Murder at the Art & Craft Fair (2 page)

Chapter Two

As time passed, I continued to make changes in my
life. Just before I headed off to see my Jennifer, I anticipated that such a
day might come, so I invested in Sirius XM radio for Lightning. Lightning
seemed to perk up and feel better about herself. I considered getting her new
floor mats too, but the ones she had still looked okay. I did see that she got
washed and a good wax job, though. Nothing but the best for Lightning.

Before I headed out to see Jennifer, I got on the
computer and perused the channel listings for my new radio and found four of
them that sounded really good to me, 40s’s on 4, 50’s on 5, 60’s on 6, and
RadioClassics on Channel 82. I much prefer music the way it was back when you
could understand the words in the songs, even if all of them didn’t make sense,
when times were simpler and more minds were innocent. And many years ago I
happened upon some cassette tapes of radio shows that were popular long before
my parents met.

When I backed out of my driveway that day, on the way
to Jennifer’s, I hit the Favorites channel and zoomed in on RadioClassics. Even
though I’d heard tapes of a few shows, I knew little about most of the shows of
the 1940s and 1950s other than what an older person might have told me.

I must admit that a trip to see the woman with whom I
was infatuated was not the ideal time to christen RadioClassics, and I soon got
Jennifer mixed up with Our Miss Brooks and Gracie Allen. I don’t know why.
Jennifer didn’t sound like either one of them. At least I didn’t get her mixed
up with Lum & Abner, the two funniest guys I happened across on the radio.
An hour or so into my trip the programming changed, and comedy shows gave way
to detective shows.
Suspense, The Whistler,
and
Yours Truly, Johnny
Dollar
quickly became favorites of mine. And before I arrived at Jennifer’s
I grew to love some of the old detectives, like Sam Spade, Phillip Marlow, and
Nero Wolfe. I had gotten to know those guys through books, and suddenly I got
to hear what they sounded like on radio. I listened to more shows on the return
trip and soon learned that some people appeared on more than one show, and that
seven or eight different men played Johnny Dollar during the running of the
show, including the first man to play the insurance investigator, Dick Powell,
whom I had seen in many old movies.

+++

It wasn’t until after I returned home and I was able
to rid my mind of those sugarplum visions of Jennifer for a few minutes that I
began to look at my life, and my future. Did I want to make other changes? Or
had I already made enough to last me a few years? My head began to spin and my
thoughts turned to everything from completely retiring from the Hilldale Police
Department after Lou and I had trained someone else to solve this burg’s
murders, to traveling, to moving away from Hilldale, to getting married. Taking
an occasional vacation was the only one that didn’t involve making some big
decisions. Lou and I don’t live together now, but I certainly knew that he
wouldn’t be moving in with us if Jennifer and I got married, and I couldn’t
picture one of us solving murders if the other one retired, so I decided to
call him, see what he thought of my mid-life crisis, or whatever it was that I
was experiencing.

“Murdock and Dekker Investigations. This is the brains
of the outfit.”

“Only if you tied up with some other Dekker while I
was away.”

“I can’t think of any Dekker I’d want to be tied up
with. Now, a Spencer, that’s a different story.”

“Thelma Lou hasn’t come to her senses yet?”

“No, and neither has Jennifer, from what I hear. I
don’t know what she sees in you.”

“Less than someone used to be able to see in me,
thanks to you and Doc.”

“That reminds me of something, Cy. While you were gone
I started Exergaming.”

“Exer what?”

“Exergaming. Google it! I’m checking out pole dancing,
too.”

“I don’t think you’ve got the body for it, Lou.”

“Guys can do it, too.”

“I don’t want to even think about women tossing money
at you.”

“No, Cy! I mean at home.”

“Listen, Lou, in a way these strange ideas of yours
have to do with why I called you. What say we grab some lunch somewhere, talk
over a few things, then maybe drop by Scene of the Crime and see if they have
any books we don’t have?”

“Am I going to dread what you want to talk about?”

“Less than me envisioning you pole dancing.”

“Okay, what time are you picking me up?”

“I’m not. You still weigh too much. You’ll have to
walk out to Lightning on your own, but give me an hour. That will give me time
to Google exergaming.”

“And give me time to talk you out of whatever fool
ideas you might have.”

+++

It didn’t take me long after I typed “exergaming” that
I realized I was already doing it. Wii Fit was a type of exergaming. So were
some of the other Wii games I’d added to my life; tennis, boxing, bowling, to
name three. I’d even started playing a lot of table tennis on the Wii. I was
surprised at how quickly I got tired playing it, but at least the ball never
rolled under the couch. From what I could tell dance games were the new craze.
I planned to ask Lou if he’d gotten into any of them. I might be willing to try
some of them, but I was ruling out pole dancing, unless Jennifer suggested it.
And I sure wasn’t going to wear a tutu when I danced, even if no one else could
see me. Thoughts of being watched while I Wiied made me wonder if George
Orwell’s
1984
had come to be by way of YouTube and camera phones. At
least I was thankful that I didn’t own a cell phone, and I had no idea how to
put anything on YouTube. But then I knew all my friends except Lou had cell
phones, and I was sure most of my friends could put something on YouTube and
Facebook, so I knew I had to watch myself. I wanted to still be able to go out
in public without people snickering when they saw me.

I’d gotten comfortable with several exercises and had
worked out an exercise plan for every week. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I
do aerobic exercises. Mondays and Fridays I usually stick to Wii Fit, warm up
with Basic Step, move on to Advanced Step and Hula Hoop, and end up with
Running, until I huff and puff and stop somewhere short of cardiac arrest. I’m
at the point now where I can complete over half of the Ten Minute Run before I
start huffing and puffing like I used to do ten seconds into my workout. On
Tuesday and Thursdays I work on Strength exercises. I was lousy when I started
the Strength exercises, so bad that most of the time I couldn’t even score one
point, or last more than two or three minutes. So, I made it a point to
continue with one exercise until I’d mastered it well enough that I had a
decent score. Then, I moved on to the next Strength exercise. While I’m good at
aerobics, I haven’t moved on too far with the Strength exercises. My exercise
sergeant yells at me a lot. On days I do strength exercises, I work in a little
Yoga and Balance exercises, too. While I wouldn’t call myself flexible, I would
call myself improved.

At least one day a week is playtime. That is a day
when I turn to games most people play with real balls, or real boxing gloves.
This is better than the real thing, because I never have to chase down a real
tennis ball, or look for a golf ball that has gone astray. And I don’t get hurt
when I lose a boxing match. Oh, I can be a little sore the next day, but my
face doesn’t look like I lost a fight with a gorilla. Okay, maybe it does look
that way, but it already looked that way when I got up.

I try different approach spots while bowling, without
having to pay for each game, always hoping to set a new high score. I feel a
little guilty on the days I play games, like it isn’t really exercising, so I
go a little longer. Depending on the exercise, and how much it takes out of me,
I’m liable to go an hour and a half or two hours. Of course, I can’t go that
long on the days I’m boxing or playing tennis, but I can easily play a few
rounds of golf, provided I don’t get upset when my score is way over par. I
still have that one hole every now and then when I’m so far over par it ruins
my entire round.

I read an article a while back that said that over
ninety percent of the people who are trying to lose weight need to include both
exercise and diet in order to lose weight, which was what my doctor ordered me
to do. So, I’ve changed what I eat. I’ve experimented and come up with foods I
can tolerate, even enjoy. My breakfast consists of either a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich on whole wheat, without overloading the peanut butter and jelly,
or I eat a whole grain cereal with almonds or walnuts and blueberries or
strawberries. I pour almond milk over it, gulp it down, wait an hour or so, and
then exercise. On days that I exercise early to avoid the heat, I eat one
square of dark chocolate before exercising. Even though I’m indoors with
air-conditioning, I still sweat if it’s warm outside.

Most of the time, lunch is a sandwich, either peanut
butter and jelly, if I eat cereal for breakfast, or an egg salad sandwich,
again on whole wheat. I used to detest whole wheat, but now I’ve gotten used to
it. And occasionally, I’ll eat a grilled chicken breast sandwich.

A lot of times dinner is a salad with Romaine lettuce,
spinach, and purple cabbage, tomato, broccoli, cucumber, maybe some egg,
possibly a little cheese without overdoing it. Most nights I add a cut-up
chicken breast or some flaked salmon. The only way I’ve stuck to the old days
is that I still can’t stand any dressing I can see through, so I go with a
small amount of Thousand Island or Blue Cheese. Because I’m pretty good on
everything else I eat, I can get away with this.

Each day, I allow myself some snacks, usually one in
the morning and one in the afternoon. I eat an apple a day, usually a Fugi
apple, and if I haven’t eaten any peanut butter, I smear some of that on the
apple slices. And if I don’t have a chocolate square before exercising, later
in the day, I eat one Ghirardelli dark chocolate 72 percent cacao square, which
is a lot less than the number of Hershey Almond candy bars I used to eat, one
almond and surrounding chocolate at a time. And if I haven’t had any nuts in my
cereal, I will eat a handful of almonds or walnuts at some point during the
day.

This sure is a far cry from my former life, where the
only exercise I got was walking from the car to the Blue Moon or walking a
crime scene, and the food I fix myself is much different than what I used to
eat out. But occasionally I’ll deviate from my routine. Lou and I will go
somewhere for lunch or dinner. But when we do, we don’t pig out like we used to
do. Oh to have the metabolism of those people who can eat anything at any time
of the day or night and never gain weight.

Chapter
Three

I quit thinking about food and exercise long enough to
dart out the door and head to Lightning. I considered waiting to leave until my
next-door neighbor came charging down my driveway, but then I brushed aside
those thoughts and hoped God wasn’t going to punish me for thinking them.

A few minutes later, I pulled up in front of Lou’s
place. He came jogging out the front door. Yes, jogging! He about tore
Lightning’s door off, plopped down on the seat, and turned and grinned at me.
I’d known Lou long enough that I knew when he grinned it was bad for me. I
waited him out, and I didn’t have to wait long.

“So, Cy, how do you feel about Zumba?”

“Let’s see, Zumba is either the maid your parents had
when you were little, a witch doctor, or the name of the latest rapper.”

“Cy, you know my parents didn’t have a maid when I was
little.”

“I like it when we are able to narrow our list of
suspects so quickly.”

“You might want to add to it first. While there may be
a rapper or a witch doctor, neither of those is my Zumba. It doesn’t look like
you spent much time looking up exergaming before you came to pick me up, so I
guess I’d better clue you in, Clueless. Zumba is the latest craze. Well, it
could be twenty years old, but it’s the latest as far as I’m concerned.”

“Whatever it is, I’m not interested.”

“But everybody’s doing it, Cy.”

“All the more reason why I’m not interested.”

“Cy, Zumba is the in thing in exergaming. I guess you
can call it a dance.”

“Feel free to call it whatever you like. I’m not
interested. Now, since you’re my best friend, I’m perfectly willing to come
over to your place and watch you Zumba to your heart’s content.”

“I guess you’re right, Cy. I don’t think you’re ready
for Zumba yet. Maybe you should try Just Dance 3.”

“Whatever happened to Just Dance 1 and 2?”

“I think you’re beyond that already.”

“They don’t call me Twinkle Toes for nothing.”

I’d barely gotten the words out when I realize that
I’d just given myself the same nickname as my next-door neighbor’s dog.
Luckily, Lightning had pulled into Burkman’s parking lot before I got myself
into any more trouble. I refrained from telling Lou that when I came over and
watched him do any of these forms of exergaming, I’d spring for buying a game
of my own if any of them looked good to me. And I wouldn’t hesitate to watch
Jennifer anytime she wanted to Zumba. Maybe Lou was on to something.

+++

After Lou and I were seated, we were approached by a
server who looked familiar from those nights when Lou and I used to pig out
there. The look on our server’s face seemed somewhere between bemusement and
amusement when Lou and I each ordered a pitcher of water with lemon. When he
figured out we were serious he retreated to locate our beverages. It took him
two trips, but he returned with two pitchers of water, two glasses, and a bowl full
of lemons. He inquired as to whether or not we were ready to order, and we
said, “Yes.” Lou went first.

“I’ll have the spinach salad with salmon and raspberry
vinaigrette dressing.”

“I’ll have what he’s having, only make my dressing
Thousand Island.”

Our server merely stood there and smiled. After a
brief silence, he said, “What do you really want?” He did remember us. It took
almost a minute for me to convince him that we were serious.

Most of the lunch crowd had cleared out before Lou and
I arrived at Burkman’s, and no one was seated close enough to us to overhear
our conversation. After Lou and I shared a chuckle about our server, Lou could
control himself no longer.

“So, what’s all the urgency about getting together,
Cy? Did you decide to get married? You didn’t elope while you were gone on this
trip, did you, Cy?”

“I wanted to, but her daddy kept standing over me
holding a shotgun.”

“And you didn’t arrest him?”

“It was out of my jurisdiction.”

“Forget the elope thing. Did you decide to get
married?”

“Why, have you and Thelma Lou decided to tie the
knot?”

“I’m not much good at tying knots. Remember we skipped
the Boy Scouts thing. It was too much like a junior Army. But I have thought
about marriage a time or two. Thought about it. Not bought a ring. But, it
wouldn’t take much to convince me, but I don’t want to abandon you, and I don’t
think you’ve known Jennifer long enough to ask her hand in marriage, although I
do think you’d probably be good for each other. After all, she’s Thelma Lou’s
cousin, so it’s not like we have to check out her past.”

“Lou, she does have a checkered past. I blame it on
those red-and-white vinyl tablecloths at that diner where she used to eat all
the time.”

“That wasn’t her. That was you. And, remember, we
always ate at the counter, and we didn’t have a tablecloth. We did have
napkins, but I don’t remember you ever using one.”

“That was you, my friend, back when you ate real food,
and wiped your mouth on your sleeve.”

“Cy, I thought this was going to be a serious
conversation.”

“Okay, Lou, as you know, I really like Jennifer, but
I’m not ready to rush into marriage. Marriage is a big step. I don’t want to
trip. Still, I wouldn’t mind spending more time with her.”

“Are you telling me that you’re moving down to where
she lives and I’m on my own? Is that what this lunch date is all about?”

“Lou, I would never consider any meal alone with you a
date. And no, I don’t plan to leave you and move where Jennifer lives. But
remember, she has talked about moving up here. And anyway, if I ever leave
Hilldale, it would be to move to Lexington. I know it’s only an hour away, but
I would never move there unless I did a trial test of spending a few weeks
there. And I’m not sure I’d ever move there unless you did. How do you feel
about that?”

“I’m glad I mean so much to you, Cy. It must be those
birthday and Christmas presents I give you each year. The only way I’d ever
consider moving is if Thelma Lou and I decide to get married, and even then I’m
not sure I want to go to the big city. Still, I agree with you. Lexington is
the only place I’d consider leaving Hilldale for. Of course, even an hour is
pretty far to commute to a murder investigation each day.”

“Glad you brought that up. That’s something else I
wanted to talk to you about.”

Lou and I talked and ate for close to an hour and
found out that we thought similarly about everything. We’d seriously consider
teaching someone else the ropes of a homicide investigation, just in case we
wanted to be free to go and do whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to
do it, whether we moved away or not. And both of us knew that we weren’t
getting any younger, so we’d better get in better shape while we’re still able.
Lou had already done a good job of it. He’d already lost over fifty pounds. He
was well on his way to being down to one human being. While I was far from
that, the over twenty pounds I’d lost helped me to look a little less like a
float in a Macy’s parade.

+++

With no set time to do anything, we took our time
eating and talking and then got up, walked out, and rejoined Lightning. We were
off on our way to Scene of the Crime to add a few mysteries to our collections.

The owner, Myrtle Evans, smiled when we walked in. For
her, each time we walk in she must feel like someone has remembered her in
their will. Well, we don’t buy that much, but with the two of us buying copies
of the same books, any day we walk into her bookstore her day goes from an okay
day to a good one.

“Why, hello boys. I’m sorry, but I haven’t had a
chance to select some books for you.”

“That’s okay, Mrs. E. We’ve got plenty of time. We’ll
just browse and pick out a few new books to read.”

She smiled again.

Lou and I always buy the same books, read them in the
same order, and discuss each book after we finish it. For the next forty-five
minutes we walked those wooden floors in and out of rooms named Cozy, Police
Procedural, FBI/CIA, Historical, Classics, and a couple of others. The aisles
of Scene of the Crime were wide enough to accommodate the shopping carts both
of us pushed, as, a little at a time we loaded our carts with our selections.
Our choices included
Tripwire
by Lee Child,
Hour Game
by David
Baldacci,
Plum Island
by Nelson DeMille,
Transfer of Power
by
Vince Flynn,
The Tenth Justice
by Brad Meltzer,
Dead in the Water
by Stuart Woods,
The Black Echo
by Michael Connelly,
Design for
Murder
and
Scandal in Fair Haven
by Carolyn Hart,
Death of an
Expert Witness
by P.D. James,
The Canary Murder Case
by S.S. Van
Dine,
The Case of the Curious Bride
by Erle Stanley Gardner, and
Death
of the Nile
by Agatha Christie. Thirteen books. Thirteen hardback books.
What a fitting number for a reader of mysteries. Over $300 worth of books each.
Barring any more murders, my next few weeks were set. Wii and read. Read and
Wii. What more could a guy want? And then my thoughts turned to Jennifer. How 
much did I want to see her? Was it every now and then, or did I want to share a
commode seat and a toothbrush with the love of my life? I settled that last
part quickly. If we married, the house would have at least two bathrooms and
two toothbrushes. Two tubes of toothpaste, too. I didn’t know where she
squeezed the toothbrush. Probably in the middle. At least that’s where she
squeezed me, her main squeeze. But I had to put Jennifer aside for a while, if
I wanted to get any reading done. Maybe I would dream about my love life when I
went to bed, but I was ready to be a crime fighter, without actually leaving my
house and fighting any crime.