He went back to his twin’s side and I could hear him comforting her as I left the room and headed back up the stairs.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I scanned our bedroom for anything I may have left behind. Krishna.
“Hey, what’s up?” I tried to sound nonchalant.
“Michael. Jayda called me. Are you okay?”
“She can never keep her mouth closed about anything, I swear. I’m fine. We’re just packing up and about to head down there.” I sat on the edge of the bed catching my reflection in the mirror. The dark rings under my eyes were the least of it. My hair was frazzled and my face was still void of any color.
“I’m catching the first flight out. I have a layover in Chicago but I should make it there late tonight.”
“I don’t want to ruin your trip, Krish.”
“Are you insane? Amita will be here when I get back. I have to make sure that you are okay first. Nothing else matters but your father and the family right now. Abi said the door is always open here. It’ll be a few days at the most.” Her end of the line went silent and I checked my screen to be sure she was there.
“Thanks Krish, I love you.”
“I love you too, Michael. Next time something like this is happening, I don’t want to find out from my sister-in-law. I have to go. But I’ll see you soon.” She ended the call and I sat on the bed, my hands were shaking. It was really starting to hit me that my father could be dying. But instead of thinking about the what ifs, I unplugged my phone charger and headed back to the car.
The trip was meant to be the chance I had been waiting on for years. But my father-in-law was sick and I knew that Michael was handling the situation as best he could. His substance abuse issues didn’t come to mind until the woman across from me on the flight spilled two pills into her hand and swallowed them with her wine.
I knew that Michael had the will power to get through this but I didn’t know how his father was doing. If it were bad then Jayda and I would be picking up the pieces of two very broken men. Michael and Liam both dealt with the loss of their mothers as young teens and even as grown men I assumed that they’d handle the loss of their father much the same. Except now, addiction could creep in the first time Michael had trouble sleeping. And for Liam, his depression could rear its ugly head. I prayed neither would arise.
The plane touched down at the airport at nearly midnight. I grabbed my carry-on bag and my purse and exited as quickly as I could without stampeding the other passengers. I wanted to grab a cab and get to my husband and children as quickly as I could. But that plan was shot down with every cab being loaded and sent on its’ way. I ignored the heat of the Texas night and stood patiently in line as cabs came and went in quick succession.
“Mam, are you waiting on a cab?” A voice came from behind me. I was so thankful to hear his voice and to turn around and see a smile on my husband’s face.
I threw my arms around Michael and he pulled me in close. I had let go of my luggage and gripped my husband for dear life hoping to absorb his pain. He was smiling hard but I knew that he was hurting and it became evident when our joyful hug turned into him sobbing against my hair. I looked him in the eyes. They were dark and sad. He smiled again.
“Let’s go.” He said grabbing my bag from the ground and pulling me across the street. “I’m over in the lot. I had to grab the first spot I could to get you in time.”
“I appreciate it. I couldn’t wait to get there. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to make sure that you were okay. How is your father doing?”
“He’s in pretty bad shape.” Michael put my luggage in the back of the car and I waited for him to continue with the update. He opened the car door for me and I got in pulling in the length of my maxi dress and crossing my legs toward the driver’s seat. Michael followed. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
“Michael?”
“Yeah?” He responded numbly.
“Do you want to wait until we get to the house?”
“For?”
“For you to tell me what is going on with your father.” I barked but reached for his hand. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He huffed. “Want to go grab coffee?”
“Coffee? Michael.”
“Yeah. So we can talk.”
“I’d like that.” I took his hand in mine as he requested for the car’s navigation system to show him an all-night coffee shop.
When we sat down; him with a black coffee and me with a caramel macchiato, Michael sat his drink down and took mine from me and did the same. He took both my hands in his and before he could utter a word, tears were sliding down my face. I had finally taken a good look at the man in front of me; his face was pale and his eyes were a clear indication that he had spent most of the last day in tears.
“I don’t think he’s going to make it.” Michael licked his lips and bit the bottom one as if fighting back the urge to cry. I moved closer to him on the small couch.
“I’m sorry, Michael.” My hand rubbed his thigh as he pulled me against him, leaning back and taking a deep breath.
“We barely spoke, I hated him more often than not, and he raised me for less than half of my childhood. So why the hell does it hurt just as bad as the kid who lost his mother?” His head was back as he stared at the wood beam ceiling.
“He’s still your father. You know that he loves you and would do anything for you. And you know that losing him will be a loss not just for you but for your two best friends in the world. I can’t imagine what Leah is going through, she idolizes him.” I responded thinking of my sister-in-law.
“She’s torn up.” he brushed tears from his face. “She hasn’t left the hospital. Not that we’ve been here but a couple of hours. “But he isn’t awake and we don’t know if he will be. He doesn’t look like himself, Krish.” He paused but continued. “There are tubes everywhere and he’s on a ventilator. And Patricia, I can hear her heart breaking.” His last words came out in a screech as the damn broke.
All I could do was hold my husband. I knew his pain, I lost my father and my mother at the same time. There was no greater pain in my life than the day I woke up and realized that they were really gone. I pulled Michael’s head against my chest as I said a prayer for Michael Joseph. Eventually his body stilled against mine and he moved his head to my lap and looked up me.
“The first time he hugged me, the first time we met, he cried. I looked at that six foot tall man as he cried with joy at my presence. There was never a doubt in me that he loved me or my mother and you know how that made me feel? I hated him because I knew he loved me. He loved me but never sought me out, never wrote me, and never told his wife and kids I existed. I think that is what has me so fucking mad right now. It feels like I’m losing my mother all over again. That pain was unbearable. That woman put her all into me, she is the one who deserved my tears.”
“Michael, your father loves you as much as he loves Liam and Leah. He is your father and you are his son. No amount of distance can break the bond you two have. You shouldn’t feel like you can’t cry for him because he wasn’t there in the beginning. He loved you anyway. Think about it in that light. You weren’t even in his presence and he formed a love for you so strong that when you came into his life, he didn’t have to learn to love you. That is real love, Michael. And you love him in the same way. I know you do. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about that.”
“But I do. And then I feel guilty that I can’t sit in that hospital and watch him die.”
“He’s not the man you know right now. Your father is one of the brawniest men I have ever met.” I laughed.
“He’s a man’s man.” Michael added and laughed with me. “All Liam and I wanted growing up was to be as cool as our father, we wanted to go hunting on Saturdays and golfing on Sundays.”
“And you hate golfing and haunting, oh the irony.”
“Yeah but I think I got a little of his brawns.” Michael finally smiled.
“Definitely. I squeezed his bicep. And the brains and beauty too, Hun.”
“Are you having an affair?” Michael asked averting eye contact.
“Left field, Michael. And no, I would never do that to us.” I squeezed his hand. “You were gone for a long time, Michael, I met Charlie at a fund-raising event, we clicked. It’s just nice to have a friend on the outside of it all. You know? I need friends besides Jayda, Alex and Mack. Don’t get me wrong, I love them but they’re your people. I feel like they’ll always have your back before mine, and Alex, it’s not exactly fun taking advice from your ex.” I explained.
“You have me.” Michael said sitting up straight and looking into my eyes.
“Now I do. But you’ve been gone, Michael. Even before rehab you’ve been pretty checked out. I’m not replacing you in anyway. I promise Charlie is just a friend, you can meet him when things settle down.”