No Strings Attached (The Pink Bean Series Book 1) (22 page)

“Life can be funny that way,” Robin said and squeezed Micky’s hand a little tighter.

Whatever happened to no strings attached?

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

The next Saturday afternoon, Micky invited her mother and Amber over for tea. No big meals would be served, but they would need something to do with themselves. Pastries would do the trick. Amber would be there for moral support. Both the kids and her mother held Amber in such high regard—and she was a lesbian.

“This is very unusual, dear,” her mother said when she arrived. “Do you and Amber have a special announcement to make?” Then she caught sight of her grandchildren, both hanging on the sofa with their headphones on. “Best get those off before Amber arrives.”

Micky’s mother occupied herself with asking how the kids were doing in school while Micky put on the kettle. This was it. Between then and an hour, it would all be out in the open. The knot in her stomach reminded her of how she felt when she and Darren had told the kids about the divorce, though, objectively, this was such happier news she was about to deliver.

The bell rang, and before Micky had a chance to say anything, Olivia shot up and yelled she would get it. Her children effectively already admired a lesbian woman. What could they possibly have against their mother being one?

If only it were that easy.

As Amber came in and said her hellos, exchanging a meaningful glance with her, Micky wondered—again—if she’d made the right decision of telling her mother and her children at the same time. After telling Darren, and the nice things Robin had said to her throughout the week that followed, it had been a quick and easy decision to make. Kill two birds with one stone
while
still riding that high of her first unexpectedly successful and—admittedly—heartwarming coming out.

Micky felt as though, if she didn’t tell the most important people in her life as soon as possible, her luck would run out. Having them all together in a room, with Amber there to reply to any questions Micky wasn’t knowledgeable enough or too self-conscious to answer, would make it easier for them to process together. But now, as everyone found their preferred spot on the sofa, she doubted her decision. Perhaps she should have confided in her mother separately. Then, she stopped herself. Micky should have and could have done a lot of things differently in her life. This was where it had gotten her, and really, the most important was that they all knew. That she didn’t have to walk around feeling guilty all the time for keeping this vital piece of information to herself.

She poured the grown-ups some tea. Chris sipped from a Diet Coke, much to his sister’s dismay, who got that particular sentiment about her brother drinking diet soda from Amber.

“This all seems very official. I’m starting to worry,” her mother said.

“There’s no need to worry. Nobody is sick or dying.” Micky fidgeted with a packet of sugar. “I, er, just need to tell you something.”

They all stared at her with expectation in their eyes. For comfort, Micky looked at Amber, who nodded at her almost imperceptibly.

She addressed her children. “You know how your dad introduced you to Lisa a few weeks ago? Well, I’ve met someone too.”

Just the night before, Micky had sort of rehearsed this moment with Amber, who had advised her to not practice too much but simply speak from the heart and, perhaps, break the news about Robin slowly. All night and all morning, Micky had practiced a, what she thought, well-balanced but to-the-point speech in her head, only to forget all about it when she needed the words to roll off her tongue now.

Nobody spoke. They were all still watching her as though she was playing a part in the most exciting thriller they’d seen in years.

Micky found Amber’s gaze, but no, she had to look her children in the eye when she told them. Because what did it say about her if she couldn’t even do that? That she was ashamed of who she really was?

“Her name is Robin. I met her at The Pink Bean. She works at a bank, just like your dad.”

Christopher’s eyes grew wide while Olivia screwed hers shut for an instant.

“But…” Chris started but didn’t continue.

“Goodness me,” her mother said.

“I know this is a lot to take in and that for you”—Micky made a swooping gesture with her hand—“it must come totally out of the blue, but, er, I’ve been having these feelings for a while and it’s no longer right to keep that from you.”

“You’re dating a woman?” Chris was the first of her children to find his voice again. “For how long?”

“Is that why you and dad got a divorce?” Olivia asked.

“It’s not you, is it?” Gina asked Amber, obviously not having properly absorbed the mention of Robin’s name.

Amber just shook her head solemnly.

“You must have many questions, and I will do my best to answer them all, but I need you to know that this is not something I’ve been hiding from all of you for a long time. It’s new to me as well. Falling in love with another woman has been—” Micky had to stop herself there. Because this wasn’t about Robin and how hard Micky had fallen for her, this was about her and her family. “Robin and I have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, so not very long. You can meet her if you want, but you don’t have to. And, Liv, honey, your question is very difficult because I can’t really give a straight answer to that. Your dad and I got divorced because our marriage wasn’t working anymore, and I’d be lying if I said that all of this had nothing to do with it whatsoever, but marriages end for a whole bunch of reasons and this was just one of many.”

“I would certainly like to meet this… Robin,” Gina said, then turned to Amber again. “Did you have anything to do with this?”

“Amber has nothing to do with it. It’s not because she’s a lesbian that I suddenly became one.” If her children hadn’t been present, Micky might have tried explaining the spectrum to her mother, but she deemed it inappropriate—not so much for children’s ears, but because it involved their mother.

Liv and Chris sat there, leaning back in the sofa, with a stupefied look on their faces. Poor things. They’d never seen it coming.

“Is she your first, then?” Gina asked, making Micky truly wish she’d told her mother on a separate occasion. She’d overlooked the fact that she would have questions of a different nature, and she’d also believed, wrongly it appeared now, that her children would find comfort in their grandmother’s presence, in not having to face the news alone.

“Yes, Mom, she is.” Micky couldn’t keep a hint of annoyance from creeping into her tone.

“I don’t understand,” Olivia said. “You were married to dad for so long. You’re not like auntie Amber, who’s been gay forever. How can it just change like that?”

“How, I don’t know, honey, but well, people can change over time and fall in love with totally different people in the course of their lives, even people of a different sex.”

“I hope you’re not rushing into anything just because Darren has a girlfriend now,” Gina said. Of all three of them, she seemed to be taking it the hardest. Or perhaps she was just better at translating her shock—and other emotions—into words.

“It has nothing to do with Darren.”
And I met Robin
before
he even told me about Lisa
, Micky added, in a very petulant voice, in her head.

“I would like to meet her as well.” Christopher’s voice was confident. “So what if it’s with another woman? I just want you to be happy, Mom.”

Micky felt a tear pearl in the corner of her eye at the words from her beautiful boy. His reaction she had been afraid of the least, perhaps because he was the eldest of her children and he understood the most. And he’d always been a bit of a mommy’s boy. His comment earned him an eye roll from his sister, though.

“Thank you, Chris. That means a lot.” Micky wanted to get up and give him a long hug.

“Whereas I will need some time to process this information about my only child,” Gina said. She’d barely touched her tea. Now, she rose and started looking around for her purse.

“Liv, Chris, why don’t I take you guys out for some fro-yo so your mom and granny can talk,” Amber said. She rose and made for the door and, in between, caught Micky’s gaze and mouthed
I’ve got this.

✶ ✶ ✶

“I’m your mother, Michaela,” Gina said, “and I didn’t have the faintest idea.” After Amber had ushered the kids out of the house, her mother had sat back down. “You used to always tell me what was going on with you.”

“I didn’t tell you sooner because I was still figuring it out myself.” Perhaps this was the hardest part for Micky. She hadn’t just one day woken up and realized she only wanted to be with women for the rest of her life. It had been a slow, gradual process of small lightbulbs going off, often with years in between them, and finally illuminating a path for Micky through the darkness in which the desires of her subconscious mind had been cast.

“But you and Darren were married for eighteen years. I think that’s what baffles me the most. You were always happy, Micky. Up until a few years ago, when you lost some of your luster. I never gave you a hard time about the divorce because it’s not my place and I’d like to think you have a decent head on your shoulders and you knew what you were doing, but this… this I can’t understand.”

“The information is still so new. You’re still absorbing the shock. At least I’ve had time to get used to it—it took me years, in fact, to get to this point. I don’t expect you to throw your arms around me and tell me you understand. I’m as much a realist as you.”

Gina nodded. “Just for the record, I love Amber, and I have no moral or other objections to her lifestyle. You know that. I’m not some homophobic bigot, I just… as your mother, I can’t help but question this. Are you sure, Micky? Isn’t this just some midlife thing? How old is this woman, anyway?”

“Not that much younger than I am.” How could Micky possibly explain that being with Robin felt so right, so satisfying, so like coming home after a lifetime of traveling nowhere, that she felt it in every cell of her body? “And no, I can assure you it’s not a midlife crisis, even though I have the age for it.”

“What did Darren say?” Gina kept fidgeting, her glance skittering around the room. This was a hard conversation for her to have as well, Micky imagined. She could only hope the hard line of questioning would soon make way for softer words of understanding.

“He was happy for me.” Micky tried to hold her mother’s gaze but failed.

“I’m not trying to give you a hard time here. I’m just trying to make sense of this. You’re my daughter and I love you more than words could ever say, and of course I want you to be happy, I just…” Gina fell silent. At seventy-three, she was still a striking woman, but suddenly, startlingly, she looked her age. As though Micky’s news had accelerated some processes inside of her that had been magically slowed before.

“It’s okay, Mom. You need time to digest.”

“I would like to meet her. It must be serious if you’re telling the kids about her.”

Define serious
, Micky wanted to say. Of course, she was very serious about Robin, but that didn’t change the fact that it was still early days for them. “She’s pretty amazing,” Micky said, failing to keep her voice from sounding schmaltzy.

“Set it up then. I’ll be there with bells on
and
on my best behavior. I’m a Ferro, after all, you know I can turn it on for anyone.”

Micky knew it was meant as a joke—an inside joke they’d had between them forever—but still, it came out wrong. She was, however, in no position to demand an apology from her mother. Micky was also pretty certain that Robin would have no problem charming Gina Ferro.

“I watch
Wentworth
too, you know,” Gina said. “They’re all lesbians in that prison.”

Micky broke out in a chuckle. “Don’t worry, Mom. They won’t throw me in prison for falling in love with a woman.”

✶ ✶ ✶

“I think they just can’t imagine it,” Micky said. It was the day after she’d told her children and her mother, and she lay with her head in Robin’s lap, looking up at her. “Or they have all sorts of images running through their head of things that they should never imagine their mother doing.”

“You’ve done your part.” Robin was stroking her hair. “You’ve told them. They know you’re there for them if they have questions. That is really all you can do. It’s up to them now.”

“I keep thinking about how easy they were about Darren and Lisa. It’s so unfair. Why should it even still matter in this day and age? Aren’t we all supposed to be so much more evolved now?”

“Says the woman who took ages to admit to herself she had feelings for other women.”

“All I was waiting for was for the right woman to turn up in my life.”

“And there I was, ordering a wet cappuccino in The Pink Bean. Imagine if you hadn’t taken that job. We might have never met.”

“I’d be going out with Martha.”

“Much to Amber’s dismay,” Robin said.

“Christ, imagine the drama. Me dating Martha and Amber having the hots for her. She’s already so reluctant to do anything about it now, because she’s Amber and these things always have to be a huge deal, and thoroughly talked through and whatnot.”

“Maybe Martha would have dumped you for Amber.” Robin smirked down at her.

“Are you saying I can’t keep a woman? You? Who brushed me off only to come rushing back to me because I’m so irresistible.” Micky found Robin’s hands and braided her fingers through hers.

“You are, you know. Irresistible. Maybe it’s because you’re Italian. I’ve always had a thing for the darker-haired, more exotic chicks.”

“Oh yeah?” Micky couldn’t stop gazing into Robin’s bright blue eyes. “How many chicks are we talking about here, now that we’re on the subject?”

Robin laughed heartily, making Micky’s head shudder in her lap. “More than you’ve had, that’s for sure.”

“Seriously.” Micky brought their joined hands to her belly and kept them there.

“You really want to know how many women I’ve been with? Because I would have to sit down and count. I’ve been at this lesbian thing for a while.”

“Next you’ll tell me you’ll need a calculator.”