Never Have an Outlaw's Baby: Deadly Pistols MC Romance (Outlaw Love) (15 page)

Fighting him, pulling him into me all at once.

My mouth moved against his, saying things words couldn't.

But I didn't realize how much like lightning cutting across the sky this conversation was going to be until he started ripping off my clothes.

His hands roamed my body, jerking off my shirt, snapping my bra strap. My jeans and panties came down in one push, and I felt the wet trickle rolling down my thigh instantly.

“Joker...”

Big mistake, just whispering my name. He took my thighs, slammed them against the wall, and pulled my legs apart.

Then his face was buried in my pussy.

My fingernails were on his scalp now, pushing through his thick, dark hair, feeling for precious support. And I needed it –
God, I needed it –
almost as much as I'd needed this for so long.

His tongue pushed through my wetness, taking over, hitting all the right spots. My thighs were trembling, and I leaned on him, urging him in deeper, deeper, deeper while his mouth took me through heaven and hell.

Oh, God. Deeper.

“Holy shit. Joker, I'm –“ I bit my own tongue, dying from excitement.

Every time I whimpered, his mouth moved faster. My clit went between his teeth, swelled in his vice, and exploded against the first few lashes of his tongue.

He growled when I came. His rumble echoed through me, angry as a wild animal, just a steady, mad pulse of fire, hate, and sex.

Still panting through clenched teeth, I forced myself to open my eyes while he was still licking me, and saw myself in the mirror. My whole body was totally contorted. My pupils were tiny and the whites were going bloodshot, blown out by the nasty shock of the past week, and now
this.

Whatever the hell
this
even was.

He held me while I halfway collapsed in his arms, coming up, and smashed his lips down on mine. I could taste myself on his mouth. I could taste him.

God. I tasted three fucking years worth of built up emotion, all pouring out in this torrent.

“Fuck, I missed that sweet little cunt. You on the fuckin' pill, or what?” he spat, pulling away from me, clenching my chin with his fingers.

“I've...I've missed a few days. It isn't safe. I'll start again tonight.”

“Then get on your knees if you don't want another kid. You're gonna suck every last drop outta me, straight down your throat.”

He pushed me down. Gently, but firmly.

My eyes went to his pants, which he pushed down a second later, along with his boxers. The pierced, magnificent dick I'd missed forever sprang out, angrier than I'd ever seen it before.

“Speak to me, Summertime. Suck me the fuck off. Blow me so goddamned hard I forget about all the lies and the bullshit and you running, hiding, lying. Suck.”

“I didn't run,” I said angrily, trying to keep my eyes off the rock hard cock pulsing in his hand, the little bullet of his piercing shining in the dim bathroom light.

“Suck,” he repeated, reaching down, tangling his fingers through my hair. He pushed my face towards it.

Before I knew it, my mouth was full of him. Hard, hot, earthy beneath my tongue.

I bobbed my head, running my tongue along his length, searching for that spot underneath the head – the one that caused him to suck breath and growl all those years ago.

“Fuck. Shit. Goddamn, woman!” he snarled.

Bingo.
I focused my tongue there, reaching up to massage his balls, amazed that these were what had given us the boy sleeping in his room.

I sucked him like my life depended on it, because maybe it did.

Ran my lips, my tongue, my teeth across his cock, erasing all the years of distance, speaking through the insane, painful barriers between us.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he sputtered, pulling on my hair until it burned deliciously. “Fucking shit, Summertime. Take it!”

And I did.

His head swelled, pulsed, and pumped into my mouth. I held him deep, still massaging him as he came, hopelessly trying to catch his come.

It was completely impossible. He flooded me, shot thick ropes down my throat, just pumping and pumping and pumping until his sticky, warm seed ran out around the corners of my lips.

I'd be a total mess by the end of it, and so what?

Right now, nothing mattered, except feeling him growling out his hate, his madness, shooting me full of him.
Again.

When he finally softened, I pulled his cock out, and kissed him near the piercing. He jerked himself away, glowering at me again, his eyes as dull and dead as they'd been before.

“Clean the fuck up and let me know if you need to eat. You can sleep in my room with the kid tonight. I'll take the sofa.”

“You mean...that's it? Just like that?”

Pants pulled up, he tugged on his zipper, leaving me naked while he reclaimed his biker suit like nothing ever happened.

Jesus, I'd been an idiot.

“That's all 'til I decide what the fuck to do with you, yeah. I'll sleep on it. You rest. You're safe here, you listen to me, and that'll do dandy.”

He walked out, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone for the millionth time.

I buried my face in my hands and broke down, surrounded by his scent.

* * *

“
W
ake the fuck up
, sunshine,” a dark voice said, edging me from my dreams.

I turned, reaching one arm out for Alex, and felt – nothing.

I bolted up, heart pounding, and saw him in Joker's arms, the little boy giggling while he reached for his father's face.

It was still dark outside. “Shit. What time is it?”

“Early enough. We've got business at the clubhouse, babe, and you're coming with.”

“Be careful with him,” I said, feeling like a total bitch because Alex looked happier than he'd been for awhile in daddy's arms. “Let me get dressed.”

He left the room, still playfully bouncing the boy in his arms. They were naturals together.

Of course they were. Why did that feel like an arrow through the chest?

Maybe because there'd never be one big, happy family. I was only fooling myself.

There was only Joker and Alex. Alex and me.

Two pairs. Never a whole.

I got dressed as quickly as I could. When I stepped out, Joker sat on the sofa with Alex on his lap, a bowl of pipping hot oatmeal at his side.

“Buckle up, little man. Here comes the Harley on its run...” His hand slowly moved the spoon toward Alex's mouth, stopping as my son laughed.

It would've been heartwarming, honestly, if I wasn't still so pissed. “You need to be careful with that! Make sure it isn't too hot.”

Joker looked up, his eyes on fire. “Ain't a fuckin' fool, Summertime. It's plenty warm. Not scalding. Tested it myself. Anyway, there's more in the kitchen if you need it.”

My stomach growled, forcing me to swallow my pride and take what he'd left out. I grabbed it and sat down next to them, spooning a bite into my mouth.

Anything would've tasted good. This was almost heavenly, with just the right honey sweetness, a hint of apple, and some cinnamon mixed in.

“Is this instant?” I said, eyeing him carefully as he moved another bite to Alex's small mouth.

“Come the fuck on.” He snorted. “I'm man enough to wake up and do my cooking. Same recipe Grandpa used to feed us when we were kids. Only fair my son has the same breakfasts I did.”

My son.
It sounded so heavy on his lips, so full of pride.

I softened, giving him his moment with Alex. Whatever.

There'd be plenty of time to seethe at him for using me as a doormat later, but for the next ten minutes, I was almost at peace, watching him handle our baby boy like he'd been doing it from day one.

“Okay, kid,” he whispered softly, pulling a napkin off the table and blotting at the little boy's mouth. “Time to go. Keep eating like that and you'll be able to knock men out twice my size someday.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, sure. Like I really want him becoming one of your brothers.”

Joker's head twisted, aiming the second hate-fuck in twenty four hours at me with his eyes. “You're in no position to judge shit, Summer. You don't know a damned thing. Growing big and strong can turn this boy into a billionaire or a fuckin' quarterback. You're acting like everything I say has the club's stamp all over it. Ain't true.”

“How do I know it doesn't?”

His jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything. I put my hands out, ready to take Alex again. Reluctantly, he passed him over to me, and I hugged him tight.

“Just need to change his diaper, and then we'll be ready to go,” I said, finishing the last of my oatmeal with one hand.

“Damned straight. You leave it to me next time, I'll cover you before we go.”

“Really?” I said, standing up and wrinkling my nose in disbelief. “I can't believe you're so serious about this. I thought you'd leave the diapers and baths to me.”

Joker bolted up, rooted himself to the floor, even though I knew he would've been up in my face if I wasn't holding the toddler. “He's mine, Summer. My son. My own fuckin' flesh and blood. 'Course I want to learn everything, make up for all the time I've lost thanks to you. When we get to the club, you're gonna sit down, let the kid play with my dog, and keep your fuckin' mouth shut. I'm giving you one more pass on your bullshit assumptions today – but it's the last one you get. I'm warming up the truck.”

I stood there with my jaw hanging as he walked past, grabbed his keys off the counter, and then popped the door, letting it fall shut behind him with a thud.

I
hated
being put in my place by this screwed up, cocky, bloodthirsty dick.

I hated it even more that he blamed me for everything.

Mostly, I just hated him for being right, and so point-blank about it that my inner bitch was screaming.

* * *

I
kept
quiet on the short ride in his truck, checking on Alex every few minutes. He sat behind us in his little seat, holding a stuffed lion, his favorite toy I'd brought along from home.

God, home. I had about another week before the rent would slip by without getting paid. The greedy old landlord wouldn't wait more than a week after that to dump my stuff and find a new tenant.

I'd left behind everything else. I was never going to see anything that wasn't in my purse or my car again.

But I had Alex, we were both safe, and for now, he was all that mattered.

At the clubhouse, we rolled through a tall metal gate guarded by two grim looking men with prospect patches. Not the same boys who'd greeted me the other day, the first time I'd tried to confront Joker, and talk some sense into him.

“Outside,” he said, pointing to the door out back. “You can wait out there 'til I say it's time. Show Alex my dog.”

Holding the little boy, I pushed open the screen. The big dog laying on the ground instantly perked up when he saw us. Bingo stood up, stretched, and walked over, his tongue hanging out.

I sat down in a deck chair, Alex on my lap, stroking the dog's fur. Baby boy perked up as soon as the giant dog came over, giggling while he dug his hands into his fur.

“Doggie! Doggie!”

“That's right,” I said, finally allowing myself to smile, holding him closer. “You're learning so fast, honey. He's a big one, isn't he?”

“Biiig!” Alex echoed.

Giving in, I let myself smile, watching as he pushed his face into the dog's fur, stroking his sides. Bingo seemed just as happy, letting out a satisfied whine, his tail slapping the air.

These moments were precious, and so rare, especially when every hour might bring hell, ending them all forever.

I hadn't forgotten why we were here.

Hatch was out there. Seething.

He'd come for me – come for
us,
just like he'd threatened – unless the bastard who had my heart twisted in knots saved us. I hated having to depend on him, almost as much as I hated him for using me to suck his cock.

I wasn't his fucking play thing. But I definitely wasn't his woman either, and I never would be.

“Rowww! Rowww!” Alex interrupted my melancholy thoughts, trying to imitate the dog's sound. I made the same silly noise when I read him his stories, teaching him all about animals.