My Teenage Dream Ended (4 page)

I was nervous about him meeting my parents, but you could tell Derek had it worse—he was sweating from nerves. It made me laugh, to see him so anxious, and it felt kind of good, since I knew he wouldn’t be so nervous if he didn’t really like me and want to make a good impression on my parents.

After we posed for pictures outside, my parents told us to be safe and for me not to be out too late. Then off we went.

Our first stop was the house of one of the girls in our group, where I got to meet the other couples that would be with us.

I was the youngest in the group and it was a little awkward for me at first. Of all the couples, Derek and I had been dating for the least amount of time. The newness of our relationship made me feel a little out of place, but I wanted to ignore that and focus on having the night of my life.

Derek had made a deal with his sister to borrow her car for the night, so after more pictures we ended up going to Derek’s house to switch cars and drop his sister off at her boyfriend’s. It was a very strange experience; we stayed outside the whole time. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but it seemed like Derek was avoiding his mother and stepfather. On any other night I could understand doing that, but on prom night? That seemed odd to me.

Derek’s sister surprised me by asking to take pictures of me and Derek. I had gotten the impression from the first time we met that she didn’t like me, but now I thought maybe I had read her wrong and she was good with me dating her brother after all. I felt like at least this was a positive sign that she was warming to me.

After we dropped Derek’s sister off, we met our group of friends for dinner at a steak house. I totally enjoyed myself there. We all got along and had a great time and got to bond some more.

Then, suddenly, dinner was over and it was time for me to go to my first prom.

We arrived at the Mid-America Center, an enormous complex where they host everything from conventions and sporting events to proms and banquets. We took some fun photos in the entryway and said “hi” to everyone on the way in. It was like walking a red carpet—and I was Derek’s leading lady.

We got in line for our prom picture and Derek chatted with his buddies, while I worried about my dress holding together and how we were going to pose.

Finally the photographer called us up. She asked me to be on one side and Derek on the other. She told me to pose a certain way and lean in, and she asked Derek to put his hand by my bellybutton.

And that’s when everything got weird.

Derek put his hand on my crotch!

I’m still not sure if he put his hand there on purpose, but when it happened, it became obvious to me what was really on his mind and what he wanted at the end of the night. Everyone waiting in line saw. Our friends were laughing and Derek had turned bright pink from embarrassment.

I wasn’t laughing. I was mad. I thought,
Derek’s cool “no pressure” act and his claim to not want “anything” on prom night just went out the window.

Derek knew he was busted, too. He kept giving me this puppy dog “I’m sorry” look. To his friends, I played it off like I didn’t think it was that big of a deal—I didn’t want everyone knowing that he had embarrassed me—but I let Derek know I was annoyed. I couldn’t let him think it was okay that he had touched my crotch in front of everyone. Then he might think he had a chance to have sex with me that night—and that totally was not in my plans.

After the crotch incident, we went and found our group and sat down at our table. We took more pictures with different friends. We danced, ate, and drank. Everybody was talking about After Prom and all the after parties—there were a lot of them going on.

Then it was time for the final dance—the Senior Dance. Derek and I shouldn’t have been out on the dance floor, but our senior friends got us out there and it was one of those times in high school when you have to admit to yourself:
This is so damn great! I have the perfect date. I’m with the perfect group. I’m hanging with cool upperclassmen!

It really was the ideal prom—one that I didn’t want to end or to ever forget.

AFTER PROM

As we were leaving, a dark cloud began to gather over my perfect, dreamy prom. When we were heading out, a couple of Derek’s guy friends asked me, “Are you and Derek having sex?”

I was thinking,
It’s none of your fucking business!
But I didn’t want to be a bitch, so I bit my tongue and just said, “No way!”

Derek was standing right next to me when they asked, but he didn’t say anything. I felt totally awkward and uncomfortable. I was sure that Derek had told them I had said “yes” to sex on prom night, so I asked him, “Have you said anything to your guy friends about our sex life?”

Maybe it shouldn’t have been a big deal, but it felt like he had lied to me back when he had said, “no pressure,” that day at Sarah’s house. Now it seemed that by then he had apparently already told his friends that we would have sex on prom night.

Derek claimed that he hadn’t said anything and acted like it was nothing to worry about. I didn’t know what to believe, so I let it go.

We got ready to leave and when we walked outside it was pouring rain. Not just a few drops, or even a steady soaking rain—this was a torrential downpour. My heart sank. I couldn’t believe it. I thought,
Prom night cannot end like this!

Derek went and got the car and pulled it up for me so that I wouldn’t get wet. He had gotten soaked walking to the car, so he decided we should go back to his house so he could change out of his tux.

I figured that when we got there his parents would be up and I could finally meet them. I was psyched to tell them all about how prom went and all about our night and give them all the details parents usually love to hear. That’s what we would have done with my parents.

Instead, as we tried to dash through the rain into Derek’s house, we were stopped abruptly at the front door. From the doorway, his mom and stepdad stared at us and there was this huge awkward silence. When they finally spoke, they asked us why we were there. I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t speak.

Derek said, “I have to change out of my tux. It’s completely soaked.”

We started walking to his room, but were stopped again. “She can wait right here,” his mom said. I wondered if Derek might be in trouble with his mom. He hurried off to change and I just stood there in the doorway waiting in silence, while his mom and stepdad watched TV. When Derek came back he immediately said, “Let’s go,” so we just left.

As we were driving away, one of his friends called and said that their car got flooded and that they were trying to get it out. I turned to Derek. “I can totally believe their car got flooded!” It had been pouring so hard, I was sure that there would be flash floods in some places.

I asked Derek if he wanted to go to After Prom and do whatever lame activity had been set up for us, or if he wanted to call some friends to see where they were. I desperately wanted to salvage what was left of our night. He said that because of the rain, most of his friends had stayed at After Prom, but he clearly wasn’t in the mood to do that.

Instead, he started driving to my house.

I felt sad that the rain had ruined our after-prom fun, so when he parked outside my house I told him he should come in until the rain stopped. I figured if my parents were up we could tell them the situation and they would understand.

My parents were already asleep, so we let ourselves in and ran upstairs to my bedroom so I could dry off and change and we could get comfy. I had already made it clear that we were not having sex, so I figured it would be like all the other nights Derek and I had hung out in my room and he hadn’t tried anything.

I went to the bathroom to change and came back to lie down with Derek, snuggle up, and get some sleep. But he said, “I can’t sleep.”

I was exhausted, but I turned to him and mumbled, “Okay. Let’s talk then.”

Derek took my hand. “Can we please try having sex? I promise it will be special. This is our first prom together…Please.”

I just looked at him.

“
Please?
” Derek wheedled. “It can be my birthday present.”

When I didn’t say anything, he changed tactics. He started making out with me and going below the belt with his hands.

He was fighting dirty. My body felt amazing and he was turning me on by doing this thing with his tongue in my ear.

Then he whispered, “Let’s just try it and I’ll stop if it hurts you.”

In the end it wasn’t the pressure from his friends or even from him. I was just so turned on that I totally caved. “Okay,” I said. “But let’s not do it in my bed, let’s go to the front bedroom. My bed is too small.” It was a twin and I thought it would be better if we had more room.

So we went to the front guest bedroom. I had only a shirt on and Derek was naked. He lay down and said, “Get on top.”

I assumed the position and tried to go for it, but it felt like I was stuck on a branch. It hurt so much. I tried easing myself down more slowly, but that didn’t work either. Derek was huge and this was my first time. He encouraged me to keep trying and I did, but it just wasn’t happening. We tried it with him on top, but it still hurt. I wasn’t prepared for this much pain at two
AM.
We tried a few other random positions, but enough was enough. I just wasn’t ready.

Derek finally spoke up. “Are you okay babe? If it’s hurting too bad, we’ll stop. I want you to enjoy it, too.”