Military Romance Collection: Contemporary Soldier Alpha Male Romance (164 page)

Chapter 22

Frances had come over before lunch, and Cora sat in her room, on her bed, divulging all her pain and sorrow and longing for nearly an hour. “Cora, why have you agreed to this marriage if you’re that devastated by it? Your father doesn’t want you to be unhappy.”

“I don’t think he understands the gravity of it for me,” she said. Scowling, she added, “And my mother sees only opportunity to better herself. She would never speak to me again if I were to turn down the proposal.”

Frances frowned. “I understand you wish to make your parents happy, but you cannot be responsible for everyone’s joy in life, only for your own. If your heart wants something, you should follow it.Your heart only speaks when it is absolutely necessary.”

Cora wished it was that easy. She opened her mouth to respond, but there was a knock at her door, and Edith opened it without waiting for a response. Her face was a mask of concern, and Cora instantly thought something had happened to her parents.

“Miss Cora, I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” She twisted her hands violently, looking behind her. Quickly, she stepped inside and closed the door, speaking more quietly. “I know you have a fondness for Mr. Joseph, and I should not have been eavesdropping, but I couldn’t help overhearing that his sister has passed away.”

“No!” Cora cried, covering her mouth. It wasn’t possible! No matter how terrible the girl had looked when Cora saw her or how ill Joseph had said she was, Cora couldn’t accept that she was gone. Fighting for composure, she asked in a choked voice, “Is Joseph still here?”

“If you hurry, you might catch him down the road. I believe he only just stepped away.”

Cora was off the bed and out of her room, flying down the steps and to the street with Frances at her heels, both of them picking up their skirts and ignoring the restrictive material. It could tear to shreds for all Cora cared. She wouldn’t notice if she was bared to the world right now. She only had one thought in mind, and that was to catch up to Joseph.

She saw him turning down the dirt road toward home, his head hung low, and she called out to him. “Joseph! Wait!” She picked up speed somehow, and though he didn’t stop, he slowed, and she caught up to him, just out of sight of her house. Frances had not followed her this far, and as she gasped for a breath, she understood her friend’s decision. Without hesitation, she threw her arms around Joseph. “I’m so sorry! Oh, Joseph, I’m so sorry!” she wailed.

He held her against him, and she could feel his grief in the desperation of his tight embrace. “Cora, she’s gone. I can’t believe it.” His voice was barely a whisper, but his mouth by her ear made his breath tickle over her skin, and she shivered with pleasure, despite the despondency of the situation.

“When is she…” Cora pulled back, finding it hard to speak and having to clear her throat. But he didn’t quite release her, and she welcomed his supportive arms. “When is the funeral?”

“There wouldn’t be one without your father’s kind offer to assist with the burial and expenses.” His voice cracked, and Cora’s heart went with it. “Two days. She’ll be buried in two days.”

“I will be there.” She stated it firmly. Her mother would fight it, but she would turn to her father and play them against each other if she must.

“Cora, I don’t know what to do,” he said, his voice pitched high and his face filled with hopelessness. “I’m alone now.”

She pressed her hands to his cheeks, forcing him to make eye contact, and she told him, “You don’t have to be alone, Joseph. I’m right here, and that’s exactly where I want to be.”

He didn’t look convinced. “You can’t. You have a life, a fiancé…”

She shook her head. “Joseph, I don’t care. You are the most important thing to me.”

She didn’t know how else to convince him, what else to say, but as he stared at her, the warmth of his body seeping into hers deliciously, she felt the tension build between them. And when he dipped his head and took her mouth this time, she was ready. She opened instantly, and his tongue found its way between her lips. It was scintillating, and she sighed, welcoming all of him as he pulled her tighter, one hand splayed on her back and the other fisted in her hair, which she’d forgotten still hung loose.

She threaded her fingers around the back of his head and into the hair curling at the nape of his neck, the silky strands tickling her hands. Her pulse quickened, and something low in her belly churned, liquid with the heat coursing through her. She felt as if they were being carried off by a swirling wind that washed away everyone and everything around them, leaving them in their own private heaven.

It was Joseph who broke the kiss, this time slowly, still clinging to her like a child to his favorite blanket. They both panted, needing to fill their lungs, and Cora stared at him, waiting for his response. All she saw was wonder, surprise, but not delight.

Joseph let go of her hair, palming her cheek, and she leaned into it, closing her eyes as he caressed her lips with his thumb. “God, but you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

She turned her face to kiss his palm, and with obvious reluctance, he released her. “Go home now, Cora. I will see you in two days, at the funeral. Two in the afternoon, at the Lutheran church.” He placed a chaste kiss on her brow and walked away, head hanging again.

Cora couldn’t move. Her feet were glued in place, and she watched him for a long time before she found the will to walk away. Her emotions were tumultuous, and she didn’t know if she could sort through them now. Instead, she simply let Frances catch her in an embrace and comfort her.

Chapter 23

“You will not step foot inside that church!”

Cora glared at her mother as the older woman wailed and threw a tantrum, but she would not budge. “Mother, you can disown me if you like. In fact, do that. Change the locks. Don’t let me in if I bother to return at all. Grace and Joseph were my first and oldest friends, and when someone you care about dies, religion no longer matters. And neither does money and class.”

“Are you defying me?” her mother asked, incredulous.

Gesturing to the black dress and veiled hat she wore in mourning, Cora asked, “Have you ever seen me dressed like this before? I told you, I am going to this funeral.” She screwed up her nerve and squared her shoulders, adding, “Consequences be damned.”

She could tell her mother was offended, and that pleased Cora. How many times had her mother offended her lately? Calming but fuming, her mother spoke in a clipped voice. “Fine. Go to the funeral. Give your condolences and come straight home. We have an engagement party and a wedding to plan.”

Cora ignored that. She had no intention of marrying Charlie and was going to delay all of it as long as she could, hoping that Joseph would profess his love for her and sweep her off her feet. It was a fairytale story, but she could imagine at least something similar. She stormed out of the house and hurried down the street, passing the Episcopalian church she’d been forced to attend since moving here and down to the Lutheran church.

Grace had been a teacher and a respected woman, and the turnout to grieve was enormous. Cora was not the only member of Society to attend, either, and she felt smug in being able to tell her mother how wrong it was to draw those lines.

The service was beautiful. Cora sat with Frances – and her mother – and enjoyed the peaceful sermon and the fond memories. She listened to Joseph’s eulogy for his sister and cried, swiping at her tears with the handkerchief she’d thankfully remembered to bring, and when it was time to exit and proceed to the cemetery, she marched with her head down among the closest of Grace’s friends.

Not caring how long she was gone, Cora waited until most of the mourners had left. Frances stayed with her, knowing her intentions, and didn’t excuse herself until the last few stragglers were walking away. Joseph still stood by the gravesite, his head down. He wore a new suit rather than his shabby daily garbs, and he looked more handsome than ever, though Cora quite liked how his strong features stood out when he was less well dressed.

She approached him quietly, tentatively, not wanting to disturb him, but he held out a hand to her. She took it and let him draw her to his side, their fingers intertwined. She wanted to draw his pain away, carry it for him. “She would be pleased,” he said with a sniffle. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, but he wasn’t crying. “She would have liked to see how many people truly cared about her, and she would have been proud to have you here.”

Cora took a shuddering breath. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I told you I would be here, not just for Grace, but for you, Joseph.”

He nodded and finally raised his head, his eyes capturing hers with such intensity it sent a bolt of heat through her. “I appreciate that more than you will ever know.” Joseph looked down at their hands together and then back up at her. “I’m leaving town, Cora.”

She blinked at him, not sure she had heard correctly. “What?”

“I’m leaving town. I have an opportunity to grow my farrier business threefold. I have to take it.” His expression turned grim. “There is nothing to keep me here any longer.”

What about me?
The voice inside filled with panic, but logic came swiftly. “Take me with you.”

“Cora, you know I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” She took his other hand and squeezed them both, pleading with him. “I don’t want the life I’m forced to live now, Joseph. I was so much happier in the pitiful house that felt like home, with real friends who cared about me and wanted to spend time with me.”

He brushed a hand over the tendrils of hair that had strayed from the pins. “You will find happiness again, Cora. We both need to move on and do what is best for us.” She started to reply, but his lips came down on hers with bruising force, for one brief, exhilarating moment. Then, he pulled away, breaking all physical contact.

With a sad, crooked smile, he told her, “Now, I’ve left an imprint on you to match yours on my cheek. Never forget that, Cora.” It was a clear dismissal, but as he walked away, she refused to say goodbye. The pain was already more than she could bear, and if she spoke the word, she might collapse from it. She touched her lips, still feeling his on them, and wished she could change her destiny.

She stood there long after Joseph disappeared beyond the horizon, losing track of time, and when she finally got home, she walked straight past her raging mother and locked herself in her room to cry with the agony of losing two of the most important people in her life.

Chapter 24

For days, Cora emerged only for meals and church, and her mother finally caught her by the arm after lunch, not allowing her to walk away. “You have had more than enough time to grieve over that woman,” she sneered. “It is time to look to the future and your marriage.”

Cora shook her head, not even finding the strength to glare. She had barely eaten at any meal, her appetite having fled with Joseph when he walked away. “I am not ready to marry yet, Mother. I need time.”

“You have had long enough. The sooner you are wed, the better,” she stated with finality.

“Why is that, Mother? Do you fear Charlie will suddenly decide I’m not worthy? Or perhaps you simply can’t wash your hands of me fast enough.” She was gouging at her mother with every bit of spite she could muster, and she didn’t care how much it hurt. She wanted someone else to share her pain, and since her mother caused so much of it, she made the perfect companion in misery.

“With that sore attitude, perhaps I do want to be rid of you,” she spat. “I hope Charlie has the patience of a saint. It’s going to take more will than I have to straighten you out.”

Cora stared at her mother, stunned. “When did you become so hateful? We might never have been close, but you used to have at least a small amount of compassion.”

“I…” Her mother stopped speaking as Cora’s father walked into the room, and he stared back and forth between them.

“What is going on here?” he asked.

“Your daughter believes she has a choice of when she will say her wedding vows,” her mother spat haughtily.

As her father turned to her with a question in his eyes, Cora said, “I’m not ready yet, Father. I have just lost a very dear friend, one from my childhood, and I still have time. I would merely like a few months to prepare myself. Everything with Charlie has happened quite fast, and I simply ask for a little time to adjust.”

Her father smiled, came over, and cupped her cheek. Turning to her mother, he said, “I see no harm in that. She still has plenty of time. She just turned eighteen and won’t be a late bloomer if she is married within the year.”

Her mother sputtered, but relief flooded Cora. She had known her father would take her side, and now, she pushed up on her toes, thanked him, and hurried to her room before her parents began to argue. Edith was there, preparing her clothes for dinner in the evening. Cora leaned against the wall and covered her face. She’d forgotten Charlie would be joining them.

“I know you asked before, and I gave you the only advice I had,” Edith said quietly as she worked, “but I think it might be helpful for you to hear my story.”

Cora tilted her head with a questioning frown. “What story?”

Edith patted a clear corner of the bed. “Have a seat.” Cora did and waited, watching the shadows of pain and regret pass over her face. At long last, she said, “I had an opportunity to marry a fairly well to do businessman when I was your age, Miss Cora. I was not poor, but I didn’t come from wealth. I was a starry-eyed youth, and I fell in love with the son of a farmer. They had little in the way of assets, but my Duke was so handsome and so kind and gentle, I couldn’t imagine life without him.”

She began to sort through the bag of feathers and clips and other trinkets and continued, “So, I refused to marry Laurent, the businessman, and chose Duke. We barely had a roof over our heads, and our children suffered through several freezing winters in a drafty, poorly built house. And then Duke caught a fever, and the pneumonia took him from me. I lost everything, unable to provide for my family. I was lucky enough that my children were mostly grown by then, and off on their own. But that is how I became a maid.”

She sighed and finally looked at Cora. “Laurent and his wife live in a house much like this one. Their children have all inherited their own large bank accounts and have children of their own. Two of my six children have passed from this world now, and I have nothing to show for a life of hard work.”

Putting down the adornments, she reached out and grasped both of Cora’s hands. “I beg you, Miss Cora, do not make the mistake I made. Love is a beautiful thing, but the idea that it brings happiness is a fantasy. True happiness comes with security; with a future you can count on. Forget Mr. Joseph, child, and put all your effort into making your peace with being a wife to Mr. Cantrell. He will be a wonderful husband for you, and you will be happier.”

The story was wretched and broke Cora’s heart. But she didn’t believe love was such a lost cause. She thought of her parents and knew that, whether she admitted it or not, her mother had been much happier before they’d come into money. Her father had loved his wife, and she had adored her husband. Now, they no longer looked at each other with that sparkle in their eyes.

Cora could not resolve herself to the belief that money bought happiness, just as she could not identify with the need to attend a certain church or dress a certain way or ignore a lower class, simply because she had money. “I appreciate you sharing that, and I am so sorry for your losses. But it is not my story, and I cannot forget Joseph. I may be forced to take my vows at the altar with Charlie Cantrell, but my heart belongs to someone else, and that will never change.”

Edith bowed her head. “I was afraid of that.” She walked away, leaving the room, and Cora stared after her, wishing she could comfort the older woman. But she would not be swayed. She was loyal to herself and to those she loved, and Joseph was at the very top of that list.