My Stupid Girl (55 page)

After the family was seated, a simple piano
song started up as the pastor came out and positioned himself front and center.
Next to me stood Isaiah, Johnny, my birth father, and Sean as my groomsmen. I
looked out at the crowd, recognizing almost everyone. I had met a lot of my
extended birth family a few days before the wedding. I couldn’t believe how
many aunts, uncles, and cousins had shown up to see me get married.

The piano stopped playing and I turned
around to the pianist to figure what was wrong. This was not what we had
rehearsed the day before.

But before I could get the pianist’s
attention I heard some music playing softly from a speaker. It sounded like a
trumpet. It was a song I had heard before, but I couldn’t place it.

I thought that there had been some kind of
mistake until I heard the words and I realized what Lucy had done.

Oh, she may be weary…

Them young girls, they do get wearied.

Wearing that same old miniskirt dress.

But when she gets weary,

you try a little tenderness.

No one came down the aisle, everyone just
chuckled and looked around, waiting for something to happen. I looked behind me
at my friends and father who all had big, stupid grins on their faces. They
must have been in on the song choice my lovely fiancé had chosen for me. The
next verse, I saw the curtains move and Lucy’s cousin came out, wearing her
tea-length sage-green dress and holding her yellow orchid bouquet. She was
grinning like a wildcat, also in on the switcheroo.

Oh man that -- un hunh

I know she’s waiting, just anticipating

the thing that you’ll never, never
possess.

Behind Lucy’s cousin appeared Evelyn,
looking stunning.

Her black curly hair cascaded down over her
shoulders, and her little attitude was amazing, wearing a wide smile and getting
funky with the beat. I felt Isaiah shift next to me. I knew the boy was
impressed; even though we had just seen her, there was something different
about Evelyn with that bouquet in her hands and the beat in her step. If he was
any kind of smart he was imagining her walking down the aisle towards him right
now. And Isaiah was a smart guy, as much as he tried to hide it.

No, no, no. But while she’s there
waiting…

Try just a little bit of tenderness;
that’s all you got to do.

Now it might be a little bit sentimental,
but she has her grieves and cares.

But the soft words, they are spoke so
gentle, yeah, yeah, yeah; and it makes it easier to bear.

Oh she won’t regret it…

Jennika walked down the aisle, holding
Lydia. Both of them were moving with some swagger, Lydia mostly just gleaming
because she had the attention of the whole room.

Behind them came one of Lucy’s little
cousins and my brother, Dillon. Dillon was jumping up and down with excitement,
and forgetting to take time to walk slowly. The music was picking up and it was
too much for the little guy to try to be sedate.

No, no. Them young girls, they don’t
forget it; love is their whole happiness. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it’s all so easy: all you got to do
is try -- Try a little tenderness! Yeah!

Then I saw her. Lucy emerged, walking
slowly down the stairs that were facing the big, open doors that led into the
sanctuary. She looked so incredibly beautiful I almost forgot to breathe.

My bones liquefied and I turned into a
puddle with eyeballs and an eyebrow ring.

She paused, letting the next few lines play
out.

All you got to do is know how to love
her!

You've got to:

Hold her!

Squeeze her!

Never leave her!

Now get to her!

Got! Got! Got! To try a little
TENDerness!

She took Mr. Peterson’s arm and began walking,
staring straight into my eyes the entire time. Her dress was stunning, an ivory
color. The left sleeve went up around her shoulders, leaving the other
completely bare. It had tiny pearl beading all over it and the train stretched
a few feet behind her.

Bright red Converse shoes popped out every
time she took a step, which, in my opinion, made the whole thing go together
perfectly.

She looked timeless, classy, and funky all
at the same time. She was tiny, her little arms and neck were more slender than
they used to be, and her cheekbones stood out. But her chest, courtesy of
nursing (she claimed) was ginourmous. On top of that, her little waist fanned
out to hips that looked like they should be walking down the aisle by
themselves, with the way they were moving to the beat. Lucy Peterson had gone
from girl to woman, and I was the guy that got to marry her.

Good. Day.

Lucy stopped, getting a kiss from her dad,
then looking at me just long enough to mouth the words, “you've got, got, got
to try a little tenderness!”

That was the last line and everyone started
applauding for the girls and laughing at my face, probably because my jaw was
on the floor. Once everyone calmed down, the pastor smiled and spoke.

“
Who
gives this woman to marry this man?”

“
Her
mother and I do.” Mr. Peterson’s voice surprised me. I’d forgotten anyone was
in the room. He chuckled when I jumped, shook my hand, put Lucy’s hand inside
mine, and walked down to the first row to sit with Lucy’s mom. I kept Lucy’s
hands locked in mine. I knew stuff was supposed to be happening right now but I
had to talk to her.

“
Oh
my gosh; you look amazing! It’s insane how gorgeous you are!” Lucy bit her lip
and put her shoulders up with excitement.

The ceremony was quick and completely
unconventional. It was so us!

The part that got the biggest laugh was
when the pastor proclaimed that we might have to leave early because we had
kept ourselves, since the moment of our engagement thirteen months before, for
our wedding night.

Isaiah punched my shoulder, I heard a few
wolf calls, and I was thrilled. It was the only real thing that I could think
to give Lucy. I wanted her to realize how important she was to me and that she
was worth waiting for.

Don’t get me wrong; it was hard. I almost
didn’t follow through with my resolution on several different occasions. But it
was something that I knew I wanted. Not just for her, but for Lydia. I wanted
to be able to tell my daughter that I waited, and suffered in the waiting, for
my wife and that Lydia was also worth the wait.

When the pastor told me I could kiss my
bride, after our heartfelt, teary, and 100% cheesy personal vows, I scooped her
up in my arms, bent her backwards, and planted a kiss on her that got us a
standing ovation. I brought her back up for air and she started to laugh that
loud, obnoxious laugh I had first fallen in love with. The pastor shouted over
the clapping and laughter.

“
May
I present to you, for the first time ever, Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson!” We
turned around so we were facing the audience and were met with accelerating
applause.

Michelle and Rachel were both clapping
happily and I saw my birth mother in the front row, on my side, wiping tears
out of her eyes. My adopted father, who was sitting right next to her, was
ignoring his discomfort to applaud wildly.

Jennika handed Lydia over to us and I took
her willingly.

I held my daughter in my arms and walked
down the aisle with my wife.

* * *

Lucy and I sat in the front of a big
theater that Mr. Peterson had managed to talk one of his clients into letting
us use. It was an old, 1930s theater with a giant stage flanked by gaudy
carvings in deep green and brown wood.

The ceiling was exquisite with grooves that
went around in swirls, highlighted by lights criss-crossing the patterns they
made.

The chairs in the theater were all
removable, so we were able to use the entire thing for our reception. Round
tables held giant floral centerpieces and people were buzzing around the big
buffet off to the left side. We didn’t get an open bar, because neither Lucy
nor I were old enough to drink yet.

“
You’re
my husband!” Lucy squealed in my ear as we walked in to another round of
applause.

“
I
am so happy right now,” I answered, pushing her curls behind her shoulders so I
could see the soft curve of them. We heard everyone in the theater clinking
silverware against their glasses, signaling us to kiss. We obliged willingly
and we were hooted and hollered at.

After everyone had eaten, the DJ started
speaking and everyone settled down to listen. He was leading into our first
dance, which I had been extremely nervous about. Lucy had dragged me to dance
lessons. The dancing part wasn’t so bad; I actually did a better job than she
did. But just thinking about dancing for a whole three minutes in front of all
these people was like a slow, torturous death.

“
Ladies
and gentlemen, I would like to call to the stage Mr. and Mrs. Johnson to share
their first dance!” The DJ had a calming voice which encouraged me to move,
holding Lucy’s hand, silently begging her not to do anything too silly to draw
even more attention to us.

As if every eye in the room was not glued
to us, anyway.

”
To
be Loved” by Jackie Wilson started playing and I took my wife in my arms, doing
the steps we had practiced so many times. We moved perfectly together. It felt
good to dance with her, lead her around on the dance floor, watching her eyes
sparkle and see her long arms extend when I spun her out. She was stunning: so
fluid, so remarkable. As Jackie crooned, “to be loved, what a feeling!” I felt
myself forgetting where my feet were. All I could focus on was Lucy’s beautiful
face and how amazing it was that I was looking into the eyes of my wife.

At the end of the song we climbed the steps
to the head table, where Isaiah patted my back.

“
Dude,
your new nickname is Dancing Queen.”

I shook my head and watched all of our
family and friends take our place on the dance floor, to start dancing to a
popular hip-hop song. I was going to respond with some snide comment but Isaiah
had completely forgotten that I existed. He was consumed with watching Evelyn
dance.

He put his fist under his chin and cocked
his head to the side. His jaw went slack and his tongue rolled out like that
wolf in the old cartoons. I was half expecting to see him bashing himself over
the head with a giant mallet.

I didn’t even have the heart to make fun of
him, he was so out of his element. Isaiah sat there and watched Evelyn for ten
whole minutes. Each new song made him look more and more pained, like he wanted
so badly to do something but couldn’t figure out what or how. Finally, I spoke.

“
Isaiah,
just ask her to dance!” I shoved him and his head snapped up, out of his
Evelyn-trance. He started sputtering something so incoherent it was obvious he
was arguing with himself about arguing with me before he even started telling
me off.

Right on cue, a slow song began. His face
become so completely defeated it almost alarmed me, but I knew just how he
felt. When he saw my smirk, though, he stood up resolutely. His slight limp
carried him over to the other side of the table where Evelyn had just sat to
wait out the slow song.

She looked startled when she saw him
standing next to her with his hand out. Her eyes were gazing longingly at his
fingers but she had a cautious look in her eyes, like she wouldn’t be surprised
if he snatched it away the second before they touched and yelled, “psych!”

He didn’t move his hand however, and when
she placed hers in his, he held it tight. Isaiah led Evelyn slowly out to the
dance floor and, to my complete surprise he grabbed her waist, pulled her into
him, and started rocking back and forth in perfect time with the music. He was
smiling at her. I elbowed Lucy and pointed; she gasped when she saw them
together. You would think, by the way that Isaiah treated Evelyn in public that
the two of them would look awkward trying to figure out the way the other one
moved.

But it wasn’t anything like that. The two
of them moved in sync, perfectly. I thought back to the prom and I realized
that had been over two years ago. Evelyn had been Isaiah’s little pet ever
since. (Or maybe it had been the other way around).

Isaiah placed his hand on Evelyn’s face,
bent down, and put his lips gently on her mouth. She swept his hair away from
her face and tucked it behind his ears, then held his cheek. It looked like
something they had done a million times before. It was a calming thing to watch
actually, like seeing two old married people. As the song ended, he kept her
hand in his, walked her back to her chair, and then limped back to his own
seat. I just looked at him, not saying a word.

“
Oh,
shut up.” He started eating his food silently.

Lucy and I had to walk around to greet, and
thank, everyone in the room. It wasn’t so bad. A few years ago I would have
considered it punishment, but how could I complain now, with my stunning wife
beside me? I was surprised that so many people asked us how we met. It gave me
an idea of what to say during my speech, right near the end of the reception.

After a series of clinking glasses and
kissing, I was handed the microphone. It was against everything in my nature to
stand up and talk in front of all of these people, but I couldn’t look a gift
horse in the mouth. It was time for some public thanks.

“
Lucy
and I want to thank you all for coming to our wedding.” Everyone applauded and
I felt my embarrassment start to rise. “A lot of people asked me tonight how I
met this stunning girl.” I looked over at Lucy, who was smiling so kindly at me
that I felt my throat close up and my eyes get watery. I didn’t care. I knew my
voice was cracking. I was just going to go with it.