Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One (39 page)

     “Oh damn, baby.” I scooped her up in my arms as she
hung there limply. I watched her chest and mouth closely to make sure she was
indeed breathing, and thankfully she was.

     “Oh, my god. Is she going to be alright?” Amanda rushed
over with tears running down her cheeks.

     “Amanda, I told you, she’ll be fine.” Seth said
gruffly. “She just had a panic attack.”

     “I need to get her out of here, away from all these people.
She was trying to get away when it happened.” I stared down in anguish at her
now tranquil face.

     “I’ll go get my truck and bring it around.” Seth
declared running off.

     “I never meant…I didn’t know she was prone to panic
attacks.” Carrie’s aunt said stepping closer. She was lucky Carrie was in my
arms because I never felt more like hitting a woman; her and her sister,
Carrie’s mother…who didn’t even bother to come over to check on her daughter.

     I looked up and she smartly backed away. “Of course you
don’t, you’ve ignored her for four years. I don’t know why you came here today
lady, but I have a feeling it wasn’t to get reacquainted with your niece. I’m
going to tell you this once; don’t ever come near her again or it won’t matter
that you’re a woman.”

     She looked affronted and fearful at the same time as
she backed away. Blake, my teammate, and now it seemed Carrie’s cousin walked
up looking shell-shocked. “Is she really going to be alright?” He asked.

     I gave him a glare, not at all happy with any of her
family. “Do you really care? Her mother has treated her like shit for four
years and everyone else in her family has ignored her. I find it difficult to
believe that you finally care how she’s doing.”

     Sorrow crossed his face. “I do care. Please tell me, is
she really going to be alright?”

     “Yeah,” I grunted grudgingly. I’d known Blake for a
year and a half and I’d always considered him an upstanding guy, but what they
had all done to Carrie had me biased against the entire family now. “She used
to have them frequently that first year, and just recently she had another; she
wakes up tired and confused but fine…physically.” How she would feel mentally
is what had me worried? 

     Blake frowned. “I didn’t know she’d been released from
the hospital. The last time I saw Carrie was four and a half years ago at a
family gathering. Next thing I know my mother’s telling me that Uncle John
attacked her. She said Carrie defended herself but ended up killing Uncle John
in the process and because of this Carrie had a breakdown and was sent away to
a hospital. My mother said she wasn’t allowed visitors because of her delicate
mental state. I’d ask about her occasionally through the years and my mother
would tell me that she was still hospitalized. When did Carrie get released?”

     I stared down at her smoothing my fingers over her
cheek. “She was only in the hospital for a year. Then she went back to live
with her mother who blamed Carrie for every miserable thing that happened in
her life.” Blake looked surprised at the information and I presumed his mother
had kept Blake in the dark about Carrie being out hoping he’d forget he even
had a cousin. I looked over at the aunt and mother who were still hanging
around. Carrie’s mother was looking mutinous and not concerned at all for her
daughter’s welfare. “I would suggest that both of you leave, now.” I said
coldly.

     “I’ll get them out of here. I have some things I want
to discuss with my mother.” Blake’s face was tight with confusion and anger.
“When Carrie wakes up tell her that I wasn’t aware that she was out of the
hospital…” Blake looked at Carrie’s face and his expression twisted in grief.
“Just tell her I would like to meet her and get to know her again.” He turned
and walked away ushering both woman out the doors. Seconds later Seth burst in.

     “I’m parked right outside.” He said holding open the
door.

     As I hurried out the door I took note of Evan and
Landon working to dispel the crowd in a ‘nothing here to see’ manner. Noah and
Amanda followed me outside. “I’ll try to contain this; tell everyone her mom’s
bi-polar or something. Anyone that witnessed this won’t have a difficult time
believing it.” He glanced down at Carrie a concerned frown on his face. “Are
you taking her to the hospital?”

     “No, it’s happened before and she woke up fine. I’m
taking her to the house.” Seth held the back door open and I climbed in
cradling Carrie close. I gave Noah a grateful look, Amanda was clutching his
arm tears still seeping from her eyes. “Thanks, both of you.” They nodded
before stepping back so Seth could close the door.

     The next second we were headed to the house. I monitored
Carrie’s breathing closely still slightly panicked that she might stop
breathing again or have another nightmare episode while sleeping, but her chest
rose steadily and she slept undisturbed the entire drive back. Pulling into the
driveway Seth came around to open the door for me.

     “Do you want me to take her?”

     “No.” There was no way I was letting her out of my
arms. Scooting out I walked toward the front door that Seth was again holding
open for me. As I started walking up the stairs Carrie began stirring in my
arms. Her eyes blinked open slowly this time. I didn’t even want to think about
her waking up gasping for breath again like last time.

     Seth opened my bedroom door as Carrie’s eyes opened all
the way. She looked confused for a second, but then she saw me and the most
contented and happy smile crossed her face. My heart lifted at the sight.
However, it disappeared almost instantly as I saw awareness take hold
transforming the happiness into anguish so profound my heart ached.

     “It’s okay Carrie, I got you out of there and we’re at
my house now.” I sat down on my bed still holding her in my arms.

     Her body started to tremble and her hands came up to
cover her face as she started to sob, sob so deeply I was afraid she would pass
out again as her chest shuddered in and out taking in air. Motherfucker, I
wanted to go back and beat on those bitches.

     I rocked her. “Carrie, everything is going to be okay.
You won’t ever see them again, I promise.”

     “Do…c..ter Maa…th….ews.” Carrie gasped out.

      I caught on quickly even though she was pretty hard to
understand. “You want me to call Dr. Mathews?”

     She nodded jerkily into my chest. “I neee…d herrr,
p…leeasse.” She pleaded desolately.

     Her heartbroken tone was tearing out my chest. I’d
saved Dr. Mathews number in my phone in case I needed to call her for anything
concerning Carrie, but hadn’t dreamed it would be for something like this.

     “Seth, call one of the guys and have them get Dr.
Mathews number from my phone in my locker. Then call her and tell her what’s
going on.” Seth nodded and with a sorrow-filled look at Carrie he left to make
the call.

     I rolled over laying Carrie down on the bed. Folding
the blanket over her so that she was wrapped up I snuggled in behind her
against the blanket at her back in hopes of calming her trembling. She
continued to sob and all I could do was try my best to sooth her telling her
how much I loved her and that everything would be alright. After what seemed
like hours, but was more like fifteen or twenty minutes, her crying began to
slowly lessen into shaky breathing. Her body eventually relaxed into an
exhausted sleep but her breathing was still erratic.

     I wiped the tears that had trickled out of my eyes on
the blanket covering her. Her crying had been filled with such gut-wrenching
grief that it had tore at my guts. She gave another deep trembling breath in
her sleep and I tightened my hold on her.

     Worry for her consumed me. Was she just upset about her
past being aired in front of a crowd, or had her mother and aunt said something
to her that was causing her additional distress? Shit, just having her mother
treat her like that couldn’t have made her feel good about herself.

     Meeting her mother and realizing the depth of her
hatred for Carrie, and then thinking about her having to live with that for
three years made me livid, and overwhelmingly sad, but it also just revealed
how strong Carrie’s will really was. That Carrie had become such a gentle soul
through all the hate being directed at her was a miracle.

     However, I was afraid that she might have just reached
a crevasse she might not be able to pull herself up from.

     I watched the clock on my dresser sporadically and
after approximately an hour and twenty minutes there was a soft knock to my
door before it slowly opened. I turned my head to see Seth and Dr. Mathews
peeking in. Detaching myself carefully from Carrie so as not to wake her I
moved from the bed to the door. Stepping outside I left the door open a crack
behind me. 

     “Thanks for coming.” My voice came out rough from the
all the pent up emotions inside of me. 

     Dr. Mathews nodded and appraised me with extreme
concern. “I was informed over the phone what happened.” She shook her head
sadly. “I can’t believe her mother did that. How is Carrie?”

     I rubbed at my face feeling like I’d played twenty
games with Syracuse today instead of just the one. “She cried for twenty
minutes before falling into an exhausted sleep, and it’s not a fitful sleep.
I’m really worried about her. I don’t know what that aunt of hers or her mother
said to her before I got there but I’m sure it wasn’t anything good.” 

     Dr. Mathews glanced at the door. “I’ll go in and talk
to her.” She made to walk through the doors and when I went to follow she
stopped. “Let me do it alone, Nic. One person in easier to talk to than two and
some of her worries might concern you.”

     I didn’t want to be separated from Carrie after what
she’d just been through, and knowing that Dr, Mathews was probably correct
didn’t make it easier to accept, but I nodded in agreement. Grabbing a shirt
from my dresser since I’d stormed out of the locker room in only my shorts I
walked out of the room, but I only went as far as the opposite wall across from
my doorway. I might have to leave the room but I wasn’t going far. I slumped
down on the floor against the wall.

     “You want company?” Seth asked.

     I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands.
“Sure.”  

     He sat his substantial frame down next to me. “You
doing okay?”

     “No, I’m scared shitless.” I said bluntly. “She took
this bad, and I don’t blame her. What her mother did was fucking awful. She was
a complete bitch. I can’t believe Carrie’s had to deal with that for three
years. And then her aunt showing up after four years of ignoring Carrie; I know
they ambushed her for a reason and I think it might have really put a dent in
Carrie’s confidence. She’s so fucking strong, but she’s gone through so damn
much and shit keeps coming at her. How much more can she take?” I choked the
last words out and could feel more moisture gathering in my eyes.

     “She’s got you now to help her through it, and the rest
of us. It sounds like she didn’t have too many people to help her before, but
she does now.” Seth stated.

     I rubbed my neck. “If she accepts it. Carrie’s one of
those self-sacrificing people who’d step aside just so others won’t be put out.
She was afraid that her past would cause me problems and tried to put distance
between us before. This could just increase her reservations.”

     “And you’re a stubborn ass that doesn’t let much of
anything get in his way. She’ll realize the futility of fighting against that.”

     I exhaled a short laugh at his observation. “Yeah,
she’s already come across that part of me a time or two.”

     “Then it won’t be a surprise.”

     We were quiet for a while before Seth spoke up again.
“I’ve got something to tell you and I want you to listen and wait till I’m done
before saying anything.”

     The seriousness of Seth’s tone had me lifting my head.
He was leaning back against the wall looking straight ahead.

     “Shoot.” I said leaning back as well.

     “That night we first met Carrie I knew you were
interested in her…but I was as well.”

     I raised my brows at Seth’s words but was only mildly
surprised. All the guys had noticed how gorgeous Carrie was.

     “I actually went back to the restaurant to ask her out,
but was told she no longer worked there.”

     Those words raised my mild surprise to above moderate.
Like me Seth had never really shown any interest in any one girl, they just
sort of gravitated toward him because of what he represented. He was good
looking in a rough-honed way with his hard features and large size, and like me
he came from money. He’d been choosier and less frequent in his bedmates than
me, sometimes seeing the same girl for a few weeks at a time in a casual
way…and when I say casual I mean a sexual association only.  

     A self-depreciating expression crossed his face. “When
I found out you were seeing her I accepted it; dibs and everything, but as I
spent more time around her I began to get a little envious. She a great girl;
sweet, beautiful, funny. You were different with her, but I wondered if it was
just a passing thing…something new. It wasn’t difficult to see that she’d gone
through something and I became concerned at where your interest was leading,
but after a while I could see that it wasn’t just superficial. And then you
said you loved her. You surprised the shit out of me when you said that.” Seth
laughed in remembered astonishment. “So I reigned in my envy and tried to be
happy for you, even though I was still concerned about how fast you might be
going with her. I have to say when you two came down this morning I was feeling
some resentment.” He smiled sardonically but continued while staring forward.
“You had a dopey ass smile on your face and she looked ten shades of
embarrassed but happy at the same time.” He shook his head minutely. “That
stung a little, but it wasn’t deep and I knew that my feelings for her weren’t
as strong as yours definitely were. I was more concerned for her than
jealous.”