Never Be Lied to Again (14 page)

L I A R A N D H I S I N T E N T I O N S

The following example illustrates a process that is becoming very popular in employee screening tests. The questions below are asked the prospective employee to determine if he is an honest person. If you really wanted the job, how would you answer these questions

?

Have you ever stolen anything in your life?

Have you ever run a red light? Do you have a
friend who has ever shoplifted? Have you ever
had thoughts of killing someone?

Many of us would have to answer yes to most of these questions. And that is precisely the answer a prospective employer is looking for. Why? Because the honest answer is yes for most of us—saints excluded. The employer's task is finding those who are honest about it. Stealing a pack of gum when you were twelve years old doesn't make you a bad person or an undesirable employee.

The goal of this procedure is not to determine what the

person is guilty of, but rather if he or she is honest about it. At least then you can deal with the situation with trust. Let's say that Martha's teenage son, who has been away from home and living on the streets for the past two years, wants to come home. Knowing that her son is addicted to cocaine, she is worried about whether he can actually clean up his act. She could tell him that he can move back in only if he enrolls in a drug rehabilitation program. He will probably agree to this, whether he plans to do it or not. If he's sincere he'll say yes, and if he's lying he will also agree to her terms.

This does not give Martha a true indication of her son's intentions. But Martha has read this book and instead tells her son that he can move back in if he quits cold turkey— never doing another drug whatsoever. Her son's answer will reveal his commitment to getting well, which is the real concern.

Obviously her son can hardly get rid of his addiction instantly. So if he indicates that he can, she knows that he's lying about his intention to get well. However, if he says that he can't but will make strides toward getting better, she will know that he is sincere in his pursuit of wellness.

Quick Tip:
People generally need a reason to lie. If there's no reason— no motivation—then you'll likely get the truth.

Therefore, you want to ask for the truth before he has a reason to lie to you. Your greatest leverage always comes from knowing what kind of person you're dealing with. The time to ask the salesman about the quality of the product is not
after
you tell him that you're interested in buying it. Why? Because he may feel that it's in his best interest to lie to you. However, had you asked him this—casually, of course—before you expressed an interest, there's no real incentive for him not to tell the truth.

When you seek to gauge a person's honesty and commitment, propose a solution that you know is too difficult. If he acknowledges the difficulty of your solution, he is earnest in his desire to reach the specific objective or outcome. If he readily agrees to it, he has ulterior motives and is not being truthful.

P A R T

5

A D V A N C E D T E C H N I Q U E S

F O R G E T T I N G T H E T R U T H

"Enough white lies add up to manipulation."

—DAVID J. LIEBERMAN

This section offers the most advanced techniques for getting at the truth. Using a blend of hypnosis and a system I developed called Trance-Scripts, you'll be able to give commands directly to a person's unconscious mind—in conversation and without their awareness. Through this process you will be able to persuade others to tell the truth with maximum effectiveness. These techniques are extraordinary, so use them with judgment and caution!

EMBEDDED COMMANDS

This technique is used to implant suggestions directly into the unconscious. Embedded commands are just that—commands embedded in a sentence.

These can be used in conjunction with both the attack sequences and the silver bullets. To illustrate, the embedded commands are italicized in the sentence below.

If you want to
tell the truth
or not
tell the truth,
that's entirely up to you.

This sentence is received by the conscious mind in its entirety. The command—-tell the truth—goes directly to the unconscious. This technique is very simple and has only two criteria. First, for maximum effectiveness the command should start with an action verb, because you're telling the mind to do something. Second, the entire command should be separated from the rest of the sentence using what is called an analogue marker. You set the command portion off by one of the following: (1) Lower or raise the volume of your voice slightly while speaking the command.

(2) Insert a short pause right before and then right after the command. For instance, "Sometimes we just . . .

become fascinated . . . with what we're reading." (3) Gesturing with your hand while you are giving the command momentarily distracts the conscious mind, and the embedded statement is received by the unconscious mind as a command. You don't want a flagrant gesture or too long a pause. This will only confuse the person and make him question what you're doing. The objective is to be casual and relaxed.

The following is a generic example of how these would be used. The embedded commands are in italics.

I don't want you to
tell me
unless you want to. Now if you
think to yourself on
the inside /
want to tell you.,
then just
say
it.
When you
realize this is the right decision
you'll
tell me
the truth
anyway. So we might as well
clear the air now.

4 - 3 - 2 - 1

This technique is phenomenal. It works because when the brain receives several messages that it registers as truthful, then it expects what follows—the suggestion—to be truthful. As long as the suggestion is not blatantly false, the brain will accept it as true.

The process is simple. You make four truthful statements followed by one suggestion, then three truthful statements followed by two suggestions, then two truthful statement followed by three suggestions, and finally, one truthful statement followed by four suggestions. The truthful statements can be about anything—the room you're in, the weather, anything that the brain can't argue with. The suggestions should be about what you want him or her to do.

By integrating externally verifiable statements with a specific suggestion, you're leading your subject to accept your suggestion.

Scenario

A police detective is seeking a confession from a suspect.

The underscored phrases are the truthful statements and the italicized words are the suggestions. You can also combine this technique with embedded commands, which are set off in parentheses.

As you're sitting in the chair, wondering what you should do, you're probably weighing your options. You want to do what's best for you and that would be to
{tell me what happened).

We know about your past arrest for robbery. And that you got off with probation. I know that you're probably scared and /
want you to (know I'm on your side)
and
I
want you to (see the benefits of telling the truth).

Look, you want to get out of here. And you know that I don't have the time to sit with you all day.
Getting this off
your chest may make you feel better. You 'II be saving yourself a lot of heartache and you 'II be able to (get on with your
life when this thing is over).

I know you've been around the street most of your life.

This is your chance for afresh start. (Think about the possibilities) for yourself if you were to (go straight). You'll be
able to (get a respectable job) and (take better care of your
family).

U N C O N S C I O U S C R E A T I O N S

This technique uses embedded commands in an entirely new way. You will be able to give a suggestion that creates a perceivable action so you can observe the signs of deceit without continuing to question him. Watch for the behaviours that you embed in the sentences. They will usually occur at some point during your conversation.

Examples

"I'm not saying that you should
stiffen up your body if
you're lying
."

"I don't know if you're lying. Unless you
feel like blinking
your eyes fast if you are.'"

"If you . . .
like what you're reading . . .
you may . .

.
smile . . . now.7"

With this technique, you're embedding a command that you can readily observe. Offer as many as you want. Just be sure to follow the same procedure as with the embedded commands.

DISASSOCIATION

This process helps the person become more comfortable with telling the truth. It works by dividing him into two separate people. No, not with a chain saw! You're actually dividing the psyche—setting two parts of the person against each other.

It's the old person who would lie versus the new person who would never hurt you. This process greatly alleviates the person's guilt because he no longer feels obligated to justify the actions that his "old self" was responsible for.

The process of disassociation is used with great success to treat phobias.

In your conversation, continue to repeat phrases like the ones below. Make sure that they contrast the old him and the new him.

"Perhaps the old you was capable of this. But I know you
would never do that now. "

"You're a different person than you used to be. I'm sure
that you 're even more upset with the old you than I
am. But you're not that person anymore.
"

"You're only responsible for who you are today. You are
someone who is honest and trustworthy.
"

These simple phrases begin to wear down his defences.

Sometimes they will work right away; other times it may take a little while. But if he keeps hearing such phrases over and over again he will break, and you will get the truth.

E Y E - A C C E S S I N G C U E S

This technique works on the following principle. When a person thinks, he accesses different parts of his brain depending upon the information that is being accessed. This process can be observed by watching his eyes.

For right-handed people visual memories are accessed by the eyes going up and to the left. For a left-handed person, it's the reverse: the eyes go up and to the right. When a right-handed person seeks to
create
an image or fact, his eyes go up and to the right. And the reverse is true for the left-handed person.

Why don't you try this? Do you recall what colour your first car was? If you had to think about it, there's a good chance that if you're right-handed, your eyes went up and to the left. Your eyes went up and to the right if you're left-handed.

When a certain government official testified before Con-gress, his eyes went up and to the left each and every time he was recalling information—clearly a sign that he was relaying the facts as he remembered them, not fabricating any stories. I thought this until I happened to see a picture of him in
Time
magazine, holding a pen in his
left
hand.

You can use this technique in any conversation to determine if the person is
creating
or
recalling
information. Simply watch his eyes and you'll know whether he's recalling an event that's already occurred or making up a story about something that has never happened.

A N C H O R I N G T H E T R U T H

Do you recall Pavlov's famous dogs? During his experiments, he would put food powder in a dog's mouth and measure the drops of saliva produced as a result by way of a tube surgically inserted into the dog's mouth. But during the course of his work, Pavlov noticed that the dogs began to salivate when he

merely walked into the room. This salivation could not be a reflex since it did not occur the first few times Pavlov walked in; it occurred only when the dog had learned that Pavlov's appearance signalled food. That is, Pavlov's appearance become associated with a future event: food. He called this a psychic reflex or a conditioned reflex. It has come to be called, through mistranslation, a conditioned

response.

We can see examples of conditioned

reflexes in our own lives. Perhaps the smell of vodka makes you sick because you had a bad experience with it several years ago. Or a certain song comes on the radio and you recall a friend you haven't thought about in years.

These are all anchors. An anchor is an

association between a specific set of feelings or an emotional state and some unique

stimulus—an image, sound, name, taste.

We're going to use the same principle but employ it in an entirely new way. In poker there's something called a tell. That's when another player makes an unconscious gesture during a specific situation. Whenever he's nervous, for example, he may blink, look down, or move in a certain way.

Professional card players learn to pick up on these tells, providing them with an insight into the person's hand.

What you're going to do is to install a truth tell in others so you'll know when they're lying in any instance—now or in the future.

Here's how it's done. Ask a series of

questions that the person can answer

truthfully and easily. When he answers,

anchor it with a specific movement. Then when you ask a question you don't know the answer to, fire off your truth anchor as you ask the question. He'll unconsciously feel compelled to be truthful just as Pavlov's dogs knew it was time to eat when Pavlov entered the room.

You don't want to be obvious in your