Never say forever (Never series Book 1) (18 page)

I wrap my arms around his neck and embrace him. I kiss him hungrily, trying to feel that connection we have. I can get lost in him. Just the smell of him, the taste of him and his touch send me needing more, craving more. I can never get enough of him.

I step away from him and walk under the tree. I am walking slowly because right now my nerves are causing me to tremble. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for so
why am I having trouble with delivering this? Oh that’s right, because he can easily walk out and take the coward way out.

I grab the metallic blue present that’s laying by itself under the tree. I walk back, feeling crazed with all these thoughts running through my mind. I hand him the present and stand across from him. I close my eyes for a brief moment because it almost hurts to look.

He opens the wrapping and pulls out a cookie. The cookie says baby on it. I don’t see any difference, probably because I call him baby. The second cookie he picks up is the one that really sets my anxiety at bay. That’s the cookie that has the sonogram picture on it. He’s staring at it, not saying a word. I’m mentally freaking out at this point. I don’t think I’ll survive heartache. He hasn’t looked up yet and I want to scream. The adrenaline in my body is on fire because of the nervousness at bay. He needs to say something, do something, before I have a mental breakdown.

He looks right at me and that’s all it takes for the tears to start streaming down my face. Why hasn’t he said anything?

“
Baby? You’re pregnant?” He doesn’t have much expression on his face so I’m not sure how he’s feeling about this. That’s what is starting to hurt. I nod my head because that’s all I can do. I can’t speak or I will sound like a little kid that got their candy stolen.

“
How is this possible? We used a condom every time,” he questions and my heart sinks more. That question alone just sends the signal that this isn’t what he wants. He is going to leave me.

“
Condoms aren’t a hundred percent effective.” Those are the only words I can get out because I am hurting.

I look down because I can’t take it anymore. The more I look at him the more the tears flow, because he’s not giving me a response. It takes a few minutes and I feel a hand at me cheek. I look up and he brushed my hair behind my ears. “I know you’re not ready and you didn’t want this and I’m terribly sorry.” That’s totally not the reaction I wanted from him.

“
I won’t however say I’m sorry that I’m happy. I want this baby more than anything. Our love is strong enough to last a lifetime. This baby is a sign of it. I can’t tell you what to do, but baby if you keep this baby, I will do whatever it takes to take care of you two. Everything will work out the way we want. I’m in this for the long haul. I’ll stick by your side no matter what, that’s what love is for right? Thick and thin, baby! Always!” He kisses my forehead and leans his head to mine and closes his eyes. “My Violet, making my dreams come true, one step at a time.” I’m stunned, baffled, I can’t speak. He just grabbed hold of my heart and never let go. He has my heart for life. I kiss him happily.

“
I’m so happy to hear that. I was afraid you would bail on me.” I know I’m insane for thinking that but I’m a girl. We always think like that. Plus it doesn’t help with the pregnancy hormones.

“
No way, you’re my one love baby. That will never change. A baby on the way? That just makes my heart grow larger. You already consume my whole heart, now I need to grow to make room for the baby,” he says as he places his hand upon my stomach. He leans down and kisses my tummy. “I love you, new baby.” My emotions can’t handle all this. I can’t cry anymore, regardless of happiness or sadness. I am emotionally exhausted.

He stands up and asks me about the cookies. I start laughing “Well I figured I’d make the cookies, because you and Larissa keep messing with me about my burnt cookies. I had the help of Abby to write the baby on the one and to transfer an edible image of the baby sonogram on the other one.”

He laughed. “Well I’m not eating them. Not because you made them, but because this is the best gift I could possibly ask for. I am going to save this. This came from your heart. You could have just told me but you decided to be creative and I love it.”

He smiled at me as he leaned down and kissed me passionately.

When we both came up for air I said. “I love your gift too, means
more than you could possibly imagine. This will be around my neck at all times. Your heart to mine. I love you so much.”

“
I love you too baby. I’m excited for what our future has in store for us and our little mini me.” He smiles. This moment right here is going to be stored in my favorite moment slot in my memory. I don’t think anything can top this moment or how I feel. This is what I call pure happiness.

***

Aiden

I spent all of Christmas day with Serena. I’m not lying when I say this has been the best Christmas to date. I can’t believe she’s pregnant! Its great news but at the same time I’m scared out of my mind. I am young and I don’t know anything about parenting but no matter how scared I am, I am prepared to make it work.

Before heading home, I do what I normally do in big situations like this. I go straight to visit my mother. I sit at her grave and talk endlessly about how happy I am. I tell her about the pregnancy and how I wish she was here to meet her grandbaby. I know I may look like a crazy person carrying on a conversation by myself but I know she can hear me and that’s all that matters. At one point, I actually cry because I am so happy that my emotions flow right out of me. I know if my mother was here face to face with me, I would be like a weeping baby. I hold my composure though so I don’t look too weak.

When I first opened that present I wasn’t sure what to think. I wasn’t sure where she stood with the
decision. I figured she was happy because she made this into a present but I couldn’t be too sure, so I didn’t show the joy I really wanted to show. I held back until I knew exactly what she wanted. My heart expanded the moment I seen her come apart in front of me, already loving this child like her life depended on it. I know the situation she’s in and that she was trying to avoid this, but the moment I saw the sparkle in her tear-stained eyes that this is something she wants more than anything, I had to hold myself together to prevent myself from breaking down. There’s so many things I wanted to tell her that I didn’t. I guess I can save that for another time. I told her what’s important to me and that’s all that matters.

I have to really hustle my ass and find a job. Everything will work out if I really set my mind to it. I leave the cemetery feeling
refreshed from getting all this out. On the way home I can’t help but make a phone call.

I dial a number and hear a female voice. “Well if it isn’t for the baby daddy?!”

“
Well hello to you to Abby! You knew about this and didn’t say anything. Payback Abby! Payback!” I threatened.

She started laughing. “Sorry man, it was a secret. Plus we had to make your present, so we couldn’t tell you. Don’t even tell me you would have rather found out a different way.”

“
Nah, I really enjoyed the present. She told me that you helped her make it. I just wanted to say thank you, after I busted your balls about not telling me. But anyways, thanks for being there for her.” I mean everything I say to her. Ben is my best friend and from the looks of it, Abby may be becoming Serena’s best friend. I’m grateful that she is here for Serena.

“
Anytime. I’m so excited. I know you’re going to be an amazing dad and I can’t wait to see the day you get to hold your baby.” I can tell she is overly excited.

“
I can’t wait for that day either. Anyways, let me let you go. I’m almost home and headed to bed. I am exhausted. Tell Ben I said hi and merry Christmas,” I said.

“
Okay. Later,” and she hangs up the phone.

I lay in bed with swarming thoughts of my baby floating around my mind. I think of everything from the gender to names. I am even thinking ahead and thinking about teaching my baby to ride a bike at the age of five. Life is great.

***

A week later when classes resumed I headed to school early. I’m about to do something I thought I would never do, but it’s one step closer to hopefully securing myself a great future.

I knock on the door. The door opens. “Well if it isn’t Aiden Clark! What might be the pleasure of your visit?”

“
Hi coach, I’d like to take you up on your offer to be part of the team,” I kind of stutter as I’m speaking. That’s because my nerves are on fire right now, this is extremely hard to do since what happened to my mother, but I have to put that behind me and think of Serena and my future baby. If I can secure my career in this, we could be set for life. Especially if I make it pro.

Coach smiles widely. “I’m so happy you reconsidered. Practice is after school. You don’t need to try out. I already know you’d make it. See you at tryouts.” He shakes my hand.

“
Thanks sir, I will try my best to be the best.”

“
That’s the spirit I want to hear. See you on the field.”

I walk out of the office and let out the breath I seemed to be holding.
That wasn’t so hard. I hope I can get my head together for practice.

***

Lunchtime rolls around and I see Serena and Larissa at the table. I’m not sure if she broke the news to Larissa, so I won’t say anything. I
get my food and sit by them. The girls are just chatting away, not even paying attention to me. They must be making up for some lost time.

I eat in silence listening to them gab away when Larissa stands up suddenly looking at her watch. “I have to go, I’ll see you later?”

Serena looks at her and nods. She’s in a hurry for some reason. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her leave lunch early.

“
Have you told Larissa?” I ask as I am taking a bite of my food.

“
Not yet. I’m waiting for the right moment. I haven’t told my mom yet either.”

“
I haven’t told my dad yet either. I think I’ll break the news to him tonight. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. I can’t meet you after school anymore.” She looks surprised and maybe a little bit hurt with my confession.

“
Why? You don’t want to spend time with me?” She’s pouting now.

“
No baby, I wish I could spend every moment with you. I decided to go back into football. So I will be pretty much practicing every day after school.”

I can see the shock on her face when I tell her that. Her mouth falls open. “I thought you said you would never play?”

“
I know but now that we have a baby, I need to step up my game. I need to put all my fears and insecurities in the past and think of us.” I smile at her and she sighed in relief.

“
I’m so proud of you. You simply amaze me. Good luck baby! Knock em all out,” she joked.

I’m happy that she is supportive of my decision. This makes everything much easier. The lunch bell rings and we kiss and depart to our classes.

After school I enter the men’s locker room and ready myself for practice. I put on all the gear and enter the field. The coach looks happy that I am here. We start practicing and my mind keeps altering to my mother. I still do great playing but I can’t stop my body from going into emotional
overdrive since the last time I was on this field I got that heart stopping call. Maybe I have this fear because in the back of my mind, I’m waiting for the coach to call me off the field to give me some bad news. I know it’s not going to happen but my mind keeps replaying that dreadful day. I know it’s too soon to get into this since the accident but I really have no choice at this point. I will have to conquer my fears to support and protect the ones I love.

Practice ends and coach pulls me off to the side. I don’t like this. My body goes rigid with anxiety for what’s to come. Flashbacks of that dreadful day appear. I remember the coach pulling me off the field because there was a phone call. When I answered, all I heard was my dad’s sobs. I couldn’t understand what he was saying because he was crying so hard. I knew something happened. He couldn’t talk to me so the phone was passed to someone else, apparently a doctor, who told me what happened. My knees gave out and I hit the floor when he told me the news that my mother was dead. It was all my fault. If she wasn’t rushing to my game, she would be here today.