Nuklear Age (55 page)

Right. Thanks Doc
. He turned to Superion who was cracking jokes with his villain buddies while bending things like lamp posts and cars around their bodies so the police wouldn’t have any trouble finding them.

“We’ve got to stop Dr. Menace. She’s robbing a bank!”

“Dr. Menace, eh?” Superion adopted a contemplative look. “Naw, I think we’re more needed right here. I wouldn’t worry too much about her.”

“What are you talking about? These morons pose more danger to themselves than to anyone else. Just let them go, we’ve got a real problem to deal with.”

“C’mon. It’ll be okay,” Superion assured.

“Urgh.”

__________

As the days passed, Superion cut through Metroville’s villainous population like a hot knife through flesh. Only without the mess or pain. Or the screaming, oh ye gods the endless screaming—why won’t their wet, tortured screams stop haunting me!

Sorry. Let’s just say that Superion was able to bring nearly all of Metroville’s nefarious characters to justice. Or, rather nearly all, as the Venomous Villainess, Dr. Menace, still remained at large. Even so, the good citizens of the city heralded Superion’s every success as a triumph of all humanity. Parades were thrown, merchandise was bought, and many, many T-shirts were worn. By the following Friday, Mayor Incompetent Bureaucrat proclaimed every day to be Superion Day. Huge celebrations were held around the city as Nuklear Man continued to rot in the abandoned North Tower of Katabasis Prison. The rest of the city’s heroes were merely forced into early retirement thanks to The Trial of Nuklear Man.

As the sun set that Friday, Superion and Atomik Lad were finishing their final patrol of the city. Atomik Lad had been checking his Danger: Watch almost twice a minute for the last half hour.

“Just a little longer and I can finally get away from this twit,” the ex-sidekick said to himself.

He had been trying to find a way to free Nuklear Man through legal channels all week, but he was blocked at every turn by new legislation using the Golden Guardian’s trial as precedent. And with Superion’s popularity, he wasn’t sure it would matter even if he could free Nuklear Man anyway. The populace would probably boo them out of town. He suspected they only continued to tolerate his own presence because Superion was never far away from him in public.

“Hey, Sport,” the Aegis Against Evil said as they flew among the great towers of Metroville. “You got a cake in the oven there, pal?”

Errrrg
, he thought. “I’ve just got some…y’know, plans for tonight is all.”

“Ohh, these plans of yours wouldn’t happen to involve that little peach of yours, Rachel, would they?”

Atomik Lad came to an abrupt halt. Superion looped around and hovered nearby. “What’s the matter, Chief? I say something wrong?”

His Atomik Field quickened its roiling flames for an instant. “How do you know her name?”

“Er, well. You’ve mentioned her before.”

“No, I haven’t. I've gone out of my way to never mention her around you. How do you know her name?”

“You must’ve slipped up. I know you mentioned her because how else could I know?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Atomik Lad said with narrowed eyes shining with suspicion.

“Hm, I’m sure you said something about her when we first met.
But
look at the time. Looks like you’re free for the night.”

“Yeah.”

“Remember, tomorrow’s patrol starts at nine in the morning.”

Atomik Lad turned and flew at top speed toward the Silo without a word.

Superion hovered among the building tops, his silver cape waving in the winds that rushed between the spires of business. He watched his appointed sidekick fly out of sight and then tracked him with Superior VisionTM.

“Veering toward the University, eh?”

A beep, imperceptible except to Superior HearingTM, beeped its little beep from within the surrogate hero’s outfit. He brought his senses to a more normal range and dug in a pocket to retrieve his Evil: Communicator.

“Zuperion!” it barked angrily. “You nearly cozt uz
everything
, you fool! Now he may zuzpect you!”

“You worry too much, Princess. It’ll be okay.”

“Bah! Your Zuperior MindTM trickz will not work on me, boy.”

“Oh.”

“Too bad the rezt of Metroville cannot zay the zame!” she cackled maniacally.

“Yup. I’ve got this town eating out of my hand.”

“Let uz not forget who made all of thiz pozzible. It waz
my
geniuz which maztered the old zuper zoldier ‘Zuperion Procezz’ that gave you incredible powerz—juzt like thoze of your father, Adam Powerz, more commonly known az
the late Captain Liberty!”

“Yeah, but my dad was never
this
strong,” Superion said. He closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment. Red-violet energy swelled around his hands.

He had to keep it in check most of the time. Just letting go, even a little bit, felt like his every nerve had its bliss factor turned up to eleven.

“True. Had your father pozzezzed the zpecial modificationz I made to the Zuperion Procezz, he would have eazily zurvived the nuclear explozion that cozt him hiz life while zimultaneouzly giving birth to Nuklear Man.”

“And for what?” Superion spat. “So that Golden Goon could walk all over his good name and make everyone forget what my father has done for this country! For the
world!”

“Yez, well—”

“If it weren’t for my dad, the Nazis would’ve taken over with their giant mechanical Deathbots.”

“Yez, but—”

“And my dad saved the world when he destroyed the renegade remains of the Viel alien fleet after Dr. Zoom’s suicide attack decimated it.”

“I get the idea—”

“Not to mention over fifty
years
of selflessly dedicating himself to justice. The whole world owes its continued existence to my father. But who is it they remember? Who is it they adore? Who is it they praise?” He paused to slow his accelerated breathing.

“Finally,” Dr. Menace muttered. “Yez, thankz to my ingenious zcheming, that Nuklear Imbecile haz been made into a villain in their eyez. They’ve locked him away. He iz completely powerlezz to stop uz.” She stifled another maniacal outburst. “And even if, by zome miracle, he were to be freed from hiz imprizonment, I have seen to it that you are more than a match for hiz Plazma Powerz by augmenting your already Superior PowerzTM with my Negaflux technology, thereby allowing you to counteract or even completely
overwhelm
any force directed against you! Az long az you continue to rezt in your containment capzule to recharge your Negaflux rezerves, at unbelievable expenze which explainz my recent bank robberiez, you’re functionally invinzible!”

Superion hurled a “SUPERIOR BEAMTM!” toward the stars for no other reason than he could. “They’ll pay for forgetting,” he growled. “Every last one of them.”

__________

Meanwhile, deep within the Scientific: Bowels of Überdyne’s many secret sub-basements, Dr. Genius was working a Kopelson Intrinsity Formula through several sequences of Atomik Lad’s KI data when her handy pocket supercomputer beeped at her. She took it out and checked its display.

“Hm,” she said after a moment’s contemplation. “Interesting. A Negaflux field in the form of a coherent beam has been detected in Metroville. A weapon of that power would be essentially
unstoppable
. That could be terribly dangerous in the wrong hands. I wonder if this has anything to do with Dr. Menace’s recent crime wave.” She punched several buttons on her hand held computer and spoke into it. “Nameless Technician. I want you to step up Negaflux monitoring. I fear Dr. Menace may be up to something.”

__________

Atomik Lad walked out of the Danger: Kitchen with a couple cans of Danger: Dr. Zap. “Anything else, m’dear?”

Rachel waved him to sit next to her on the Danger: Couch.

“Righto.” He jumped next to her and handed over one of the drinks.

“Thanks, Sparky,” she said while doing a sneaky little snuggle-lean thing up against him. She noticed a certain awkwardness in the way he held himself. “Hey, what’s on your mind?”

He shook himself out of his stupor. “Oh, I, nothing. I’m sorry.” He allowed himself to relax against her. “I guess it’s just kind of weird not having Nuke around, is all.”

“Yeah, I’ve only been here once before and I can tell it’s not quite right without him. Like, I don’t know. Like it’s missing something.”

“The noise. It’s too quiet.”

She gave his ear a little nibble. “We could fix that.”

__________

Issue 42 – Usurper!

The same night, in the middle of the Abandoned Warehouse district of town, a ghastly green glow spilled from the broken windows and cracked walls of a warehouse that was not so abandoned after all. Within this very unabandoned warehouse was—you know the answer folks—Dr. Menace reclining in a giant pile of pilfered money. She sipped a neon blue colored liquid from an oversized glass that had a distinctly tropical little paper umbrella floating in it.

Across from her, surrounded by a whole heck of a lot of Evil: Recharging Equipment, was Superion’s containment cell. She took a deep breath and reveled in the sweet electric smell of Science as the humming machinery replenished Superion’s supply of Negaflux energy for the following day.

“Oh sure, the recharging procezz cozts nearly a hundred thouzand dollarz a night in nuclear grade plutonium and an additional eighty thouzand dollarz worth of rubies fuzed into a single gem for the focuzing lenz to power theze machinez,
and
the pzychological ramificationz of being given ezzentially unlimited strength hazn’t been properly conzidered or even accounted for, but I believe it haz been worth the rizks now that Metroville iz almozt mine! Muwa hahahahaha!”

Superion’s chamber pulsed with an intense burst of energy that coursed through the machines hooked up to his canister.

Dr. Menace jumped up and stalked over to the chamber. “What have I told you about theze sessions? You muzt remain calm or there could be radically disastrous rezults!”

Bubbles flourished within the chamber’s eerie green depths.

“Er,” Dr. Menace said. “Yez, well I obviouzly meant that Metroville iz almozt
ourz
. You see, it’z juzt that I am not uzed to working with a partner and therefore, whilzt in the heights of my Evil: Rantingz, I sometimez forget to pluralize. Yez, that iz it.”

Superion responded with bubbles that were plainly put at ease by the Venomous Villainess’s answer. The Aegis Against Evil snickered while thinking to himself
Heh, sucker
.

Dr. Menace walked back to her incredibly comfortable chair made of cold hard cash while thinking to herself,
Heh, sucker
.

__________

Still that very same night, somewhere else across town, Nuklear Man was chained to a decaying stone wall of Katabasis Prison’s North Tower. A mask of iron bound his mind as well as his face.

“Without a face,” he said with a rasping voice. “Without a face you don’t have a name. Without a name you don’t have any words. Without words you are nothing.” He giggled like a madman. “And nothing is invincible! Nothing is perfect! The fools, they have given me the keys to unlimited power! The world will be
mine!
I shall rain Plazma Death upon the cities of man until the oceans run red with their blood and the skies are black with the smoke of their burning babies and—”

“Hey! Shut up in there!”

Nuklear Man cowered against the wall. “Sorry.”

__________

The sun rose on another beautiful Saturday morning. Fiery light glinted against the great skyscrapers of Metroville. Early weekend traffic of happy couples in search of shops, parks, breakfast, and whatever it is people go out in the morning for began to roam the streets.

Atomik Lad squat down and ran his hand through the remains of the Danger: Couch. It’s stuffing lay scattered and exposed like the entrails of a slain beast across the Danger: Floor. He squeezed some of the fluffy substance between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it between his palms like the making of a meatball. He closed his eyes and let his mind roam....

“The noise. It’s quiet.”

“We could fix that.”

Warmth. Flood of sensation like electricity surging down half my body. Warm. Bodies. Sex. Children. Parents. Blood. Warm. Red. Parents. Blood. Parents’ blood. Warm and red. Drip drop, drip dropping from the ceiling into thick pools. Still warm. Wide eye terror staring at me from mom’s disembodied head lying among bodies rent asunder. Still warm. Still and warm.

And red. Always red.

“No!” He shrieked and pushed Rachel to the floor, bruising her elbow on the Danger: Coffee Table along the way. The Danger: Couch exploded in a flash of raging crimson before she hit the ground. “No,” Atomik Lad whimpered, sitting among the Danger: Couch’s remains and his berserk field. “No.”

“John,” she said soothingly, reaching out.

“No!” he yelled, recoiling from her. “You can’t!”

“John.”

“I’m sorry.” His eyes shut tightly to force tears back.

“John.” He felt her hand on his shoulder.

“Rachel!” He jumped away, tears openly streaming down his face.

“Sparky, it’s okay.”

“No, get away! It’ll kill you, I can’t control it. Please.”

“John, calm down. Your field isn’t there,” she said, approaching him. “It’s morning now.”

Atomik Lad covered his face. “I’m sorry. I, I thought. Last night.”

“Shhh,” she wrapped her arms around him. “You’re shaking.”

“I thought. I thought you were trying to touch my Field. I’m sorry about this. I’m sorry about what happened.”

“Oh, Sparky,” she whispered. “Don’t worry about it, okay? This isn’t a big deal.”

“I nearly killed you.
Again
.”

“We’ll work it out.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you should start looking for a nice normal guy who doesn’t have some kind of uncontrollable energy field of death.”

“John. I love you.”