Never Meant to Be (9 page)

Then I saw the most lovely thing in my whole life. I had just covered a few yards before I noticed Johnny running towards the central hall where the party had been. There was desperation on his face, and he was gasping, but still trying to keep his feet moving. We both saw each other and stopped. He took a few deep breaths while looking at me.

“Are you going to marry that nut case, or would you rather fly away with me? Because that other bird has come back. He realized that love is his freedom, and when you fall in love, you keep on falling and...” He gasped between breaths.

“You talk too much. Just shut the hell up and kiss me, you idiot.”

He slowly moved forward, put his hand around my waist, and pulled me closer. His warm breath touched my face and he didn’t rush but slowly moved us together as if he were asking permission to my soul. He had the most unique lips--they were dry and parched, but the contact still gave me chills that shook my body to the core. He evoked me.

Before I could catch myself, I pushed Johnny against the wall and our lips started to battle. The intensity was raising rapidly. I slid my hand inside his shirt, touching his bare body, and then moving down towards his sexy butt. But then something strange happened.

He pushed me away.

His breathe had increased and he bent towards the ground, as if in pain. It was strange for me because we had been so passionate, but suddenly, he looked uncomfortable and almost afraid. 

“Are you okay, Johnny?” I asked him. He was really gasping for air, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. I worried that maybe he was having some kind of breathing problem because he smoked, but I had no idea that it was something much deeper than that. I began to rub his back gently until his breathing returned to normal.

“Johnny, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Nothing. It’s just that when I get cozy with someone...Well, it triggers ...I ... I'm okay. I'm okay.”

“Are you sure? Should we go to the hospital? Do you need medical attention?” I was afraid after seeing the sudden change in him.

“I don’t need anything. I just need your love.”

He looked at me with passion shining in his eyes, and we started to kiss again. Two young bodies, two young souls caressed each other and prepared to burn with passion. The intensity was so great that I forgot about the ring, about Aadish, and about everything else. The only thing on my mind was Johnny, and more Johnny.

It was going to be my first time. I'm not lying. Though Aadish and I had come close many times years ago, I just never felt like it was right. Plus, with the responsibility of running a business empire, there was no time to think about all these things.

But with Johnny it was different. Call it female intuition, but I could just feel and know when there was something more. With Johnny, it was different.

Johnny kissed me on my forehead and then my cheeks and moved to my neck, my breast, and my navel. It was as if he was unlocking me to set me free.

“My god, you are beautiful.”

I blushed at the compliment. He seemed to be lost in me. I closed my eyes and played with his hair. His rough body was like a journal filled with scars and marks, and it turned me on.

What if it doesn’t feel like what it's supposed to? How will I know if it's alright?

I was just enjoying the foreplay so much but Johnny was eager. I readied my body to take him, and I cried in ecstasy with his first thrust. It was almost painful at first, but he kissed me and it worked like a painkiller. Then the passion took over and Johnny started to become more rough and dominating. Tears fell from eyes as my body wanted to rest, but the burn had begun and there was no going back. The ashes could no longer be turned into paper. He dipped his head into my hair and kept on losing himself with every thrust I took in.

Oh, God. We were one, we were one, and I couldn’t believe it. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced in my life. We lost our grip on time, our grip on reality, as he moved back and forth increasingly. I gripped his body tightly to subdue the pain, and then we vanished from the earth for a few seconds to another dimension as I ate the fruit of orgasm. It felt like a dream.

After, we lay naked in each other’s arms.

It was an abandoned hall. Half of the roof had caved in years ago, and the sky was visible and moonlight fell upon us as if we were lying on an abandoned stage.

“God! Where are we?” I asked Johnny.

He looked just as confused and I was. We both didn’t know how we ended up there. The last thing I remembered, we were in street. Then it all became a dream.

“So now what, Esther?” He asked me.

The sky was still visible to me. I looked up at the blinking stars, almost unaware that he had asked me a question.

“I don’t know..." I responded absentmindedly. "Now that you've screwed the most beautiful girl in the city, now what? Now I'll be less to you than I was before. Right now, you have the upper hand, and soon my place will fade away, right?”

I didn’t know why I said it. I think I was scared that our love would end up like other's.

“I would rather die.” He said after pausing. There was so much emotion in his voice.

I sighed with relief, and couldn't help but be amazed. I still remember his exact words, his exact intonation. I had spoken my fears out loud. Then it was his turn.

“What can you do for me? I mean, tomorrow your bodyguards will come and you'll drive away in your luxurious car to your mundane, comfortable life. And what do I do? Just go back to my rotten world?”

“I'm not going anywhere. You are the music and I am the sound. And in case you didn’t notice, I never wanted to be in that world.” I locked my fingers with his.

“Then let’s run away. I don’t know where, but let’s just run away. I swear, I'll be a better man. I'll work a proper job. It won't be lavish, but it'll be enough for us. But the main thing is that we'll be together. What do you say?" He looked me in the eyes.

"Should we do it? Fuck the world!” He shouted at the moon right above us.

When you are so in love, you really don’t think logically. Everything is just secondary.

“I think I have just the place. We can run away to a tree house.”

“A tree house?”

“Yeah, it’s a tree house, but subtly engineered. There's a huge field of grass with a tree and a swing and a small stream flowing right beside it. Whenever my parents wanted some time alone away from the corporate world we used to go down there. And the fact is, nobody knows about that place except a few. Let’s go. Let's ride off into the sunset...”

“Let’s ride now.” He said playfully.

We held each other and made love again. 

It was dawn. The sun was in the horizon. Johnny woke up and saw it rising over the curve of my waist, my hair shone in the sunshine. He wrote the following lines just for me.

Love, love I feel

Like a silent ocean lying beside me wetting my feet

Her hair flies away with the clouds

I am tied to it

Dragged from horizon to horizon

Blue was never the sea but the reflection of a mad sky

To fall upon her is like falling upon the sunrise

Mild and lethal at same time

Transforming my skin to a glow,

Brightening me when night resides inside me.

****

              “No, there's no way.” Latif looked at Stella.

              “I mean, there's so much going on in people's lives that we don’t know. There she was, smiling and giving interviews, but we had no idea that she was having this passionate affair.”

              Latif looked at Stella, but she appeared nervous

              “Are you okay? I mean, you look tense.”

              Just as he finished his sentence, Stella's phone buzzed. She stiffened. She quickly went into the next room. Latif noticed the look on her face. She was a strong girl and there were only a few moments when she had that look. Plus, since the arrival of the diaries, nothing had been same with her.

              He decided to eavesdrop.

              “What do you mean by destroying the dairy? No, I think I'm getting at something. You have to be patient. I'm thinking about your offer, it’s a lot of money, but--" he heard her pause, "Wait, are you threatening me?” Just before she could continue, Latif heard a loud knock at the door.

              Latif was surprised. It was twelve thirty at night, and they hadn't ordered anything.

             
Who could be banging on the door this late at night?

              Latif moved towards the door, but Stella stopped him. She put her finger to her lips, signaling him to be quiet. Then she picked up a baseball bat that had been lying on the table surrounded by files and papers. The banging on the door had stopped, but Stella cautiously moved towards the door and peeped through the eyehole. No one was there.

              “Would you tell me what the hell is going on?” He whispered angrily.

              “The diary, we have to finish the diary!" There was panic in her voice. "Wait ...I want you to scan the dairy. Save a copy, now. I know who we're dealing with. Tomorrow, we're selling these diaries.”

              “Selling the diaries? But who will buy them?” Latif didn't want to reveal that he had been listening to her conversation.

              “Oh, trust me. There are some desperate buyers. If we keep this diary, we won't be safe, so we have to sell it. But only after making a copy.”

              Stella took out a cigarette from her pack in a hurry. She lit it and slowly released the smoke back into the air. She stared out the window and at the sky. 

              Latif looked at the Stella, hoping that she would turn, but she kept staring outside. Slowly, the room was again filled with smoke.

***

Esther’s diary

I kissed Johnny on the forehead.

“Is that okay?”

“A little lower.”

I kissed him on his eyelids. He closed them and laughed sweetly.

“That tickles. Can you come a little lower?”

“Where, your nose?” I asked just to tease him.

“No, a little lower,” He pointed towards his lips.

“Sorry, your validity has expired.”

“Really?” He latched onto me, grabbed me tightly, and kissed me.

“So, Esther, any crazy ideas for today?”

“Yes, it’s a little crazy... But we're here to make our love story the most whacky one, right? The story to tell our grandchildren.”

“Go on,” he nodded.

“Okay, remember how we used to invent stupid games when we were kids? I happen to know another game, and it’s very interesting. Are you ready?"

He nodded with a smile.

"Ok, so here it is: We both will pick one place, and one of us will be there already waiting for the other. But here's the twist: the one waiting will be in disguise. And the other one has two chances to identify the one who is disguised and mingled with the crowd. The one who wins can order the loser to do one thing, whatever he or she wishes. What do you say?” I smiled proudly.

Johnny looked at me and nodded, but his expression told me that he was still trying to understand it.

“Where do you get these crazy ideas from?”

“It’s just in my genes. I'm smart,” I winked.

“Yeah, fuck you.”

“Fuck you, are you in?” I snapped my finger and pointed at him.

“Have I ever backed down?” He grinned lightheartedly, "But what will I get after winning?”

“You have to win first. And by the way, you will never win, so it will be me who will be ordering you.”

“That’s a nice fantasy, baby. Oh... I got an excellent idea. Now I know what I want.”

“It will surprise me if it's not related to sex. I know how men are.” I rolled my eyes.

“You really are smart. Okay, if I win you have to give me a...” he gestured down.

“Disgusting, Johnny. I will never do that. Don’t ever think that I'll do that. How can you say that? I mean, we eat with the same mouth and then...No, absolutely not.”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t watched any porn.”

“I haven't.”

“Liar.”

We agreed on playing the game. The place we chose was a subway train. Later on, I would regret that decision, because he tricked me. I should have chosen a park or a more crowded place.

Johnny went to his new job working in a nearby factory. We decided that at lunch time, he would board the train we had decided upon. I had to be there in total disguise. If I hadn't run away with him, then it would have been much easier. I used to have my own makeup artist and  dresser, but I finally had to manage everything on my own.

After lots of thinking, I decided that I would go disguised as an old lady. I went to a costume shop and borrowed a few things. I wore a scarf over my head to hide my neck and face. Now the only thing bothering me was the train. There had to be as many people as possible. Thankfully, the car was quite full.