Never a Road Without a Turning (13 page)

“Come on,” Pip gasped impatiently.

Pip turned and grabbed a lamp, then quickly led the way out of the room before he could change his mind. He only slowed when he remembered the major’s impairment. Pip waited at the bottom of the stairs for him to catch up and then took to the steps a great deal slower than he really wanted to. But the major was even slower still, and when Pip looked back in concern, he found the man staring hotly at his arse through the split in the back of his jacket. Pip’s stomach fluttered with a combination of lust and sudden trepidation as he began to regret his brashness. He turned back to finish the climb, but his earlier boldness was gone, and along with it some of his arousal.

What had he been thinking? Of course the man would want to bugger him. Fucking is what a man did. He’d learned that early enough. Pip shuddered and determinedly pushed the memories away, refusing to be swallowed by them. His heart sped for an entirely different reason. He started to feel a little sick as they continued down the hall, and his erection faded to softness in his trousers.

Once at the door, Pip hurried into the room and busied himself with the fire so the major couldn’t see his hands shake. When the coals were stirred up as much as they could be, Pip had no choice but to rise and go to the man waiting patiently with an arm braced on the footboard of the bed. As Pip drew near, the major reached for him, and Pip did his best not to flinch away. But his best wasn’t good enough.

“Second thoughts?” the major asked. His voice sounded much too indifferent about the answer for Pip’s liking, but at least it held no judgment or anger.

“No, I….” Pip shook his head and clenched his jaw.

“Phillip, you don’t have to—”

“I
want
to,” Pip interrupted fiercely. He’d thought about nothing else since last night. His body ached for it. But some things he simply could not do.

Pip closed his eyes and concentrated on the way the major’s hands had felt on him the night before, and the vise around his chest eased. He opened his eyes, reached out, and cupped the major’s face in both hands, this time taking pleasure in the roughness of the man’s whiskers against his palms. “I want to,” he repeated, breathing the words against his master’s lips. “There are some things I just canna’ do. Do ye understand?”

The major’s breath had quickened with Pip’s closeness, feathering across Pip’s lips and cheek as he searched Pip’s face. “Not fully. But you have my word I would do nothing you didn’t want. I would never force you, Phillip. You may leave or stay as you choose.”

Pip blew out a breath and rolled his shoulders to ease the tension that had built there. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the major’s, closing his eyes again and willing the darkness inside him away.

After a few moments, the major stepped back and took one of Pip’s hands, drew it away from his face, and led him to the bed. The major sat on the mattress and pulled Pip closer, as he had the night before. But when he began to unbutton the placket of Pip’s trousers again, Pip stopped him.

“I want to touch this time,” Pip whispered.

The major held his gaze for a long moment before letting his hands fall to the bed, palms upward, silently giving Pip permission to do as he wished.

Pip’s own hands trembled as he helped the major out of his jacket and untied his cravat. He carefully draped both over the foot of the sturdy wooden bed before reaching to undo the buttons at the major’s throat and expose the strong column of the man’s neck. Through it all, the major remained passive, waiting for Pip to lead, and a surge of lust followed closely behind the wave of gratitude that crashed through Pip.

On impulse, Pip leaned forward and buried his face where the major’s neck and shoulder met, breathing in his scent, nuzzling and nibbling a little, reveling in the strangeness of it. The man was all salt and musk and spice—exotic but not sweet or flowery—like the bits of fabric and ornament strewn about the cottage from his travels.

As Pip continued to sample him, the major drew in an unsteady breath and a moan rumbled deep in his chest. He cupped Pip’s skull and threaded his fingers through Pip’s curls, gently holding him in place. His touch held only tenderness, no force, and the fear did not rise in Pip. He felt cherished rather than controlled, like something worthy of being handled with care, and his cock throbbed with renewed interest.

The major slid his hands to Pip’s shoulders and tugged at the coarse wool of his jacket, and Pip helped him push it off. Pip’s neck cloth soon followed, joining his jacket on the floor. He paid little attention to where they fell. His clothes were nowhere near as fine as the major’s and had seen far worse than the elegant Persian rug beside the bed.

They both reached for the buttons on the other’s waistcoat at the same time, their arms tangling in their haste, and Pip laughed, swatting the major’s hands away. “Let me.”

Pip hastily removed his own waistcoat and tossed it aside before seeing to the major’s.

“It’s been a long time since I had a true valet,” the major mused as Pip undid the buttons. “Perhaps I should give you a promotion.”

Pip rolled his eyes and snorted. He tugged the waistcoat off and tossed it carelessly over his shoulder to demonstrate what he thought of that idea. “Sure cove. If ye want Mrs. Applethwaite t’ think ye’ve lost yer bleedin’ mind more’n she already does. Lie back now.”

“Yes, sir,” the major quipped with a wry smirk and a teasing glint to his eyes Pip had never seen before.

The major stretched out, propping himself up on his elbows, and Pip dropped to his knees beside the bed. He pulled the boot off the major’s good leg. Then climbed onto the bed and stretched out alongside him. They were both down to only their shirts, trousers, and undergarments now—except for the major’s false leg—and Pip thought perhaps he needed to spend a little time distracting them both before he went any further.

When Pip was settled, he reached for the major who rolled to face him. One of the major’s brows was raised in question, and the smirk was still in place, but his eyes were no longer laughing. They’d gone dark and heavy-lidded, the silver only a pale ring around deepest black, and Pip’s breathing sped in response.

While the major gripped Pip’s upper arms loosely, smoothing the fabric of his shirt and tracing the line of muscle with his thumbs, Pip slid a trembling hand up the flat plains of the major’s chest, ghosting over each ridge and valley he found. The major’s injury and lengthy recovery must have taken some of the meat from his bones, but Pip could still feel the definition there, all masculine hardness, no softness beyond the fine texture of the linen.

A small patch of dark blond hair peeking through the opening in the major’s shirt tickled Pip’s palm as he moved further up, until he reached the smooth, almost delicate skin along his collarbones. Pip trailed his fingers lightly over that softness, enjoying the contrast and the major’s answering shiver. Then he curled his fingers around the man’s neck.

The muscles flexed beneath his hands as Pip tightened his grip. He pulled, and the major’s lips were soon pressed to his. They were just as warm and soft as Pip remembered, and he spent some time teasing and sucking on them before pushing his tongue between them again.

As with the major’s scent, the kiss was an intoxicating combination of the familiar and the strange, and Pip continued to draw it out so he might fully appreciate the experience. Once or twice, the major attempted to deepen it, but when Pip only retreated under each advance, the major eventually relaxed and allowed Pip to set the pace.

The major’s hands drifted lower, caressing Pip’s flanks as he pressed their bodies closer. Pip could feel the heat radiating from the man’s skin and the evidence of his desire but he hesitated to go any further until the major broke away and whispered, “Please. Please touch me, Phillip.”

The need in his voice and the way he looked at Pip hit Pip like a punch to the stomach. His cock throbbed and suddenly he was desperate to have more. Pip tore at the ties of his own shirt, dragged it over his head, and tossed it aside. He didn’t even pause to see the admiration in the major’s eyes before tugging
his
shirt out of his trousers and running his hands over the hot skin he found beneath. Pip shoved the shirt up under the major’s arms and pushed him back on the bed. He had no breasts to fondle, only hard muscle and bone, but Pip liked a good tickle of his nipples from time to time, so he bent and suckled on one of the major’s experimentally. The major gasped and arched his back, and Pip smiled in triumph.

Perhaps pleasuring the man would be easier than he thought
.

Pip lavished attention on the nipple beneath his lips before moving to the other. All the while, the major writhed beneath him, mussing Pip’s hair and stroking Pip’s face and shoulders with restless hands.

Soon enough the major was reduced to panting the word “please” over and over, and Pip’s cock ached so much he felt it would burst if he didn’t move on. Pip slid off the mattress and undid the buttons of the major’s trousers first. The major propped himself up on his elbows again, watching Pip’s every move. His face was flushed, his lips swollen with Pip’s kisses, and the heat in his pale eyes was enough to keep Pip from thinking too much over what he was about to do.

Safe and warm in his house, the major wore no drawers beneath the fine wool, and his cock sprung free as soon as Pip released it. The prick was long and slender, not as thick as Pip’s but beautiful if such a thing could be called beautiful. The head was purple and swollen, already peeking out from its foreskin and wet with excitement. To Pip’s utter amazement he felt his mouth water just gazing at it as it curled up from the thatch of dark blond hair at its base.

Pip refused to examine the feeling and let his hunger rule as he reached for the waistband and began to tug the trousers the rest of the way off.

“You don’t have to do that,” the major said, putting his hands over Pips to stop him and drawing Pip’s attention back to his face.

“’Ow else am I going to get ye undressed?” Pip said in confusion, fighting the hands holding him still.

“I only meant you don’t have to look at it. You can leave the trousers most of the way on if you don’t wish to see—” The major stopped abruptly and clenched his jaw. Some of the heat had faded from his eyes, and Pip did not want that.

“Don’t be daft. Lift yer ’ips,” he commanded brusquely, and after a moment’s pause, the major complied.

The false leg was laced to the major’s thigh much like a corset, and Pip smiled in relief. He had plenty of experience with those. “Can I?” he asked as he placed his hands lightly over the strings and looked up into the major’s eyes.

When the major blew out a breath and nodded, Pip untied the laces as gently as he could. The thigh beneath looked bruised and swollen even in the dim light of the lamp, so Pip was careful not to jar it as he pulled the whole contrivance off and propped it against the night table. The major watched him closely with shame written plainly across his face, forestalling any of the questions that sprang to Pip’s mind. Pip didn’t really want to talk at the moment anyway. He simply shucked off his own trousers and drawers in an effort to distract the man.

It worked.

Heat immediately flared back into his eyes and he reached for Pip. Being careful of his leg, Pip stretched out on top of him, pressing the lengths of their bodies together. They were of a height, so their pricks lined up perfectly, and both of them groaned as Pip flexed his hips a few times. The major slid his palms around Pip’s back, urging him to continue as Pip took most of his weight on his elbows and leaned in to claim his mouth.

They stayed like that, kissing and gently rocking against one another until the major’s movements became more urgent and he grabbed two fistfuls of Pip’s arse, holding Pip in place as he thrust up into him and panted against Pip’s cheek. Heat built in Pip’s belly, and his blood pounded in his ears. Their cocks dripped a steady stream between them, and Pip hardly noticed that he’d lost control of their coupling until the major’s fingers slipped between the globes of his arse and the tips teased Pip’s back entrance.

Pure instinct took over then, and Pip’s entire body tensed. He shoved himself off the man and sprang to his feet. “Don’t!” Pip’s breathing was ragged from more than passion now, and he shivered in the sudden chill of the room.

The major sat up quickly, his eyes wide with confusion and concern. “What did I do?”

Pip took a breath and then another to calm himself. “I can’t. I’m sorry… but I can’t.”

The major pulled himself to the edge of the bed. Pip moved further away, eliciting a sigh from him. “Phillip, I can hardly run after you,” he said, sweeping a hand to indicate his missing leg. “Please, forgive me. I was only carried away by the moment, by how you made me feel. Don’t go. Tell me what I did wrong.”

The quiet pleading in his voice as well as the regret and sorrow in his eyes calmed Pip enough that reason returned, and he nodded stiffly and walked back to the bed. He couldn’t find the words to tell the major what was going on inside him, but he stood still between the major’s legs as the man tentatively reached out and slid warm, soothing hands down Pip’s flanks.

Watching Pip intently, the major leaned forward and nuzzled Pip’s flagging cock back to life, plying it with gentle kisses until Pip’s heart was racing for the right reasons again.

“Would you allow me to pleasure you as I did last night?”

Pip sighed and threaded his fingers through the soft waves of the major’s hair, mussing it further. He’d wanted to do more than that. Sometime during their kissing and petting, an image had formed in his mind of the major in the throes of release, with all the pain and sadness gone from his countenance, replaced by peace and more of the adoration Pip thrived on. The picture was so beautiful, he’d desperately wanted to see it become reality, and yet his demons had betrayed him, keeping him from it.

When Pip still didn’t speak, the major said, “Perhaps you’d like something else? It has been some time—years actually—but I am not averse to being taken, if you wish it.”