Military Romance Collection: Contemporary Soldier Alpha Male Romance (161 page)

Chapter 12

The ball did not thrill Cora as it seemed to most of the young ladies in attendance. Hattie was definitely the center of attention, and several of the eligible men fawned over her, though Charlie had dutifully said his hello and then stubbornly stayed away from her, doting on Cora for most of the evening. Still, she felt lonely, out of place.

For the others, this was a typical event, and she could see and hear the twittering of the younger girls who longed for their turn, knowing Hattie and the others had been just as anxious for years. But Cora had never looked forward to such opulence or so much attention, and she didn’t like the idea of taking her turn in a couple of months. She didn’t even greatly enjoy standing back and observing now.

She would much rather have been in her room, reading one of the books she’d managed to purchase and sneak past her mother, who thought books gave young women grand ideas that led them to disappointment in the reality of life. Cora knew books were not filled with truth, but that was the point. They were an escape, an opportunity to shift into a fantasy and out of the mundane.

“Can I get you another glass of champagne or punch?” Charlie asked, touching her arm to catch her attention.

Aside from Frances, he was the only person here offering her attention that wasn’t scathing. How many times had her mother already scolded her for not being more social? “Thank you, but no,” she told him with a genuine smile. “I think I might just step outside and get some fresh air.”

Charlie eyed her with concern. “Is everything alright, Cora? You seem a bit distant and displeased.”

Seeing her mother watching her carefully, Cora did her best to put on a show that wouldn’t have the older woman following her around and telling her how much she was embarrassing her family. She brushed her gloved hand down Charlie’s arm and gave him another broad, almost genuine smile. “I’m quite good, actually. I just tend to get a bit anxious around so many people.”

He nodded in understanding, looking relieved and pleased that she’d made a gesture of fondness toward him. “I’ll leave you, then, so you can settle your nerves. I’ll come check on you in a few minutes, if you don’t mind.”

She wanted to tell him no, but that wouldn’t do at all. “Thank you, Charlie. I tend to lose track of time. I appreciate your offer to retrieve me. I’m sure you’ll find me staring blankly into the night sky and have to draw me back to the reality of this festive occasion.” He kissed her hand as had become his habit over the past few weeks and released her, and Cora swiftly found the door to the garden. It was lit up as brilliantly as the interior, with lampposts and torches casting a pretty yellow glow over the flowers and greenery.

The water lilies floated on the small pond, and the sound of the music inside grew distant, replaced by the noises of outdoors. Frogs, cicadas, and the other creatures of nature that were the telltale signs of summer filled the air, and Cora closed her eyes, letting it wash over her. The scent in the air, too, caught her attention, and she looked around for the source.

The rose bushes were trimmed nicely, though not as perfectly as those in her own garden. She wished she hadn’t followed her nose, staring at the blooms and thinking of Joseph. He’d avoided her since their interlude, mostly, and she had regretted his seeing her with Charlie so soon afterward ever since. But what could she say? She was sorry that Charlie Cantrell was her parents’ choice for her?

It wasn’t as though Joseph had ever expressed interest in more than friendship anyway. Even that day in the garden, he’d had time to steal a kiss and had turned away instead, sending her back to her mother. Why should she feel guilty for entertaining the affections of another man?

And yet, she could not shake that overwhelming guilt. Joseph wouldn’t give her a chance to explain, had not offered her an explanation of his own, either. The wheels had been set in motion, even if it was against her will, and Cora knew it was only a matter of time before Charlie proposed and she was expected to welcome it, accepting with enthusiasm. But she could not do so until she had spoken to Joseph.

For a moment, she imagined telling him that she would rather be with him. He would take her in his arms, sweep her into a passionate kiss, and put her on the back of one of those horses he was caring for now. They would ride away together and find a place where no one would fault them for being in love, and they would grow old together with children and grandchildren surrounding them.

It was quite the fantasy, and Cora entertained the idea that, in some cases, her mother was right about books. Would she have dreamed up such a scenario without having read so many of them? It didn’t matter. It wouldn’t happen. But she had to force Joseph to speak to her, and there was only one way to do that.

“Cora?” Charlie’s voice was quiet, and Cora closed her eyes, resigned to the fact that she had to suffer through the madness of the debutante ball. And this wouldn’t be the last of them by far.

She turned and offered Charlie a sad smile. “You are definitely a man of your word.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Of course. If I wasn’t, how could I expect you to trust that I would make a faithful husband?” Cora shivered, the thought terrifying, but Charlie took it as excitement, his grin spreading wider on his lips as he held out his arm. She threaded her hand through his elbow and let him lead her back inside and to the dance floor, where at least concentrating on not stepping on his feet distracted her from her less appropriate thoughts.

Chapter 13

“Be home by dinner!”

Cora didn’t respond to her mother, instead rushing out the door before anyone noticed that she wasn’t laced as tightly as usual and hadn’t bothered with stockings. Even visiting Frances would require such proper attire, but Cora was not spending the afternoon with her friend as she’d told her mother.

She was going home.

At least, she was visiting a pair of friends close to the home where she had grown up, the shack that had felt familiar, full of everything she needed to survive. This house was much larger, new and not in disrepair, but it did not feel like home.

She didn’t reassure her mother because she didn’t know if she’d be back by dinner. She had a mission, and she refused to come back until she’d accomplished it, no matter how long it took.

She considered stopping by Frances’s house to remind her of their agreement last night at the end of the ball before they had gone home, but it was in the opposite direction, and she didn’t want to waste time. She trusted Frances and did not trust that her mother wouldn’t notice her running in the wrong direction if she made the extra trip.

So, she took the curve toward the poor side of town, going down Main Street past the market and all the businesses, out toward the ramshackle houses that were a comforting, familiar sight. She hadn’t been here once in the five years since she’d left, but nothing had really changed, and it still felt welcoming to Cora. She felt the weight lifted from her shoulders as she strode into the area and made a beeline straight for the old Watts cottage.

The front door stood wide open, barely hanging from its hinges, and she peered inside, calling, “Hello? Joseph? Grace?”

“Come in,” called a raspy, strained voice. Could that be Grace?

Stepping inside, Cora gasped at the sight of her old friend, frail and thin with a sickly gray pallor and sunken eyes. The only color to her was the flush of fever, and Cora fell to her knees beside the girl. “Grace! I had no idea you were ill!”

She took Grace’s hand in both of hers as the woman struggled to lift it weakly. Cora was careful, fearing too much pressure would shatter the birdlike bones inside. “I’m so glad you’ve come, Cora. I’ve missed you.” Grace’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she continued, “Do you think we could go for a swim? The water looks cool, and the peach trees smell lovely. Maybe you could pick a peach for me.”

Cora was confused, but then, she remembered hearing once that a high fever could cause people to hallucinate and dream up crazy ideas. “Grace, dear, we’re in the house. Are you hungry? Do you need something to drink?”

Grace’s head lolled back and forth as she tried to shake her head. “No, I’m quite good. Do you think you could fetch Joseph for me? I haven’t seen him in so long.”

“Where is he?” Cora asked. Had he left her like this? Was he staying somewhere else? Or was this another symptom of her fever?

“He’s out at the stables. He had several horses to shoe today.” She motioned vaguely with her free hand, and Cora hesitated. The stables on the Watts land had fallen down some ten years ago. But as she stepped through the back door, she could see brand new wood and a sturdy set of stables.

“I’ll be right back, Grace. You hang on.” She tore out of the house toward the stables, finding Joseph hanging up the tack and cleaning the area. He stopped and stared at her, as if he’d never expected to lay eyes on her again. She meant to tell him exactly what he could do with himself for leaving his sister in such a condition, but the look on his face told her she wore her fear in her own expression.

“What happened? Is Grace…” They ran together to the small house, finding Grace in a fitful sleep. “Here,” he said frantically, handing Cora a warm, wet rag. “Soak this with cool water, wring it out, and place it on her brow.” Cora didn’t hesitate to do as he asked, watching him as he lifted a cup to Grace’s lips and dripped more water down her chin than into her mouth.

“What’s wrong with her?” she whispered, seeing the anguish on his face. She wished she hadn’t asked instantly, knowing the answer would be devastating.

Speaking quietly as he stroked Grace’s cheek, he told her, “She had scarlet fever. She got better for a few days but never quite recovered. She was weak, the doctor said, and the pneumonia set into her lungs quickly. That left her more vulnerable, and her condition keeps getting worse. She didn’t respond to the medicine he brought last week, and he says there’s nothing more he can do. She either fights through it or doesn’t. And she won’t be the same if she lives. She’ll be frail, much more susceptible to any other illness she comes in contact with.”

Cora covered her mouth with her hands, forcing back a sob. This was what happened when one wasn’t allowed to keep in contact with old friends. If she had known sooner, perhaps she could have asked her father for help. “Joseph, if there are treatments, and you need money…”

He held up a hand to stop her. “It’s not money.” His voice was so low it was almost a growl. Grace had stilled, seeming a bit more at peace, and Joseph stood and stepped back. “She’ll sleep for a while now. Come with me.”

Almost having forgotten why she’d come, Cora hesitated for the space of a breath and then followed him outside.

Chapter 14

Joseph couldn’t look at Cora for a few minutes, overwhelmed with emotion. What he hadn’t spoken aloud was that the doctor had practically given Grace little time left, and even less chance of overcoming her ailments. The only relief he felt was in the doctor’s assurance that swifter action likely wouldn’t have helped, either. Something else had already weakened Grace, and she wouldn’t have benefited any further from earlier care.

When he finally pulled himself together enough to face her, he asked, “Why did you come here, Cora?”

She didn’t answer, and he glanced over to her, seeing her cheeks stained with fresh, glossy tears that still flowed quietly from her hypnotizing eyes. “You refuse to speak to me when we see each other, no matter where we are. I thought maybe you might feel more comfortable doing so here, in your home, where we all used to play together.”

“What is there to say, Cora?” he sighed. He wanted to take her in his arms, wipe her tears away, but that would only leave him wanting more, and he could never have that. “I’m working hard, trying to make something of myself, and I don’t have time for pleasantries.”

She winced, and Joseph regretted his harsh words as she hugged herself. It was hot outside, so she wasn’t cold, and he knew he’d made Cora feel small and hurt. “If that’s the case, I’ll just leave you to your work.”

She turned to leave, and Joseph watched her. He should let her go, he knew that. But he couldn’t stand to be the cause of the pain and discontent that everyone else seemed to put in her eyes He’d seen how Cora reacted to him, how the glow came back. That was who he wanted to be for her, even if it was only for a moment.

He lunged and grabbed her arm, stopping her and twirling her to face him. She glared at him, but her expression softened almost instantly. He took advantage of her complacence, tugging her close to him. He stared into her eyes, wishing he could see deep into her soul the way he used to imagine he could, and he traced his fingertips over her cheek. “Cora, please don’t cry.”

She gazed up at him with a plea in her eyes. “I’m lonely, Joseph. I have no one back there. I came because…I didn’t want to be alone.” She brought her gaze back toward his home. “Why didn’t you tell me Grace was sick?”

He shook his head. “It wouldn’t have mattered. You looked so sad already, and when we spoke, you brightened. You looked like the happy girl I called my best friend. I didn’t want to be like the rest of the people you see every day. I couldn’t cause you that pain and concern.”

Her face crumbled. “But you did, Joseph. When you started to ignore me and avoid me.”

That sank a knife into his heart, and he cradled her to his chest, letting her sob against it. “I’m sorry, Cora. I was trying to help you, not hurt you.” He didn’t want to cause her trouble, and he certainly didn’t want her to realize just how much he longed for her. Cora’s heart was too kind, and she cared too much about making others happy. She would be devastated to think she had disappointed him in any way. It was the same reason she didn’t argue with her mother in public.