Missy's Gentle Giant (23 page)

“One of your scars?”

“Yes, the one on my thigh.”

“But I thought it was just a cut.” 
Missy glanced at him with questioning eyes.

With his attention apparently on
driving, Ben said nothing and turned the jeep into a circular driveway. 
He pulled to a stop in front of a beautiful sprawling glass house. “This is
it.”  He smiled.  “Feel free to wander and do what you like while I
get the jeep unpacked.”  He opened the front door and dropped a box
inside.

Still wondering why Ben didn’t say
more about getting the scar, Missy wandered inside amazed.  Windows
stretched from the floor to the ceilings, even in the kitchen.  Ben took
their suitcases to the bedroom first, then brought boxes in the kitchen.

She stole her way down the hall and
stepped into the most beautiful bedroom she’d ever seen.  Again the
windows went to the ceiling; the bed was circular, covered in red satin and was
so large all her brothers would fit on it.  She went to the bed, sat on it
and sank.

“Pretty neat, huh?”  Ben stood
in the doorway.

“I’ve never seen anything like
it.”  Missy felt her cheeks burn with color.

“Sleeping will be a different
experience too.”  He smiled.

“Oh?” 

“It’s a waterbed.”

“Oh!”  Missy jumped up. 
“Is that why I sank so far?”

“Yep.  Everything’s here for
one to relax, even a sauna in the bathroom you can try.  Change if you
like.”  He pointed to her nightgown and chuckled.  “Unless you’re
planning on wearing your nightgown all week.”

“Oh, I forgot.”  Again her
cheeks colored.

“Well, I think everything you’ll
need is in the blue suitcase.  I’ll be in the kitchen putting things
away.”

“But I can’t undress here.” 
Missy raised her hands in the air and her face colored again.  “There are
windows everywhere and no curtains!  Even the bathroom is wide open.”

“Suit yourself, but there’s no one
to see you but me.”  Ben shrugged and walked off.  When he got to the
kitchen he was smiling.  Wait until she opened the suitcase!  Quickly
he emptied boxes and put food away.  He started a fire in the barbecue and
was watching it when he heard Missy shriek.  Well, she looked in the
luggage.  Grinning broadly he went for their steaks.  Before he
started the salad, he went back to the bedroom.  Missy was sitting on the
bed and wringing her hands.

“Decided to stay in your nightgown,
I see.”  He went to one of his suitcases and pulled out some cut-offs.

“I thought you said the blue
suitcase was for me.”  Missy didn’t look up.

“I did.”  Ben gave her a
questioning look.  “Something wrong?”  Quickly he pulled off his
shirt and reached for his belt.  Missy’s face colored again.

“I—I—can’t wear things like those. 
The clothes aren’t even mine.”

“Oh?”  Ben stepped out of his
slacks, walked over to the closet wearing only boxers and hung them.

“They’re clothes for—for—ladies of
the evening—things—”  She turned away and swallowed hard when she saw Ben
in bikini briefs.

“Can’t imagine how it
happened.”  He pulled on his cut-offs.  “You’re welcome to try
anything of mine.  Of course I imagine they’ll be too big.”  His
zipper going up grated against her nerve endings.  He walked over to her,
leaned forward and kissed her on the nose.  “Honey, you’d look sexy in
anything.  Dinner will be ready in half an hour.”

Missy went to Ben’s suitcase and
saw nothing to fit her.  She went into the kitchen half an hour later
still wearing her nightgown.  Ben shrugged and shook his head.  So
she had a huge hang-up about someone seeing her body?  This may take more
than a week.  Oh well, one thing Ben hated to do was quit in the middle of
a project.  If he could survive all the hell he’d gone through in Iraq,
drug busts with the DEA, and fighting her nine brothers three times, he should
be able to win Missy.  He pretended not to notice she was still in her
nightgown when he placed their plates on the table, got the wine and sat down.

“Ben, where did you learn to
cook?”  Missy popped some salad into her mouth totally self-conscious and
trying to avoid looks at his bare chest.

“Used to follow the cook at home.” 
He smiled.  “I like to cook.  She used to get furious because I’d go
on a baking binge and leave the kitchen a mess.”

“You bake too?”  Ben?  Charger,
the warrior?  She shook her head and smiled.  Oh, he was beautiful.

“Nothing spectacular, just enough
to fill a sweet tooth.”  He reached over and touched her nose.  “I
also can’t specialize with foreign food much, just the steak and potatoes
variety.  Good old down to earth food.”

“But it’s delicious!”  Missy
sipped at her wine.  “Do you always like wine with your meals too?” 
Her eyes strayed over him again.  Why was looking at Ben so different from
looking at her brothers?  She was used to seeing bare chests.

“Not always, but it has a relaxing
effect when a person’s nerves are wound up.”  He smiled and filled her
glass again.

“Are you trying to get me
drunk?”  Her voice shook a little, and she looked out at the beach.

“No, just trying to help you relax. 
We’ve got a long week ahead of us.”  He leaned back and smiled.  “One
thing about this place, with no television or telephone, a person has to look
within oneself.  I’ve always done a lot of thinking when I’ve stayed out
here.”

“And your father?”  Her face
colored.

“The huge round bed in there should
tell you what he used this place for.”  Ben smiled.

“It doesn’t bother you?”  She
sipped more wine.

“When I was younger, it did.” 
Ben rose from the table and started clearing it.

Missy picked up the salad bowl and
the spice carry-all.

“For a while I even followed in his
footsteps.”  Ben smiled.  “My mother ran around a lot too, so I had
two great examples to follow.” 

“And what changed things for you?”

“You did.”  Ben snapped the
dishwasher shut and glanced up.

“Oh.”  Missy’s cheeks colored.

Ben poured more wine and handed
Missy her glass,  “I didn’t bring you here for a fling, Missy.  What
I want between us has to be permanent.  I chose this place so we could be
totally alone and work things out with no interference.  My business
doesn’t know where I am; your family doesn’t know.  It won’t be right
unless we can be one.”

“I—I know.”  She gulped her
wine and stared at the floor.

“Come on, let’s walk on the
beach.”  Ben reached for her hand.  She started to put her glass
down, but he stopped her.  “Bring your glass.”  He reached for
another bottle.

For over two hours Ben walked Missy
around the beach.  Several times he pointed toward the house having so
many windows and no curtains.  For over two hours he teased her, held her
hand, poured wine in her glass, chased her and laughed with her until he was
sure she was totally exhausted and relaxed.  She even noticed he drank two
glasses of wine to her one as if he were trying to make sure she didn’t get
drunk.

When they neared the house, Ben
reached for her hand and dropped to the sand.  Missy dropped down beside
him.  For several moments neither said a word.  Ben seemed to be a
million miles away as he gazed toward the sea.  Missy drew up her legs,
hugged them and watched him.

“Ben, Gonzalo says they called you
Charger because you always took chances.  Why?”

“You mean in Iraq?”  He
glanced up at her.

“Yes, and even the DEA.  Why
did you take so many chances?”

Ben looked down at the sand and
shrugged.  “Don’t know.  I guess it seemed like something had to be
done, and I had less to lose than the others.”

“Aren’t you going to miss that kind
of life?”

“No, I won’t miss it.”

“Why?”

“I’ve got too much to lose to want
to take chances now.”  He smiled widely.

“Oh.”  Missy shifted
uncomfortably.

“Honey, this right here with you is
my last chance.”  Ben chuckled and sat up.

“I want things to work out, I
really do.”

“Gonzalo told me you went to the
doctor.”

“Yeah.”  She shrugged.

“Something wrong?”

“He’s like Mama.”  She gulped. 
“He said I should just grin and bear the sex.”

“No, I don’t want our lovemaking to
just be sex; I want it special with us and no ghosts.”

“But there’s something I have to
say.”  She made letters in the sand with her fingers.

“Okay, what?”  Ben shifted and
held his breath.

“I’ve been ruined.”  She took
a deep breath.  “I’m not a virgin.”  Tears came to her eyes.

“Then I’ve been ruined too, honey,
because I’m not a virgin either.”  He kissed her forehead.  “It
doesn’t matter to me if you’re a virgin or not.  Did you expect me to be a
virgin?”

“No, but men are different.” 
She bit her lip.

“Oh, in what way?”  His eyes
went down to the sand.

“Mama told me.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, she said men want se—need sex
more than women.”  She trembled.

“What are you trying to—”

“Listen, if I can’t—if I don’t—” 
She looked at Ben with tears behind her eyes.  “I give you permission to
have a mistress.”  Her fingers shook as she spelled the words.

Ben sat up picked up a stick and
started drawing.  “Do you want me to have a mistress?”

“No but—no I just don’t want to
lose you or hurt you.” 

The muscles in Ben’s cheek
rippled.  “Missy, I don’t want a mistress; I want you.”

She shuddered and took a
breath.  “But—but what if we can’t solve my problem?”  At first Missy
thought Ben didn’t understand her when he withdrew his hand and looked away
rather than answer.  She grabbed his hand.  “What if you don’t like
it with me because I’m—”

He pulled his hand away, slowly
turned, reached for her chin and made sure she could read his words as he also
said them slowly with his other hand.  “We’ll die working on it
then.  I married you because I love you and for life—not for sex.  I
don’t just want sex; I want to show you my love.”

“Oh Ben.”  She tore herself
away with tears on her cheeks.

“Oh Ben.”  He mimicked her
trying to lighten the air and reached for her ribs.  Holding back a
giggle, she jumped up to get away from his tickle.  He tore right after
her, and she kept turning to look back to see how close he was.  Ben saw
she was getting too close to the water and purposely kept a little distance
between them.  When a wave lashed up and wet her gown to the knees she
shrieked.

“Oh Ben, look what you did to me!”

“I did to you?”  He tried not
to smile.  Now she had to change clothes.

“Yes, you.  Chasing me all
over the place!  Oh, now, what am I going to do?”  Furious, she
stomped toward the house.  Ben stayed behind and busied himself in the
kitchen for several minutes allowing her to stomp into the bedroom.  As he
went through the house and turned down lights, he heard her complaining about
someone’s choice of wardrobe, Ben’s clothes being too big and everything else
in general.  She finally pulled out a huge sweatshirt and headed for the
bathroom where the window wall loomed at her.  She climbed in the shower,
quickly pulled off the gown and put on the sweatshirt.  After washing out
the nightgown, she hung it over a towel rack and prayed it would be dry by
morning.  She was just coming out of the bathroom when he entered the
bedroom.

“Mm, my shirt looks much better on
you than on me.”  He smiled.  His sweatshirt reached almost to her
knees.

“I can’t believe someone could
enjoy living in a glass house with no curtains.”

“Honey, there’s no one to see you
but me.”

“That’s not the point.”  She
fumed, plopped on the bed and covered her thighs with the sheet.  “You
don’t even have pajamas in your bags.”

“I never wear pajamas.”  He
nodded his head.  So the naked body, especially the idea of someone seeing
her, really bothered her?  But of course!  She’d be used to seeing
her brothers partially dressed, and there was no one to compare herself with
except her mother.  Her problem was more than just shyness.

“You don’t?”  Her eyebrows
shot up.  She watched mesmerized as he stepped out of his cut-offs. 
“What do—forget it.”  She felt the blood rush to the top of her head.

“Go on to bed honey, I need to
shower.”

As soon as Ben was in the bathroom,
Missy pulled back the covers, crawled on the bed, pulled the sweatshirt down as
far as she could get it, and then tried to roll into the covers.  No way
was she going to wear any of those lacy, sheer things he’d had packed for
her.  Just having to wear the lacy bikini panties made her nervous. 
No, knowing she was going to have to spend the night in the same bed with Ben
made her nervous.  When she heard him coming, she clamped her eyes
shut.  The bed gave way to Ben’s weight, and she instantly rolled toward
the middle.  Sucking in her breath, she reached for the edge of the bed
and finally let out some air when movement on his side stopped.  Carefully
she scooted to the far edge and let her breath out slowly.

She was losing her mind.  No,
he WAS naked.  How could he saunter in and drop on the bed so
easily?  She began to perspire between the heat of the heavy long-sleeved
shirt, the comforter she was buried under and her thoughts.  And Ben? 
He was as cool as a cucumber and totally comfortable, barely covered with just
a sheet and wearing nothing!  Her forehead grew even wetter.  She
couldn’t take any more.  Groaning loudly, she sat up nearly taking with
her the corner of the sheet covering Ben.

Ben raised himself to an elbow,
made no attempt to pull up the sheet and reached for her hand.

“What’s wrong?”  Although he
wasn’t an exhibitionist, he firmly believed nakedness between them was
important.  She needed to get over the way she felt about her own body.

Angrily her head whirled around to
him.  She saw the moonlight glowing on his beautiful body, the sheet
dangerously low, even showing his lower abdominal hair and felt the blood rush
to the top of her head.  “I’m too hot, dammit!”