Mirror Amour (Circotica Series) (8 page)

            He unlocked the door and let me totter inside on my heels. I kicked them off the moment I crossed the threshold. Planting hands on my hips, I turned to face him. “What’s going on?”

            He ignored me while he closed the door with infinite care and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I followed, my heart palpitating, priming for a fight. I wanted it. I needed it. I couldn’t be flayed so expertly with sex and not have him be nice to me afterward. I wasn’t hardwired that way. I was fine with the knowledge I’d never see Carson again. After all, I went in knowing our relationship was only going to last a few hours, but Noah had punctured me to my soul. Closed off for eight months and then the passion he kept hidden sunrised, and I felt as if I’d been grazed with the most amazing eclipse only to lose the beauty the second it was over.

            Noah’s throat worked hard, gulping down water. His hair was spiky from dried sweat. A droplet of water escaped the corner of his mouth. I desperately wanted to lick it for a few reasons. One, I was still horny. How that was possible, I had no clue. Two, I wanted to show him it wasn’t over between us, and three, I was freaking dying of thirst.

            I pulled a mug from the cupboard and followed suit, drinking a gallon before wiping my mouth and piercing him with a glare. “So—are we going to talk about what happened tonight?”

            His eyes flickered to the petri dish shaped clock above the cooker. “It’s past one a.m. Nothing happened tonight. It was yesterday, and I said we wouldn’t talk about it.”

            I dragged hands through my hair, my head pounding with no warning. My nerves were too raw from this conversation. I snapped, “Fine. Be an idiot. I’m going to bed.”

* * * * *

            Saturday shot me awake with a loud clap of thunder shaking the glass in my window frames. I groaned and snuggled deeper into my comforter as rain lashed and hissed against the roof.

            I’d had a restless night. I couldn’t stop thinking about Noah and his stupid reason to keep whatever happened between us in a box labelled ‘can’t happen again’.

            I’d had a shower at three a.m., unable to stop smelling both men on my skin. My little black dress reeked of sex and lust, and when I’d bundled it into put in the washing machine every atom in my body revved higher. Looking for more of what I’d had, desperate for the connection.

            But it wasn’t the threesome I wanted again. I wanted Noah. I wanted the fire between us from last night to incinerate my world and blaze my future brighter. We were so alike—with our career path, our cleanliness and minimalistic home décor—we were even the same in culinary taste and movies. I could count how many times we’d talked since we moved in together on one hand, and yet I
knew
him.

            I knew he didn’t sleep well. I’d often hear him in the kitchen early in the morning. I knew he watched me with a guarded look, that up till last night, I thought was disinterest or aloofness. Now I suspected it was fierce restraint. He’d admitted wanting me for months. Admitted wanking over me.

            So why didn’t he take me? What was holding him back?

            The water boiler started humming as the shower ran. Noah was up.

            I twisted on my pillow, staring at the ceiling. I had two choices. Go and confront him about last night and make him talk to me, or pounce on him in the bathroom.

            I opted for number two.

            Pulling my sore and much loved body from the warm cocoon of my bed, I slipped on a satin robe and made my way across the lounge. The storm outside raged, making me doubly glad the heating was at a cosy temperature, and Noah had started the gas fire. Why couldn’t he give in to whatever he felt for me?

            Our Saturday could go from dismal weather to sexy day by the fire watching movies. My skin trembled with the thought of having him naked on our white shag pile rug. I wanted to ride him like he rode me last night. I wanted to sit in his lap and stroke him.

            My fingers shook as I reached to twist the bathroom door knob. It turned with no complaint, and I cracked the door. He hadn’t locked it—did that mean something? Did he want me come and get him, or did he not lock the door normally?

            The black and white checkered shower curtain obscured him, but his silhouette was bowed, his forehead touching tile with water streaming over his head. His chest hunched and dejected.

            My heart went out to him. Why did he look so fragile? Did he hate himself for what we did last night? What went on in his head?

            Deciding I needed to understand, I unfastened my belt and let my robe fall to the floor. The satin kissed my skin, sending goosebumps over me.

            I was naked in the same room as Noah. Again.

            And this morning there was no Carson. No distraction of mirrors. It was just us.

            I tiptoed to the shower curtain and peeked around the side.

            My heart instantly curled up in shock and need.

Noah’s eyes were closed, his stomach tense and arm working. I thought he’d been hunched dejectedly, when in reality he was arched with pleasure.

His fist jerked up and down on his erection. Thighs spread wide, back rippling with energy as he worked himself to a release.

            Oh fuck. That was too hot. I’d caught him wanking. Was it over me? Instantly my body infernoed and wetness built between my legs.

            Noah groaned softly, barely audible over the spray of water. His hips thrust into his hand, so close to making himself come.

            I didn’t want him to come
. I
wanted to be the one who did that. I wanted to take him again, to make him a part of me. If he climaxed now it would siphon down the drain and be an empty release. With me it could be a new beginning if he worked out his issues.

            Before I could stop myself, I whispered, “Don’t.”

            He froze for a milimoment before spinning. His hand still around his cock, eyes flared. His stomach muscles so smooth and defined caught rivulets of water, turning the droplets into a merry-go-round of planes and lines before journeying down his powerful legs and sexy feet.

            My mouth parted just looking at him. How could he keep his sexuality hidden under a drab lap coat? How was I so blind?

            “What the fuck, Linden? Don’t you know how to knock?” He tried to cover himself with his other hand, flinching a little as he battled with not finishing.

            “I want to—I want…” I couldn’t finish my sentence so captivated by him under the torrent of water, knowing he was pleasuring himself. “Were you wanking over me?” My cheeks glowed, but I took confidence from what he said last night. He wanted me, too; he just couldn’t admit it.

            His mouth tightened. “Leave me alone.”

            Hurt lanced through my heart. Why was he so determined to push me away?

            I couldn’t move and couldn’t even find happiness as his eyes trailed from mine, latching onto my naked body. My blood responded to the need smouldering in his hazel-green eyes, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Was I brave enough to ask a man to like me when he didn’t even want me in the same room as him? Who would rather wank than have me?

            I hung my head, tears stinging. “Fine.” Without another word, I spun on my heel and charged out of the bathroom, leaving behind humid steam for the dry heat of the lounge. My nakedness made me vulnerable in the worst way and everything that happened between us last night cindered into falseness. Whatever happened between Noah and me, it was all in my head. He was caught in the moment, and, like any hot-blooded male, took me with no strings attached. After all, we were at Circotica. A place of free and inhibited sex. I shouldn’t feel so used, but I did. Not by Carson—but by Noah.
Bastard
. What a bastard to make me think emotion existed when he was just a sex-crazed man who liked to tug on women’s heart strings. He made me believe there was more. He lied.

            The shower wrenched off and Noah stumbled out the door. His chest pumped, and he busily wrapped a towel around his waist.

            “You said we wouldn’t talk about it. That it was for one night! Fuck, don’t complicate this.”

            Anger seeped into my limbs, and I spun. “
I’m
complicating it? How about you? We live together. We never talk and then we have mind-altering sex. Forgive me if I want to talk about that! To understand the passion between us. There was more to just fucking last night, Noah! How can you deny that? You almost punched Carson when he wanted to come inside me. If there was nothing—like you say there is—you wouldn’t have
cared
. I would’ve been a bit of pussy to enjoy for a few hours.” My tone was nasty and I snarled. “You said you wanted to get off on watching another man fuck me. You didn’t get off. It hurt you. Why do you deny that?”

            His entire body bunched. “Don’t talk like that.”

            “Like what? You don’t want me to say the word pussy or fuck? Does it affect you? Make you horny as hell?” My nipples ached, and the moisture inside only increased the more I goaded him. Why couldn’t he see he drove me wild—insane with need for him?

            He advanced, stopping a centimetre away. My chest panted, and I restrained myself from rubbing my naked breasts against his wet pecs. Thank God our net-curtains weren’t see-though. Having a fight naked in our lounge would’ve entertained our neighbours no end.

            “Don’t remind me of that man fucking you.” He gritted his teeth. “I don’t like it.”

            “What don’t you like about it? Watching him or knowing he pleasured me?”

            He growled, his arms rippling with anger. “
Both.
I wanted to be the one to pleasure you. I thought it would be easy to watch but—it lacerated me.” His eyes tightened with torment. “It showed me lying to myself doesn’t work, and it crippled me to hear you enjoying him. Those little cries, the pants. Christ, Linden you
writhed
for him. It was the hottest thing, and I get hard every time I think about it, but I. Was. Lying. I didn’t want to watch you. You mean more—”

“So you admit you felt protective, that you wanted me for yourself?” My heart whirled. More. He’d said it. He couldn’t take that back.

            He narrowed his eyes, flecks of colour kaleidoscoping. “You want me to admit I want you? Fine! I fucking want you. I love living with you. I love working with someone so bright and smart and capable. I love your sense of humour when you have friends over on a Friday night. I love the way you whimper when you finger yourself in bed. You think I don’t hear you. But I do. It ties me in fucking knots.” His chest heaved as he pressed against me, his breath hot on my face as he growled, “Is that what you want to hear? That I want to throw you to the floor and dive inside you?”

            My heart galloped even as my body throbbed with every word. I trembled with the most uncontrollable need. Never had someone been so angry and fierce with me before. Never had words made ache and be wet as hell.

            “Then do something about it. Take me. Now. Alone. You can have me all to yourself.” Please God, let him take me. I was melting in front of him from the intense pressure inside. I needed to have him in me again. To have those strong arms around me, holding me tight as he ploughed into me.

            He closed his eyes tightly, sucking in a sharp breath. “I can’t. Go put some clothes on.”

            Livid temper filled me; I wrenched his towel off his hips in one swoop. His cock jumped, fully erect.

He grunted and stepped back. “What the hell are you doing? I told you. It was one night only!”

            “You can’t tell me all of that and deny me, Noah. That’s called being a tease, and I can see you want me as much as I want you. You just admitted it. Do you get off on self-denial?” I seethed. “It doesn’t make
sense.
You turned me inside-out last night. I want more. I want you. I want to see if we get along out of the bedroom as well as we did in it last night.” I reached for him, but he scrambled back, abdominals rippling in his haste to move. “Come here.”

            “I can’t. You’ll hate me. That’s why I said it was one night. That way you won’t leave me when you find out what I did. You won’t be betrayed.”

            My eyes narrowed. What did he do? What possibly could he have done to make me hate him? We lived together for eight months, and he never stepped out of line. Always courteous, friendly—if not a little cool. So what could he have done?

            He ducked to gather his towel but I reached it before him, tugging it out of his reach. If I was naked he would stay naked, too. “What are you so afraid of?” Inching forward, I locked eyes with him. His eyes were more hazel, swirling with temper, heat, and a trace of fear. “Tell me. It can’t be as bad as you think. I need you again, Noah. I won’t be satisfied now I’ve had a small taste.”

            He groaned as I reached out and grabbed his erection, stroking his length. I wobbled as a burst of sensation floated through me. Just touching him made me radiate like a house fire. Hot, smoky, deadly.

            “Linden—stop…” His voice dropped to a plea as I stroked harder, guiding him to the couch behind. I steered him through his cock and a flare of female power filled me as he dropped onto the sofa a moment later. I stood over him, mouth ajar, staring at every part of him.

            “I don’t want to stop. Do you want me to stop?” My voice was husky and laced with sex-haze.

            He couldn’t speak, looking up at me, eyes wide, pupils even wider as I stood proud and naked between his open legs.

            Another crash of thunder boomed, sending the house rippling with Mother Nature’s call.

            Taking his non-answer as approval to continue, I raised one leg and kneeled on the couch, followed by the other leg imprisoning him between my thighs.