My Sweetest Escape (29 page)

anything right now without a moan behind

it. That might be a problem.

He stopped kissing me and looked down

at my face. Why, why had he stopped? No

stopping.

“Oh, Red. What have I done?” He kissed

me on the forehead and climbed off me.

What. The. FUCK!

He stared down at me as if he’d made

some terrible, irreversible mistake. His face

was one of horror as he backed away from

me. If I wasn’t pissed that he’d stopped

kissing me, I might have laughed at the

situation happening in his pants.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m…I’m so

sorry. I have to go.” He looked at the stairs

as if they were his escape route from a

certain and imminent death.

I finally put some words together

without the moaning.

“Like that?” I didn’t have to point, but

he looked down.

“Fuck.”

Pretty much.

“Do you have a sweatshirt or something

I could borrow?”

His eyes were wide like he was a caged

animal. Damn, he was really freaking out,

and I didn’t see what the big deal was. Who

cared if he kissed me? I was an adult, nearly

nineteen. A few months ago, during my

crazy phase, I wouldn’t have thought twice

about it.

“Why don’t you just…take care of it?

Bathroom’s right there.” I pointed. I

wouldn’t seriously do that to him, but I was

still pissed about the nonkissing.

“Shit, Jos, please. I can’t…I can’t with

you here.” He put his hands over the area. I

could probably take care of it for him. Not

that I had much experience, but how hard

could it be?

He looked at the ceiling and closed his

eyes like he was concentrating on

something. I could be a total bitch and drag

this out if I wanted. Instead I got up and

went to my room, grabbing a sweatshirt

that I’d bought in the boys’ section of a

store that might be big enough for him.

“Here,” I said, coming back and handing

it to him. He tied it around his waist with

the main part covering his issue.

“Need a hand with that?”

I’d hoped he would laugh, but he just

looked hopelessly embarrassed. Well, that

was nice. Now I got to be on the other side

of it.

“You think this is funny?” Oh, now he

was the mad one.

“It is pretty funny. You know, unless

you’re you.” I smiled at him.

“I can’t have this, Jos. I can’t be like this

around you. I never should have been alone

with you like this. It won’t happen again.”

He turned to go up the steps, but I grabbed

the back of his shirt.

“Why? Why can’t it happen?” He faced

me slowly.

“Because…you’re off-limits.”

“Off-limits? What, you think my sister

would get pissed?

You’re really going to let that stand in

the way of this? Whatever this is, or could

be? She’ll get over it.”

He shook his head.

“No, it’s not that. It’s not just Renee.”

Now we were both frustrated.

“Will you do me a favor? Will you just be

straight with me, for five seconds?”

“I have to go, Jos. I’m sorry.” He jerked

away from me and took the stairs two at a

time before wrenching open the door and

slamming it behind him. I heard voices

above and then the front door close

seconds later. He’d gotten out of there like

he was on fire.

The door opened again to reveal

Hannah’s slack-jawed face.

“What the hell just happened?”

It was going to be a long night.

I filled Hannah in on most of the details,

mostly because the whole thing was so

unbelievable, I had to say it out loud to

make sure it had actually happened.

“Girl, he has it for you so bad.” Everyone

else had gone to bed, so Hannah had

sneaked into the kitchen and gotten snacks,

including a bag of M&M’s and Skittles that

I’d stashed in the back of the cupboard

behind the flour.

“Well, yeah, I guess he kinda does.”

Understatement.

“And by ‘bad’ I mean, he wants to take

you to pound town.”

I threw an M&M’s at her.

“You are disgusting.”

“He wants you on board his meat

rocket. He wants to put his basilisk in your

Chamber of Secrets.” I kept chucking candy

at her, but she didn’t stop and we were

both laughing so hard that the candy

missiles were ineffective.

“I swear, you know way too many of

those,” I said when she finally ran out.

“Well, I’ve put all that time not going on

dates to good use.”

“Clearly.”

I found an M&M’s in the blankets and

popped it into my mouth.

“Back to more important matters. How

was it?” Her eyes gleamed.

“It was…” How could I describe it? “It

was really good. He puts the ‘issing’ in

‘kissing.’”

“He wants to put his issing in
you.
”

It was much later that I finally went into

my room and went to bed and Hannah

went to sleep on the couch.

I was definitely too wired to sleep for a

while, so I listened to some music. It was an

Ingrid kind of evening, so I put “Can’t Help

Falling in Love” on repeat.

The moments with Dusty replayed

themselves in my mind, in slow motion, and

then sped up. I relived the feel of his mouth

capturing mine, his hands wrapping

themselves in my hair. And I’d been…yeah,

I’d never been like that. I hadn’t felt out of

control. It was more the opposite. It was ike

I knew what I wanted and how to get it with

complete and perfect clarity.

But it wasn’t going to happen again, at

least according to Dusty. What was his

deal? I was kind of done with him jerking

me around. I’d have to find a way to get

him to tell me.

Maybe I could kidnap him and tie him

up. That could be enjoyable. There were

lots of other things I could do if he was tied

up. I’d never seen the appeal before now.

My phone interrupted my visions of

Dusty tied to a chair.

I’d put it on vibrate, just in case he

decided to text or call and tell me he was

sorry. Again.

We need to talk.

Well, don’t be ominous at all, Dusty.

If I didn’t know exactly what it was about,

I’d be freaked out of my mind.

Go for it. I’m all ears.

My phone rang a few seconds later.

“Are you awake?” he said, his voice

almost a whisper, as if he was afraid of

waking me.

“Dude, if I was sleeping, I wouldn’t have

answered the text.”

“I guess that’s a good point.” I thought

he would laugh, but he didn’t. “Look, Jos.

What I did was completely inappropriate. I

took advantage of you and it won’t happen

again.”

“You took advantage of me? Um, what

kiss were you experiencing, because the

one I was sharing with you was pretty

fucking amazing. Like, earth-shattering and

fireworks and all that. If there were Kissing

Awards, that would have won in a

landslide.”

He took a few seconds to answer. He

sighed.

“It was pretty epic.”

“Pretty epic?”

“What do you want me to say, Jos? That

if I were in the same room with you that I’d

kiss you like that again? And again? And

again? I’d kiss you until we both forgot our

names. I’d want to take off that shirt and

those shorts and count every freckle until I

knew exactly how many you have.

And then I would taste every inch of you

until it was burned into my memory so I

could never forget it. And then…” He

stopped and I almost screamed in

frustration. While he’d been talking, my

hand had drifted down to my shorts so I

could find some release from earlier. I

burned with it.

“And then?!” I finally said.

“Jos, I’m not having phone sex with you

right now. Why do you keep doing that to

me?”

“Oh, do not blame this on me, buddy.

I’m not the one who tackle-kissed you. That

was all you. It’s not my fault you can’t keep

it in your pants. Or, you can, but it did not

look comfortable. How are you doing now?”

I may not have had a hard-on, but I was

definitely suffering from some sexual

frustration.

“Great. Just great.” Ha-ha. I smelled

another lie.

“So what are we going to do? If we can’t

be together, according to you, and you

can’t be around me without getting a bad

case of hard dick, what are we going to

do?”

This was all him.

“I don’t know, Jos. I just…I can’t see a

good way out.”

“You know you’re the only one standing

in the way of this, right? Unless there’s

something I don’t know about, which, if

there is, I think you should fucking tell me

because I’ve had it with people not telling

me things like I’m a child and I can’t handle

it.”

“I don’t think you’re a child.”

“Then why do you treat me like one?”

He exhaled one long breath.

“I knew about you. Before you came

here. When Hunter and I became friends he

invited me over a lot and I met Renee and

she was always talking about you. She was

pretty much at her wit’s end. Hunter

offered to let you come here and she told

your mom and you know that part of the

story.

You know, I don’t think I can do this over

the phone. Can I…can I come over?”

“You sure you’re going to be able to

control yourself?”

“Jos.”

I rolled my eyes, which he couldn’t see.

“Okay, okay. Everyone’s sleeping, but I think

I can get upstairs without waking everyone

up. I’ll come out to your car, okay?”

“I’ll text you when I’m out front.”

We hung up and I turned my music off. I

cracked my door open and looked at the

couch. I knew it was going to be cold as hell

outside, so I put some sweatpants on over

my shorts and a sweatshirt on. Additionally,

it would serve to cover my body to save him

from temptation. You couldn’t get much

unsexier than sweatpants and a baggy UNH

sweatshirt.

Ten minutes later my phone buzzed and

I crept out of my room and went up the

stairs. Hannah made a humming noise in

her sleep, so I figured I was good.

The house was dark and still. No sounds

even from upstairs. Good.

I was glad that Mase and/or any of the

other residents of the house weren’t

watching me anymore.

Dusty pulled right outside the house, the

headlights off. I crept down the porch and

ran down the walkway.

“Anyone see you?” he said as I closed

the door. He had the heat blasting, and I

wrapped my arms around myself. Even

after only seconds outside, I was cold.

“No, I think we’re good. It was quiet

upstairs and Han nah was sleeping. So,

continue.” I put my back against the door

and turned toward him.

“Where was I?” Oh, it was not my

imagination that he was still checking me

out, even with the sweats. He must really

have a thing for me. Or maybe he was

trying to get out of telling the truth.

“My eyes are up here,” I said, using my

fingers to point to my eyes. He cleared his

throat and blinked, and when he opened his

eyes, he was looking at my eyes and not my

chest.

Like he could even see it, all covered up

as it was.

“You were right about when Hunter told

Renee that I could stay with them.”

“Right. Well, I’d seen pictures of you. Of

how you used to be. Of course I thought

you were, well, you know you’re stunning,

Red. Even with your hair all pulled back and

in those straitlaced clothes. But I didn’t

think…” He stopped and took a breath. He

was usually so confident with words.

They seemed to come easily to him, but

he was having a tough time finding the right

ones.

“They asked me—specifically Hunter

asked me—to watch out for you. To make

sure you didn’t get into any trouble. He

knew that I had recently gotten myself out

of a lot of it, and he trusted me.”

I wished he wouldn’t have found those

words, because each one of them punched

me in the stomach with their meaning.

It wasn’t real. None of it was real. He’d

been forced to be friends with me because

Hunter asked him to. It had all been an act.

He had been playing a part. Saying his lines.

Only I didn’t know we were in a play. Just a

few minutes before he’d had me hotter

than I’d been in my life and now I was

ice-cold. Frozen.

“Fuck. You.” They were the only two

words I could come up with, and I hurled

them at him as hard as I could before I

fumbled for the door.

“Jos, wait! There’s more.” Yeah, I didn’t

want to hear it.

I finally got the door open and started

running back toward the house.

“Will you just listen, for fuck’s sake!” He