New Title 4 (10 page)

Gloria allowed herself to slow down as she came up to the dog pile ahead of her. Now that she was allowing herself to move at something closer to normal speed she finally felt just how horribly her lungs burned. The edges of her vision were blackening, and she realized she was on the verge of collapse from the lack of oxygen to her brain. After all that she had a brief moment of fear that she was going to die from a stroke or something, and she had to force herself to take deep nourishing breaths instead of the short hyperventilating gasps her body wanted to take. Her limbs felt strange now, heavy and jittery like they wanted to fall off her body yet still keep running at the same time. Wylma s drug, whatever it had been, had worked well enough, but there still appeared to be some kinks in it. Kinks that could be deadly, she realized, if she had tried to continue running. She was definitely going to have to have a word with the woman.

As Gloria finally came to a rest by the werewolves, her hands on her knees as she continued with the struggle to breath, Fido stood up and came back towards her. Some of the hair had receded from the woman s face, and she looked more human as she held up the garbage bag towards Gloria.

Is this what you were looking for, Strippy? Fido asked, Or is there something else you need from them? She gestured back towards the two cyborgs. Both of their faces were scraped up with bits of metal showing from underneath their wounds, but the fact that they weren t completely human didn t seem to deter the other four wolves, all still in half-wolf form and pinning their two targets down, from salivating at the sight of prone prey.

ThatsexactlywhatIwaslookingforthankyoubut Gloria stopped. Apparently her limbs weren t the only thing Wylma s drug sped up, and it didn t appear ready to wear off yet. She tried again, this time concentrating on making her speech move normally.

And why the hell not? Fido asked. We just fucking helped you out, bitch. You owe at least letting us snack on those fuckers.

I don t owe you crap, Gloria said. Think of it as your repayment to me.
Repayment for what?
Your memory that short, Fido? For helping you out in that stupid turf war against the Walnut Creekers.
What hair was left on Fido bristled at the name. Hey, we didn t need your fucking help with that. We had it all just fine.
Gloria glared at her, and despite that Fido could probably rip her limb from limb in the space of a breath, the alpha werewolf still looked away with an uneasy whine. The Walnut Creek gang was one of the most powerful in the city, and they would have completely wiped out the Senator Park Lunatics if Gloria hadn t helped. Fido didn t like to be reminded of that, however. She was still embarrassed that she and her gang had almost been killed by a group of werebunnies. It didn t matter that werebunnies were the most vicious weres in existence, it still just sounded bad.
Besides, even if they had done something that I would let you kill them over, Gloria said, I still need to question them, find out what the hell this was all about.
What is all this fucking shit anyway? Fido asked as she eyed the garbage bag. Hey, isn t that the Omega?
Yep. Can I have the bag please?
Fido handed it over, but she did it with a new reluctance. That s all the shit that was taken from the Butcher s place, isn t it?
Gloria again resisted the urge to complain about the nickname issue. The Butcher and Strippy. Christ. Yep. That s exactly what it is.
Is it related to that phone call, then?
Gloria was so busy appreciating that air was once again easily entering her lungs that she almost didn t catch what Fido said. What?
I got a strange call on my cell something like ten, fifteen minutes ago. Somebody talking about giving me a whole shitload of power.
Gloria looked down at the two cyborgs. Tuffy stared up at her with a whole lot of quiet anger, but Muffy looked scared. Ten or fifteen minutes ago would have been right about the time that she and Caleb had been walking into the Snake s Sanctum. What else did they say? she asked.
Some guy said he had things that could give me unlimited power, and that if I wanted any of them I had to be at Leechman Park tonight at three with as much cash as I could carry.
Was it this guy right here? Gloria asked, pointing down at Muffy. He struggled briefly, but the two wolves on top of him held him firmly.
I don t know. Maybe. It s not like I ve really heard this guy speak yet.
All right. Fine. Muffy, what do you have to say?
Muffy opened his mouth to speak. Then his head exploded.
The movements were so quick and precise that Gloria didn t realize what exactly happened until she was able to put all the images she saw together again after the fact. Tuffy must have had more power left in her than any of the Lunatics had suspected, or else they had let their guard down at the critical moment. Either way, in one quick and quiet burst Tuffy flung her arms up, throwing away the two werewolves that had been holding her down, and then brought one fist down next to her. Her aim was too precise for it to be an accident. She could have only been aiming for Muffy s head. Despite the hardened metal skull that Gloria could see underneath Muffy s skin through his cuts, Tuffy s fist had to be harder. Or maybe there was some sort of self destruct mechanism built into the cyborg. Either way, with the horrid sound of rending metal reminiscent of a car accident, Muffy s head folded underneath the force of Tuffy s blow. Blood, brain matter and bits of metal showered the two werewolves, whom Gloria could immediately see had to fight not to go into blood-scent induced frenzy. The coppery odor distracted all five of the werewolves, in fact, enough that none of them made a move to stop Tuffy as she kick-jumped to her feet and dashed once more down the street to the east. She still had all the speed Gloria had witnessed before, but Gloria didn t think she had the energy anymore to give chase again.
Fido whined as she tried to watch both Tuffy and the bleeding corpse of Muffy at the same time. The animal part of her was probably completely confused, not sure whether to give chase to the escaping prey or to start munching on the semirobotic body spilling delicious-smelling blood right in front of her. Should we go after her? Fido asked. Gloria watched Tuffy as she turned down another street somewhere up ahead, and she shook her head. No. I ve got the bag, so I guess we can count this one in the win column. I don t even know what we would do if we got her, but I don t think any of us are in any shape to go after her. In response several of the werewolves whined, looking at Gloria with wide, pleading eyes.
You don t need this body anymore then, do you? Fido asked.
Gloria looked down at Muffy s corpse. There would have been a time when the thought of letting beasties like the werewolves eat a fresh humanoid corpse would have disgusted her. It didn t matter that this person had broken into an apartment and grabbed a whole bunch of bad juju-type items with the probable intent of ending the world. She still would have hated the idea. But that was before she had seen some of the Hill s crazy world. It was before she had seen perfectly innocent people sometimes die for no apparent reason. After things like that, she couldn t find it in herself to give Muffy any sympathy.
Go to it, I guess, Gloria said. Watch the metal parts. They ll probably chip your teeth. And I wouldn t leave any evidence for anyone to find in the morning.
She did at least have to turn away as the Lunatics set about ripping Muffy s flesh from his metal endoskeleton. Even she wasn t that jaded. Yet.

The next half hour for Phil after Caleb and Gloria left was interesting, to say the least. The first thing he had to do was bring Sue inside and explain her to Lucas. Phil held the door open for her, and she shambled into the store in that strange little childish way that he found cute. It was as though every time she looked at anything she saw it for the first time. That might have even been true of some things, as her memory was like a sieve. She seemed to recognize faces and people just fine, enough to even make attachments to people like Phil, and she had just enough memory for direction and location to make her way around the Hill. Other things, however, she seemed to forget quite easily. Professionals could probably make many interesting studies of the zombie mind if only people would stop trying to kill them.

Lucas wasn t in the main room of the store. Phil put a hand on Sue s shoulder to keep her from going any farther in. It wouldn t do for him to come around a corner and run right into her. He would probably go into a screaming fit.

Lucas? You in here, buddy? Come out, I need to explain something to you.
Uh, just a second, Lucas said. It sounded like he was in the back room, probably looking for something to repel what he believed to be a zombie invasion. There were some muffled scuffling sounds, and after a few more seconds Lucas became visible in the doorway behind the counter. Did you kill that thing? I m sorry I freaked, but I just He stopped as he saw Phil standing just inside the door with his hand on Sue s shoulder.
It s okay, Phil said. She s not going to do anything to hurt you. Or at least not as long as you don t make any sudden movements.
So what? She another customer? He started to look relieved, then Phil answered and he appeared to tense up again.
Actually, no. Lucas, this is Sue. She s my girlfriend. She s going to be sticking around for a little bit of my shift.
Lucas blinked several times. Okay, please tell me you re kidding.
Phil sighed. No, I m not. And I would kind of appreciate it if you didn t make any snide comments.
But she s, um, she s all nasty and gooey.
Hey! She can fricking hear you, you know. Phil glanced over at Susan as though to confirm this. She didn t appear to have heard Lucas at all, actually. She was too busy staring longingly at the Slim Jim rack.
Uh, right. Sure. Sorry, Lucas said. So is she just going to be hanging around, or what?
Well, since we re so slow I have some business to take care of with her.
Oh, Lucas said. He thought about that for a second, and then his face screwed up with disgust. Oh, ew! Please tell me you re not going to do that with
her
at
work
!
What? I don t oh. Oh, no, of course not, Phil said. But he couldn t make himself look Lucas in the eye as he said it. He would never do that at work, but whenever anyone brought up his intimate relationship with Sue, whether they just implied it or were insensitively blunt, he always felt a strange sense of shame. He shouldn t have had to feel that way about the person he loved. He shouldn t have been treated like what he did with her in private was gross or indecent. But he felt it anyway, and in those moments he hated himself for it.
Especially since anyone who had never had sex with a zombie had no idea what they were missing.
Look, she s shouldn t be around for too long, Phil said. We re already ahead on our work for the night, so why don t you just take it easy for now. She ll be here for half an hour, forty-five minutes tops. Unless we get a sudden rush, we probably won t have much to do in that time anyway, okay? Lucas nodded slowly, but he kept that disgusted look on his face. He disappeared into the back room again, leaving Phil up front to do what he had intended to do.
Phil didn t bother to check on Lucas for the next fifteen minutes. He figured the kid was just sitting in one of the chairs in back. From the occasional low mutterings he could hear it sounded like Lucas might have been talking on a cell phone, but Phil was too busy with Sue to care. The only customer wasn t really a customer, so he didn t need to worry much about manning the register, either. The customer was a local vampire, a grubby looking guy with a large pointy nose that often came around the OneStop, but he never actually bought anything. He just walked up and down the aisles counting things.
One, two, three! the vampire muttered to himself. Three cans of Spam, ah ah ah!
Let me know if you need any help with anything, Phil said from behind the counter. He kind of felt sorry for the guy. Obviously the vampire had some sort of mental issues, probably Obsessive Compulsive Disorder from the look of it. He was harmless, if a little annoying. Sue stared at the vampire s head the same way she had stared at the Slim Jims, but even she knew better than to try eating a vampire s brains. From what Phil had been told, they tasted gamey.
Okay, Sue, just pay attention, Phil said. She was standing on the opposite side of the counter from him, and he had the books he had brought sitting between them. There were three of them, and Phil had just finished paging through the first one. I kind of mistranslated the first book from the ancient runes. Turns out it s actually a cook book. But this second could actually help us out. It could help you talk again. That is what you want, right?
Sue turned to look at him. She looked for several seconds like she didn t remember him, and that look always just broke his heart.
Sue? Remember we talked about this? I m going to try to find a spell that would grow your tongue back. That s what you want, isn t it?
Sue blinked her left eye several times- it was the only one she had left- then slowly shook her head. It was tough sometimes trying to figure out when she actually meant what she said or if she was just confused, but he had to assume the latter for now. Of course she would want to speak again. Who wouldn t? And if he could grow that one part of her back, who knew what else he might be able to fix.
So here s what I think we need to do, Phil said. This page right here says that we need an eye of wombat and an ear of earthworm, but from what little I know about this magic stuff I think maybe The store echoed with an unzipping sound, and everything flashed green and purple. The OCD vampire went from counting twelve bags of Combos to the other side of the store counting four quarts of motor oil.
there s nothing in this book either that can help us at all, Phil said. He paused, realized what he had just said, and understood that it was now absolutely correct. Goddamn it. Someone used that stupid cube again.
Sue blinked both her eyes at him in confusion.
Well maybe there s still something in the third book Phil started, then stopped. Something else had changed with the cube s sudden use, but it didn t occur to him for several seconds. His memories of reality as it had been before this last change and after it were jumbled, and the confusion was keeping him from completely grasping what he was seeing. Sue blinked at him again. Still with both eyes.
Oh. Holy crap! Phil said. Sue, you you have both your eyes back!
She smiled at him. With her lips. They still weren t completely there, but there was more to them than there had been before. Except they had been there before. They d been like that for as long as he had known her.
Phil ran around to the other side of the counter and grabbed her by the shoulders. He suddenly remembered something else, something she d had from the beginning and yet hadn t just like everything else. Sue? Can you say something? Anything. She cocked her head and stared at him like he was crazy, but her mouth opened anyway and made what may very well have been the most beautiful noise he had ever heard in his life.
Sliiiiiiim Jiiiiiiim.
Haha! Phil said, and pulled her close for a hug. He stopped halfway through the motion, however, hesitated, and then decided what he should really be doing.
Instead of the hug, he pressed his lips to hers. They were still cold, but they didn t have quite the cracked or slimy feel they d had before (or had never had, depending on how he looked at it). He would have stopped there, except Sue, surprised but still apparently liking the sudden attention, closed her eyes and took it further, doing something she had never been able to do before. Phil felt her lips open ever so slightly, followed by the touch of her tongue. He was too surprised to do anything other than let her continue the kiss. To anyone else the feel of the partly decomposed tongue might have been vomit inducing. To Phil it might as well have been heaven.
One! One kiss, ah ah ah! The OCD vampire was standing directly beside them with a goofy smirk on his face. Phil pulled away from Sue and gave the customer a timid smile.
Right. Sorry about that. Can I help you with something?
The vampire held up a plastic package he had been holding in his hands. Two! Two windshield wiper blades, ah ah ah!
Oh, you actually want to buy something this time? Phil said. He tried to step away from Sue, but she continued to hold onto him by the arms. She had that look in her eyes she always got when she wanted to get amorous. As a zombie, her concept of the right time and place for such things wasn t very finely developed.
Sue, I need you to let go for now. I need to ah hell. Lucas? Could you please come out here and help this guy?
There was the sound of muffled movements from the back before Lucas spoke. Um, I m sort of busy at the moment.
What the hell is he doing back there
? Phil thought.
Masturbating
? Could you please just do it? he asked.
Lucas grumbled something incoherent from the back, and there were more muffled sounds before Lucas finally came out the door and went to his register. Sue s hands started roaming from Phil s arms to his stomach, and from there tried to go lower.
Honey, I know I suddenly got you all excited and I m sorry, but this is most definitely not the right uh. Huh. He backed away from her, but his concentration wasn t on her anymore. He hadn t given Lucas much notice ever since Caleb and Gloria had been by, but now the kid was only a few feet away. He stood at the register ringing up the vampire, obviously not happy about it, and he reached out for the customer s money. Phil hadn t seen it before because he hadn t been looking, but that had been before Gloria had shown him the syringe.
Lucas had a small puncture wound in the crook of his elbow right over the vein.