No One's Hero (Chadwell Hearts) (20 page)

There’s a pause.

“No. Locals aren’t on scene yet, but other students saw, so I imagine they will go to lockdown soon.”

Another pause.

“No, she’s in no shape to give a statement. We didn’t enter the room, just the doorway. But others saw us. It will get out that we fled if we don’t stick around, but I think we should get her out of here. We don’t know for sure this was about her, but we both know it might have been.”

A pause again.

“Understood. I’m taking her to the apartment. We’ll hole up while you run interference, and if anyone needs to interview her, call me and we’ll have you set it up.”

His body shifts beside me and I think he’s shoving his phone in his pocket, and I hear the jingle of his keys as he pulls them out. Then I’m scooped up again and he’s running, keeping me pressed tight against his chest. We stop abruptly, then I’m being shoved into the passenger seat of the SUV. “Buckle up.”

In another moment he’s in the driver’s seat and we’re pulling out of the parking space. My fingers are clumsy and not responding as I struggle with the buckle. When I finally get it snapped in, I glance over at Kevin.

His hands are tight against the wheel, his knuckles going pale. His face is set in a determined scowl, but even though he’s behaving frantically, I can see a determined calm that’s blanketed over him. He knows how to handle this and he’s obviously a person who performs well in a crisis. I thought I was that type of person too, but right now, I feel like I’m falling apart.

“We’ve got to get out of here before they shut down the exits. Sorry, this isn’t going to be a gentle ride.”

As if anything today has been gentle.

I quickly see what he means, though, when he guns the accelerator and weaves around the traffic that’s spilling into the parking lot. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? They were there for me.”

“There for you? Possibly. Your fault? Not in a million years.”

They are nice words, but how can I believe them? If they came for me, and killed her instead, it’s my fault. I knew it was dangerous, yet I talked Kevin into letting me stay in the dorms. If I’d cooperated and stayed in the apartment off campus, Stephanie wouldn’t be dead. At least I don’t think there’s any chance I’m going to be framed for her death, unlike with Samurai. Suddenly, the situation at the barn doesn’t feel nearly as huge. I guess there’s nothing like a good murder to put your troubles in perspective.

It’s totally inappropriate, but I snort with repressed laughter.

Kevin turns a wary eye in my direction. “Fuck Lexi, don’t get hysterical on me. Not yet, let me get you safe first.”

“No, sorry. I just was thinking how in light of this, the whole suspension thing doesn’t seem like such a big deal, when only moments ago it did.”

Just thinking about it, putting it into words, sends me into a fit of crying again. I’m such a freak, crying this much over someone I couldn’t stand, but the emotion has me in its grasp and refuses to let go. The rest of the drive passes in a blur. I have no idea how long it took us to get to the townhouse; I’m seeing the world and time itself through a tunnel of fog. Everything is hazy and nothing makes sense. The only thing I can do is blindly follow Kevin’s lead.

I think he made more phone calls while he drove, but I’m honestly not sure.

“Do you want me to carry you again?” He asks as he parks in front of a row of red brick townhouses on dark brown foundations. Cream trim around the upper floor bay windows and on top of the little columned porch that waits at the top of each set of stairs gives it a quaint vintage look.

Do I want him to? I should be strong enough to walk on my own, but my shoulders are still trembling, my legs feel like Jell-O, and I know in his arms I will at least feel safe. I must have taken too long trying to formulate an answer. Kevin sweeps around the SUV and undoes my seatbelt, then lifts me into his arms again as if I weigh nothing at all.

I rest my head against his chest, tucking myself in close, though not burying my eyes this time. He shifts me a bit, bracing me between his body and the doorframe long enough to unlock the door, and then I’m held close again and we’re inside. The townhouse is a split level, and when we enter we can either go up to an open-concept dining room, kitchen, and family room or down half a set of a stairs to a dark hallway that leads who knows where. Or we can go around the banister to another staircase that leads up. There’s also a hallway to our right off of the middle level that looks like it might have a bathroom and a coat closet.

Kevin heads straight up to short flight of stairs to the living room and puts me on the couch. “Stay. I’m going to make sure all the blinds are down and the windows are all locked and secure.”

The cream couch has large cushions that swallow me whole, letting me sink into what should be cushioned comfort. But there’s no comfort today, not even from a super nice couch. I tuck my knees up to my chest and wait, listening to Kevin open and close doors on all three levels of the townhouse. He comes back a few minutes later and stands in front of me. “All clear,” he announces, as if that’s supposed to make me feel better.

Up until now, Kevin has been the picture of composure. He’s in his element, and it’s like the moment he saw Stephanie lying there dead, all his training kicked in and he became a detached, highly trained military machine. It’s only now, as I watch him watching me, that I see the storm behind his eyes. Knowing he’s scared too is the force that breaks the dam, and I dissolve into a crying mess, giving myself over to the tide of grief that’s tearing me apart bit by bit.

The cushion beside me dips. As soon as Kevin’s seated, I fly into his arms. My fingers wind into the folds of his black t-shirt, clutching for dear life. Intense sobs shudder their way through my body. My chest burns with sorrow as my breaths come in short gasps. Stephanie is not just dead, she was brutally killed. And it could have been me. Did she die while I sobbed on the phone with Tess in the parking lot?

This day has taken the crown for most fucked-up day of all the fucked-up days in the world, and it’s barely past noon. I sob again.

“Shhh. Shhh.” Kevin strokes my hair, then his thumbs brush my cheeks. I should tell him not to bother. Nothing can wipe these tears away. I might be crying for the rest of my life, however short it is. If they came to my dorm room to kill me, they’ll come for me here, too. It’s only a matter of time.

—-♥—-

L
exi

The first thing I’m aware of when I wake up is Kevin’s damp t-shirt beneath my chest. Which reminds me why I was crying, why he was holding me, and leaves me in disbelief that I actually managed to fall asleep. I rub my eyes, trying to clear them of the leftover gunk from crying so much. “I think I may have ruined your shirt,” I mumble.

“A little water never hurt anything,”

“What about water and snot?” Even after sleeping, I’m too exhausted to be embarrassed. “What time is it?”

“Almost five. You were out for about three hours. Are you hungry?”

I take mental inventory of my stomach, then shake my head. I’m not hungry at all, I’m not sure I’ll ever feel like eating again. Eating is life, and today I think part of me died. Fitting, I suppose, considering I can’t shake the feeling that it was supposed to be me, not Stephanie. My days, or maybe even hours, are likely numbered.

And it’s not that I don’t trust Kevin to protect me. I trust him implicitly, but he’s only human. I lift my head from his chest, staring at his face, committing it to memory. His eyes are dark with concern, a deep stormy gray of an impending thunderstorm rather than the brilliant blue of the sky. He’s got a bit of a five o’clock shadow decorating his dimpled chin and trailing along his softly angled jaw. He radiates sexiness without even trying, and although I’ve become pretty good at ignoring it, I don’t want to anymore. If I’m going to die soon, I don’t want to go with regrets. And not being with Kevin...that would be a huge, gigantic regret. I want him always, but right now I want him more than ever.

His eyes narrow in warning. My face must have given me away.

“Lexi,” he growls. “Don’t. Not like this.”

I press my lips to his, ignoring his protest, instead noting the way his hips lift slightly, positioning himself closer to me. I pull back only long enough to whisper one word. “Please.”

A low groan emanates from his chest. When my lips find his again, rather than being as unyielding as they were a moment ago, they part softly, and his tongue strokes mine, encouraging me by flicking softly against my lips, tasting. Kevin tastes of salt and secrets. There’s danger in his kiss, and I want more. The salt, I’m sure that’s from my tears, but the secrets... I think it’s that his kiss tells me the truth. He wants me just as much as I want him, and we’re both teetering on the edge, ready to give in.

The kiss deepens, going far beyond the kisses we’ve shared before. This one, it’s an affirmation of life, reminding us both that we’re here, we’re alive. He catches my lower lip between his teeth, biting, and it’s my turn to moan as pleasure starts tingling between my shoulder blades, spreading down my spine until it pools between my legs. I gasp as he softly licks where he just bit and I grow moist with longing.

Kevin’s taken control of our kiss and I’m not sure I want that. I shift until I’m straddling his lap, then mimic Kevin, catching his lip between my front teeth and nibbling. I’m instantly rewarded with proof of his desire as he presses his hips upward, fitting his hardness right against my increasing wetness.

Holy crap, feeling just how hard he is is enough to send my senses spiraling.

I grab at the hem of his shirt, lifting and tugging, trying to get it off. I want to feel his bare skin and I want it now.

Kevin’s hands cradle my face, one on each side, freezing me in place. His eyes bore intently into mine and neither of us blinks. I pant, waiting on the precipice, but seeing the indecision in his eyes. He blinks first, breaking the stare while letting out a sharp breath. “Oh sweet girl, what am I going to do with you?”

“I’m hoping you’re about to fuck me six ways from Sunday.” As I say it, I realize just how true it is. Kissing Kevin is intoxicating, and I can only imagine that having him inside me will be so much more. I need this, after today, my God, I need it. And if I’m right, and Nick is coming for me soon, I want to know that he and I had tonight. I’ve wanted Kevin from the moment I’ve met him, but now it’s so much more. At first I just sort of wanted to use him to check off sex-with-hot-guy from my college bucket list. Now? Now I just want
him
, for as long as he’s content to be here.

My words seem to have the opposite effect on him and his hands drop to my waist. He starts to lift me off of him and I feel the tears well again. “Please,” I whisper. “I need this. I need to feel something beautiful and raw. Remind me that we’re alive, that somehow, we’re going to be okay. I
need
this.”

There’s a war playing out across his face, and I have no idea which side is winning. He winces, and I think he silently curses. “I know. I know. But dammit Lexi, your first time, it shouldn’t be like this. It should be with someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. It should be epic, and not a decision made in desperation.”

“Says the boy who went riding with me, and let me go to the club, and gave me a mindblowing first kiss. Says the boy who knows my heart. Are you honestly telling me you don’t care about me?”

I’m completely unprepared for the force with which he kisses me. His lips devour mine and the only option I have is to surrender to it. His tongue maps every crevice of my mouth, exploring and claiming. “I can’t fail again, Lexi. I’m so fucking scared, you have no idea. Because you’re right. Your happiness...it drives me, because yes, despite how hard I’ve tried not to, I do. But I cannot fail again, and if I have to choose, I will choose to keep you safe.”

“But Kevin, you don’t have to keep me safe from
you.
”

Maybe my words are what he needed to hear. His hands cradle my ass as he stands straight up, and I lock my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. We never stop kissing as he carries me down the hall. Not when he accidentally bumps into a picture frame, knocking it from the wall. Not when he kicks the door to a dark room open, then flips on the light. And not when he eases me onto a bed covered in crushed satin. My hands find the hem of his shirt again and we break the kiss only long enough for me to rip it over his head.

I scoot backward until my head finds a pillow, my legs still wrapped around Kevin’s waist, demanding that he come with me. His eyes are sad when he pulls back to look down at me. “Your first time shouldn’t be like this. I’m never going to be enough for you.”

I can tell I’m losing him, he’s withdrawing and I’m not having it. My hands slide along his jaw, delighting in the roughness. “I don’t need you to be enough for me. I just need to be enough for you. Don’t you see that’s the best gift you could give me? I know if you have sex with me it’s because you want
me
, you’re not just using me for a quick screw. Can you honestly guarantee that anyone else will give a damn about the difference? Love me, Kevin. For once in my life, let me be enough.” My voice cracks with emotion.

“Sweet girl, you’re so much more than enough. You’re everything.”

Kevin reaches back and untangles my legs from around him, and at first I’m afraid he’s pulling away. I’m about to protest when he lifts his leg, scooting mine between his, then repeats with my other leg. He leans back, nearly sitting on his heels as he reaches up his pant leg by his angle and unstraps a holster with a small black gun, which he then stretches over to put on the nearby nightstand. Next he pulls off his boots, then mine. With my legs pinned between his, he leans down and lifts my shirt by gliding his hands up my sides so softly that goosebumps erupt on my flesh.

I raise my shoulders from the bed, letting him pull my shirt over my head before lying back down, feeling intimately exposed as Kevin stares down at me, not masking the hunger in his eyes as he takes in my simple white cotton bra. In all the times I daydreamed about what my first time would be like, it was never like this. I was supposed to be in perfect pink lingerie that would make me look sexy and sophisticated. I figured we’d start the night with dancing and wine to loosen up and get in the mood.  But I guess danger and a death have their own way of putting things in perspective. I just never thought death would be an aphrodisiac. But I suppose it makes sense to want to feel something strong, a reminder that we’re alive.