No Strings Attached (The Pink Bean Series Book 1) (23 page)

“I just might.” Robin keeled forward and kissed Micky on the forehead. “But hey, those spectacular orgasms you’ve been having are only the result of my vast experience.”

“Oh, please, Robin. Your orgasms don’t seem any less spectacular than mine, and I’m a beginner. Your argument doesn’t hold up. You’ve been slutting it up for years, you might as well admit it.”

“And you best be careful what you say.” Robin’s interlaced fingers suddenly grabbed down hard, squashing Micky’s hand in a painful but not unpleasant grip. “Or I’ll have to punish you.”

Micky was still looking up at Robin, whose features had gone a bit more serious, though her eyes still sparkled. “I’d like to see you try.”

Robin scrunched her lips together. “You asked for it.” She let go of Micky’s hand, pulled up Micky’s top, and started tickling her mercilessly, her fingers running over Micky’s skin, making it impossible for her to remain still.

Somehow, Robin ended up on top of her. Micky’s blouse had ridden all the way up and her abs hurt from giggling uncontrollably.

Fuck, I’m happy
, she thought.
I’m so incredibly happy.
She didn’t say anything, just pulled Robin close to her and kissed her for a long time, until darkness started falling outside—autumn really was creeping closer—and she had to hurry home before the kids got back from the movie they were seeing with Amber.

“Shall I go with you?” Robin asked, after Micky had meticulously smoothed down her clothes and finger-combed her hair back into shape.

Micky didn’t know if Robin was joking. “Not just yet,” she said. “Maybe in two weeks, after they’ve had a week at their dad’s and more time to come to terms with it.”

Robin got up from the sofa and walked over to Micky. “If they’re anything like their mother, they’ll be head-over-heels with me in no time.” She kissed Micky on the cheek so sweetly, that Micky didn’t want to leave anymore.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Micky had made it clear to Christopher and Olivia that she was there for them if they had any questions, but after the weekend, they had quickly reverted to their habit of spending most of their home time in their bedrooms. When Olivia wasn’t around, Chris continued to assure her that he had no issues with what Micky had told him, while Olivia appeared to still be stuck in a let’s-pretend-that-conversation-never-happened phase.

Micky thought it best not to force either one to talk about it and give them—and especially Liv—the time they needed to adjust to this new, other side of their mother. But it was only the next Wednesday morning when she went into their rooms before heading to work the way she always did, to make sure they were awake and had all their stuff packed before going to their dad’s for the next week, that she realized how much tension had been hanging in the air in the house.

Since the divorce, Micky had always dreaded Wednesdays because they were change-over day, but this particular Wednesday, for the very first time, she felt an odd kind of relief at having the house to herself for a week. Because, it hit her, she
had
been walking on eggshells, and she had been feeling guilty for changing her children’s view about their mother once again. Micky had already upended their lives once and ruptured the stable home environment they’d always enjoyed. Now, once more, she was asking them to accept more change, while all they wanted, she guessed, after finding their feet again in a new neighborhood and at a new school, was for everything to stay the same, at least for a little while.

But Micky didn’t believe in the sort of motherhood that sacrificed everything for the children. She’d divorced Darren to “find her truth,” as Amber would call it, to “walk her own path” and she would never have done that if she didn’t truly believe that, in the end, her children could only benefit from seeing their mother at her happiest. Now especially, after having told them about Robin, she had to hold on to that. Because no matter how much the news had upped the level of tension in the house and brought up another subject her son and daughter disagreed on, for Micky, a sense of relief was starting to set in.

She’d only gone and had the most difficult conversation of her life. Sure, she could probably have done it better, been more eloquent, injected more patience into her tone when she’d talked to her own mother, but nobody was perfect. They weren’t actors in a TV movie, where, after a big reveal like that, the heroine worded her feelings in a perfectly understandable way that moved her family members to the point that the only outcome was complete, instant acceptance and teary hugs.

“Bye, honey,” she said to Chris, who still had the covers pulled over his head. She walked into his room, sat down on the edge of his bed briefly and planted a kiss where she thought his face would be. “I love you.”

He grumbled something she didn’t understand. Micky had never been that much of a morning person herself, but the way teenagers could overdramatize having to get up early in the morning was quite impressive.

She hesitated in front of Liv’s room, knocked twice, and when no answer came she opened the door. Olivia was up already, staring at her phone screen.

“Hey, you,” Micky said, ignoring the fact that Olivia hadn’t replied to her knock on the door. Being a mother to teenagers equaled being able to forgive their impoliteness as instantly as it occurred. “Are you okay?” Micky leaned against the doorframe.

“I didn’t sleep very well,” Olivia mumbled.

“How come?”

Olivia just shrugged, but Micky knew to give her some time to articulate her thoughts.

“Everything’s changing. Dad’s got Lisa and you…” She huffed out some air. “You’re a
lesbian
now.” She barely pronounced the l-word.

Micky headed into her daughter’s room and parked her behind on the edge of the bed. “I know it’s a lot, honey.” She brushed a strand of Olivia’s bedhead hair away from her face. “So much change all at once, and it may feel unfair, but it will all work out in the end, I promise you that.”

“No it won’t, because now you and dad will never get back together,” Liv blurted out.

“Is that really what you want? For your dad and me to get back together?” Olivia had never expressed that wish before.

“I don’t know, Mom. All I know is that how things are now isn’t exactly what I’ve been dreaming of.”

Micky scooted a little closer and put a hand on Olivia’s shoulder. “I know, honey.” Micky was about to apologize, but how could she possibly say sorry for falling in love with a woman and the subsequent happiness that had taken hold of her? She just had to keep believing that, in time, Olivia would understand this was all for the best. Though, looking at her, as she sat so frumpily in bed, looking a couple of years younger than her fourteen years, Micky felt a pang of guilt rush through her again for not putting her children’s happiness before hers. “It’s going to be okay.” Micky didn’t know what else to do but utter a few generic phrases. Olivia was still so young and vulnerable and susceptible. She still needed her mother to tell her this. “I promise you.” She pulled Liv in an awkward hug and said, “I love you so, so much.”

✶ ✶ ✶

At The Pink Bean, Josephine was missing in action due to some long-announced activity at the university she had to attend. Micky had assured Kristin she could handle the morning rush by herself by now, but she sure was glad that Kristin was there to help.

Micky had discussed her weekend of coming out with her boss quite a few times over the course of that week already, but the conversation with Olivia was still fresh on her mind and Kristin had become some wise lesbian guru to her who held the answers to many questions.

“Despite being well into the twenty-first century and the great leaps in acceptance that have occurred over the last decade alone, we still live in a heteronormative society,” Kristin said during a break. “It’s what 99 percent of children still grow up seeing all around them and accepting as the one true way.”

Micky had to chuckle at the irony. “That’s exactly how my children grew up, despite having a lesbian woman as a godmother.”

“There’s only so much influence a single person can exercise.” Kristin looked so well put-together again, as though her clothes were freshly laundered this morning, and her subtle makeup had been applied by a professional. “But there’s some excellent literature on the subject and you know that Sheryl teaches gender studies. If you want to give them a broader perspective, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind talking to them. You know how she loves to talk.”

With a nice bottle of wine by her side
. Micky berated herself for that instantly. “That might be a good idea. And either way, it won’t hurt them to get to know a few more lesbians.”

“Sheryl and I have a bunch of nieces and nephews, and I can assure you that they are the best-educated young adults on gender- and queer-related topics.” Kristin smiled. “She even managed to convince my very conservative Korean parents to embrace the fact that their daughter was never going to marry a respectable man. And this was years ago. But I guess when someone with Sheryl’s natural gravitas and intense stare looks at you and tells you it’s okay to be gay, you just can’t argue against that.” Kristin chuckled. “And once she’s on her soapbox, it’s really hard to get her off. Unless you’re waving around a bottle of 1999 Barossa Shiraz.”

Micky didn’t know what to say to that last remark, so she focused on what Kristin had said before. “I would really appreciate Sheryl taking the time to do that. Between her and Amber, my kids don’t stand a chance of not accepting the fact that their mother has a lesbian lover.” Micky was so grateful to be able to discuss all of this so openly at her workplace and with her boss, who was quickly turning into a good friend.

“In the end, the most important thing they’ll need is some time to adjust to the idea. They’ll come around once they see how happy Robin makes you, Micky.”

“Hm,” Micky hummed. She couldn’t wait to see Robin that night and to be able to spend every night with her until her children returned the following Wednesday.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

“There’s nothing more I want from this weekend than to lie naked with you in bed,” Micky said. She might have only worked part-time at The Pink Bean, but this week, after all the emotional turmoil of the previous weekend and having taken calls from her mother every other day to ask whether she was still a lesbian, Micky was exhausted. And despite the brief sense of relief that came with the kids staying at their dad’s, she had missed them much more than during other weeks.

“That can easily be arranged.” Robin smiled at her. She’d come straight over to Micky’s house after attending good-bye drinks for a colleague. Her eyes were a little watery, and from the way she was slightly slurring her words, Micky concluded she was quite tipsy. Micky had fed her a healthy Moroccan vegetable stew that Amber had once showed her how to make. It was now one of Micky’s easy go-to dishes when she was tired but wanted to ingest some nutrients instead of getting fast food, which had been Amber’s argument exactly when she’d given Micky the recipe. Her dear old friend Amber. Micky had no idea what her life would be like if it weren’t for Amber. Would she ever have found the courage to even admit her true desires to herself?

“You don’t look like you’ll be able to stay awake very long tonight, though, babe,” Micky teased. “You’ve been hard at work managing diversity all week.”

Robin nodded. “This guy who is leaving, at first they weren’t going to replace him, but now there’s talk of perhaps combining his position with mine, which could possibly lead to a more permanent job for me here.”

Micky’s eyes grew wide. “Really?”

“It’s a possibility. Goodwin Stark is not a small corporation, and it’s definitely not a done deal yet. And you know how HR people love to blab on about career possibilities and positive changes and so on and so forth, but there’s talk.”

“You can tell whoever has the final say about this that Michaela Ferro, of the Mosman Ferros, is petitioning for you to stay for a good long while.”

Robin chuckled. “I’m petitioning for Michaela Ferro to take her ass upstairs and take off all her clothes.”

Micky glanced at Robin. She looked a little disheveled and a lot tired, but to her, she was still the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. “Sure, but I’m setting a timer to see how long my naked ass will be able to keep you awake.”

“You’re forgetting that I’m still a long way away from being forty. I have stamina.” Robin broadened her chest and beat her fists against them like a gorilla.

“Why don’t
you
get your ass upstairs then and show
me
,” Micky challenged.

“I shall.” Robin hopped off her chair and bounded up the stairs.

By the time Micky had put the half-empty bottle of wine in the fridge, rinsed a few dishes, and made it to her bedroom, Robin was cozily tucked in, only her head peeking out from under the sheets; her eyes looked heavy-lidded, as though she was seconds away from drifting into the most long-awaited of sleeps.

Micky slipped out of her clothes and under the covers with Robin, still astounded by the instant comforting effect a warm body in her bed had on her, and gazed at her
lover
. “Sleep tight, honeybun.” She kissed her on the nose and turned off the lights. They had all weekend to do what Micky had, again, been thinking of all day.

✶ ✶ ✶

Micky was awakened by the sound of water cascading down. Robin was already up and about. Before taking the job at The Pink Bean, Micky would have been up well before eight on a Saturday morning, but nowadays she often slept until after nine. She stretched her arms over her head, and as she did, an idea popped into her mind. She jumped out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom. The glass shower cabin was entirely fogged up, and from what she could make out, Robin had her back to the door. One of the features of the house that had made Micky fall in love with it on the spot, had been the huge shower. Not that back then she had any idea of what might occur in it, but she was about to put it to good use. She opened the door and slipped in behind Robin.

“Oh my God,” Robin shrieked. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”