Misfit (Death Dwellers MC #6) (35 page)

“Spend time with them doing what?”

“Reading to them or playing peek-a-boo.” In the year after Rory’s birth, Kendall had been a good friend, a loving mother, and an attentive wife. “Whatever you’ve done with them in the past.”

Sadness entering her eyes, she bit down on her lip. For a moment, Fee thought she’d agree, that she recalled how she’d been just a few months ago.

Kendall shook her head, dashing Fee’s hopes. “That’s what I pay Ella for. I need a shower, then we can have a light lunch. Please, tell Jane to prepare something for us. I guess Charlotte and I will have to rethink how to get my partnership back.”

Shocked into speechlessness at Kendall’s announcement, Fee dropped her mouth open. Minutes ago, Kendall had been in genuine fear for her life. Until Fee’s reassurances buoyed Kendall back to her scheming.

When she settled down, she’d realize she wasn’t at risk, but Charlotte was.

Fee headed to the kitchen, satisfied that her cousin-in-law and ex-boss no longer feared Christopher. The woman not only felt better, but intended to proceed on, as though Daphne’s killing never happened

Fee might admire Kendall, but she’d never understand the workings of her mind.

Later that evening, Fee leaned against Cash’s sofa and sighed, filled up from delicious sandwiches. She’d left Kendall on a high note, acting as though the shooting never happened. Reassuring Fee of her return to normalcy, Kendall insisted Fee leave right after their mushroom omelet. Aware of the futility of arguing with Kendall, Fee left. She’d intended to stay in for the rest of the day, until Cash called and invited her over.

“Kendall said she’s responsible for Daphne’s death.”

“She is.” Stretch refused to offer leeway.

Kendall wasn’t Cash or Stretch’s favorite person, another issue Fee took partial responsibility for. If she’d kept her mouth shut, they wouldn’t have been further alienated from Johnnie’s wife. Fee had been so worried about Kendall following through with her blackmail she’d had to warn her men.

Fee cleared her throat. “Daphne didn’t have to agree to Kendall’s demands,” she argued, still unable to imagine what would possess Daphne to such a stupid decision.

“Daphne did it for the money,” Cash explained, as if he read Fee’s mind. “It does her no good now. Something I tried my best to explain to her. She was so fucking hardheaded.”

Fee didn’t want to begrudge Cash mourning a dead woman. Except, a burst of shameful jealousy went through her. Cash wasn’t a man who showed his feelings. But the regret on his face and the sadness in his eyes spoke volumes. He must’ve cared about Daphne more than he admitted.

Sobered at her continued insecurity, Fee took the conversation in another direction.

“Do you think we should’ve told Christopher? Maybe, if we had told him at first, Daphne would still be alive.”

Stretch slid closer to her. “Don’t feel guilty, sweetheart. Daphne made her choice. If you’d confessed to Outlaw, he still would’ve killed her.”

“Along with me, Stretch, and Kendall,” Cash added. “And he might not have forgiven you. We’re all in collusion.”

Fee wrinkled her nose. “He wouldn’t have killed Kendall. She’s family.”

Stretch shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s over. Daphne’s dead. Hopefully, Kendall has finally learned her lesson.”

That would be a no. “Christopher wouldn’t hurt her,” Fee insisted, concerned she’d given Kendall the wrong advice. “He couldn’t live with himself. Don’t you think he regrets killing Daphne now that he’s calmed down?”

Cash snorted. “Fuck no.”

Absently, Stretch rubbed his leg. “I believe he’d regret killing Kendall because of Johnnie.”

“Over lunch, Kendall told me she had to take sleeping pills to erase the image from her mind. Knowing she was behind Daphne’s appearance, she also said Johnnie didn’t talk to her.” Today, though, he seemed to have been so worried about her.

Fee was learning how Kendall exaggerated matters. Then, again, she’d witnessed Johnnie’s anger firsthand at the restaurant.

If anything good came out of the deaths of her sisters and nieces, it was the secrets she was uncovering about her family. Christopher and Johnnie were less god-like in Fee’s eyes. They were real men with a gamut of feelings. Johnnie wasn’t always easy going, and Christopher wasn’t always serious. Zoann wasn’t only her sister, but her equal.

Somewhere, deep down, Fee had known that. She’d just never taken the time to recognize it.

“Johnnie not talking to Kendall won’t help her frame-of-mind.” Stretch shook his head. “It’ll make her worse.”

An image of Charlotte Redding rose in Fee’s head. Charlotte was the bad news, the one egging Kendall on, convincing her that she knew best. “Roxy hasn’t been calling Kendall, so, of course, Charlotte is pointing out that she wasn’t really her friend. She’s playing on Kendall’s insecurities. I don’t know what to do.”

“Stay out of it, Fee,” Stretch ordered. “You came out of this situation unscathed. Don’t fall for Kendall’s bullshit again. She’s on a collision course with Outlaw.”

Yeah, if she went through with her plans. “Should I go to Johnnie again?”

Cash shook his head. In his chair, enjoying his beer, his presence filled the room, drawing attention as always. He seemed casual, almost unconcerned, but Fee knew he took in every detail of the conversation, every movement she made. A predator scoping out his prey. Her body responded as much to the danger Cash represented as it did to the protection she perceived from Stretch. The more time they spent together, the closer she felt to them. Stretch surprised her the most.

Underneath his gentleness was a man who enjoyed pleasure. His vulnerability gave the perception of weakness. In reality, he was as strong as any of the men in her life.

Cash and Stretch. Strength and serenity. Her lost boys.

“Johnnie will be watching Kendall closely now,” Cash interrupted her thoughts. “With Daphne’s death, there’s not much Kendall can do on her own. What’s done is done, babe. Let’s not spend the rest of our evening talking about Kendall and Daphne.”

“Cash is right, Fee. Do you want something to drink?” Stretch asked, standing. “There’s more beer in the fridge, as well as white wine.”

“I’ll have a beer,” she answered.

Cash’s sudden torrid stare sent heat rushing to Fee’s cheeks. She wanted them so bad. In wordless agreement, they hadn’t made love in weeks, focusing on getting to know each other, truly listening to how their day had gone, their likes and dislikes, what made the other laugh.

So far, more serious issues hadn’t been addressed. That needed to change. If she knew Cash lined up his beers in a certain manner because it relaxed him, then she should know about the end game to revealing their relationship. She shouldn’t feel paranoid—jealous—over a dead woman.

Stretch handed her an opened bottle, then reseated himself close to her.

“Thank you,” she said, tasting her drink. “Delicious.”

“Not as delicious as your lips would be,” Cash murmured in his deep timbre, setting butterflies off in her lower belly.

“This is so nice.” She slid her fingers along Stretch’s thigh, spurred on by Cash following her movements. “Let’s not ruin it with…” Her voice trailed off. If she even spoke the j-word, it would be an admission. On the other hand, they’d always be stuck in one place, if they didn’t talk openly about their feelings. She believed familiarity would breed comfort, and there’d be no need to compete. “Let’s not ruin our evening with jealousy.”

Cash lifted a brow, while Stretch sucked in a breath.

Though afraid of pushing them, the presence of her two men exhilarated her. “We’re still jealous of each other,” she admitted, their dirty, little secret out in the open. “If we can be honest with each other, then we can enjoy each other’s company as we have the last few times we’ve been together. That’s why our guard is down now.”

“We’re just fine.” Cash eyed both of them. “Just as I want it.”

“That’s the problem,” Stretch told him, as Fee drank more beer. “It’s as
you
want it, but Fee’s right, Cash. Together, with you two, I find a quiet peace.”

“Really?” His admission awed Fee. “I’ve always felt that way about you. You’re so calming to me. Seeing you will turn a rotten day into a wonderful one.”

Skepticism clouded Stretch’s blue eyes, low self-esteem surfacing.

Smiling, she took his hand. “Don’t be so surprised. Why do you think Cash loves you so much? He’s so, um, high-strung,” she said, and giggled.

Stretch chuckled, too.

“You find this shit funny?” Cash barked. “I don’t. I didn’t invite you over here for your backseat analyzing. It’s unappreciated and inaccurate.”

“I wasn’t laughing at you,” Fee said in exasperation. “Kendall described Meggie as high-strung. I couldn’t think of a better word for you, so I borrowed her term.”

Irritation marring his face, Cash stood. “This evening is over.”

“Why?” Stretch spat. “Because she’s innocent enough to believe you love me?”

“See what you’ve done?” Cash glared at Fee, then transferred it to Stretch. “I
do
have feelings for you
and
her.”

“Bullshit!” Stretch stormed to his feet. “Every fucking time I try to discuss how I feel, it’s a fucking joke or you shut it the fuck down without hearing a word I have to say.”

“She didn’t mention your feelings. She mentioned hers. If you need to talk to me, we can do it some other time.”

Wow! Really? Every time she thought they were building the relationship they all wanted, Cash shot it down by word or deed.

“Enough!” Fee shouted. Cash ran away from his emotions, as if it were a cancer that would fester and kill him, if he admitted to being in love. “Sit down, both of you.”

Stretch complied. Cash stayed in place.

“Oh my god, you’re the most infuriating man ever.” Marching to Cash, she grabbed his arm and attempted to guide him back to his seat. “Please?”

“I don’t want your goddamn analyzing,” he warned, but sat down.

“I won’t,” she promised. “This is going to be about me. I’ve told myself so many different things to justify why I accept your treatment, Cash. I’ve convinced myself I’m afraid of losing someone else close to me. That’s true. I am. Terrified, as a matter of fact. The past few days have been so good between us and this is what I’ve been yearning for.”

“You’ve been yearning for babies, Fee,” Cash told her. “Marriage. A family. With me.”

“I haven’t said that to you alone in weeks,” she said quickly at the betrayal darkening Stretch’s face. “I haven’t seen him when you aren’t here for an even longer time.”

Cash narrowed his eyes at her.

He had the most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen. If Stretch’s were startlingly bright, Cash’s were deep and intense, like blue velvet.

“Did I lie about you wanting
my
babies? I don’t give a fuck when you said it.”

Aware of Stretch’s interest in the answer, Fee licked her lips, annoyed at the predicament Cash put her in. But this was her chance to explain herself. “I love you, so, yes, it’s true. The only way to have you was agreeing to a relationship with you and Stretch. I thought you’d eventually choose. But, then, I got to know you a little, Stretch,” she said, turning her attention to him. “I knew I could be happy with both of you. That we could work our relationship out, but, Cash, you’re the center of us. For the
three
of us to work, you have to be all in.”

He was. Both she and Stretch had loved Cash, separate and alone, apart from each other. They’d each wanted him for themselves. She couldn’t speak for Stretch, but, now, she couldn’t imagine having one without the other.

“Cash,” Stretch began. “I resented Fee so fucking much. We’d agreed that we wanted a girl in our relationship. But we were supposed to choose her together. Instead, you introduced me and her, then told us to deal with it. Or else. You’re the motherfucker, not her. I was resenting the wrong fucking person.”

Cash laughed without humor. “Wrong, fucker. You show me all the time how much you resent me.”

“You’re an asshole.” Stretch leaned his head on the back of the sofa. “For fuck’s sake, you don’t take anything serious. You fucked me and Fee, then spent an entire fucking weekend with Daphne.”

“I didn’t touch her, so fuck you,” Cash shot back, shocking both of them. Before Fee had a chance to absorb the truth of that, he continued. “I paid her a thousand dollars to pretend I did.” For a moment, his mask dropped. “Just being with Daphne felt as if I were betraying you two. I’ve never known if I cheated on you with Fee, Stretch. Or if I was doing things my way, as I’m accustomed to.”