Military Romance Collection: Contemporary Soldier Alpha Male Romance (163 page)

Chapter 19

Cora sat at the table with her hands trembling and her heart sinking. To her right sat her mother, with her father at her mother’s side, and to her left was Charlie, sitting too close for her comfort. At Charlie’s left was his father, and then his mother.  His aunt, uncle, and cousin rounded out the dinner party.

She didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to face the moment she knew was coming. The only thing Cora could be grateful for was that this was a private setting and not a public one. If she got too flustered and acted like a blithering idiot, only a small group of people would witness it and not the entire township.

And Joseph had left hours ago.

Several times, she glanced at the door, hoping that some miracle would occur and he would burst in, demanding that she leave with him. But she knew better, and she had resigned herself to her fate. When she’d spoken to Frances weeks ago, the only friend who ever supported her had suggested that she pretend to faint upon hearing the proposal. Everyone but her mother was sure to think she was overcome with joy, and then she would not need to officially say “yes”.

“And what if I’m asked to reply once I am supposedly awakened?” Cora asked. “Besides, isn’t leading everyone to believe it is an acceptance still placing me in Charlie’s arms rather than Joseph’s?”

“Temporarily, perhaps, but you can still tell Joseph that you never accepted the proposal. That will be the truth, and that’s what matters.”

Cora had liked the idea, but it was too late now. Joseph still wasn’t speaking to her, save for the formal address of a worker to the daughter of his employer. She had hoped he knew about the dinner party tonight and would realize what it entailed. Maybe then, he would at least stop and talk to her. But he hadn’t. In fact, she had missed him leaving, still in the midst of dressing and primping for the occasion.

An occasion she felt no desire to celebrate.

She should have told Joseph she loved him. She’d never spoken the words. Would it have made a difference? She would never know, and she couldn’t dwell on it now as Charlie stood and held up his wine glass. “I would like to propose a toast. First, in gratitude to the Ashtons for inviting us so generously into their home to have a meal with them. And second, to hope and new beginnings.”

Cora lifted her glass, blending in, though she did not chorus the festive response. She set her glass down without taking a drink, and Charlie continued, “As you well know, Cora Ashton has been gracious to accept my courtship over these last weeks, with the blessing of her parents. I am quite taken with her, not just for her beauty but for her bright spirit, her intelligence, and her gentle kindness. I think all would agree that she is flawless in every way, and I’m sure that any other young man who met her would want to spend time with her as much as I do.”

He paused, gazing down at Cora who met his eyes with pure terror in her heart. This couldn’t be happening, not now. But he took her hand and drew her to her feet, took one knee, and smiled up at her. “Cora Ashton, you are everything a man could want in life, and I wish to call you mine. I refuse to simply stand by and wait for some other man to try and catch your attention when I feel we have such a wonderful connection. Miss Cora, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife in holy matrimony?”

For a moment, Cora didn’t think she was going to have to fake anything. She felt weak, nauseated, and dizzy. She was going to swoon at any moment. She clutched at the side of the table or the back of the chair but missed both, and Charlie was on his feet, catching her and helping her into her chair. “Are you all right?” he whispered so quietly in her ear she knew no one else could hear.

She managed a small smile of gratitude. “I’ll be all right. I merely stood too quickly, and this dress is laced too tightly. I couldn’t get a breath.”

Charlie nodded and stood, still holding her hand in his. “She’s said yes!” he announced.

Cora would have jumped to her feet in indignation at his blatant lie, but the room swirled and tilted like a boat at sea, and she recognized the damage her denial would do somewhere in the back of her mind. Embarrassing herself and Charlie, devastating and angering her parents. None of it was worth arguing. In a way, as Frances had suggested, she’d skirted the issue of actually accepting the proposal, so she still had that, she supposed.

But in the eyes of the reveling family celebrating around her, it was as good as if she had shouted it from the rooftop to everyone in town, from the top of the hill to the bottom. Including Joseph.

Her throat felt swollen, and her eyes burned, but Cora managed to recover enough to fake a smile and a few ‘thank you’ moments for the rest of the evening. But it was no lie when she excused herself early, claiming exhaustion. She was absolutely ready to crawl in her bed and sleep, today having been one of the most trying of her entire life.

She felt like an incomplete shell, her spirit and hope vacating her with the same swiftness Edith managed in helping her to change into her nightgown and remove all the pins from her hair. “All will be well in time, child,” Edith told her as she moped. “You will see this was the right thing to do. Maybe not today, but eventually, you’ll understand.”

Cora hoped so because, from her current perspective, she had just sentenced herself to a life of regret.

Chapter 20

As Cora followed her mother through the garden, she tuned out the discussion between the two older women. Mother had enlisted the help of Lillian’s mother to choose the flowers that would serve as part of the decoration for Cora’s coming out party, since she felt the woman wouldn’t be biased. After all, Lillian was the last of her three daughters and was already engaged.

Cora was still of the opinion that, since she was already being forced into a marriage she did not want, there was no purpose for this farce of a celebration. She had no interest in the spotlight cast on her, considering that so few of her supposed friends even bothered with her, except to moon over Charlie and be jealous. The formality of it would force them to pay her attention when they would rather be off in their own little circle.

And it wasn’t like she would be meeting all the eligible bachelors with any intent. She was spoken for, as much as she hated it. She wished she could be out wandering the woods rather than listening to discussions about how red roses and orange chrysanthemums would not mix well. In fact, Cora had the impression that, if she were to sit down in the middle of the maze of roses, her mother and Mrs. Caldwell would wander off and never notice.

She fell behind, running her fingers over the leaves and smooth petals of the flowers, frowning as she noticed several ladybugs on the stems. She leaned over, bending awkwardly in her stiff dress, and got closer, wondering what exactly the life of such a tiny creature was like. Was it boring, eating leaves all day? Or was there some excitement in finding a particularly scrumptious plant or perhaps trying to balance on a trembling leaf in a breeze?

“They serve a purpose, you know.” The whisper in her ear made Cora straighten quickly, jumping with a slight squeal, and she collided with something hard behind her. Hearing a hiss of breath, she whirled and covered her face as Joseph rubbed his chin.

“I’m so sorry!” she cried, then looked to make sure her mother hadn’t heard or noticed her absence. Ducking as quickly as she could, she reached out and tugged on the leg of Joseph’s trousers, urging him to join her. He crouched with an amused expression. “Don’t laugh!” she hissed. “Mother is on a mission.”

“So I can hear,” Joseph told her, finally cracking a small smile. It was the first she’d seen that warm expression in months now. It made her heart swell, and she wanted to touch his cheek, if only to commit every detail of him to memory. But she clenched her fists in front of her. Joseph continued, “I owe you an apology.”

She shook her head. “It was my fault. I was so enraptured of the ladybugs I didn’t hear you coming. I should apologize to you.”

“That isn’t what I meant. But thank you.” He sighed, and the smile faded, replaced by a softening of his eyes that both warmed Cora and broke her heart. “I owe you an apology for avoiding you and being so curt. I haven’t been myself, and I don’t want you to think I’ve become a complete ass.”

Cora snorted and covered her face in embarrassment. She’d stopped that habit when she laughed long ago. “I would never think that of you, Joseph, though you can be quite stubborn sometimes.”

“That’s true enough. But I would never purposely treat you poorly, Cora.” He took a deep breath and said, “I wanted to congratulate you, on your engagement, and wish you the best for your party. I’ve made sure the flowers for the garlands and whatever else are unsurpassed in their quality. I want you to be the brightest belle of the ball for the season.”

Cora tried to contain her emotions, needing to impress something important upon Joseph. “I wanted to talk to you about that, Joseph. Charlie…”

“Is a good man,” he finished for her. “He will be gentle and kind and good to you. I’m not angry, Cora. I’m very happy for you.” He smiled, and she read the disappointment in his gaze he wasn’t speaking out loud. “I wish you all the happiness life could bring, and I would never do anything to take that away from you.”

But
you
could give it to me!
She wanted to shout it at him, but she knew by now it wouldn’t do any good. As she’d just told him, Joseph was stubborn, and he had set his mind to something. She would never change it. “Thank you,” she whispered, not trusting her voice. He nodded and started to get up, but Cora grabbed his arm. “Joseph, wait.” She was so desperate to keep him here just a moment longer.

He gave her a questioning look, but she had no way of explaining her need in the moment. Instead, she leaned forward, catching him off guard as she brushed her lips against his. The same spark carried a shudder through her body, and with her pose and the unforgiving dress, she lost her balance, falling forward on top of Joseph, who toppled onto his back.

She stared at him with wide eyes of wonder, her nose merely an inch from his, and she could see every tiny detail of his lovely face. He held her gaze captive as he reached one hand up and ran his knuckles over her cheek. Then, he carefully lifted her, sitting up and then standing and helping her to her feet. He touched his lips and pulled her into a hug, whispering in her ear, “And thank you, for a gift I shall not forget. Ever.”

In an instant, he was gone, and Cora was left reeling, cold and alone. She couldn’t even see where he had gotten off to and rather than stand around and ponder what had just happened, she hurried to join her mother and Mrs. Caldwell. Otherwise, she would have gone to her room, changed into riding clothes, and stolen a horse to take her as far from here – from Charlie and balls and engagements and the memory of Joseph’s lips – as it could.

Chapter 21

Nausea had Cora wishing her parents had lost every penny they had made over the last five years. She stood in the center of the ballroom, clad in heavy burgundy satin with a hoop skirt so large it could have been the focus of the entire party. The thick cotton coat draped over the satin flowed longer and wider than the dress, the floral print of roses on crème matching precisely the burgundy of the satin. The ruffles from neck to waist were flattering, at least, and the belled sleeves gave her free movement of her arms, if nothing else.

And while she still had to wear the satin choker with cotton ruffles at her neck, at least it was not a collar attached to the dress, giving her some rotation of her neck. Her hair was braided and curled wildly, with additional hair pieces worked in to make the
coif
larger, and it had been adorned with
crème
pearl trinkets and feathers dyed burgundy to match the rest. Overall, it was beautiful, and yet, it swallowed her, a showpiece without the spirited girl to prance in it.

When she was finally able to step back slightly, she stood beside her mother and behind her father. Her mother spoke from the side of her mouth, “A bigger smile, Cora. You look like a sallow old woman with that wretched expression.”

“Charlie does not find it so wretched,” Cora smirked. Her mother stiffened beside her, which did prompt her to smile, even as her father raised his glass in a toast.

The room fell silent, and Cora’s stomach churned faster and more insistent. She had not eaten since breakfast, the nausea starting early this morning, but she still felt as though she would lose any contents of her stomach in the next few moments.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us to celebrate our daughter, Cora, and her coming of age. We welcome all of you and hope you are enjoying yourselves. Be sure to collect a charm to commemorate the occasion as you leave tonight.” Several of the attendees clapped and twittered at that idea. But her father commanded the room and continued, “We have a very exciting announcement to make tonight as well. We are not only lucky to have such a kind, gentle, and lively young lady as our daughter. We are also blessed with the promise of a son-in-law who is sure to make the perfect husband for our special young woman. Charlie, why don’t you join us over here? You are practically family now.”

Cheers rose up deafeningly all around, and Cora’s heart pounded so hard she thought it might explode inside her chest. Her vision swam as Charlie came and took her hand. Her father calmed the chaotic noise and said, “I am humbled to announce that Charlie Cantrell has asked for my daughter’s hand in marriage, and she has accepted. We will be sending invitations to the engagement party as well as the wedding soon.”

Cora barely made it through the whirlwind of congratulators and well-wishers as they fought to come and hug her, kiss her cheek, and shake Charlie’s hand. Some of the young men leered at her, and many of the young women glared at her and flirted with Charlie. She didn’t suppose they really understood that it didn’t matter to her, that she would gladly hand him over, giving the opportunity. And she could not explain that to anyone.

Of course, she was expected to dance the night away with Charlie and to entertain her guests, but all Cora wanted to do was run home. Not to the opulent house up on the hill but to the ramshackle abode she’d grown up in. Unfortunately, she’d discovered to her horror that the house had been torn down and a new one was being built by a small family from the wood they could salvage.

At least if she went to the house she wished her parents had never bought, she could lock herself in her room and mourn the upcoming loss of what little freedom she had left. The marriage wasn’t a blessing, it was a curse. And while she wished Charlie the best, she did not want to be attached to him. He deserved a woman who could love him, or at least care about him more than Cora, who merely cared enough that she didn’t want to see his feelings hurt or his pride dashed.

She didn’t have the option of running away. Her mother would take the belt to her if she even gave the impression it was on her mind. Cora hadn’t tasted the belt on her rear since she was six years old, and she wouldn’t call down the punishment now.

Rather than cause a commotion, she played her role. She danced and she forced laughter, and when she could steal away for a moment, she went out to the terrace for a breath of fresh air. Frances sought her out once and tried to make her laugh but gave up when it only brought a tear to Cora’s eye. Eventually, her mother or Charlie – her fiancé now, she supposed – would come for her and guide her back to the party.

By the end of the night, after Edith had taken all the pins from her hair and helped her into her nightgown, every part of Cora’s body ached – her ribs from the dress, her shoulders from its weight, her head from the tight pins, her arms from shaking hands, and her legs and feet from dancing and the uncomfortable shoes.

But despite her exhaustion, Cora knew she wouldn’t fall asleep anytime soon.