Nic's Devotion: An Endless Series: Book One (41 page)

Chapter Thirty-six

NIC

     I suited up half-heartedly for the team’s game against
Cornell. In the last month we’d lost a game, which I felt partly responsible
for, but won the next two. I should be happy about the two wins because a win
was a win, and no one on the team was pointing any fingers...well, except for
coach who was on my ass for being unfocused, but I knew I wasn’t playing up to
my usual standards. Not even my standards prior to Carrie. I was running
through the motions, the thrill and excitement of the game was absent.

     Nothing was the same without Carrie. I’d always thought
that if I had lacrosse than nothing else would matter. The game had meant
almost everything to me.

     Something else had taken its place though…someone had
taken its place.
Carrie
. I missed her like a missing limb. 

     It was killing me that she wouldn’t see me. She saw her
cousins Blake and Samantha. I knew she was forming a relationship with them,
and I was ecstatic for her that she finally had some family that cared about
her, but it didn’t stop me from being resentful as hell of the time they got to
spend with her.

     Amanda also visited her and each time she would come
back to the house and update me on how Carrie was doing. I’d listen and then go
to my room needing to be alone because I’d get upset and angry at not being the
one allowed to visit with her. 

     I knew what she was thinking and doing. She thought she
was a liability and made some asinine decision to try and do what was best for
me by stepping out of the picture. While I loved her for her selflessness her
reasoning this time was half-baked. She was the farthest thing from a
liability. I needed her in my life. She was accustomed to people abandoning her
but I was going to hound her until she eventually realized I wasn’t going
anywhere.

     “So, Cornell.” Landon said sliding his pads on next to
me.

     I didn’t look up from tying my shoes. Cornell was a
good team with precision team work, and if I played like I had in the last few
weeks it wasn’t looking good. It’s not like I thought I carried the team, but I
was an integral part of the teamwork that just wasn’t working all that well
lately. I felt like a defective cog in the team’s machinery. Moreover, the
atmosphere in the locker room wasn’t boding well for a winning game and that
was my fault as well since I was team captain and should be psyching them up. I
was actually thinking about benching myself.

     “They’re good.” Evan commented.

     “One of the best defense lines in the division.” Noah
added.

     I wondered where all this chit-chat was coming from.

     “Pretty uniforms.” Seth grunted.

    
Pretty uniforms!?
What in the hell? I glanced up
at Seth to see him putting on his pads like normal and looking as if he’d not
spoken the words, ‘pretty uniforms’. I was
pretty
damn sure that they’d
been uttered though.

     Looking around I saw Landon, Noah, and Evan nodding
their heads, as if agreeing with him.

     “Yep, they’re real pretty.” Landon said gravely.

     “Damn shame.” Evan repeated just as solemnly.

     I looked around at them thinking they must have lost
their minds. We did not have pre-game discussions on how pretty the other
teams’ uniforms were.

     Blake walked up. “You guys talking about the other
teams uniforms?” He asked with a frown.

    
Thank you!
It wasn’t just me thinking this was a
dumb-ass conversation.

     The guys all nodded.

     “Yeah, damn shame, red is one of my favorite colors.”
Blake said with a reflective twist of his lips.

     “What the fuck are all you going on about? Who cares
how pretty their fucking uniforms are?” I exclaimed in exasperation.

     They all looked at me. Seth spoke. “It would be a damn
fucking shame if we got beat by a bunch of pansies wearing pretty red
uniforms.” He said gruffly.

     The rest of them repeated together. “Damn fucking
shame.”

     I raised my brow at them. Was this some kind of weird
psych-up? “It would be a damn fucking shame to get beat by anyone.” I snapped
out.

     “YEAH!” They all yelled.

     If they were trying to get me all riled up for the game
I could give them riled-up. It was supposed to my fucking job anyway.
“Cornell’s got nothing on us!” I yelled standing up.

     They raised their fists and helmets. “YEAH!”

     “They’re just a bunch of pansies in pretty red fucking
uniforms!” I yelled. 

     “YEAH!” More guys joined in.

     “We’re going to turn those red fucking uniforms to
green and brown as we drag their asses all over the field today!” I shouted.

     “YEAH!” It sounded like everyone had joined in.

     “And send them home crying!” I looked around at the
throng that had formed around me. The entire team was yelling and banging their
helmets on lockers.

     “Who’s going to win today?” I shouted turning in
circle.

     “WE ARE!” They shouted back banging their helmets.

    “I didn’t hear you; who’s going to win today?” I yelled
louder staring into the faces of each of my teammates.

     “WE ARE! WE ARE! WE ARE!” They chanted.

     “Then let’s go kick their pretty red uniform asses and
win this game!” I yelled wrapping it up.

     The team scrambled for their gear and headed for the
field yelling and screaming for a win. I got slapped on the back or chest as
they filed out. I was feeling a little better about the game, but there was
still a yawning hole inside of me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do anything about
that at the moment. I had to wait for her to come to me.

     I filed out with the rest of the team onto the field.
We all lined up and I moved them through their pre-game drills. The other team
was doing the same thing in their pretty red ass uniforms on the opposite end
of the field. I tried to visualize it as red in front of a bull and they were
all going down.

     “Hey Nic, it looks like you’ve picked up an admirer in
the stands.” Landon yelled.

     “Landon, shut it and pay attention.” I shouted not at
all interested.

     “Shit, she’s hot.” Noah said with grin waving.

     “Noah, you already got a girlfriend. Maybe she’ll give
me a chance?” Evan also waved.

     The urge to bang their heads together was overwhelming.

     “Oh damn. She’s got it bad for you, Nic. She’s got a
sign and everything. Guess what it says?” Landon yelled with a grin.

     “I don’t fucking care what it says, now straighten your
asses up and pay attention.” I shouted beyond irritated.

     “Look at those eyes; I’ve never seen anything bluer.”
Noah said.

     Like he could see her damn eyes from here I groused
inwardly as they continued to rave about the girl.

     “And that mouth.” Evan said.

     “Black hair.” Seth, standing next to me as co-captain,
grunted.

     I was about to lay into him for feeding into the teams
distracting entertainment when their words finally hit me. Blue eyes. Mouth.
Black hair.

     Spinning around I scanned the stands and found her
almost immediately. She was sitting, no standing, behind the teams benches
holding a sign which I gave no thought to. I stood there in stunned disbelief
at seeing her here until someone gave me a push from behind.

    “Go say hello, I’ve covered this with coach.” Seth
grunted behind me.

     Needing no further encouragement I ran toward Carrie.
God, she was beautiful. A huge smile lit up her face and her hair was hanging
free lifting in the wind. With a leap I hauled myself up using the metal bars
making up the stadium railing and pulled her into my arms. The crowd around us
cheered but I ignored them.

     Lifting her off her feet I stuffed my face in her hair.
“Shit, I missed you.” I said inhaling her fragrance. Fuck! I needed to hold it
together and not cry like a pussy.

     She wrapped her arms around my neck and nodded against
my chest. “I missed you too, and I’m sorry it took me so long.”

     Pulling back I looked down into her bright blue
tear-filled eyes. “Are you just here for the day or are you back?”

     “I’m back and here to stay.” She smiled and the love
spilling from her face made my breath catch in hope.

     I pulled her back into my arms again. Holy shit, I’d
missed holding her. The sign she was clutching got smashed between us. I’d
completely forgotten about it because I’d been too focused on her. Pulling back
I looked down at it and almost lost my balance. In big blue letters were the
words, ‘NIC, I LOVE YOU!’

     Lifting my eyes from the sign to her face I grinned
shamelessly even as an overload of emotions constricted my heart. She must have
read my mind because she rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’ve become another one of your
many adoring fan girls.”

     I kissed her…hard, eliciting another cheer from the
crowd. “You’re the only one that matters. I love you.” I said against her lips
and I felt her lips curve against mine.

     Her hand cupped my jaw and she gazed directly into my
eyes. “I love you.” Her soft lips moved on mine gently as she spoke the most
important words I think I’d ever hear.

     I had to close my eyes as the words washed over me.
They seemed to release a heavy burden off my shoulders that I hadn’t even been aware
was weighing me down. I’d known that she’d been unable to say the words before
because she hadn’t fully trusted me…hadn’t trusted in herself. Her self-worth
had been nearly obliterated by prior rejections. That she was finally admitting
her feelings revealed that I at last had both her love and her trust. It was a
gift I was going to have to handle with care, and I planned to. 

     I opened my eyes and touched my forehead to hers.
“Thank you, sweetheart. You don’t know what those words mean to me.”  

     The crowds volume rose around us and I could hear my
name be called from both the stands and the field. Carrie pulled away and
looked behind me. “You’d better get back. They’re waving for you.”

     With one last kiss I jumped down from the wall.

     “Hey,” she called. Leaning over the wall she gave me a
playful grin and yelled. “Kick their asses.” The crowd around her screamed in
accord.

     I laughed; that had to be first time I’d heard her
swear. “Up one side and down the other.” I yelled back causing the same crowd
to go wild. I finally noticed Amanda standing next to her smiling and cheering,
and there was another girl cheering on her other side that I recognized as
Carrie’s cousin, Samantha. Blake had introduced her to me several days ago. 

     I turned and ran back toward my team who were waving
frantically just as the boom of the cannon went off announcing the start of the
game.

     Coach gave me a dark glare and waved me to the center
of the field for the coin toss. Seth and Noah jogged out with me.

     “Playing it kind of close there, weren’t you?” Seth
grumbled good-naturedly.

     I couldn’t keep the grin from my face. “You guys set me
up didn’t you?”

     Noah went the confused route. “Who, us? We were
innocent bystanders who got caught in the crosshairs of meddling females.
Amanda also threatened to castrate all of us if we breathed a word to you.”

     “It was emasculating.” Seth groused.

     “You guys are so fucking sweet.” I was laughing as we
reached the middle of the field while the other two vehemently denied any form
of sweetness on their part. The three guys from the other team looked at us in
bewilderment…which was an excellent way for us to start the game.

Chapter Thirty-seven

CARRIE

     “God, I missed you.” Nic mumbled into my neck as he
pulled me into his bedroom shutting the door behind us. His arms were wrapped
around me holding me tight. I was doing the same to him. I never wanted to let
him go.

      “I missed you, too. So much.” I mumbled back into his
chest. He’d showered after his game―a game that they’d won by six
points―and I couldn’t stop inhaling his fresh male scent.

     Nic lay down on his bed pulling me down on top of him.
I went willingly, savoring the feel of his body under mine. His hands cupped my
face and his lips attacked mine, and again I opened willingly. We then devoured
each other trying to make up for the time we’d lost. The time I’d made us lose.

     “I’m so sorry for hiding myself away and not letting
you in to see me.” I whispered when we came up for air and he latched onto the
skin of my jaw.

     He pulled away and his green eyes locked with mine. “If
it helped you being in there that’s all that matters. I hated not seeing you,
but again if it helped I accept it. You came out able to say you love me and
for that I’d put up with anything. I love you and I just want what’s best for
you.”

     My throat closed up at his words, at his acceptance of
me and all my problems. I unlocked my left hand from his hair and cupped his
cheek. “What helped me was knowing that you were waiting for me, that you
weren’t giving up on me even though I’d given up on me…on us. I allowed my mom
and aunt’s words to take root and almost let them destroy what we have.” Nic’s
expression went dark. I gave him a soft kiss to dispel dark memories. “You kept
telling me how strong you thought I was, but I wasn’t being strong hiding away
from the world and from you. I’ve always been afraid that people wouldn’t want
anything to do with me if they found out about my past. Most of them haven’t;
heck, most of them were my own family. I was afraid to completely believe in
you. That’s why I wasn’t able to tell you that I love you before. I thought you
would eventually get tired of all my problems and run. But you didn’t. It was
me that ran when it got too tough.”

     Nic groaned and tightened his arms around me. “Oh god,
baby. You were hurting. I don’t blame you after what happened. What your mom
and aunt did to you was inexcusable, and I’ll tell you this, everyone in that
hallway saw that. Your mom sounded like a crazy psychopath, and anyone that
blames you for what happened isn’t worth having in your life.” Nic growled
sounding angry and distressed for me at the same time.

     I smiled sadly. It still hurt that my mom had did what
she did, and I was finally coming to the conclusion that our relationship was
never going to be able to heal. My mom couldn’t acknowledge what her husband had
tried to do to me and until she did she would always be combating anger,
bitterness, and possibly guilt her whole life. It was just another thing I was
going to have to accept.

     It was a little easier to accept as I gazed into the
loving eyes looking up at me.

     “Amanda told me everything you did for me; talking to
John so I wouldn’t lose my job, and getting my shifts covered. Carl also came
by and told me that you talked to him. Not only were you not giving up on me you
were making sure that I could come back like nothing had happened. The letter
you sent me reminded me of your unwavering belief in me and I wanted to be
strong like you were always saying I was. I still need help with some…issues
but I don’t have to lock myself away to get it, and I trust in your feelings
for me so I’m not going to keep myself away from you for your own good
anymore.” I gave him a teasing smile but there was self-derision behind it. I’d
made a decision about his life thinking I knew better and that had been wrong.
I would have hated it if he had done the same to me.

     Leaning down I kissed him again, but Nic took over
gripping the back of my head and plundered my mouth fervently.

     After a while he lifted his lips fractionally from mine.
“No matter what I’ll always think of you as one of the strongest people I
know.” His lips caressed softly over mine with each word he uttered. “And I
totally knew what you were doing and I wasn’t going to let you get away with
it. In fact, expect some punishment later for that.” He growled.

     I couldn’t stop the totally inane smile curving my lips
at his threat. His eyes narrowed as if to give support to it, but I couldn’t
miss the twinkle in his eye. “I’m looking forward to it.” I replied impishly
giving him a quick peck on the lips. However, when I pulled back I gave him a
more serious look. “I really am sorry for not seeing you. I just felt like such
a head case.”

     His twinkle grew somber. “You are anything but that,
and you’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

     My heart swelled at his acceptance, because there was
still a part of me that thought my problems would just end up being too much.
“I wonder all the time how I came to deserve you.”

     Nic shook his head. “It’s the other way around, Carrie;
you are way too good for me.” He tilted my head down and took my mouth again in
a deep kiss that had us moving against each other in a way that was soon out of
control. I was breathing heavily and pulsing uncomfortably when he pulled away.

     “We should take a break or I’m going to have you naked
in a minute.” Nic groaned. His hands roamed down my back to grasp my butt
grinding me into him. I gasped in pleasure at the contact but then he was
pushing us up off the bed, and I whimpered at the separation. He set me on my
feet pushing me toward the door and gave me a smack on my butt. I whirled
around in surprise rubbing said anatomy. That had stung! But, god, it had also
caused a zing of arousal. 

     Nic just smiled wickedly. “Let’s go get something to
eat, I’m starving.”

     I tried to give him a glare but the smile pulling at my
lips was too hard to contain. “You should be, you did great today; four assists
and four goals.”

     He swept me back into his arms as he walked us out of
the room and down the stairs. “I finally got my good luck charm back.”

     “Well, you’re altogether too charming as it is. Did you
really need one?” I quipped back.

     He pinched my side making me squeak in surprise. “Love
that mouth, babe.” He whispered in my ear.

     I couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped as we walked
into the kitchen. I stopped dead though at the group of people congregating
around the table. All of Nic’s roommates were there, as well as Amanda, Blake,
and Samantha. While I was comfortable around Amanda, Blake, and Samantha, Nic’s
roommates were another matter. I wasn’t sure how they truly viewed me. They
were all smiling so that was at least a good sign.

     “It’s nice to finally see a smile on that ugly mug of
yours.” Landon said around a mouthful of pizza. In fact, everyone at the table
was chowing down on pizza.

     At first I thought Landon was talking to me and I
didn’t take his words to heart since he was smiling, but then Nic laughed
behind me as he directed me toward the table making me realize he was speaking
to Nic.

     “You hungry for some pizza, Carrie?” Evan asked with a
smile holding out a plate.

     I took it with an answering hesitant smile. “Yes, thank
you.”

     “Here Carrie, take a seat. I’ll get you a water.” Noah
jumped up and went to the refrigerator.

     Nic gave me a small push to sit down and I followed his
directive because I was a little bewildered by the attention, as well as feeling
a bit put on the spot because everyone was staring at me. The seat I took was
between Amanda and Samantha who each gave me huge smiles.

     “How were the reporter’s today, Nic. Nice…or all in
your face?” Blake asked with a grin. Thankfully, this turned the attention away
from me and I breathed a little easier. Noah came back to the table setting the
water in front of me and also handing one to Nic.

     I saw Nic throw a quick glance in my direction before
he answered Blake’s question. “Day in the life.” Nic replied.

     I gave a slight frown in his direction confused at the
cryptic reply but he just gave me a smile and squeezed my shoulder.

     “Well, you all played awesome today. It was one of the
best games I’ve seen so far.” Samantha said.

     After that the conversation turned to game highlights,
which was fine with me. I remained silent listening to everyone talk trying to
get used to the whole group dynamics thing. Someone tapped my foot under the
table twice and I looked around to see Seth give me a smile and a wink. Warmth
spilled through me and I smiled at his gesture of camaraderie since he hadn’t
said a word either.

     As I sat there it was starting to sink in that this
group consisted of people who cared about me. They’d stood by me and even
helped me out by taking shifts so I could keep my job. It could be because I
was Nic’s girlfriend, but even if it was they were still stepping out of their
way for me, making a place for me in their group.

     When there was a lull in the discussion I worked up the
nerve to speak. “Uhm…” Everyone’s eyes seemed to zero in on me instantly and my
face burned at the attention, but I pushed myself to continue. “Amanda told me
you guys have been covering my shifts at work so I wouldn’t lose my job and I
just wanted to say how much I appreciate that. It would have been difficult
finding a new job and one that I like as much. I’d tell you to add up your
hours so I could divvy up what you earned but somehow I don’t think that’s
going to happen.” Everyone gave me a grin and a shake of their heads. Nic
rubbed my shoulder. “That’s what I thought, so I’ll just say thank you and…” I
was starting to get chocked up, I needed to end this quick before I started
crying. “Just thank you.” I said thickly.

     “Hey, most of them didn’t know what a job was until
they covered for you. It was probably a good wake up call for them.” Seth
rumbled with a chuckle.

     “Hey, Richie Rich. You come from the same background as
us.” Landon stated indignantly.

     “Boy, I have a vast array of employment history. I
wasn’t a lay-about playboy like you.” Seth taunted.

     “I hate it when you call me boy. I’m the same age as
you, Pit. And you might get all dirty playing with your hammer and nails over
the summer, but I work too.” Landon grouched grabbing another slice of pizza.

     “Doing what? Holding up a desk and hitting on interns.”
Seth grunted with a crooked grin. He gave me another wink.

      Something flashed in Landon’s eyes before he seemed to
bank it. “It was a little more than that.” Landon grumbled taking a bite of his
slice. “I filed some, and got to use the company limo.” He looked up with a
grin, and everyone laughed as he made fun of himself, but I couldn’t help
thinking that it didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

     After the pizza had been eaten we moved into the living
room and Amanda brought out a game of trivial pursuit. We broke up into teams
and spent a couple hours joking and laughing until my face hurt from smiling so
hard.

     It was around seven o’clock at night when we packed it
in. Samantha had a little over an hour drive to get back home, so after giving
her a hug and a promise that we’d see each other soon, probably at the next
game, she headed out. Hanging out tonight had gone a long way in further cementing
my relationship with my cousins, as well as letting me get to know Nic’s
roommates better. 

     Noah and Amanda left after I thanked her for her help
today in surprising Nic. The guys, including Blake, were taking off to go to
one of their game parties that another teammate was hosting. This left Nic and
I alone in the house.

     Nic surprised me by scooping me up in his arms and
running up the stairs. I squealed at the sudden move holding on to him tightly.

     “What are you doing?” I laughed in both exhilaration
and terror.

     “I am so hot for you right now that if I don’t get you
behind closed doors soon I won’t care where we are or who interrupts as I start
ripping these clothes off you and kissing you everywhere.” Nic growled gravelly.

     Every part of my body burned at his announcement. “Oh,”
was all I could peep out. However, I did lift my hands to grip the back of his
hair caressing my lips over his jaw and neck causing him to groan and move
faster. He smelled so darn good and his soft scruff was back which I loved.

     Nic rushed through his door, slammed it shut, and
locked it. The next instant we were on his bed pressed sideways against each
other kissing frantically. I immediately hooked my leg over his hips and Nic’s
hand was instantly under my shirt and bra stroking my breast and nipple.
Incredibly, I’d gone from content and happy to painfully aroused in sixty
seconds. It was like my body had been waiting the whole day for this and
couldn’t wait any longer.

     “Oh, Nic. I missed you so much.” I sucked and nipped at
his lips.

     Nic was just as greedy with my mouth. “I missed you,
too. Seeing you laughing downstairs and so carefree, I want to see you like
that all the time.” He raised his head and looked me in the eye. “I love you,
Carrie.”

     I smiled a little tearfully. “I love you, too.”

     We came together again kissing feverishly. Nic pushed
my shirt and bra up over my breasts and began massaging and pinching my nipples
between his fingers. I arched into his touch reaching my hands under his shirt
to stroke his hard powerful back. The feel of his skin, both solid and smooth,
and the sensations he was causing from working my breast were making me dizzy
with pleasure.

     “Do you want us to get out of our shirts?” Nic asked
sucking on the skin below my ear.