My Only - Alex & Jamie (17 page)

Alex looked up and, for the first time since he met her, Jamie looked totally happy, like she didn’t have a care in the world. “That’s your favorite part, huh?”

He hadn’t meant anything sexual by it, but by the look on her face she had taken it that way. Her eyes widened and she nervously bit her bottom lip. He heard himself groan and she immediately released her lip.

“So this ‘no dating’ thing - is that set in stone, or is there any wiggle room?” he asked, trying to address what was happening between them without putting her on the spot.

She smiled as she looked down at her hands and said with a little shakiness in her voice, “I think,” she took a deep breath, “it’s set in stone.”

“Okay, well if that changes, let me know,” he said, trying to keep his tone light and casual.

She looked up at him and with a strength that he had not heard moments before she said, “You’ll be the first.”

He knew that in no way was that any kind of guarantee that she would in fact change her mind, but for some reason it made him happy, really happy. She had just given him a ray of hope.

“So after the stripper left…” She continued

“Hold on,” he said as he set down his fork and stood up, “Did he strip? Here? For you?”

He saw amusement dancing in Jamie’s champagne-colored eyes and the corners of her mouth twitched, it made him realize how jealous he had just sounded. Man, what was this girl doing to him?

“He tried. He even brought musical accompaniment - Let’s Get Physical – but I stopped him. In fact he never even made it off the porch,” she said happily.

Alex sat down as relief washed over him.

He picked up his fork to continue eating but then had to set it back down, “He was gonna strip on my porch?”

“I know!” Jamie’s arms flew up, “that’s what I thought, too! But yes, I do believe if I hadn’t stopped him all of your neighbor’s would have gotten a show.”

He smiled, “Well Mr. Tyson might thank you for your efforts, but I think if Mrs. Branson finds out what she missed she may come after you with her slipper.”

Jamie laughed and it was like music to his ears.

He took a deep breath as he tried to stop his heart from falling any more than it already had. “Well, I can see why you got sidetracked.”

“Oh no, that’s not all.”

He looked up in surprise. What more could there be?

“Actually, those were the good ones. The other ones aren’t nearly as exciting.” She scrunched her nose and pursed her lips as though she was disappointed by that fact.

He laughed and before he could stop himself said, “You are so damn cute.”

She just shook her head as if she didn’t believe that she was and continued, “So then, Chelle and Riley came by and they hadn’t been here five minutes before that redhead from the hospital showed up. But Riley laid down the law and told her that you weren’t up to company and that she and her friends should not come back until they hear from you.”

“Then they won’t be coming back.” As soon as he said it he knew it was the truth. He had absolutely no interest in seeing anyone who wasn’t Jamie. Even if she ‘didn’t date.’ Alex thought, all that meant was that he was going to be single, really single, for a while.

“And while he was here,” she continued, the look in her eye told him she hadn’t missed the significance of his last admission, “He unplugged the phone. It had been ringing off the hook and he said anyone who needed to get a hold of you could reach you on your cell.”

“Good,” Alex said, relieved that Riley had done that, “Only the guys at the station and my family have my cell. Everyone else has my land line.”

Jamie looked at him as if she were trying to figure out a riddle, which maybe she was. He knew that he himself had been struggling for a while now to try to reconcile his past love life with the man he was today. The two things just did not seem to compute.

In his teens, hooking up with random women had been easy and fun. He’d never liked drama. He had had plenty of that with his mom in his early years, and from what he had seen of his friends' relationships all through his teen years, they were
overflowing
with drama. So, he had avoided anything close to a commitment.

Then when he had been in the Navy, commitment hadn’t even really been an option, especially once he had become a SEAL. It was next to impossible to maintain a healthy relationship when you were gone for months at a time, sometimes leaving at a moment’s notice. And that was if you were
already
in a committed relationship. In his opinion,
starting
a relationship at that time would have been a recipe for disaster.

Then, once he came home to Harper’s Crossing, he hadn’t intended to step back into the role he had played in high school - but he had. It was what he knew, it was comfortable, and he wasn’t going to lie - it had been fun. It’s not like he had been hurting anyone, since everyone he was with knew his “MO.” Hell, most the time his reputation was the reason they wanted to be with him.

But, he had to admit, it had been growing old for some time now. He had started feeling like he was just doing it because that is what people expected him to do, and it had bothered him. Truth be told, there wasn’t a whole lot in Alex’s life he was proud of, but the one thing he that had always taken pride in was that he was true to himself. For the last year or so, he hadn’t felt like that had been the case.

Growing up he had always questioned if there actually were healthy, loving relationships in this world. His questions started from seeing what his Dad had gone through, first dealing with his mom’s erratic and sometimes dangerous behavior, and then her leaving him to raise five boys alone. Later, when he was in the service, seeing the things his buddies had gone through in their relationships solidified those doubts.

In fact, he had kind of put the concept of true love in the category of the tooth fairy, unicorns, and Santa Claus. Sure, some children believe in them, but they weren’t real. He had thought that true love, soulmates, and happily ever after were just adult versions of those childlike beliefs.

Then he saw his brothers falling in love, finding their soulmates, and he knew that what they had found was the real deal. If it had only been one of them, he would have thought that it was an anomaly. But with three of them finding their ‘person’ - that had to mean it was possible, for some people at least.

Now, as he sat in front of Jamie, he wondered if it was possible for him. He knew that the road would possibly be bumpy, long and riddled with an assload of potholes, but he had seen his brothers travel it and he saw what the payoff was when you didn’t pull over and give up.

“What?” she asked, touching her nose, her cheek and her mouth, “Do I have mustard on me or something? We had hotdogs for dinner. I always get mustard on either my face or clothes.”

He didn’t think he would ever get over how damn cute she was. Smiling he assured her, “You don’t have any mustard on your face.”

“Oh,” she said looking a little confused.

Alex knew he couldn’t tell her what he had just been thinking about, he knew that would scare her and probably cause her to put up more walls than she already had in place. He thought that just dealing with the obstacle course of protection she had already guarded her heart with would be challenging enough without adding to it. He was trying to come up with some other explanation for his stare-a-thon when her phone beeped.

She popped up out of her chair and retrieved it from her purse. Her shoulders slumped as she walked back over to the chair typing.

“Is everything alright?” Alex asked.

She exhaled harshly through her nose and briskly nodded her head, “Yes. I asked Hazel to only page me if Joey wasn’t feeling well. Like, to let me know if his inhaler wasn’t doing the trick and she needed to give him a treatment.”

“He has asthma?” Alex asked feeling an onslaught of concern and a driving desire to protect both Joey and Jamie fill his body.

“Yeah, it’s not too bad, though. And since I was able to get a nebulizer for the house we haven’t had to make any emergency room visits, so that’s good.”

“Is he okay? We should go.” Alex hadn’t meant to include himself in that statement. They weren’t a ‘we.’ Joey was
her
son. But she didn’t really seem to notice, just shook her head.

“No, he’s fine. Hazel let him use her phone to text and ask for an extra Go-Gurt for their Shrek marathon.”

Alex couldn’t believe how happy hearing her say that had made him, not only because Joey (a kid he had never even met) was fine, but also because it was one of the first normal day-to-day things she had ever shared with him.

“So what was the verdict?”

“I told him he could.” She shrugged as she smiled. “I mean it’s a Shrek marathon. How could I say no to that?”

“You’re a good mom.” He knew that it was a big statement to make because he had never even seen her interact with her son. Also, it wasn’t a compliment he took lightly because of what he had gone through as a child with his mom.

Unlike when he had told her she was cute, or that he loved her eyes, this compliment seemed to really hit home with her.

“Thanks.” She took a deep breath and he saw that her eyes were getting little misty. “I try.”

That was it, the clincher. If he hadn’t been completely certain of his feelings for Jamie before that moment, he was now. The fact that the only compliment that had really affected her was not about her appearance but her being a good mom had let him know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was head over heels in love with this girl. She was it, she was his ‘person.’ Now he just had to make sure that he was hers.

“Can I see your phone real quick?” he asked.

She gave him a strange look and hesitated for a moment before handing it over.

He quickly typed something into it, his thumbs flying across the keys, and handed it back to her. “Now you have my cell number.”

She looked down and he saw a small smile cross her face. She typed something into her phone and set it down.

A few seconds later he felt a vibration in his pocket, he pulled out his phone and saw he had a text from a number he didn’t recognize. He smiled as he opened it and read, “And now you have mine.”

Sure, it may not be a declaration of love or even a green light that she was ready to start dating, but it was a something. A step in the right direction and he would gladly take it. He had never been so happy to have a girl’s number in his life. Yep, he was definitely a goner.

A feeling of déjà vu came over Jamie as she sat nervously in her car outside Alex’s house. Even though the reasons for her nervous state were different today than they had been yesterday, the results were the same. She was having a very hard time getting out of her car and going inside.

Today, instead of holding a paper with an address in her shaking hand, she held a key. A key! Yesterday before she had left to go home, Alex had given her a key to his house. He explained that he wanted to keep the deadbolt locked and he planned on spending most of the time in his room resting, so he wasn’t sure if he would hear her knock.

The gesture seemed…intimate, and it had completely freaked her out, so she had reminded him that she had his cell number and she could just text him when she got there. He had countered with the argument that he may be sleeping and wouldn’t hear his phone. Then he had smiled the smile that she was now mentally referring to as the “Alex Sloan All Access Pass” due to the fact that she was pretty sure that there was not a single thing in the world that he couldn’t make happen with that smile, and said “Take the key, Jamie.”

So she had taken the key. And now here she was, with his number in her cell phone and his key on her key ring. Oh how much things can change in twenty-four hours.

She had hoped to get some time before coming here today to sort out the avalanche of emotions and confusion that had fallen down on her. But no such luck. She had just barely had enough time to sleep, spend time with little man, and finish his Batman costume. When he was three and wanted to be Spiderman for Halloween, she had made his costume out of sheer necessity. She didn’t have the money to buy a new one. The same thing was true last year when he had been a ninja.

This year, she could have afforded to go with a pre-made costume, but when she had suggested they go shopping for it, Joey had looked at her as if she was off her rocker. He explained that if they did that he would just be a “normal” Batman, but if she made him his own special costume, he would be a “super” Batman because no one else would have a costume like his.

You can’t argue with a five-year-old's logic, so she had agreed to sew his costume, adding that, of course, that made perfect sense and she didn’t know what she had been thinking. He had seemed happy that she had seen the error of her ways and threw his arms around her neck, telling her he loved her.

She sighed. Moments like that were what she lived for. They were all that were important to her. Nothing else really mattered.

Which was precisely the reason that she knew that she needed to put a lid on whatever feelings she was starting to have (or already did have) for Alex. Getting involved with him, with anyone, would put moments like those in jeopardy.