Moon Awakening (22 page)

Ulf's roar of fury from high on the wall walk splintered her thoughts in that moment and sent a chill skittering down Emily's spine. But when she looked up, she did not see him. She peeked sideways at Lachlan. He acted as if he hadn't even heard the war cry.

But she knew he had and her heart went out to him even though she doubted he would thank her for the concern. Learning his brother was a traitor and a murderer could not have been easy, but he had revealed no emotion at Talorc's revelations. And he didn't expose any now either.

Ulf was not so circumspect. His face twisted with rage, he was waiting for them in the lower bailey with several other soldiers when their parry crossed the bridge. "What the hell is this? You have brought our enemy inside our very gates.'"

Lachlan motioned for the rest of them to halt and approached his brother alone. He glared at the other soldiers until the men stepped back from Ulf.

"The only enemy to the Balmoral clan stands before me," Lachlan said when he stood less than two feet from his brother. "In your lust for power, you killed one of our soldiers in hopes of luring me into a trap. You do not even have the courage to fight your own battles."

"I have the courage," Ulf snarled, "but I promised our father I would not challenge you for the position of laird. He did not think I could lead the clan because I have no beast inside me to cloud my thinking. He believed you were his true son, but I am more like him than you ever will be!"

"You have his temper, but you lack his strength and his intelligence."

"That's a lie! I'm everything he could have wanted in a son, but he judged me on the way my body reacts to a full moon."

"Go to the great hall," Lachlan commanded. "You will explain your treachery to me there."

Ulf just sneered.

Moving so quickly, she almost missed it, Lachlan hit his brother straight on the chin, knocking him backward into the dirt and into an unnatural sleep in the process.

"Carry him to the great hall," he instructed two of the warriors that had been hidden in the trees with Drustan when Lachlan confronted Talorc by the lake.

When they moved to obey, he asked the other soldiers if they stood with Ulf or with him. The men went to their knees and knelt before him, one going so far as to explain they had just been called from their duties by Ulf to help protect their laird. As a strong, chilling wind, portent of things to come, whipped around them, the soldier's story was confirmed by others and they were dismissed.

Lachlan went to the great hall and then made sure that no one but Chrechte and Emily and Ulf were in the keep before instructing that the door be shut and guarded by a Chrechte soldier on the other side. And she understood why he had insisted on having the confrontation at the keep. He was protecting the pack's secrets as Chrechte leaders had been doing within the clans since joining them the century before.

Ulf was awake and fuming by the fireplace when Lachlan allowed the rest of them into the great hall a few minutes later.

She and Cait stood between Drustan and Angus, with the Sinclair Chrechte behind them. There were two other Balmoral Chrechte on either side of Ulf. He glared at her and Cait, and then at Lachlan, "What are the women doing here?"

"Your treachery affected their lives. They will hear what you have to say for yourself."

"I need not explain myself to you."

"Like it or not, I am your laird. You will explain."

"Only because our father protected you by demanding that promise."

Lachlan shook his head. "Our father was protecting you from death when he made you promise not to challenge me. But you did not care. You chose to try to take control of the clan through devious means anyway. What honor is there in trying to negate your father's will, or in trying to get the Sinclair to kill me for you?"

"More honor than there is in a younger brother taking my rightful place of laird."

"Our father dictated I be his successor. It was his right."

"He made the wrong choice. It was
my right
to lead!"

"To what end? What could you have done for the clan I have not done?"

Ulf just glared.

"You are guilty of murder."

"You believe the word of your enemy over your brother?"

"You did not deny your treachery."

"I knew it was useless when I saw the two of you from the wall walk. I knew you would stand together as werewolf brothers even though you and I are blood brothers."

A spasm crossed Lachlan's face. "Are you saying now that you deny you plotted to get me killed? That you did not kill that young soldier?"

"Would you believe me if I did?"

"No." The absolute finality of that word could not be lost on anyone in the hall. "I know too much to believe your denial."

"Then why should I attempt one?" Ulf stood proud and erect, his expression filled with contempt and hatred. "You deserved to die… just like that soldier. He would have had a position of leadership one day, just as Drustan does, but what of me… your brother?"

"You turned down the position of first-in-command."

"It should have been you as my first, not the other way around. Why should I agree to serve you?"

"So, you believe you… a murderer and a liar… should be laird?"

Ulf was unfazed by the accusations, as if he truly saw nothing wrong with his actions. "I am a Balmoral, son of our father, just as you are."

"If I challenge you, does that negate the promise you made to our father?"

"On what grounds would you challenge me?" Ulf asked sneeringly.

"You murdered one of my soldiers."

"Prove it."

"I don't have to."

"You do if you want the clan to stand behind you."

"You are a fool to believe that."

"Am I?" Ulf asked, his expression taunting. "There is also your own honor, which would not be satisfied unless you can be absolutely sure I had done the deed."

"But I am."

Ulf just shrugged.

"There are also the many insults, heard by witnesses, you have subjected my mate to."

"You are not mated."

"I soon will be. Emily is my betrothed."

Ulf staggered as if Lachlan had landed him another blow. "You are going to marry a human?"

"Yes."

"I thought you were afraid of having human children like our father."

"If they are as fierce and loyal as their mother, it won't matter if they are werewolves."

Warmth suffused Emily despite the tension of the situation.

"She has tricked you with your lust."

"I'm not so easily deceived. I have told you this. You should have listened."

"Aren't you? You believed me about Susannah."

"I believed the evidence of my own eyes. Susannah was married to Magnus and I knew I had not given her permission to leave the island. Therefore I believed she had been taken without the permission of her clan."

"Now you know I sent her to Sinclair land."

"Why?"

"I wanted you to declare war on the Sinclairs. I could have led you into a trap. It's what our father would have done, but you are not enough like him. You're too soft."

"You're a fool if you believe that. You are the weak one and Father saw the lack in you. He knew you craved power but did not have the character to lead. He should have banished you, or sent you to serve under another laird, but
he
was too soft-hearted toward you. He loved you too much to let you go. You are my brother, but I am strong enough to see you get the punishment your crimes deserve. You were a fool to believe you could manipulate me."

"I wasn't. I had it all under control. If those two whores had not gotten out of the keep, you would not be playing ally with the Sinclair now."

Lachlan backhanded Ulf and the other man slammed against the wall beside the fireplace.

"Speak respectfully of my intended, or die where you stand."

Ulf wiped at a trickle of blood from his mouth. "I pity her, but most of all I pity the children you might have… children that could be like me."

"We will have children if God wills it. If some, or all, are fully human, I will love them."

"Our father loved me until I didn't make the change, but not after. I was his favorite; he trained me to be his next in command, but he dismissed me from the moment it became obvious I was not a wolf. Stupid bloody
animal
."

"It is not your lack of an inner wolf that makes you unsuitable to lead, but your lack of honor. I believe our father saw that."

Ulf attacked Lachlan, but within seconds he was insensate once again. "Lock him in the west tower," Lachlan ordered, his voice harsh.

Cait took Drustan aside for something. The warrior looked furious for a moment before giving instructions to another soldier. Emily couldn't dwell too long on what had been said by her friend to make her new husband look so angry because Lachlan had just called for the priest.

Which was how Emily had ended up where she was now, facing a priest and hearing the wedding mass spoken for the second time since coming to the Highlands. She'd seen the defeat and pain in Lachlan's eyes. He had lost a brother in the last hour and her heart had gone out to him. She had been incapable of adding to his torment by opposing him, but how could she allow Lachlan to make this sacrifice? How could she make it herself? He did not want to wed a human and she did not want to wed a man who saw her as less than she was because she was not half-wolf. Yet, he had agreed to the marriage, had not argued at all in fact. She didn't believe for one minute that was because Talorc had threatened war. Lachlan was too strong to be so easily cowed. No, he had his own reasons for marrying her, but she could not understand what they might be. She loved him so much, but she knew her feelings could never be returned, not while he thought her so inferior.

Only when they had touched it had not felt like he thought of her as inferior. It had not felt merely like an expression of lust either, and she did not think that was entirely the work of her fantasy. He had never treated her like she was "only a human" in his eyes, no matter what he said with his mouth.

When he was talking with Talorc, Lachlan had spoken of her as if he truly admired her. She could do worse than to marry a man who thought that highly of her. Couldn't she?

But when the time came for her to repeat her vows, she opened her mouth and nothing came out.

Lachlan looked down at her. "Is it so hard, lass?"

Mute, she nodded. Too many thoughts vied for supremacy in her mind; she could not give vent to a single one.

"I do not see why. You love me. You told me so. I will make you say the word
s
again later, when I am satisfying your curiosity." He winked at her.

She almost swooned right then and there from shock and embarrassment. It would serve him right if she married him and made his life a misery, the fiend!

"Hush," she hissed.

"It is not a thing to be ashamed of."

"Says you," Talorc said from the other side of Lachlan.

"You don't want this," she whispered, finally getting her throat to work.

"If I did not, the priest would not be standing in front of us."

"But you wanted to marry Chrechte."

"I want to marry you."

"I could not stand for you to reject our children like your father rejected Ulf… that is assuming we can even have children."

"I told Ulf it was God's choice whether or not we have children. Do you believe that?"

"Yes."

"If we have children, I will love them no matter what. I promise you this."

"But—"

"Do you trust me, English?"

Tears wet her eyes. "Yes." He was not a man given to breaking his promises.

"Then speak your vows."

"But…" she said again, only she didn't know what she wanted to say after.

She would love Lachlan all the days of her life. She had come to the Highlands prepared to do whatever was required to save her sister a dismal fate. She was now being offered a marriage much more hopeful than the one she had contracted to make. Why was she balking?

She could have a measure of happiness while keeping her sister safe. According to the Highlanders, they only obeyed their king when they wanted to. As long as she wasn't returned to England in disgrace, Abigail should be safe. Her father had paid the price his king demanded of him, and by all accounts, it was unlikely the Scottish king would check to make sure his laird had.

But surely, even if he did, he would be as content to have the wild Lachlan "tamed" by marriage to an Englishwoman as Talorc of the Sinclairs.

Still, she wondered if this was the right thing to do. She cast a sidelong glance at Lachlan. He looked so sure. And suddenly she knew it was going to be all right. For him to have had the change of heart he did about marrying a Chrechte, he had to love her. He might not realize it. He might not ever be willing to acknowledge it, but she was confident the feelings were inside him.

He would never, ever consent to marrying a human woman, much less argue for the marriage otherwise. He'd told her he planned to claim her before, but she'd thought he was under the influence of lust alone. After what had just transpired, even he could not be under such an influence at the moment. He must truly want this.

And he'd said he would love their children no matter what. Perhaps one day, he would even acknowledge loving her.

As her thoughts and heart finally settled, Talorc sighed, long and drawn out it was, too.

He asked, "You would rather marry me? With the priest here, that could be arranged."

She practically shouted her vows to the background of his uproarious laughter.

When it was done, Lachlan kissed her with such a wealth of passion she couldn't help wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back. He lifted her and cradled her against his chest, then carried her up the stairs and to his chamber. The sound of loud shouting followed them from the great hall.

When they reached his room, he did not give her a chance to stop and think.

They were both naked and in the bed before she became aware enough to warn him, "Once we make love there is no going back."

Despite her certainty that he loved her, she felt the need to give him one last chance to turn back. Marriage to a human woman was so far from what he had planned for his life.

"There was no going back from the moment I met you, but I was too stubborn to see it at first." He sounded too flippant to her.

"I mean it, Lachlan. As long as I am still a virgin, you can obtain an annulment, but once the marriage is consummated, I won't let you kick me out of your life, even if I'm not your true mate."

"I would never let you go." It was a vow and she took it as such, knowing it came from deep inside him. Then he kissed her again.

He touched her in ways he had not done before, bringing her excitement to a fever pitch of need. She widened her thighs, wanting him to join their bodies, to assuage the ache he'd created deep inside her woman's place.

He paused with his shaft pressed against her opening. "I offer you my body and all that I am, Emily of the Balmoral. Do you accept all that I am?"

There was only one answer she could give. "Yes."

"Do you welcome me into your body?"

"Yes. I want you to be part of me, Lachlan."

"I already am, lass, now and forever." He pressed inside then, his hardness stretching her to the point of pain.

She whimpered.

He brushed her face with an incredibly gentle hand that shook. "You must relax your body, love. It is not enough that I take you, but you must will your flesh to accept me."

"I don't know how." Though it was what she wanted. So much.

Reaching down, he touched her sweetest spot with his thumb. The light circular caress sent pleasure shooting through her and she arched up for more. He gave it to her, touching her again and again with the gentlest of strokes.

"That feels so good," she moaned.

"Aye. Think only of the pleasure, love." His voice sounded strained.

She tried, and found herself relaxing around his manhood. He rocked his pelvis, pushing himself inside farther and farther until he hit a barrier that made her cry out and try to scoot back from him in pain.

He held her in place with his heavy body. "This will hurt. I do not know of a way to prevent it." But he wished he could. She could see it in his glowing eyes.

That comforted her as no words could have. "A short, sharp pain is better than a long, drawn-out one," she whispered.

He nodded and thrust, breaking through the barrier and embedding himself to the hilt.

She cried out in pain, tears leaking out of her eyes, but she did not fight his possession. There would be pleasure beyond the pain. There had to be, or all women would join nunneries.

He held his body still and kissed her. "It will get better."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"But it hurts so much."

"I'm sorry, love." He kissed her again, renewing his ministrations with his thumb. The pain began to get lost in the pleasure.

It was not gone completely, but the pleasure grew until it was more consuming than the pain. She made a small move with her hips and he matched it, increasing the depths of his strokes until he was withdrawing almost completely before pushing back into her, every thrust bringing an intensity of pleasure that astonished her.

She could not help moving beneath him and he urged her on with words of praise and pleas for more. He was as much at her mercy as she was at his. That knowledge sent her pleasure spiraling out of control until their bodies locked together and he yelled something in Chrechte as they both shuddered their completion.

She told him she loved him again.

He collapsed on top of her and then rolled to his side, curving her into his body as if he could not bear to be apart even a few inches.

She did not know how much time had passed before he started speaking. "My father was a wise man, if hotheaded. He must have seen something in Ulf I did not early on. We all assumed it was Ulf's lack of a wolf nature that made our father change toward him, but I remember how Ulf reacted to the fact that he did not go through the change. Each month that went by during that year, he grew more and more sullen. He got into fights with other boys and used his position as laird's son to try to manipulate others. My father saw these things. He and my mother argued about them because she thought Ulf was just showing the tendency to lead."

"But Ulf said your father changed after he showed his lack of a wolf nature."

"Father and Ulf's relationship changed before that, but until I looked back at the past with the eyes of a man, I did not see it. I do think the fact that he was not a werewolf influenced how my father felt. My mother never accepted my father's beast completely and he never accepted the lack of a beast completely in his son. He was still hoping Ulf would go into the change late when he died."

"But he had already named you his heir."

"Because he did not see Ulf as fit to lead. Emily, I meant what I told my brother. If our children have your fierceness and your loyalty, I do not care if they have my wolf nature. You were right to accuse me of being blind."

"I wasn't that plain-spoken."

"Mayhap not, but it is what you meant. I blinded myself to my brother's true nature and the threat he represented, but I will not be blinded to your value, or that of our children if they are as fully human as you are."

"If we have children…" she said sadly.

He smiled at her. "Oh, we'll have them."

It was only then that she realized his mouth had not moved once the whole time he'd been talking.

"You mindspoke to me!"

"Yes."

"I want to try."

"Go ahead."

You owe me an apology
, she said with her thoughts.

He grimaced. "I do not like saying I'm sorry."

"I don't imagine you do. You're awfully arrogant."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, truly sorry for the accusations I made earlier today and for not recognizing how important you were to me to begin with."

Her eyes misted. "All right then. I'll forgive you this once, but if you ever do such a thing again, I'll put nettles on your side of the bed."

"We'll share the middle, but I have no doubt you'll find some way to make your displeasure felt."

"I'm glad you realize that."

"Now you will apologize to me."

"For insulting you when you first took us?"

"For looking at Talorc's cock with such interest."

"It wasn't interest, it was curiosity. Surely you can see the difference."

"From this point forward you will reserve such curiosity for me. Promise me this."

"I promise."

He waited.

"And I'm sorry, but I'm a very curious sort of person."

"I know, love, I know."

It was the second time he'd called her that. Perhaps it would not take until they were old and gray before he admitted his feelings. Being who she was, Emily simply asked outright, "Do you love me?"

His smile was warmer than the summer sun. "Can't you tell? I've told you twice now in Chrechte."

"Oh." But the daft man had not realized hearing the words in a language she understood would have made her choice to marry him so much easier. "Say it in Gaelic," she demanded.

He did. Then in English and Latin after that.

She was crying by the time he was done. He kissed her all over her face, sipping at her tears and then gently claiming her mouth in a tender connection that filled her with absolute certainty of his sincerity. Afterward, he kissed her once more on her temple. "I will love you to my dying breath."

"And I will love you just as long."

"You had better."

"Arrogant Chrechte."

"Precious mate."

She smiled, blinking away more tears of joy. He returned her smile and cuddled her into his side. Finally, they slept.