Nobody’s Girl (19 page)

‘Not until I’ve had my say. You’ve ruined my Derek’s life – made a laughing stock of him – and I hope I live to see you pay.’

‘I … I didn’t mean to hurt him.’

‘Don’t give me that crap. You’d hardly been in the area for five minutes before you threw yourself at Derek. I had my suspicions from the start, but you took me in with your innocent act.’

‘Honestly, Connie, I really didn’t mean to hurt him.’

‘Then why did you sleep with Kevin Dolby?’

‘I … I …’ Pearl floundered.

‘Don’t bother looking for an excuse because there isn’t one. I’ve sussed you out and I know why. You’re nothing but a user! You took up with my Derek, but only to keep him on the side in case you couldn’t snare Kevin Dolby. If your little trap hadn’t worked, you’d have married Derek as the second-best meal ticket, and no doubt made his life a misery. Well, miss, you’ve got Kevin, so it seems your scheme worked but, knowing that young man, I reckon you’ll live to regret it.’

‘No … please, it wasn’t like that,’ Pearl protested, hardly recognising the woman who stood in front of her. Connie had been like a mother to her, a woman she had grown so fond of, but now all she saw in Connie’s eyes was hate.

‘Shut up, you bitch!’ Connie screamed.

‘Gran, come on, that’s enough,’ Derek called as he ran towards them.

‘Enough?’ Connie snapped. ‘I ain’t even started yet.’

‘Yeah, go on, Connie, give her what for,’ a costermonger called from the small crowd that had gathered.

Pearl looked around frantically, wanting only escape, but before she could move she felt the sting of Connie’s hand across her face. She heard a small cheer, saw Derek staying his gran’s hand as she lifted it again, and then, seeing a small gap, she ran through it, sobbing as she flew to Bessie’s with Connie’s words ringing in her ears.

Her steps faltered. It was true, she
had
used Derek, but not for the reason that Connie had spewed out. She looked back at her time in the orphanage and the way she’d always found someone to protect her. With deep shame Pearl realised she had done the same thing here. She had sought Derek out – sought his protection – and though not to keep him on the side, she had used him for her own ends. She ran into Bessie’s, ignoring the old woman’s shout as she fled to her room, throwing herself onto the bed as self-loathing swamped her.

Only fifteen minutes later, she heard Bessie calling, ‘Come down, girl. Kevin’s here to take you to the registry office.’

Lacklustre, Pearl rose from the bed, finding Kevin waiting impatiently when she walked into the shop.

‘Come on, we ain’t got much time before they close.’

‘Pearl, are you sure about this?’ Bessie asked.

‘What’s it to do with you?’ Kevin snapped.

‘Huh, take a look at her. Does she look like a girl who’s happily going to arrange her wedding?’

‘It’s all right, Bessie, I’m fine, honestly,’ Pearl said, managing a parody of a smile. She briefly touched the old woman’s arm to reassure her, and then followed Kevin outside to his car.

‘Look at that lot gawking,’ Kevin said as they drove off. ‘Anyway, why the long face?’

‘It’s nothing,’ Pearl said.

‘Well then, give us a smile.’

Pearl turned and as their eyes briefly met, she managed to force her lips into the semblance of one.

‘That’s better,’ he said, his eyes back on the road. ‘For a moment there you looked like a lamb going to slaughter.’

He concentrated on his driving then, speaking briefly about the arrangements, whilst Pearl hardly listened. She was an awful person, dreadful, hurting a man who had shown her only kindness. Oh, Derek – Derek, what have I done …?

‘Sorry, what did you say?’

‘For Christ’s sake, Pearl, what’s the matter with you?’

‘Nothing, it’s nothing.’

‘Well, if you want to change your mind, now’s the time to do it. We’re almost at the registry office.’

For a moment Pearl was tempted. She wanted to run, to hide. To never have to face Derek, or Connie, again.

‘Well, girl,’ Kevin asked as he pulled into the kerb, ‘what’s it to be?’

She turned to look at him, her thoughts still racing. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t run. She was carrying Kevin’s baby, he was the father and she needed him. Maybe there was a way out. When they were married, perhaps she could persuade Kevin to find a job out of the area. ‘I don’t want to change my mind.’

‘Right, come on then, let’s get this wedding booked.’

He smiled, and Pearl’s stomach fluttered. He was so handsome, and he was being so nice, but things changed when they walked into the registry office.

The wedding proved difficult to arrange, neither of them anticipating that with Pearl being underage, without a birth certificate, or parental permission, there’d be complications. Legal advice was suggested, and when they left the registry office Kevin was in a foul mood.

He flung open the car door. ‘Christ, that was a complete waste of time and I don’t see how a solicitor can help. He won’t be able to conjure up a flaming birth certificate out of thin air.’

Pearl hung her head, thinking it was no more than she deserved. Derek’s face returned to haunt her, the pain she had seen in his eyes. She had hurt him badly and still couldn’t get Connie Lewis’s words out of her mind.

They drove back to Battersea in silence, Kevin’s mood still dark, and as they turned into the yard at the back of the café, he finally spoke.

‘Come on, we’d better get this over with and tell my mother.’

They sat in the living room, Dolly saying after they explained what had happened, ‘They must know what they’re talking about if they suggested legal advice, but a solicitor’s going to cost a pretty penny. Have you got any savings, Pearl?’

She shook her head. ‘No, I’m afraid not.’

‘Bloody hell, I ain’t made of money, but I suppose I’ll have to pay. You’d better make an appointment tomorrow and let’s hope it doesn’t take long to sort out.’ She scowled. ‘More bloody expense. Take her home, Kevin. I’ve had enough for one day.‘

Pearl rose to her feet, her shoulders slumped as she left the room. They made their way downstairs and as Kevin unlocked the door a blast of cold air hit them.

‘You don’t need me to walk you home – there’s no point in both of us freezing – and I ain’t too pleased about all this either. I was hoping to tap my mother for a few bob, but I ain’t got a hope in hell now.’

She nodded, just wanting to get away from Kevin and his nasty mood. He was upset, and she couldn’t blame him, but as he closed the door behind her, she almost ran back to Bessie’s.

Bessie was sitting by the fire, one side of her face red from the heat.

‘Blimey, what’s up, love?’

There was concern and sympathy in the old woman’s eyes and seeing this, Pearl flopped onto a chair. She then spilled her misery out in a torrent – the run-in with Connie Lewis, followed by what had happened at the registry office.

Bessie said nothing, letting her cry until there were just juddering sobs. She then leaned forward, saying softly, ‘Come on now. A solicitor will soon sort things out.’

Pearl drew in another shuddering breath. ‘If he doesn’t, it’s no more than I deserve.’

‘Don’t be silly. You can’t beat yourself up over the things Connie Lewis said.

‘She’s right. I … I’m not a nice person.’

‘Rubbish. You were only a child in that orphanage and did what you had to in order to survive. It doesn’t make you a bad person.’

Pearl looked tiredly at Bessie. ‘But I still carried on when I left. I wanted protection and Derek seemed an ideal choice.’

‘Gawd, love, I wish you’d stop being so hard on yourself. When you left the orphanage you were still a youngster and had to strike out on your own. You came to a new area without any friends or family, and of course you were nervous. It’s a bit rough around here and it ain’t surprising that you felt the need for someone to look out for you.’

‘But that doesn’t make it right.’

‘I’m not saying it does, I’m just saying it’s understandable. Listen, girl, we all make mistakes, but hopefully we learn from them. You’ve had a hard lesson and you can let it sink you, or you can take it on board and grow.’

‘How can I do that when I’ve ruined Derek’s life?’

‘Look, you can’t change what’s happened. Derek will get over it in time, and, who knows, eventually he might meet someone else.’

‘Oh, I hope so, Bessie.’

‘He’s a nice bloke, and though not much to look at, I’m sure someone out there will appreciate his good nature. Now come on, buck yourself up. As I said, you’ve had a hard lesson, one to teach you that you can’t hide behind someone else. You’ve got to stand on your own two feet.’

Pearl’s nod of agreement was half-hearted. It was impossible – she’d never have the courage. It was women she feared now, especially the likes of Connie Lewis, Mo Price and her future mother-in-law. Oh, if only she could get Dolly to like her, to establish a good relationship. Nobody messed with Dolly and it would be wonderful to have the woman batting on her side.

Derek Lewis stepped out of the dark doorway, the lamplight hitting his face as he threw a last glance up at Bessie’s window before moving away. He was being stupid, he knew that, but was unable to stop himself from shadowing Pearl. She hadn’t left Bessie’s house during the whole weekend, but still he’d watched.

When Pearl emerged that morning, he’d only had a brief glimpse of her before she ran into the café. Then when she finished her shift he’d been horrified to see his gran attacking her. He’d stepped in to break it up, but Pearl hadn’t even looked his way, and that had hurt. Christ, he was being a mug and he knew that, but he just couldn’t get Pearl out of his mind.

Everyone was now saying that Pearl was a tart, and she was pregnant to prove it, but he still had doubts. He wanted a word with Kevin, to hear his side of the story, but the bastard was keeping his head down. Derek threw a look towards the café, and his shoulders lifted. There he was now, and moving swiftly Derek covered the distance between them.

‘I want a word with you,’ he growled.

‘Look, Derek, none of this was my fault,’ Kevin said hastily.

‘Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told, but I’d like to hear it from you. If you’re so innocent, how come you’ve been avoiding me?’

‘I haven’t. I just didn’t want to rub salt in the wound, that’s all. Christ, mate, we go back years and I knew how cut up you’d be.’

‘Yeah, right, so how come you had it off with my girl?’

‘’Cos, like you, I was taken for a mug. Pearl told me that it was over between the two of you, and I believed her.’

‘You could have checked that with me first.’

‘Yeah, maybe, but at the time she was stripping off, and naked Pearl’s hard to resist. She threw herself at me like a cat on heat.’

Derek pictured the scene, feeling sick to his stomach, but then shook his head in denial. ‘That doesn’t sound like Pearl.’

‘I was shocked too. She looks such an innocent, but she ain’t, mate, and if you must know, I wasn’t the first either.’

‘You … you mean …?’

‘Yeah, believe me, she was no virgin.’

Derek found himself gawking. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I’ve had enough women to know.’

Yeah, Derek thought, that was true enough. With his looks, Kevin had never been short of women. Everyone was right then: Pearl was a tart. He felt a wave of disgust. ‘Christ, I could do with a drink.’

‘Come on, I’ll buy you a pint,’ Kevin said. ‘I could do with one too, and you should think yourself lucky. At least you ain’t stuck with marrying her.’

‘Yeah, I’m beginning to think you’re right,’ Derek said, deciding that Kevin was welcome to her, yet even as this thought crossed his mind he knew it would still take him a long time to get over Pearl Button.

When Pearl saw a solicitor, there had been no swift solution. He had written to the orphanage and was now awaiting their reply. He also advised that without a birth certificate, the only way forward was to swear an affidavit. When asking what this meant, he explained that it was a sworn oath, in his presence, that she was the person she claimed to be. It sounded a daft procedure to Pearl, but one that she complied with.

It was now the eve of Christmas and Pearl was on her way to work, something she dreaded every day. As she scuttled out of Bessie’s door and into the market, she kept her head low, but as usual there were murmurs as soon as the costermongers saw her. She glanced up from under her lashes, saw Derek turn his back as she passed, the man beside him doing the same. Derek would never forgive her – Dolly’s story had seen to that – but she missed him and his gran.

To keep Kevin safe she had gone along with Dolly’s lies, but it didn’t seem possible that only a short time ago she had felt a part of this community. Now she was an outcast. A costermonger hawked, the globule landing in front of Pearl’s feet, and as she began to run, her stomach heaved.

‘Yeah, that’s it, do a runner, and keep going until you’re out of Battersea,’ the man shouted.

‘Yeah, you tell her, Billy,’ a woman customer cried.

Still fleeing, Pearl flung open the door of the café, almost falling inside. She didn’t stop until she reached the kitchen, her breath coming in gasps as she pulled up in front of Dolly.

‘Huh, judging by the state of you, I can see that the locals haven’t stopped giving you a hard time.’

‘Some of them are still spitting at me.’

Unsympathetic, Dolly shrugged her shoulders. ‘As soon as they find another bit of gossip to titillate them, they’ll lay off. In the meantime you’ll just have to put up with it. Now I suggest you get on with the spuds.’

Pearl hung her coat up, after which she started to peel the potatoes. She had learned how to cook vegetables competently now and, glad to be out of the way, had no wish to return to the dining room. However, despite trying to please Dolly, she’d been unable to make any grounds. Her future mother-in-law continued to pretend that everything was fine when anyone else was in hearing range, but alone she dropped the act and made her feelings plain. Pearl knew she’d have to try harder, but despite always being polite and working hard, nothing she said or did seemed to please Dolly.

‘Come on, Pearl, get a move on, and when you’ve finished the spuds, get on with the carrots.’

Pearl increased her efforts, surprised when Dolly spoke again, this time pleasantly. ‘It’ll be nice to have a couple of days off, and I’ll expect you for Christmas dinner tomorrow. In fact, if you come over at about eleven you can give me a hand.‘

‘I … I won’t be joining you for dinner.’

‘Do what?’

‘I can’t leave Bessie. She’s poorly.’

‘If you’re angling to bring her along, you can forget it. I can’t stand the woman. Now as I said, I’ll expect you at eleven.’

Pearl stomach quaked, dreading a confrontation but, worried about Bessie, she had no choice. ‘I’m sorry, but I really can’t come. Bessie’s in bed and needs looking after. I can’t leave her on her own.’

‘She’s on her own now, ain’t she?’

‘A neighbour is keeping an eye on her, but can’t do it on Christmas Day.’

Dolly’s face suffused with colour, but before she could say anything, Gertie came out of the washing-up room.

‘I’ve finished all the breakfast dishes, Dolly. Can I have a break now?’

‘Yes, of course you can. Get yourself a cup of tea and fetch one for me and Pearl while you’re at it.’

Gertie hurried out, almost colliding with Kevin as he pushed through the doors. He swaggered up to Pearl, flinging an arm around her shoulders. ‘Hello, love. Did you hear from the solicitor this morning?’

‘There was nothing in the post.’

‘Sod it. Well, that’s that. We won’t hear now until the New Year.’

‘If this goes on much longer, she’ll be huge by the time you get married.’ Dolly snapped.

Pearl looked down at her stomach, seeing the tiny mound. Kevin followed her gaze, a small frown creasing his forehead. ‘I hope not, Mum.’

‘Let’s hope he gets a move on then. Now if you don’t mind, Pearl’s got work to do.’

‘All right, I’m off out.’ He gave Pearl another swift hug, ignoring his mother’s scowl as he left by the back door.

Pearl, though, couldn’t ignore Dolly’s attitude. The woman hated Kevin to show her any affection and once again Pearl was filled with dread at the thought of living in the same flat as Dolly. If Kevin would find a job, they could move away, but he avoided the subject of work. Maybe she should talk to him again – but not in Dolly’s hearing.

When the new administrator started work at the orphanage, she faced a pile of work on her desk, but was gradually ploughing through it. Today, in answer to a letter, she had to search the records. She had found a thin file on Pearl Button, but there was little to read. It was odd that the child had never been placed into foster care, and there’d been no applications to adopt. If she’d been mentally deficient it would have been understandable, these children always difficult to place, but looking at the sparse reports on Pearl’s educational progress, this didn’t seem to be the case.

In an endeavour to find out more about the girl, she had questioned members of staff, finding two who remembered her. Pearl Button had been described as nervous and quiet, but neither said she lacked intelligence.

The administrator picked up the letter from the solicitor again. It seemed that Pearl Button wanted to marry and he was enquiring if there were any relatives on record. There were none.

With a sigh she picked up her pen. There wasn’t much she could tell the man. Pearl Button’s records said that she’d been abandoned, the date, but that was all. The sparse letter completed, she blotted it, and after addressing the envelope she put it on one side for the post.

With a vast amount of paperwork in front of her, the administrator now put the girl’s file to one side and tackled her next problem.

As Kevin drove along Falcon Road he was remembering how he’d been against the marriage at first, but it had been the thought of having Pearl in his bed every night that changed his mind. Now though, she was showing, her stomach starting to swell, and he doubted he’d fancy her for much longer. Christ, he hoped they’d hear from the solicitor soon, but when they married he’d see that his lifestyle didn’t change. Unlike his father, he’d show his wife who was the boss from the start. His face darkened, realising there’d be little chance of that whilst they lived with his mother. She still treated him like a child, and ruled with a rod of iron. Not only that, if he showed Pearl any affection his mother acted like a jealous girlfriend, and it sickened him. He wanted away from her, to be the man of his own house, but without money it was impossible.

Once again he dreamed of one big job, one that would net him thousands instead of hundreds. The last two he’d done with Nobby and Dick hadn’t been bad, but by the time they fenced the gear through Vince and split the cash three ways, they’d each been left with peanuts. His lips tightened in anger. That bastard Vince had the borough sewn up. He didn’t take the risks, leaving others to do that, but he was making a mint.

If he could find a job, and a good one, there was no way he’d fence the goods through Vince. It would solve his problems if he could find a cash haul, but needed an easy target. Small shops were useless, their takings hardly worth the risk, and of course robbing a bank would be impossible. His mind turned. If only he could find somewhere that held a lot of cash on premises, yet had little security. Huh, fat chance of that!

Fighting to suppress his frustration, Kevin’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. He badly needed a trip to Soho, but his mother was keeping him short of money. He knew why. The cow. She was punishing him for getting Pearl pregnant.

When she finished her shift, Pearl was relieved to find the walk home from work trouble free, the market still buzzing with life as people rushed to do last-minute shopping. There were many unsold Christmas trees, men pursing their lips and vying for a bargain as they made their selections. It was freezing, a blustery wind blowing, but the costermongers were wrapped up warmly, their voices ringing out as they tried to sell the last of their Brussels sprouts, parsnips and carrots, each trying to shout louder than the others. Pearl would have liked to have stopped to buy a few things, but feared her reception as she hurried past.

She went straight upstairs to see Bessie, finding her huddled in bed with a scarf around her neck, and not looking much better.

‘Thank the Lord you’re back,’ she croaked. Then fishing for her hot-water bottle, she held it out. ‘I’m bleedin’ freezing and her next door hasn’t been in for hours.’

‘I’ll refill it,’ Pearl said as she looked worriedly at the old lady.

‘Make me a cup of tea while you’re at it,’ Bessie managed to choke out before a bout of coughing had her gasping for breath.

‘I think you should see the doctor again.’

‘No, I’ll be all right. Pass me them fags.’

‘I don’t think you should be smoking.’

‘Leave it out. It’s a bit late to stop now, and anyway, a good cough helps to clear me chest.’

Pearl’s eyebrows rose but, knowing it would be pointless to argue, she hurried to the kitchen. At least Bessie was showing some spirit, which was an improvement on yesterday.

If Bessie hadn’t felt so ill, there was no way she’d have stayed in bed, and even now she complained constantly about the shop being shut and her loss of trade.

Pearl looked in the cupboards. She wanted to persuade Bessie to eat something, and pulled out a tin of soup.

In no time Pearl was on her way back upstairs with the hot-water bottle tucked under her arm as she carefully balanced a tray.

Bessie refused the soup, only taking the cup of tea. ‘It’s gonna be a bleak Christmas for you. I’d planned to cook us a nice dinner and maybe stick up a few decorations, but I just ain’t been up to it.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’

‘Still, I expect you’ve been invited to Dolly Dolby’s.’

‘Yes, but I’m staying with you.’

‘There’s no need for that. At least at Dolly’s you’ll get a decent Christmas dinner.’

‘I’m staying with you,’ Pearl repeated firmly.

Bessie sighed heavily. ‘All right, and you’re a good kid. I’m gonna miss you when you get married.’

‘I’ll miss you too, but don’t worry, I’ll pop over to see you as often as I can.’

Bessie patted the back of Pearl’s hand. ‘I know you will. As I told you, we were destined to meet.’

‘Yes, but what else has your second sight shown you?’

‘Nothing,’ Bessie said, her rheumy eyes becoming veiled. ‘Now bugger off and leave me in peace.’

‘I will when you’ve had your medicine.’

The old lady’s lips tightened with annoyance, causing Pearl to smile as she poured cough mixture into a teaspoon. Unmarried, with no living family, Bessie was fiercely independent and resented having to be nursed. She put on a hard and cantankerous front, but Pearl knew this was just a veneer that hid her kind, soft nature.

Pearl held the spoon to Bessie’s lips. ‘Here, drink this and I’ll go, but I’ll be up to check on you again.’

The old woman grimaced as she swallowed the medicine. ‘Yuk.’

Pearl pulled the blankets over Bessie, saying as she left, ‘I’ll be back soon.’

Bessie just nodded, her eyes already drooping, and when Pearl went into the living room she found it freezing. She hurried to light a fire, screwing up old newspaper to place in the grate. After adding kindling, and a few nuggets of coal, she was pleased when it lit straight away.

After waiting a few minutes, Pearl piled on more coal, and then sank onto a fireside chair, holding her hands out to the warmth. The flames flickered and danced merrily, mesmerising Pearl as time ticking by.

Reluctantly Pearl finally stood up, her legs mottled and red with heat as she went to check on Bessie, finding the old woman asleep. She peeped in on her several times during the next few hours, and then just before seven a knock on the shop door had her hurrying downstairs to see who it was.

A smile lit her face. ‘Kevin,’ she cried, thrilled when he gave her a swift kiss as he stepped inside.

As Kevin walked into the living room he was surprised to find it empty. ‘Where’s Bessie?’

‘She’s in bed with bronchitis.’

‘So – we have the place to ourselves.’

‘Well, yes, I suppose so.’

Kevin smiled with satisfaction. He and Pearl had only been alone in his car, and in the small space it was unsatisfactory. When he called round to Bessie’s, she never left them alone, and his mother was the same. It maddened him. The silly bitches didn’t seem to realise that they were bolting the stable door after the horse had bolted. He lowered himself onto the sofa, arms outstretched. ‘Come here.’

As Pearl sat down, Kevin kissed her passionately, and as usual she melted against him. So far he had resisted revealing his preferences, deciding that he didn’t want to frighten her off, but once they were married she’d learn a thing or two. He’d dominate, show what a man he was. With Pearl he always felt in control, but that wasn’t enough. With his need to overpower, he wanted resistance, but she was always so soft and compliant.

‘Kevin, have you had any luck finding a job? I really do want to move away from here.’

‘I’m looking, but I ain’t working for peanuts.’

‘I can work too.’

‘Oh, yeah? And what about when you drop the sprog?’

‘Others manage.’

‘Look, I’ve told you I’m trying to find a job, so just shut up about it.’

‘All right. I’m sorry.’

Pleased that she didn’t nag, he smiled. ‘Come on, we’re on our own so let’s make the most of it.’ His head dipped, once again kissing her passionately, nipping her lower lip and hoping to hear a yelp of pain.

There was no resistance and his frustration mounted. He paid the girl in Soho to fight, to beg for mercy, and God, he missed it.