No Child of Mine (50 page)

Downstairs in the kitchen Erica was staring across the garden at the shed. It was barely visible in the darkness, a black, shapeless mass lurking beneath the tree like a monster slumbering in the shadows. Earlier the lights had been on inside, turning the window into a huge, unblinking yellow eye staring back at her as if it knew all she was thinking.

He was on his way out there again now, she could hear
his footsteps crossing the kitchen, the sound of the back door opening and closing, the crunch of his feet on the gravel before he stepped on to the grass. He moved through the hazy moonlight like a spectre, vanished into the hulk of the shed, appeared again in the glow of the eye.

Ottilie had tried to run away.

She herself had done that once, but it hadn’t worked. It never did, it never could. There was only one way to escape, the way Jonathan had taken, and for that he’d needed her help.

Chapter Twenty

THE FOLLOWING MORNING
Anna was still in bed, trying to sleep off her jet lag, when Alex returned from a visit to Annie Ashe. Mercifully, Alex had found the struggling woman’s weight still to be on the decrease, and she’d been greatly encouraged to hear that Annie’s hours were to be increased at her part-time cleaning job.

‘If you go on like this,’ Alex told her, ‘then the kids will be back with you in no time at all.’

Annie beamed as she became teary-eyed with relief. ‘I’m doing me best,’ she said gruffly.

Indeed she was, which was why Alex was so fond of her. ‘Actually, I already have some good news,’ she told her softly. ‘I received notice yesterday that they’re going to be allowed to stay with you for the entire weekend from now on, instead of just the day on Sundays.’

Now, as Alex dumped her bags on the kitchen table, her heart was still singing with the pleasure of watching Annie laugh and weep with joy. At least some things worked out well, in fact plenty did, it was just that they were constantly overshadowed by the more difficult cases. Indeed, as her mobile rang and she saw who it was a cloud passed immediately over her spirits. ‘I’ve been waiting for your call,’ she told Vicky Barnes, Ottilie’s health visitor, while closing the door so as not to wake her mother. ‘Have you been to the Wades’ yet this morning? Ottilie was horribly upset when I took her home last night, I’ve been really worried about her since. Please tell me she’s all right.’

‘Mm, well, it’s hard to tell much when she doesn’t speak,’ Vicky answered, in a tone that sank Alex’s heart even further. ‘Which reminds me, I’ve made an appointment
with the speech therapist for the twenty-fourth of next month. The psychologist can see her an hour later if you feel she’s up to both visits on the same day.’

Fairly certain that Ottilie would be, Alex said, ‘I’ll take her myself. I don’t want her father speaking for her or failing to mention something vital – or managing to get out of it altogether.’

‘You think he’d do that?’

‘You haven’t met him, have you?’

‘No, only the mother and I’m right with you about her. She definitely needs a shrink’s assessment, and the sooner the better.’

‘It’s happening next Friday, at least it should be. If they cancel again there’s going to be trouble. But tell me about the vulvovaginitis. Did you see any signs of it?’

‘Yes, she’s definitely inflamed in that area and even a little swollen, which might have been caused by rubbing herself.’

‘So you’re not thinking the worst?’

‘No, but nor am I ruling it out, only the paediatrician can do that. You’ve got an appointment next week, you said in your email.’

‘That’s right. Sooner if I can get it. Otherwise, physically, she seems OK?’

‘Still slightly underweight for her age, but she’s gaining, which is good. Everything else seems to be functioning normally, apart from her readiness to speak, of course. She’s clean, well dressed, lives in an environment with a good level of hygiene, which is more than we can say for a lot of our kids. It’s going to be difficult to remove her, if that’s what you’re thinking, unless you can prove the mother’s mentally incapable, and even then, if the father puts up a fight, or gets in a nanny ...’

‘He’s quite opposed to a nanny at the moment, but he might well change his mind if the psych assessment shows that his wife shouldn’t be left in sole charge of the child. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted.’

As she rang off Alex turned to her mother who was coming into the kitchen, all bleary eyes and tousled hair, and felt an unexpected stirring of pleasure, even affection,
before her defences quickly sprang up again. ‘You’re looking rather gorgeous today,’ she quipped, impressing herself with how relaxed and familiar she could sound when inside she was a bundle of confusions.

With a splutter of surprised laughter, Anna said, ‘I’ve got to get myself on to English time or I won’t know whether I’m coming or going. Did I interrupt your call, I’m sorry.’

‘No, don’t be. It was Ottilie’s health visitor. Apparently Ottilie seems fine this morning, in so far as Ottilie’s ever fine.’

Anna sighed. ‘Well thank goodness for that,’ she declared, going to take the milk from the fridge as Alex poured two coffees. ‘I’ve been awake half the night worrying about her. She really didn’t want to go home, did she?’

As Alex shook her head she was picturing Ottilie’s heartbreak, and feeling wretched about it all over again. ‘I’m not proud of the way I got her to stop crying,’ she said, ‘but if I’d taken her back in that state, chances were her father would have tried to get me thrown off her case. As it stands I think he only tolerates me because he feels, better the devil you know – and because he thinks he can manipulate or intimidate me, which he’s quickly finding out he can’t.’

‘He sounds absolutely dreadful,’ Anna commented, taking her coffee to the table. ‘It upsets me to think of any child being with someone who doesn’t completely adore them, and having met her ...’ She shook her head in bewilderment.

Alex sighed. ‘I guess we have to believe that he does care for her, and remember that there are plenty of kids a whole lot worse off than she is. At least she’s fed, clothed, washed, has plenty of toys and a TV in her room – and is taken to nursery now ... Actually, when I put it like that she hardly sounds deprived at all.’

Looking as unconvinced as Alex clearly felt, Anna took a sip of her coffee and said, ‘So what’s on the agenda today? Do you have to go out again?’

‘Not until five when I’m due to see Gemma Knight. Her mother died quite recently, but after a bit of a tricky start
with her carers she’s starting to settle in. At least, I’m told she is, I’ll know for certain when I’ve seen her for myself.’

Anna’s expression was both tender and admiring. ‘I keep thinking about you and all your children,’ she said, ‘and I know this might sound silly, or ... Well, I was wondering if, in a way, you’re lavishing all the love and attention on them that I ... that you missed out on as a child. I mean, from me.’

Alex swallowed dryly. Though she’d occasionally wondered the same thing, it made her uncomfortable to hear it put into words, especially from her mother.

‘I’m sorry,’ Anna said, apparently realising she’d gone too far.

‘No, don’t be,’ Alex replied. ‘It’s just ... Well, I expect you’re right, but ...’ She shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

‘Too deep for now?’ Anna suggested.

Alex’s eyes went briefly to hers. ‘Maybe,’ she admitted.

Anna took another sip of her coffee. Then injecting some brightness into a change of subject, she said, ‘I was thinking that, if you did have some time to spare today, we could keep things nice and relaxed and perhaps just go down to the pub for lunch, have a walk around the village, carry on chatting ...?’

Alex smiled. ‘Sounds good,’ she replied, meaning it. ‘And maybe we should have another go at downloading Skype, after the mess we made of it last night.’

Anna laughed as she pulled a face. ‘We definitely didn’t do well with it, did we, and I ought to be ready for Bob’s call tonight, or I’ll never hear the end of it.’

It was bang on seven that evening when the warbling ringtone coming from Alex’s computer warned them that Bob was on the line.

‘Are you ready?’ Anna asked anxiously, her hand poised over the mouse. She and Alex were side by side at the kitchen table with Alex’s laptop open in front of them.

‘As I’ll ever be,’ Alex replied, feeling uncomfortably like someone who’d received a late invitation to a party where she wasn’t even sure she was going to be welcome.

‘You’ll love each other,’ Anna assured her, as though she’d picked up on Alex’s nerves, and with a quick click she made the connection. ‘Hi darling,’ she said as her husband’s face appeared on the screen. ‘Here we are, and we’re feeling very clever for managing to set this up.’

In spite of the slightly distorted image in front of her, the first thing Alex noticed about Bob Reeves was how handsome he was, in a sixty-something sort of way. His hair was thick and silvery and as casual as the open neck of his navy shirt, and his smile seemed embedded in every line of his face. ‘Hi Bob,’ she said, sounding far more relaxed than she felt, ‘it’s lovely to meet you.’

He was shaking his head in what looked like amazement. ‘I knew from Facebook that you were like your mother,’ he declared, ‘but seeing the two of you together ... It’s kind of strange, but lovely to see ... You look just like she did when I first met her.’

‘Only more gorgeous,’ Anna piped up happily.

He raised an ironic eyebrow. ‘Oh, now I’m not falling into that one,’ he told her. Then to Alex, ‘So how are you, Charlotte? And by the way, it’s really good to meet you too.’

As Anna made to correct him, Alex put a hand on her arm. ‘It’s OK,’ she whispered.

‘What’s going on?’ he asked. ‘Don’t tell me I’ve put my foot in it already. What did I do?’

‘You called me Charlotte,’ Alex told him, ‘but it’s fine, honestly.’

He banged a hand against his head. ‘Sorry about that. I guess it’s just how we’ve always thought of you ...’

‘Of course, and honestly I don’t mind, after all I suppose it’s who I am, really.’

Anna turned to look at her, but said nothing, and nor did Alex, though Alex was sure she felt some sort of current passing between them.

Bob was saying, ‘I guess you girls have had a long chat by now, so sorry if I’m telling you things you already know, Char—Alex, but your mother has wanted this for so many years. We both have, and I’m hoping it won’t be long now before I’ll be seeing you in person. I’d have come this time, but I reckoned meeting you for the first time was something
Anna needed to do on her own. I miss her, though. It’s not the same here without you, my darling.’

‘Oh, like you’ve had time to miss me,’ Anna scoffed playfully. ‘I know you, Bob Reeves, you’ll have been out on that dive boat every morning, or whipping up some new property deal, or driving into town to drill a few teeth.’

Since Anna had already told her that he was a semi-retired dentist and full-time property developer with a typical Kiwi’s passion for boats, wine and rugby, Alex commented, ‘Sounds like you’ve got a very busy life.’

‘I find it’s the best way of staying out of trouble,’ he quipped. ‘But I’ve got to say, what you do for a living outshines us all.’

Before Alex could respond Anna was saying, ‘We shouldn’t really talk about it too much, it’s very confidential ...’

‘It’s OK,’ Alex assured her.

Anna glanced at her, needing to be certain, before she said to Bob, ‘We had the dearest, sweetest little girl here last night. Her name’s Ottilie, as in the jazz singer, Ottilie Patterson. She was so upset when she had to leave that we got upset too, and we’ve been worrying about her ever since. She’s only three and there’s a chance something bad is happening to her at home.’

Bob’s face showed his concern. ‘Do I need to ask what sort of something?’ he asked darkly.

‘We’re not sure yet,’ Alex replied. ‘If we were, and it was what you’re thinking, believe me she wouldn’t be there any more.’

‘Alex is seeing her again tomorrow,’ Anna continued. ‘Dear little mite is clearly very attached to her. I expect you get that a lot in your job, don’t you?’ she said to Alex.

‘From time to time,’ Alex admitted. ‘But now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear all about you,’ she said to Bob. ‘I know you and Anna have been married for twenty years ...’

‘We’ve just had an anniversary,’ he came in chirpily, ‘but it was a kind of low-key affair, because we’re saving the big stuff for my sixtieth next month. Do you think there’s a chance you might make it over for the party?’

Thrown by the suddenness of it, Alex found herself uttering the first words that came to mind. ‘I’d love to,’ she was saying, ‘but I’m afraid I know already that I won’t be able to take the time off at such short notice.’
Or be able to afford it
, she didn’t add. ‘It’s lovely of you to invite me, though,’ she said quickly.

‘Of course you’re invited,’ he cried in surprise. ‘I know you might not be used to the idea yet, but you’re family, and we’re all dying to meet you. In fact the whole clan wanted to be in on this call today, just to say hi and welcome and to let you know how thrilled we all are for Anna, but I thought it might be a bit overwhelming this first time out with us all coming at you at once. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fight them off for the next one, though.’

Because she had to, Alex said, ‘I’d love to see them and say hello.’ And actually she would, she realised, especially with her mother sitting here, rather than there.

‘I went online today to try and find the video you made,’ Anna told him, ‘but it doesn’t seem to be there.’

‘Ah, that’s because I took it down,’ he replied. ‘I’ve shot some new stuff I want to edit in, and I’ve dug out some old footage too, so it should be up again by this time tomorrow.’

‘And there was me thinking you’d already captured every last inch of where we live, how we live and who we all are,’ Anna teased. ‘If you shoot any more she won’t need to come, she’ll be able to go online for the whole Kiwi experience.’

‘Oh, now I know I’m good,’ he responded drily, ‘but I don’t think I’m that good, and showing her a lobster I just caught for breakfast isn’t going to be the same as tasting it fresh off the barbie, is it? And watching me squeeze a fresh lime from one of our trees isn’t going to be anywhere near as much fun as picking it and doing it herself.’