No Regrets (11 page)

Which was something I was going to have to get a handle on real soon.

I set my glass on the table, then took his and did the same. He eyed me as I scooted closer to him, as if he was afraid I was going to attack. Of course, he was right to be concerned. I was going to attack, and I wanted things to go my way for a change.

I leaned closer, waiting for him to make a move to kiss me or stop me from kissing him. The conflict in his eyes was obvious. He thought it was a bad idea. Unfortunately for him, I thought it was pretty much the best idea I'd had in a very long line of great ideas.

“Let me thank you for dinner,” I said, moving until our faces were less than an inch apart.

We were so close I could see little specks of brown in his eyes. My nose grazed his and he sucked in a deep breath. His very intense gaze moved down to my mouth. Then his lips brushed against mine and he closed his eyes. I followed his lead, squeezing my eyes shut as our mouths moved together. Quickly. So fast it took my breath away. Liam thrust his tongue into my mouth and slid his hand up my back, gripping my neck. Not just holding me there, but pulling me closer to him. Like he might never be able to get enough.

Heat moved through my body like a tidal wave, and I held onto Liam for dear life. I twisted my hands in his shirt, then pulled it up so I could touch his bare skin, moving my hands over his rock hard abs and firm chest. Savoring the feel of his bare skin against mine.

Liam's teeth closed on my bottom lip, and the pain was just sharp enough to send a shiver through my body. I raked my nails up his chest to his shoulders, then pulled him closer as he kissed me faster. Deeper. More desperate than ever before.

Somehow, I ended up on my back with Liam hovering over me. He trailed kisses down my neck, his hand resting on my stomach. The warmth of his touch spread through me, starting in my belly and spreading out until every inch of my flesh was on fire. His mouth moved back to mine and he came to rest next to me on the couch. The kisses were slower, though, sweeter than before. The passion and heat were still there, but underneath it I could feel something else that hadn't been there the other times we'd kissed. Something intimate.

And it scared the shit out of me.

I grabbed Liam's hand, still resting on my stomach, and moved it up to my breast. He groaned against my lips as his hand cupped me, caressed me. Teased me. Our kisses became frantic once again and a thrill of triumph shot through me.

We stayed that way for so long I lost track of time, tangled in each other's arms, making out on the couch like two fifteen-year-old kids. Liam never moved to take off my clothes and never took it any further, and every time I tried to maneuver myself so I could take control he stopped me. He'd put himself in the perfect position to be in charge, which was both hot and infuriating at the same time.

When he finally pulled away, my lips were once again swollen from our kisses. Even worse was the throbbing ache of desire inside me, so intense my limbs felt like jelly. I didn't have a clue how Liam could stand it. Every pint of blood in his body must have been focused on one area.

“That's it?” I said, hoping my breathlessness hid my disappointment.

Liam chuckled and helped me sit up. “New leaf.”

Damn his new leaf. I hadn't been left so unsatisfied since I was a freshman in high school.

I took a deep breath and pretended not to notice when he adjusted himself. We needed to talk about what was going on, because this situation was getting more confusing by the second.

Hesitantly, I said, “Can I ask you something?”

Liam nodded slowly as if he wasn't sure he really wanted me to.

“What do you see happening here? I didn't think you were a relationship kind of guy, but now you've decided to turn over a new leaf and you bought me roses and made me dinner. I'll be honest, I'm really confused. Are we dating?”

He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled slowly. Then he looked at me and grinned. “Yes?”

That didn't clear things up at all.

“You don't sound very sure,” I said.

“I've never dated anyone before, Cami.” He shrugged sheepishly.

Damn. It was impossible not to think he was adorable when he looked at me like that.

“Okay. So, you want to date me but you don't want to sleep with me?”

“Ryan—”

“Oh my gosh! If you tell me Ryan's your
mate
one more time I'm going to scream! Stop making decisions based on what Ryan thinks.”

“But he is, and a good one. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to stop when we're together? But I do because I don't want to screw a friend over. What kind of shit would that make me?”

His words were like a bucket of ice water being dumped on my head. Liam didn't want to screw Ryan over just like I didn't want to screw Julie over. I owed her more than that.

“You're right,” I said. “You should be loyal to your friends.”

And I needed to be too. I had to start taking my promise to her more seriously. I needed to go out and have fun, and spend less time focusing on Liam.

After what had happened with Liam on Friday night, I was more than ready to hit the town with Annie on Saturday. Thankfully, she allowed me to put her in a black strapless dress and blue heels. She looked totally hot. Not that I didn't. My own black dress wasn't strapless, but it was low-cut and tight. It hugged every one of my curves perfectly. Even with my red heels I felt like a dwarf next to Annie, but it didn't matter to me. I enjoyed being short.

Market Street was too far away to walk in our heels, especially when Annie was so inexperienced, so we grabbed a cab outside the dorm. The bar was already crowded when we got there, but I managed to snag us a table in clear view of the bar. I ordered drinks and hoped once Annie got some alcohol in her she'd be able to sit still. She was so nervous she was shaking the whole table. I needed her to relax, because I had big plans for the night.

I did my best to keep talking so I could calm her down, but I was too preoccupied with checking out the guys in the place to really know what I was saying. That's one of the good things about being a talker. You don't need to be totally present to keep the conversation going. It's like an extra sense you're just born with.

About thirty minutes after we arrived, I spotted the perfect pair of guys for us. One was tall with blond hair and a cute smile. Kind of reminded me of a younger Owen Wilson, only without the crooked nose. His friend had darker hair and was much shorter, meaning he'd be mine. They were military guys, no question about it, which was kind of hot. I'd never dated a guy in the military, and since I was all about doing new things, it seemed ideal.

I caught the shorter guy's eye and stopped talking long enough to flash him a brilliant smile, the kind you'd see on the cover of a magazine. He smiled back and nudged his friend, who turned our way. The second the blond guy laid eyes on Annie, I knew they'd be coming over to join us. His face lit up like he'd found the golden ticket and was about to get a tour of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Within a matter of minutes, they were each holding two drinks and heading our way. Perfect.

I turned to Annie and was relieved she no longer looked like she was on the verge of hurling. “How are you feeling?” I had to yell over the noise.

“Good,” she said, but she shrugged like she wasn't sure.

I smiled and pulled the deep V of my dress down lower so I could show off more cleavage. Not so much that I looked like a slut, but enough that the military guy headed my way would be sure to stick around.

“Awesome, because I've been eyeing a couple guys at the bar and they're on their way over.”

Annie's eyes got huge and she sat up straight. When she turned to check out the guys, her expression reminded me of someone who was about to face one of their worst fears. She picked up her glass and downed the rest of her drink. Then she started pulling on her hair and dress, squirming in her seat like she didn't know what to do with herself. I wanted to sigh, but the guys were too close.

“Relax,” I hissed. “Just smile and act like everything he says is brilliant.”

They stopped next to our table and I was happy to find that my guy was even better-looking up close, ruggedly handsome with a five o'clock shadow and dark eyes.

“Hi there,” I said, smiling up at him.

“We thought you might be interested in company,” Mr. Ruggedly Handsome said. “We come bearing drinks.”

“Sounds good.” I lightly patted the chair next to me while keeping the smile plastered on my face.

“I'm Mike and this is Jon,” he said as he took the seat.

He held out the drink and our hands brushed as I took it. A flutter of excitement shot through me when he winked. I told myself this was about helping Annie. She had items to cross off her list and it was my duty as a good roommate to do whatever it took to make that happen. But when Mike scooted so close that his knee touched mine, I knew it was a lie. This was about me getting out there. Being wild.

“Are you from around here?” Mike asked.

“Born and raised.” I leaned closer, trying to make it seem as if I was having a tough time hearing him. In reality, I just wanted to make sure he had a good shot of my cleavage. “What about you?”

Mike's eyes moved down and I giggled. Men were so easy to manipulate sometimes.

Except Liam, apparently.

“Um . . .” He took a drink and looked up, smiling. “Arizona. I've been here for almost a year. Was in Texas before that.”

“So what do you do?”

“Pilot.”

“Hot.” I put my hand on his arm and moved even closer. I'd learned to act amazed no matter what a guy said he did or wanted to do, but being a pilot actually did sound really cool. “What kind of plane do you fly?”

“C-17,” he said. “You may remember it from the second
Transformers
movie. They airdropped Optimus Prime out of a C-17.”

One thing people didn't realize about me: I was a huge geek on the inside. I loved
Transformers
. “Wow. You're practically famous.”

He chuckled. “Not exactly, but if you begged me to autograph your boobs, I wouldn't say no.”

“I'm not in the habit of begging for anything.” I winked and took a drink of my beer.

Mike's eyebrows shot up and I giggled.

Annie and her guy seemed to be getting along as well as Mike and I were. She didn't look as uncomfortable as she usually did, and they were busy chatting about the military and football and God only knew what else. She still didn't have a clue how to flirt, but at least she wasn't cowering under the table. Baby steps.

Sitting still was making me antsy, so a little before eleven I suggested we go to a club, which everyone thought was an excellent idea. The sidewalks were super crowded when we headed out, as usual. Charleston is a gorgeous historic city, which brings vacationing families in all summer long, but it also has an amazing nightlife. Classy restaurants in the evening give way to rowdy bars and clubs full of young people out looking for a good time. It has all the benefits of a big city without the expense or overcrowding. Plus, it is a hell of a lot more beautiful than most of the bigger, newer cities up north.

The guys paid our cover when we got to the club, then headed straight for the bar. I gave Annie a wink and she giggled. It was shaping up to be a good night for her. She's already gotten picked up—number fifteen on her list—and was well on her way to getting Jon's digits—number sixteen. My own list was pretty impromptu, but one-night stand was on it and Mike was pretty much a sure thing at that point.

The beat from the music and the rhythm of the bodies crowded onto the dance floor swirled together, making the air throb. Strobe lights pulsed from the corners, cutting through the darkness to illuminate the party-goers, and the combined smell of perfume, alcohol, and sweat was more than enough to get my heart pounding. I was ready to party.

I downed the Firefly Mike bought me, then pulled him toward the dance floor. My body was already moving to the beat of the music as I squeezed my way through the throng of sweaty dancers. Mike was right behind me, and the heat from his body made me feel like I was standing on the surface of the sun. I wasn't sure if it was him or the atmosphere or the alcohol.

When we found a good spot in the crowd, I turned around to face Mike. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me against him so tight I probably could have counted the change in his pocket. I draped my arms around his shoulders and ran my fingers through his sweaty hair as the room around me pulsed. My head felt lighter than a feather and I loved the feeling.

After a few minutes of grinding against each other, Mike turned me around so my back was to him. Annie and Jon were next to us on the dance floor, just as lost in the music as we were. She looked like a totally different person. Free and uninhibited. Dancing like it was second nature. It made a throb of jealousy penetrate my fuzzy brain. I hadn't felt free since the day of Julie's accident, but I wanted to. I wanted to be able to make my own choices without feeling the pull of someone else's expectations on me. I wanted to shed the guilt that seemed to always hang over me like a storm cloud.

Then Jon kissed Annie and the jealousy morphed into lust. I pushed my body closer to Mike, and his hands moved up my sides. It felt like they were coated in lava. Everywhere he touched burned. His hot breath skimmed my neck as he nudged my hair aside, and I leaned my head back to allow him better access.

Annie caught my eye and pointed toward the bar, but I waved her away. I didn't want a drink. I was intoxicated enough by Mike's presence, and I was pretty sure if I added alcohol to the mix, we'd both burst into flames. The air around us was that flammable.

I spun around to face Mike and my mouth found his. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me so close it felt like we were fused together. He forced my mouth open with his tongue as I ran my fingers through his damp hair. When he pulled away, he grinned down at me. He wore that self-satisfied smile guys get right before they're about to get laid.

Then his gaze moved past me to the front of the club, and the smile melted away. His eyes narrowed until they were nothing more than angry slits. “Son of a bitch!”

He pulled away and headed through the crowd, leaving me standing there. It only took two seconds for me to dart after him. I had no idea what he was doing, though. I was too short to see over the crowd and there were way too many people between me and wherever he was headed. But he was pissed. His chest was all puffed out like a rooster and his hands were clenched into fists, like he was ready for a fight.

When we broke through the crowd I caught sight of Annie and Jon. Liam, Ryan, and Chris stood in front of them, and Chris looked like he was ready to wrestle Jon to the ground.

My stomach dropped when I looked at Liam, who was in the middle of trying to talk Chris down. He hadn't noticed me standing there, so I ducked behind Mike like I was playing a game of hide-and-seek. I didn't have a clue why. My heart pounded faster than the beat of the music and I broke out into a sweat that had nothing to do with the heat of the club. Damn. What the hell was wrong with me?

After a couple tense seconds, I heard Liam say, “Walk away, mate.” His voice was barely audible over the crowd.

He pulled Chris toward the door, and as soon as they were out of sight I was able to focus on the situation a little better. Everyone looked like they were on the verge of exploding. Jon's arm was around Annie's waist and her face was bright red. I wasn't sure if she was going to bitch-slap someone or burst into tears.

Ryan stood in front of her without moving. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Having a good time. Where do you guys get off screwing it up?” I said, even though he was looking at Annie.

Ryan looked my way and blinked like he hadn't noticed me standing there. When he moved closer, the expression on his face reminded me of my dad. How the hell could they look so similar when they weren't even biologically related?

“I helped you get those IDs under the understanding I would be with you when you used them, Cami.”

“Who the hell is this guy?” Mike asked.

Ryan straightened up and took one step closer to Mike. “Her brother.”

Dammit! Sometimes I hated this whole brother/cousin bullshit game.

“My cousin,” I snapped.

Ryan shook his head and stepped back. The icy glare I shot him could have wilted a head of lettuce, but of course it didn't faze Ryan. He was used to it.

“Let's get out of here,” I said, grabbing Mike's hand and pulling him toward the exit.

My face was so hot I felt on the verge of exploding. It occurred to me I might be abandoning Annie, but I was too pissed to stop. She was with Ryan and Jon, and Chris and Liam were around somewhere too. She'd be well taken care of.

I inhaled deeply when we stepped out onto the street. The air was still sticky and humid, but there was a slight breeze from the bay. It was a hell of a lot cooler than it had been in the club. The sidewalks were clogged with people—mostly drunk. Even though I had no idea where I wanted to go, I knew I needed to get out of there.

Mike draped his arm around my shoulders. “That kill the mood for you?”

He winked, and I could tell it hadn't fazed him in the least. Hell, the conflict had probably fed some kind of primal part of his ego, dating back to caveman days. If I wasn't careful, he might just club me over the head and drag me back to his place.

It had killed the mood for me, however. The lust inside me had been replaced by something I couldn't define. I felt torn between going back inside to get Annie so we could go home and throwing myself at Mike even though I wasn't turned on anymore. The confusion was an all too familiar feeling. It was how I always felt since Julie's accident. Lost and muddled. Alone.

I wanted to drown out all the emotions swirling through me, so I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Mike, curling my fingers in his hair. His hands gripped my shoulders and pulled me against him.