Military Romance Collection: Contemporary Soldier Alpha Male Romance (165 page)

Chapter 25

It had been two months, and already Joseph had found success in stockpiling savings. He had hope for the future now, faith that he could make something of himself that would allow him to live without fear of not having enough.

Working with Roy Tilton had taught him quite a bit about business, and though he was an expert with horses and had immediately found a number of people in need of regular services, he had not been good with the financial aspect. Roy, an older man and a banker, had helped him organize his expenditures and his profits so that he quickly learned what he should charge for various services he provided.

It had changed everything for him, and now that he prospered, Joseph was still getting used to holding onto money. Coming from a place where every penny was spent before it was earned, it was like coming up for air after drowning his entire life.

But it didn’t bring him happiness. The excruciating loss of his sister still crippled him at times, and though the doctor had insisted they could not have stopped the progression of the illness with all the finances the world had to offer, Joseph still had to wonder. He had to consider that, if he had been able to provide for Grace in this way, he may have been able to save her. He missed her the way he would miss his own right hand were he to lop it off, and he would never be able to fill that void.

And worse, he couldn’t get thoughts of Cora out of his head. He pictured her as he’d seen her last, at the funeral, in that beautiful black dress that was so becoming of her. Cora was the vision of beauty no matter what she wore, but he’d never been so close to losing control as he had been at the sight of her that day.

Of course, she was a lost cause. He had told her to marry Charlie Cantrell, and knowing her mother, she’d probably pushed for the wedding to occur the moment Joseph had left town. Cora Cantrell had a nice ring to it, he supposed, but he hated that. She was the only thing he’d ever wanted in his life, aside from bettering himself, and he’d pushed her away when she’d offered herself to him. It was best for her, Joseph had told himself. But in these selfish moments when he longed for his own happiness, he asked himself why he never considered his own needs and desires.

“Joseph Watts, imagine finding you here.” Joseph winced, wishing he had just bought the leather strap he needed and left rather than lingering in the shop. Danielle Barstow was only one of many young women vying for his attention in this town. Apparently, being a thriving businessman, even if not rich, made him a coveted bachelor among the middle-class. Danielle was simply the most brazen of them and pursued him as if it was normal for young ladies to court young men and not the other way around.

He touched the brim of his bowler hat but didn’t tip it to her. “Good afternoon, Miss Barstow. How are you?”

In her thick, country drawl, she said, “I was good, but now I’m better.” She looked him up and down like he was some tasty morsel. “I’m glad I found you. I think Buster needs a new shoe for his back left hoof. Could you come by this afternoon?”

She batted her lashes, but Joseph ignored it. “I just shod him a week ago, Miss Barstow. I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Then perhaps you’ll allow me to entertain you with a ride,” she tried.

Danielle was pretty enough, with thick, unruly blond hair, hazel eyes, a tiny waist and swollen bosom. But she paled in comparison to Cora, who was the standard for his assessment of all women. He couldn’t find interest in any of the young ladies who encouraged and fought for his attention.

Trying to be polite, since he needed Mr. Barstow’s business, Joseph smiled and said, “Regrettably, I have another appointment this afternoon and only stopped in for something I needed. Good day, Miss Barstow.” He touched his hat again and walked past her without a glance backward. It was nice to be noticed, he supposed, or even to be an object of desire. Still, Joseph was focused on one goal, and that was to build a successful business. He was well on his way to meeting that goal, and to get distracted now would be devastating to his progress.

And if he was honest, he still held the flame within him that burned for Cora. He didn’t know if it would ever die or even wane, but at the moment, he couldn’t betray his loyalty to her. He wanted no one else, and if he could not have Cora, he was quite content to remain unattached. People would talk, and it would likely be a lonely life, but it was better than a union of misery or convenience.

Strolling down the lane toward the outskirts of town where he had his stables, Joseph smiled, feeling the dimple in his cheek and knowing that, wherever Cora was, she still thought of him. Maybe it was childish, but he would hold onto that one shred of joy until the day that dimple failed to appear when he smiled.

Chapter 26

“I cannot fight her any longer, Cora,” her father apologized. “I have sided with you as long as I could, but she has made the plans and sent the invitations already. Tell me why you are so troubled about this union. Has Charlie done something to frighten you?”

Cora shook her head, devastated. It had been eight months now with no word from Joseph, and she had lost hope. She had continued to fight her mother’s insistence that she run to the altar, but even her father had his fill. “Charlie has been nothing but kind and patient. He is a good man.” She could hear the lack of emotion in her voice, the resignation to her future. “He has not said or done anything…untoward.”

“Then marry him, sweetheart. I promise you, if he ever changes and does anything that hurts you, or upsets you, I will have his hide.” Her father chucked her chin, and she glanced up at him to find a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Do you remember the shotgun we had by the door long ago?” Cora remembered. Her father used to tell her as a child it was to protect her from anyone that might hurt her or her mother. He grinned. “Best not to tell your mother, but some things never change. I still have it, and I am not afraid to use it.” He kissed the top of her head and told her to go outside for some air.

She wanted to lean her head against his chest as she used to for comfort, but he had business to tend, and if her mother walked in, she would find it horrifying. Instead, Cora meandered out the door and around to the rose garden, which had suffered greatly in the cooler weather without Joseph’s careful attention. She fingered a petal, finding it rough and withered rather than soft and velvety. She felt the same effect on her soul and longed to go back in time and change everything.

Footsteps behind her alerted her to someone approaching, and she turned to find Charlie there. “Am I intruding on a reflective moment?” he teased.

Cora smiled sadly at him. Charlie was just a victim of her circumstances, and she had grown to like him over time…as a friend. If she could retain that level of intimacy, she would be pleased to have him around. “I am forever introspective these days, Charlie. How are you this afternoon?”

“I am well.” But he looked troubled. “May I speak plainly?”

“Of course,” Cora told him, continuing her stroll with the clear invite to follow. “What plagues you today?”

He didn’t speak at first, and then the words seemed to tumble out, stopping Cora in her tracks. “I’m concerned that you aren’t happy with our arrangement.” She looked up at him in shock as he continued, “I know you are not in love with me, and I can accept that. I never expected to fall in love with you as I have, either. But I believe we could be quite happy together, you and I. I don’t ask for you to profess your love to me now, only to give me a chance to prove that I am worthy of it. I want to marry you in two weeks, as your mother has planned, and I would like to think that you would try to love me, in some way.”

Cora opened her mouth, but Charlie held up a hand, and she pressed her lips together. “Please, don’t say anything now. Just think about it, please. I would be honored to have you as my wife either way, but I want to make you a happy woman, Cora. A happy wife and mother.” He took his top hat in his hand and bowed low, tipping it fully in a very formal manner. When he straightened, he said, “I bid you good day, Cora, and I hope you can find it in your heart to think it over.”

He was gone before Cora found her voice, and her heart sank. Try as she might, she knew she would never succeed in loving Charlie, and it wasn’t fair to him. But what else was there for her? Could she pretend to love someone? It would never be possible to create a convincing charade of her feelings for Joseph with another man. But perhaps she could play at it.

There were too many things to sort out, and Cora felt the world caving in on her. With no one else to turn to, she strode purposefully down the lane to Frances’s house, locking herself in her friend’s room to tell her everything. She hadn’t shared the details of her intimate interludes with Joseph before, and now, Frances understood her plight.

“I told you once, Cora, to follow your heart. I can’t make this decision for you, but I know that, if I was in your shoes, I might not follow the rules, either. We come from a different place than these others, and we have values that don’t coincide with theirs.” Frances took a deep breath. “I know what we’re going to do, you and I.” She stood and drew Cora to her feet. “My family’s old home still stands. We’re going to tell your mother and father that you need to spend a few days gathering yourself, that you are simply overwhelmed by the planning and fussing and need some quiet time. They’ll think we’ve gone to a hotel or something, but we’ll stay in the old house. You’ll have me as a companion and all the silence and space you need to decide what you should do.”

“I don’t even know where Joseph is,” Cora whispered. But at least a few days or a week away meant not having her mother press her for involvement in the details, and she would not have to see Charlie and have him read her like an open book. “All right,” she agreed. “I think it might help if I could go somewhere without outside influences so I stop thinking about everyone else’s feelings long enough to understand my own.”

Chapter 27

Joseph was not enjoying his beer. He’d been nursing it for quite some time as he sat in the pub with Roy, and it was only half gone. “Something is on your mind, son. That scowl could chase away the devil.”

Roy’s words made Joseph chuckle, though he didn’t feel mirthful in the least. “It’s nothing. I thought for sure by now I would have enough savings to buy a large piece of land and hire help.”

“Have you been saving your money, boy?” Roy asked, chewing on the end of a cigar he had yet to light.

“Every penny I can scrape together,” Joseph assured him. “The stockpile is growing, but it’s slow.”

Roy eyed him carefully, and Joseph felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. The older man read people far too well, and he knew he wouldn’t like what his mentor said next. “There’s more to it than that, young man. I can only help you if you tell me what’s bugging you.”

Joseph considered it for a moment. He didn’t know how to voice it, since he’d never spoken of it to anyone but Grace. And then, she had done most of the talking. Sitting up straighter, he twirled the glass of dark brew on the table. “I came here with a goal of improving my status, and I’ve done that. Beyond that, I wanted to prove myself worthy of something. But the thing I wanted most is beyond my reach, and I don’t have much reason to keep striving for something more. I feel like giving up, or at least settling for what I have. At least I will never have to worry about paying my bills again.”

Roy nodded but narrowed his eyes, still considering him carefully. “A woman. It’s always a woman.”

“Why do you say that?” Joseph asked, a little too quickly.

“Because it’s true. Are you going to argue that something else drove you to this point?” Joseph said nothing, and Roy smiled bitterly. “I can read it all over your face, son. I don’t know the circumstances of it all, but I know you’re pining away for some young lady you left behind.”

Joseph shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll never have her. She’s engaged to someone else, someone wealthy. A man who has a status equal to hers. They’ve probably married by now.”

“Do you know that for a fact?” Joseph scowled at him. “That’s what I thought. You haven’t left this town since you arrived, so unless you got a letter from someone telling you she’s married, you have no idea what could have happened in the last few months. Did she love you?”

Would it be fair to answer that question? Cora had never said as much, but he felt it in his gut. “I thought so, but she deserves better.”

“Who are you to judge what’s best for anyone else?” Roy challenged. “You and I know what is best for us, Joseph, and no one else can tell us any different. And you can’t know what is best for someone else. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but everyone comes to that conclusion eventually. If this girl loves you, maybe you are what’s best for her. And if you love her, then you deserve to be with her.” He sat up and smacked a hand on the wood table between them. “You can’t just sit back and let someone else take your happiness. You have to fight for what you want, son. It’s how we earn the respect of others.”

Joseph spread his hands, feeling helpless. “What am I to do if she’s already married?”

“You can face that when and if the time comes. But you need to know first if that’s true.” Roy took the cigar from his mouth, and met Joseph’s gaze with an intense one of his own. “Take it from someone with experience. I loved a woman, and I let her go. By the time I realized my mistake, she was set to marry someone else, but I didn’t let it stop me. I went after her and found that the man she was marrying hit her. She ran into my arms, and I held her until the day she died, God rest her soul. What makes you think she won’t choose you?”

Joseph thought about that. “I told her to choose him.”

“Well, go back and tell her you were wrong.”

It sounded like a fantasy, and Joseph wondered if it was too late for that. Cora probably hated him for walking away, for not even sending her a letter telling her he was sorry for the way he’d left things. Could he really hope to persuade her to choose him over Charlie Cantrell, a man with everything?

And more importantly, would her family allow her to make that decision, if she had not already sworn herself to the wealthy suitor?

“I see the gears turning in your head and the steam coming out your ears,” Roy chuckled. “I have one question for you. If you try, and it doesn’t work, do you lose anything? Wouldn’t you rather know for sure than sit here with an ugly old man and wonder what might have happened if you had chased after this young lady?”

He had a point. Joseph wasn’t convinced, but now, he thought about the possibilities. He could go, speak to Cora, or at least find out her situation. If she wasn’t yet married, maybe there was still a chance he could be with her. He had a little money now. They wouldn’t be destitute. But would that be good enough for Cora’s parents?

“Get out of here,” Roy told him, sticking the cigar back in his mouth. “Go home, think it over. This isn’t the place to think and make that kind of decision. But if you go, leave me a note, will you? I can handle the business until I hear from you.”

Nodding and throwing some coins on the table to cover both their drinks, Joseph stood and left without another word. Roy had a way about him, and Joseph respected it. When he told anyone what to do, you just didn’t argue.