Never Have I Ever (5 page)

It wasn’t a question.

“I think I have to. Does that make you uncomfortable?”

Noah adjusted in his seat. One part of him was uncomfortable anyway.

“Not entirely, no,” he said. “Elaborate for me. What did you have in mind?”

That was a little more complicated to articulate into words. I stammered a bit while I began to explain the general concept, but soon the ideas flowed from me with unabashed ease. “I want to be taken.
Hard.
I don’t want to have the choice. I just want you to show up, grab me, tease the ever loving hell out of me, call me terrible names to make me submit and use my body to enjoy yourself.”

There was almost a growl in his voice as he warned, “Good Lord woman, stop turning me on.”

“Isn’t that the idea though?” I asked. The irony that I was in the process of talking a guy into forcing himself on me was not lost on me in the slightest.

“Keep saying things like that and I might not make it until later,” he grumbled.

Then again, maybe he was talking himself into it.

Even though I tried not to sound too overeager, I’m all but sure I did. “Then you’ll do it?”

We pulled up beside the curb behind my car outside of Anya’s house. Anya’s SUV was absent, but Declan’s car was in the driveway. Noah parked and turned to me, placing his hand over the headrest of my seat.

“If—
If
, mind you, I agree to this… first things first. How do I know you won’t freak out and call the police? This request puts me in a very dangerous position.”

“The same way I know you won’t really hurt me. I’m putting myself in a pretty dangerous position here too.”

“Fair point.
And, why do you want to do this?”

All of the reasons decided, in that moment, to settle neatly into my mind. “Because my Never Have I list is longer than my list of I Have, and that needs to change.”

“Protection?”

“Birth Control Pill.”

Noah wet his lips. I think that turned him on even more. There would be no need for a pesky condom to get in the way of the full effect. “Where should this happen?”

“My apartment,” I replied. “I don’t have upstairs neighbors and the guy beside me is out of town until the end of the month. The firewalls are also really,
really
thick. No one will hear a thing. I leave a spare key beneath the flower pot.”

The upstairs neighbors had gratefully moved out two weeks ago. I only noticed it when the noises coming from above me indicating they must have been opening up a
Stargate
in their dining room nightly suddenly vanished.

His eyes widened with a fair amount of astonishment. “Wow, you really have thought this through, haven’t you? Okay, when?”

We were planning this. We were actually planning this.

“Surprise me.”

“You need to know it’s me. Give me your phone,” he said.

I dug it out of my pocket and handed it to him.

As he programmed his number in he continued, “I’ll leave your doormat out of place so you know I’m inside. That’s your one and only out, got it? If you decide you don’t want to follow through then don’t be afraid to call me. Once you close that door, though… I won’t let you go.”

“Good,” I agreed.

He finished adding his number to my contacts list and slid the phone into my waiting hand. Before I could pull it away, he gripped my fingers and leaned in close.

There was the spark again; that fire from the night prior, leaping to life in his eyes. “No matter how hard you fight me—

and
I want you to fight, no matter how much you beg—and you will
beg
, and no matter how much you try to scream… I. Won’t.
Stop.”

My eyes searched his, the thrill of the thing making me so weak-kneed that I shuddered. “We’re on the same page.”

He kissed me hard, slipping his tongue into my mouth and holding me to him across the center console. I let out a little moan, returning the kiss with equal force. Before either of us got too carried away, he backed off and released my hand.

“Then I’ll see you very soon, Piper.”

Not soon enough.

***

My drive home was fraught with nerve wracking sensations; heavy tension and a burning need for release. I decided against allowing myself to succumb to the feeling. I loved the anticipation of not knowing when it would happen. Instead, I had a light lunch—which was washed down with copious amounts of water to assist with the hangover—and settled in for an afternoon of studying and thesis writing.

A part of me kept wondering how it would all happen. Thoughts of all the possibilities began to consume me. It was, after all, much more enticing than my thesis, which had been my sole companion for the past… I don’t know how long. It felt like forever.

Sunday blurred into Monday. Monday faded into Tuesday. Nothing happened. By the time Wednesday rolled around I decided to take matters into my own hands. All the eagerness managed to get the best of me. 

I showered and toweled off, a refreshing end to an otherwise busy day of the combined efforts of math and sexual frustration. But as I lay in bed and continued to think about the myriad of ways Noah could come and take me, it began to allure me. I wondered if he would wake me in the middle of the night by hovering over me and just thrusting himself into me or if he would come in when I left for class and surprise me when I came home.
Thoughts of being tied and gagged.
Blindfolded.
Pinned to a wall.
There were so many possibilities and not enough time for one to remain as a complete thought in my head before it slithered into another thought.

My fingers ran up the inside of my thigh as I felt the wetness growing between my legs. I needed release. I couldn’t take the waiting anymore.

I slid out of my sleep shorts and cast them onto the floor beside my bed. My shirt followed. I was naked beneath the comforter, my hand sweeping over my breasts. I felt my nipples harden in an instant. I pinched at them, softly at first, but then my fingers clamped down hard and I felt a jolt of pleasure shoot from my nipples down my body. I kept one hand on my breast while I let the other wander down my chest and flat stomach to my freshly shaved mound. I sucked in a sharp breath when my cool fingertips brushed my clit.

I closed my eyes, imagining what
Noah’s tongue might feel
like as he sucked the juices from my pussy. My fingers rubbed a little harder. The pulsing sensations of the pleasure coursed through me. I slid my hand further down to coat my fingers in my arousal and brought them back to their place.

I liked the build-up of alternating between rubbing my clit and slipping my fingers in and out of me. Tonight, though, I wanted to come so bad I couldn’t see straight. There would be no slow buildup if I could help it.

I did dip my fingers into me and pumped them just to feel how wet thoughts of what was to come made me. That only turned me on more as I massaged in short and long circles. I moved and sighed against the light-weight comforter over my torso while I squeezed at my round breasts for minutes on end.

The scent of me wafted up through the blankets. With one more grasp on my right breast, I sent my other hand to assist with the need growing inside me. One hand stroked against my sensitive, hard clit while I raised my hips to get a better angle and pushed two fingers inside of me. I felt myself clench around them and drew them in and out slowly. God, I wanted more than anything for them to be replaced with Noah’s hardness.

I groaned out my frustration and moved with
an eagerness
that I almost couldn’t bear.

Finally, I hit the sweet spot and, several seconds later, yelled out into my empty room as I came. My pussy pulsed around my fingers for a while as my orgasm wracked through me.

Breathing hard, I slipped my hands away and rolled onto my side. I’d spent less than twelve hours with Noah and I was already in desperate longing for him.

What the hell was I going to do with myself?

F
riday arrived. I all but gave up on Noah.

I slogged through my classes and, instead of heading home in the early
afternoon,
I made the trek up to the Mt. Wilson Observatory. I frequented the place as a favor to a professor to help the upkeep of the telescopes and crunch some numbers. It was free experience for my preparation to transition into the world of Astrophysics and an advanced understanding of the universe. They paid me, of course—quite well—because I was doing good work. It helped to supplement what my student loans and grants failed to cover.

The observatory was a privately owned facility. Due to that they received zero in the way of government funding. They relied entirely on hefty donations from business owners and everyday people who just happened to like science. As the whole of the observatory prepared for a visit from a few executives of Wellington International, to see if they were worthy of a donation, I hunkered in to pull my weight to give the best pitch possible.

After grabbing a cup of coffee and a salad from the café on the first floor, I slithered through the public crowds and nestled into an afternoon of spreadsheets. To any normal person, saying I spend my free time looking over data sheets and graphs was about as entertaining as watching paint dry. I enjoyed it, though. While the pictures weren’t exactly pretty, they painted a clearer view of all that existed beyond our little rock. It made me feel closer to God in some ways. Science was His
language,
it had just taken us a long time to begin deciphering.

The hours flew by. When I looked up from the data at one point the clock had leapt from a quarter past three to damned near midnight.

Yeah, it was time to go get some sleep.

I drove home in the quiet darkness of the outskirts of Los Angeles. I parked and locked my car, then swung my keys around and located the right one. As I slipped it into the lock, I noticed the welcome mat with its flowery design was askew, almost sideways in its presentation on the doorstep. My pulse quickened.

This was it. If I opened the door, there would be no turning back.

The lock turned, and the door opened. Inside, my apartment was darker than I’d ever seen it. The only light stemmed from the faint amber glow of the bulb over the stove. After shutting and locking the door, I set my purse and keys on the island in the center of the kitchen, then went out of instinct for the light switch in the living room.

Two strong arms grabbed me from behind in the darkness as I tried to flip the kitchen light on. I barely had time to gasp, let alone scream, before one hand was clasped over my mouth in a secure grip and the other wrapped around my waist. He pinned one of my arms to my side, but I flailed the other, my fingers clawing at the hand over my mouth. I kicked against him so hard my sandals flew off. I tried to push away, even screamed behind the hand covering the lower half of my face. Little more than a muffle escaped.

Noah’s voice shot into my ear, “Shut up. This will be much easier for both of us if you don’t struggle.” His face was beside mine, a hint of peppermint and tobacco fresh on him.

I struggled anyway. His muscles tensed and in a flash he pulled my free arm away and locked it to my side. I felt just how hard he’d already become through the fabric of his jeans against my ass.

“I’m going to take my hand away from your mouth now. As long as you do as I say you are safe. If you scream, I will kill you. If you try to run, I will kill you. Do you understand?”

For what it was worth, I believed him. Staged or not, his tone gushed of severe intent. I swallowed hard and
nodded,
my breath shallow and heavy against his palm. He moved his hand only to secure my arms behind my back. I heard the fast, high pitched click of a zip tie as it bit into my wrists and locked them together.

“What do you—
”

“Shut up.”

With my hands out of the way, he was free to explore. His left hand grazed past my collar bone as he wrapped it around my neck in a loose grip. He slipped his right hand beneath my shirt. The shock of his touch sent a shiver through me. I jerked forward out of reflex, releasing a whimper. His fingers moved beneath my bra, grasping the supple flesh of my left breast and gave it a firm, harsh squeeze as he yanked me back to him.

“I don’t think so,” he growled. “I’ve been watching you, waiting for this moment. Did you leave the blinds in your bedroom open on purpose? Did you think nobody would stop to watch as you stripped? As you showered and shaved with your bathroom door open in full view?”

Oh God, I really did leave them open. Nothing was behind my apartment except trees, and nobody ever ventured back there because it happened to be on the back of the property. I never thought to close them. How many nights, I wondered, did he sit back there and peer through my window? Did he see me on Wednesday when I—Oh, fuck.

I stammered to reply, “No, I—” but was met with a firm slap across my cheek and the rest of my response was washed out by the sting.