Read Nice Dragons Finish Last (Heartstrikers) Online
Authors: Rachel Aaron
Julius shuddered. What a horrible thought. “Don’t the hunters kill them?”
“When they can get ‘em, sure,” Ross said. “But the bounty jockeys never come down here to eliminate the problem at the source. That’s where we come in.” He jerked his head at the lake. “We were only a few weeks away from having the power necessary for the ritual to cleanse this place. Now, thanks to you, we can use that magic for other things. Lampreys aren’t the only monsters that nest down here, and we make it our business to clean them out. That’s our work—making this city safer for the people who don’t have the money or pull to buy Algonquin’s protection.”
“Right, right, very noble,” Marci said, angling in front of Julius. “How much is the bounty on those lampreys again?”
“Marci!”
Julius hissed.
“What?” she whispered back. “We’re broke.”
The alligator shaman watched this exchange with a wary eye. “Ten dollars a head, last I saw,” he answered slowly. “Hardly worth dying for, but never let it be said Algonquin overspent on something as trivial as preventing her people from being snatched off the street by wild animals.” He shook his head and turned back to Julius. “Again, thank you for what you did here. Even if it was an accident, our city’s a safer place now, and that’s always a good thing. We’ll clean up the water and put down wards to keep this area clear, and to make sure we don’t draw any death spirits. In the meantime, I’ll be happy to assign someone to escort you back to the surface so you don’t get ‘lost’ again.”
He finished with a pointed look that made it clear he knew perfectly well they’d been trying to sneak up on his stronghold from behind. If the alligator shaman hadn’t been the leader of a seemingly selfless band of eco-mage crusaders, Julius would have almost suspected him of leaving the lamprey nest on purpose to guard his back. But all the other humans looked too genuinely relieved as they gathered the slimy lamprey bodies into piles for disposal for him to suspect Ross on that angle at least. The destroyed nest was clearly a true and loathsome menace, and everyone seemed glad to be rid of it.
Well, Julius thought with a sigh, at least something good had come out of this. For his part, he was ready to call it a night. He was filthy and exhausted and his head was throbbing. Add in his behavior toward his mother and his brother and it was clearly time to throw in the towel. He needed time to make a new plan anyway now that he’d decided to stop doing things that didn’t feel right, which definitely included hunting down and chaining runaway dragons. He wasn’t sure if there
was
a solution to this mess that would sit well with him, but at the moment, Julius was too relieved by the idea that he wouldn’t have to put his boot on Katya’s neck to care.
“An escort would be great,” he said, pulling out his phone. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you my number in case Katya comes back. As I said, I just want to talk to her, so if you could pass on the message, I’d really appreciate it.”
Ross glowered suspiciously for a moment, then he shrugged and pulled out a brand new, top-of-the-line AR smartphone, the kind that kept the augmented reality field running around you at all times even when you weren’t directly touching it. Devices like that were worth more than most cars, and Julius had to act fast to hide his surprise that Ross owned one. Clearly, something down here paid very well, a fact that did not escape Marci.
“Hold on a sec,” she said. “If we’re wrapping this up, then you need to tell your people to stop stealing our lampreys.”
Ross blinked. “Excuse me?”
Marci pointed at the bloody water. “You said it yourself. Those lampreys have a bounty of ten bucks a head, and since we killed them under the direction of my employer”—she pointed back at Julius—“they belong to him. Not you.”
Ross’s face turned scarlet. “We’re not
stealing
anything!” he shouted. “This is an eco-magical disaster area! A reflection of Algonquin’s completely irresponsible attitude toward the safety of her citizens and the magical health of any land that isn’t under her lakes! The whole reason we’re down here is to clean up this sort of thing. These bodies need to be properly disposed of to prevent any further contamination of the natural magic. You can’t just haul them up and hawk them to Algonquin’s corporate stooges for a paltry ten dollars! What kind of sell-out are you?”
“The kind who likes to be paid for her work,” Marci said, lifting her chin. “And ten bucks each isn’t paltry when you’re working with this sort of volume.”
As much as Julius agreed with the alligator shaman’s moral high ground, Marci did have a point. They were desperately short on money, and there were a
lot
of dead lampreys lying around. Hundreds easily, and that wasn’t even counting the big one. At ten dollars a head, that added up.
“This isn’t about money,” Ross said, his voice underlined by a distinctly reptilian growl. “We’re doing what’s right for the good of everyone. I know as a Thaumaturge you have no connection to the land, but
some
of us—”
“What?”
Marci shrieked, and Julius winced. He could practically see the storm of righteous indignation building around her, and Ross wasn’t much better. Alligators were apparently much less laid-back spirit guides than albatrosses. If Julius didn’t do something fast to defuse the situation, this was going to turn into a full-scale duel.
“I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves,” he said, stepping between the two mages. “Mr. Vedder, we understand and respect what you’re trying to do here, but my partner”—he grabbed Marci and pulled her to his side, partially to show solidarity, but mostly to keep her from throwing any spells—“also had a valid point. That said, I see no reason we can’t find an arrangement that will make us all happy. I understand your movement down here is well-funded, correct?”
That was a wild guess, but phones like Ross’s didn’t come cheap. Neither did a full suit of what was certainly humanely sourced alligator leather. There had to be money coming in from somewhere to keep this crusade rolling, and sure enough, Ross shut his mouth, reaching up to rub the back of his head in a way that looked almost embarrassed.
“I fund it,” he said quietly. “My dad’s the CEO of a mana-tech integration company. He set me up with a few million back when I was a teenager to keep me out of his hair, but that doesn’t mean I’m just a trust fund kid playing around down here.”
“You sure?” Marci said before Julius elbowed her.
“I got into this work precisely to fight back against the damage corporate raiders like my dad do to our communities,” Ross growled. “Algonquin guards the lakes and the spirits who obey her, but she couldn’t care less about what happens to the rest of us. Guys like my dad make a living taking advantage of that, abusing whomever they can to make a buck. I wouldn’t touch his money if I could help it, but do you know how much it costs to keep wards running down here?”
“I’m guessing more than comes in through donations,” Julius said.
“By a factor of ten,” Ross replied. “We need money for our work, and if I’ve got it, then why not spend it doing good?”
“I completely agree,” Julius said quickly before Marci could open her mouth. “It’s clear to me that you and your people are providing a vital and critically underappreciated service down here. I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you’re not in financial danger.”
The alligator shaman seemed caught off guard by this sudden and effusive praise. “Well, thank you. I’m glad you’re on our side.”
“I absolutely am,” Julius said. “Of course, knowing all that, I’m sure you’ll understand why I can’t just give you this job
pro bono
. My partner and I aren’t fully funded, and we need the money. That said, I’d much rather deal with you than Algonquin’s people, so how about a compromise?”
That was his best shot at making this work, and he held his breath while Ross scratched his beard thoughtfully. Then, at last, the shaman said, “What did you have in mind?”
“I was thinking rather than turn the lampreys in for the bounty, we’d sell them all to you as-is for a flat rate,” Julius explained. “That way, we’ll still get paid fairly for our work, and you’ll get to clean your lake exactly as you like. Everyone wins, what do you say?”
Ross glanced at the bloody water. “That sounds fair to me, assuming we can agree on a price.” He thought about it a second longer, and then his head dipped in a sharp nod. “I don’t see why we couldn’t make it work. Let me talk to my co-chair. Hold on a moment.”
Grinning wide, Julius motioned for him to do as he liked. The moment the shaman was out of earshot, Marci grabbed Julius’s arm.
“What are you doing?” she whispered fiercely. “Don’t cut a deal with these lunatics! Especially not for a
flat fee
! We don’t even know how many lampreys we’re talking about yet. You could be giving away thousands of dollars!”
“I’m not giving away anything,” he said, gently prying her fingers loose before he lost all feeling in his hand. “Look around. Do you know how long it would take us haul these bodies through the sewers to the Animal Control office to collect our payout? Even if we carried them up two at a time, it would take us days of non-stop hard labor to empty this place. If you calculate that out to an hourly rate, we’d make better money painting houses, and that’s assuming half the lampreys didn’t rot before we could get to them. If we sell to Ross, we get paid for the work we already did, and we don’t have to do any more, which is actually the best part of the deal. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Right now, I’d gladly
pay
several thousand dollars just to get out of here, take a shower, and never worry about touching another lamprey for as long as I live.”
Marci’s face pulled into into a scowl. “Okay,” she grumbled. “I’ll admit taking the money and running does have its appeal, but that doesn’t mean we should let them rip us off. I say we hold out for forty thousand.”
“Marci,” Julius said with a sigh. “There are not four thousand lampreys here.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “The point is that we killed something they couldn’t, and now we own the bodies, which they want. That puts them over a barrel, and when you’ve got someone over a barrel, you have to shake them until their pockets are empty. It’s the freelancer’s code.”
“I’m not shaking anyone,” he said firmly. “I said we were going to agree on a mutually fair price, and that’s what I mean to do.”
“Juliuuuuuus,” she moaned. “The guy’s a trust fund kid! He won’t even miss forty grand. Don’t be such a goody-two-shoes.”
“Refusing to take advantage of people doesn’t make me a goody-two-shoes,” Julius said sharply, making Marci flinch. Normally, that would have made him feel guilty. Right now, though, he had a point to make. “I know you don’t have much respect for shamans, but these people seem to be doing legitimate good work. They’re also Katya’s allies. We still need their help to find her, and I’m not going to torpedo our chances there by ripping them off for a one time gain.”
“Are you nuts?” Marci said. “This isn’t a kid’s show, Julius. It’s not like these people are going to suddenly change their minds and give you all the info on this Katya person just because you were square with them. They live in a
sewer
. We’ll probably never even see them again. If we don’t go for broke now, we’ll be SOL forever.”
“You never know,” Julius said. “I’m not saying it isn’t a gamble, but if I’m going to be taking risks, I’d rather take them doing what I think is right. That way, even if I do get ripped off, at least I’ll know I wasn’t the one being a jerk.”
Marci stared at him a moment, and then she threw up her hands. “Fine,” she said. “It’s your money. You want to pay the good karma fee, that’s your choice.”
The fact that she thought it was an idiotic one was clear from her voice, but Julius appreciated the gesture all the same. “Thank you, Marci.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, looking away. “Just never try and take that good nature to Vegas. You’ll get swindled down to your underwear before you can blink.”
That was a risk he was willing to take. For the first time Julius could remember, he actually felt good about something. Not just okay or not bad, but really, honestly
good
about his decision not to use his unexpected superior position to squeeze Katya’s alligator shaman for all he was worth. And when Ross returned with his co-chair—a stern, middle-aged Indian woman with shed snake skins woven into her hair—Julius greeted them with such a smile that the lady actually looked taken aback. This only made Julius grin wider as he settled his shoulder against the wall and dug in for some good, honest, old-fashioned haggling.