New World Rising (16 page)

I pulled away from Triven, pausing as he mumbled in his sleep. Quietly, I grabbed the maps and headed back down to the clock room. A greenish light poured in from all of the opaque faces. I paused, drinking in the light. This was the closest I had come to seeing daylight in almost six years. I knew the sun of Tartarus was not the one of my childhood. Out here the atmosphere was tainted by decay. If I went outside, there would be no blue sky, or golden sun. Just haze and smog that tinged the sun’s rays a greenish brown. It was easier to stand behind the frosted glass clock faces and pretend the world outside was that of my childhood rather than to face the truth of my reality.

After spreading the two maps over the aged floor, I folded my knees beneath me and began to study the pressed pages. The Master had kept them in perfect condition, the delicate papers only tinged slightly with inevitable age. Even after all of the years I had stood on rooftops looking down on the city, it still seemed strange to see it from this view, from so high above. One map contained elaborate photographs of the city before it crumbled into Tartarus. Vehicles could be seen on the streets, people on the sidewalks, no protruding mountains or wastelands to be seen. The aerial projection seemed surreal. The buildings stood straight, the streets were whole, it seemed nothing like the city I knew. But hidden in the structured order was something familiar. Shapes, that while whole, triggered some kind of recognition.

The other map was hand-drawn in great detail. There was no mistaking the dense line that represented The Wall. Outside of the line was nothing, like the world there didn’t exist. Inside there were marked buildings. The Master had labeled the structures from his memory but to me the sketched buildings meant nothing. I was actually disappointed I couldn’t remember.  Overlapping the two maps I joined the two worlds. The Wall seemed so much larger looking at it like this, so… impenetrable. That dark line was the only barricade between my past and my future. I traced the line. There were no tunnels, no hidden gaps in the heavy ink.

I pressed two fingers to my forehead and closed my eyes as I tried to visualize the maps in my mind.

I was sitting on top of the clock tower looking at the city below me, the city I knew. The buildings rose from the map in my mind like a popup book. The rubble and decay pressed against the impenetrable Wall. I could see it all. Placing my fingers on the map I traced the buildings as I visualized them. A creak on the stairs told me Triven was awake.

He was watching me, for how long before the old stairs gave him away I wasn’t sure. My fingers stopped as I met his eyes. The look in them brought a flush to my cheeks. He was wearing only an old grey stained tank top and his linen pants, his long-sleeved shirt removed sometime in his sleep. His bare skin was dark in the late daylight, the scars from years of surviving the streets prevalent against the otherwise smooth surface. His muscles flexed as he moved down the stairs towards me.  A thin line of dried blood still clung to his neck where The Master had cut him last night. The warmth of his eyes was magnified in the strangely green fading light. He looked like a warrior, like a god. I pushed away the feelings stirring in my chest. He loved me. I could see it in his eyes. But did I feel the same way? It was easier to be angry, to be alone. Love was scary. It was opening myself up to possible pain. But as he folded himself next to me to examine the maps, I knew I wanted him here. I needed him here. But did that mean I loved him? Or was I just being selfish, wanting his love but not willing to give mine in return?

“Is it my imagination or does it seem like a lot of the Ravagers’ warehouses border The Wall?” Triven’s finger traced the same line mine had.

I glanced back down at the maps, thankful for the distraction. He was right. Even now where my finger lay frozen, it fell over the Ravagers’ food warehouse. In fact, six of their well-known hangouts fell along The Wall. I pulled my hand back as his came too close. He didn’t seem to notice. I watched as his fingers moved to the map of The Sanctuary.

“What was it like there?” My words were barely audible. I didn’t look up, but I could feel Triven’s eyes on me. It took him a minute to answer.

“I wasn’t much older than you when we left The Sanctuary. There are things that I remember clearly and other things that are hard to separate from the stories my mother has retold me over the years. There were good things though. I remember having friends, going to classes and learning. I remember blue skies and sunshine. We never went hungry or worried about shelter. Every person was provided food and a home to live in and in return every citizen contributed to society. It was supposed to be a utopia.” I looked up to find him smiling sadly as he stared at the map, but it faded quickly.

“But that was just a façade. Life there was…measured. Everything we did, from when we ate to what we wore to what jobs we could work, was controlled. There were rules that had to be adhered to and those few who did not, tended to disappear. We were controlled by fear. I remember a boy in one of my classes questioning Minister Fandrin’s leadership during a history lesson. The teacher lashed him in front of the class, saying the boy’s impertinence should be a lesson for us all. He said the student was lucky he was only a child or he would have been thrown out into Tartarus for treason.”

I felt my chest tighten as Triven’s eyes met mine. Something in his words resonated in my broken mind.

“Military personnel dominated our population. There isn’t a day I can remember where they weren’t present in our lives. Walking the streets, arresting miscreants, enforcing the peace.” He shook his head pensively. “That’s quite the oxymoron isn’t it?
Enforcing
peace. As a child I thought the military was there to keep us safe, to protect us from the monsters that were outside of The Wall. But now, I realize it was never about protecting us, it was about controlling us.” Triven sat back from the maps, chewing absently on his thumbnail as he got lost in his own memories.

My mind was whirling with information. I wished I could remember something, anything, that somewhere in my brain Triven’s words would trigger some of my lost memories, but there was nothing. My past was still just a void. My fingers unconsciously traced the scar hidden beneath my hair. To my surprise Triven’s fingers followed mine, his hand cupping my face as they traced over my scar.

“Do you think this is why you can’t remember?” Concern flared in his gentle features.

I shrugged, shaking my head as I pushed his hand away.

“It’s going to be dark soon, we should eat and get ready to leave. The building The Mas-Xavier told us about is not far from here. I would like to scope it out tonight. If we have to be out in the daylight to follow their movements I want to plan our hiding places. It’s better if we stack the odds in our favor.” I got up and stretched. “I’ll find us something to eat. See if you can get anything else from the maps.”

TWO HOURS LATER
we were in motion again. As a precaution I packed up all of our things. Triven wanted to spend another night in the clock tower, but every particle of my being told me to move on. Too many years on the run had perhaps skewed my judgment on safety, but then again, it had also kept me alive.

The building was less than a mile from our hiding place and we made good time. Only once did we have to hide in the shadows as a group of Wraiths passed below us. I could hear the rattling of the human bones they wore around their necks as grotesque trophies before we saw them. Based on their formation, they were hunting someone. I hoped it was not one of our own. When they passed we moved on.

I knew the building Xavier spoke of. It was in the middle of an old warehouse district by the decaying canal. The entire area reeked of sewage. Eventually we had to pause to drape cloths over our noses and mouths as the smell became too overpowering. To most people the building looked just like the other dilapidated buildings in the area, but to me it was clearly a hideout. Unlike the surrounding buildings, all the windows and doors had been sealed off. They were blocked with graffitied boards, fallen rubble, or wrought iron bars. What looked like clusters of trash were actually well-placed barricades. After two laps around the building we realized the only way in were the double doors at the back of the alley. We were going to have to enter on street level. This meant exposure.

I hated exposure.

Leaving our bags concealed in an air duct and heavily laden with weapons, we began to climb down toward the streets. As our feet touched the pavement, a pack of wild dogs howled in the distance. A shiver of fear ran down my spine and we hastened our steps. The door was hidden in the shadows, barely visible from ground level. Sliding behind the dumpster, Triven followed my lead. There were no bolts on the doors, no chains to keep the unwanted out. Only the Ravagers would be so intentionally careless.

Mirroring my movements, Triven pressed his ear to the door. Our eyes locked as we listened for something, anything. His hazel eyes were clear windows to his thoughts. Despite his calm pretense, worry and fear still swam in their depths. I wondered if he saw the same in my own. We waited nearly a minute, unmoving and barely breathing, but no sounds came from inside.

With a hesitant nod, I moved to open the doors. But as my hand reached for the handles, Triven’s fingers wrapped around my wrist holding me back. I snapped to his face to question him, but my words caught in my throat. His worried eyes had steeled. He firmly shook his head and pulled me behind him. I knew what he was saying. This wasn’t about being chivalrous or his pride. He was telling me I was more important, that my life was worth more than his. Pain rose in my chest as he pulled back the door and entered first.

He had it wrong. He was the good one, the better of the two of us. I was too damaged, but Triven still had hope. Anger rose within me. How dare he choose me over himself. You had to look out for number one first if you wanted to survive here. And I needed him alive. Mouse needed someone better than me. She needed him. She deserved him.

As Triven moved into the shadows beyond the door, I pulled my gun and turned, scanning the alley again. If he was going to insist on playing the fool then the least I could do was watch his back. I backed through the doorway behind him keeping my eyes alert for any movement. I shifted with Triven in a backwards dance. As he moved to close the door, I scanned the vast darkness in the warehouse. When the door closed behind me, it took everything I had not to scream. I swallowed back the rising panic. Despite my restraint, I jumped back into Triven’s chest when a light came on. It wasn’t bright but it was enough to see. My eyes flew around the room looking not for the source but for who turned it on.

“It’s triggered by the doors.” Triven whispered. I turned as he thumbed a latch by the door causing the lights to flicker. “When the door opens the lights go out.”

“That seems unusually smart for a Ravager.” I muttered stepping further inside and pulling the cloth from my mouth. The stench from outside hadn’t penetrated the walls.

We were unquestionably alone. The huge room was barren, stripped down to the shell and structure. The floors were solid concrete with a few drainage grates. Conspicuous rust colored spatters flecked the grey surface. The walls were made of smooth cinderblock and the ceiling was nearly forty feet up. Even I would have a hard time getting up to the few exposed beams above us. There was no furniture, no racking and no chance of concealment.

Triven’s forehead was pinched as he made the same assessment. There was no place to hide and only one way out. This place was a death trap and we both knew it. Raising our guns, we both began to move back towards the door.

We were less than ten feet from the door when my skin began to crawl. Triven stiffened by my side.

We had both heard it.

The distinct sound of gravel crunching beneath shoes. As the foot falls got louder there were muffled voices that accompanied them. The hair rose on the back of my neck. I could hear the clinking of metal piercings, the squeal of leather rubbing on leather. Fear and adrenaline began to pulse through my veins. They were Ravagers. But the part that worried me was that they were speaking in hushed tones. Never in my life had I ever heard a Ravager advance quietly.

They would open that door in mere seconds and we were trapped.

MY EYES NATURALLY
took to the ceiling, searching the beams for a place to hide even though I knew there was nothing there. Everything was too open, too exposed. The rapid beating of my heart pulsed in my ears. We were trapped. I jumped when Triven’s hand closed around my wrist.

I turned to meet his green eyes. Instead of finding panic, they were strangely apologetic. “I’m sorry, but it’s the only way. I will be right here with you.”

My eyes traveled to his left hand. It was holding up a metal grate in the floor. The tendons in my throat constricted violently. Before I could pull away, he yanked forward, throwing me effortless under the grate. It was all I could do not to scream. I fell face first into the shallow pit, the stench instantly transforming me back into that scared eleven-year-old. I pushed myself up, trying to escape, but Triven’s body crashed down on me pinning me to the ground. He pushed me onto my back and laid down next to me as the grate clanked shut. The bars seemed to close in, pressing in on me, crushing me. My body began to shake uncontrollably.

“Close your eyes.” Triven whispered. There was fear in his voice, but it was still steady. “I’m here, Prea. I’m not leaving you.”

I pressed my palm over my mouth, stifling my ragged breathing just as the door opened. The light went out as they moved inside. Shadows passed over us and I stopped breathing. Then the door clicked shut and the light came back on. The sole of a dress shoe was hovering inches from my face. I closed my eyes. Our hiding place was cast into shadow. The dim light was barely strong enough to reach us and with our dark clothing we would just disappear. As long as they didn’t look down for too long we just might remain unseen.

I tried to envision myself somewhere else, anywhere else, but the smell was too familiar. Closing my eyes only made it worse, but I couldn’t make them open. I could see my parents’ faces, their blood spilling onto the darkened pavement. My mother’s screams began to echo in my ears.

Triven’s hand closed over mine, squeezing lightly, pulling me back from the darkest depths of my mind.

I tried to calm myself.

I wasn’t alone. We were together.

I tried to focus on the voices talking above us.

“Please tell me you’re not wasting my time with this drivel. Have you found what I asked for?” A deep voice silenced all of the others.

“We did—”

I recognized the second voice, but couldn’t place it.

“Then why are you empty-handed?” The deeper voice was like ice. It trickled down my eardrums chilling its way to my bones.

“There was a complication…”

“I don’t have time for complications. We have paid you handsomely and expected results.”

“We know, we are—”

“I don’t think you do. I think you have forgotten who’s in charge.”

I bit into my palm as the gunshot rang out. There was a hollow thud of a body hitting the concrete floor. Even with my eyes closed I knew it was blood that splattered my face. The warm droplets dripped down my cheek, pooling as they caught in the hollow of my ear. The salty copper smell made my stomach churn. I pressed my fingers over my nose to keep from breathing, trying to suppress the gag spasming in my throat. It was too much. The smell of the blood mixed with the stench of the sewer. Images of my parents’ deaths were flashing in my mind again. I barely heard the man speak above us.

“Next time it will be
your
head. Find the girl.”

The noises swirled around me. More voices, sounds of feet and something heavy being dragged away. It was dark and then light again. Then there was silence, dragging, agonizing silence.

As soon as Triven lifted the gate I exploded past him, barely making it to my knees before I retched. My body was heaving and shaking so violently my teeth rattled. Something touched me and I lunged to my feet, backing away.

Triven reached for me again and I bolted. I didn’t remember touching the door or scaling the wall we had so carefully climbed before, but I was on the rooftops again somehow. Something warm wetted my cheeks and my eyes began to blur, but I still ran. I ran until I couldn’t feel my legs, until I couldn’t breathe.

I collapsed, the rough rooftop cutting into my knees and palms. A high-pitched keening reverberated from my chest. I knew I should be quiet, that I should stop, but I couldn’t. Someone was approaching me, but I didn’t care. Let them kill me. Let them stop my pain. But there was no such luck.

I didn’t cringe when he touched me this time. Instead I fell back into his waiting arms. They were so warm, so desirable. At that moment I wanted to feel something, anything other than the building pain. I wanted to forget. Forget my past. Forget my name.

Triven stiffened as I crushed my lips to his. He hesitated.

“Please.” I pleaded between kisses. “Please… I need to feel something, anything other than this. Please…”

I let out a sigh of relief as his lips responded to mine. They were hesitant but he was giving in. But it wasn’t enough. The tears were still streaming down my face, salting our kisses. I needed more. I wanted to lose all of the pieces I had been hanging on to. I didn’t want them anymore. I didn’t want to be
me
anymore.

My hands roamed to his chest, pushing up his shirt, pulling at the buttons on his pants. His reaction was instantaneous. He pushed me away, grabbing my wrists to restrict my hands. His eyes were wide with pain and understanding.

“No Prea. Not like this.”

I crumpled in defeat, letting my hands fall limp in his grip. Then the sobs came, wracking my body with fierce convulsions. Heavy arms wrapped around me, gathering me in their shelter. It hurt. Everything hurt. All of the pain I had repressed for so many years flooded my mind, drowning me. It could have been minutes or hours or days, I didn’t know. I thought maybe I would die from the pain, but it only persevered. The only thing that held me to this earth, that kept my life grounded, were the arms holding me.

EVENTUALLY THE SOBS
quieted and my body slowly stopped shaking. Triven kept me pressed to his chest, but he never said a word. I was revolted with myself. Despite all of my bravado, all my effort to keep up the hardened façade, he now knew how broken I was. And there was no taking it back. I hated him… I hated that he made me get into the grate. I hated that he was stronger than me. I hated that he was a better person than I was. But what I hated most is that I didn't hate him at all.

Honestly, it scared me. For years I had repressed my emotions, choked back my fear just as I did my screams every morning. But tonight, in that grate, everything finally caught up to me. Despite my best efforts I couldn’t outrun my past. The repressed memories mauled me with their razored talons until I lay raw and naked. The little girl I had thought died—that I had desperately wanted to die in the alley— was still alive somewhere in me. And her presence burned. The little girl had never left. I had just bound and gagged her. Kept her temporarily silent.

Then, something in my mind clicked. Words came to me through the haze. What had the deep-voiced man said tonight?

“Find the girl.” I whispered to myself as the gears clicked back into place. A completely different kind of fear overshadowed my thoughts.

“What?” Triven relaxed his grip on me. Pushing him away I sprung to me feet in a panic.

“Find the girl!” I screamed at him.

He looked back at me lost. His dark eyebrows pulled together.

“Find
the
girl, Triven! Those men tonight, they were from The Sanctuary weren’t they?” My body was vibrating with tension.

“Yes… well some of them I think. But there were Ravagers too, the one with the eye patch seemed to be in charge.”

I was thankful he had kept his eyes open when I could not. I knew I recognized that voice.

“I know who they’re looking for.” I snatched my bag from Triven’s side. He must have grabbed it before following me. I turned and started walking in the opposite direction, shoving all of my own pain back down.

“How?” Triven grabbed his bag and jogged after me, perplexed.

“Because of the man with the eye patch.”

“You know him?”

“I’m the one who gave him that eye patch. I threw a knife in his eye when I rescued the girl from him.” I stopped dead, staring pointedly at him.

“It’s Mouse…” He realized his eyes widened with fear.