Numbers (19 page)

Breeze left and Candi stood and hesitantly walked toward the
closed door.
Can it be that simple?
She wished, but didn’t hold out much
hope. It took courage to open the door but she did, stepping inside his
bedroom.

The sight of a mostly naked Hero left her mouth dry. He had
a lot of muscles and had really filled out since their youth. His chest was
broader, so were his shoulders, and he was much darker skinned. The sunshine
had given him a golden hue that looked really good. The towel wrapped around
his waist dipped low, revealing more muscles spread from his rib cage to the
top of this towel.

“What are you doing?” He spun, dropping a pair of jeans on
the carpet.

Speak
, she ordered, but no words formed. He was
beautiful. It did funny things to her body and she understood. She wanted to
touch him all over, explore him. She ached from the need.

“Candi?” His voice came out gruff and harsh. “Get out.”

She stepped farther into the room and closed the door,
sealing them inside. He might run. She wouldn’t allow it. He’d have to throw
her out of his way to leave his bedroom. That would mean having to touch her.
That was something he didn’t want to do. She leaned against the cool wood.

Her gaze lifted to his face. He was furious. She accepted
that. Breeze had made some really valid points and her own anger surfaced. Rage
was one emotion she had learned worked to her advantage at times. She’d
survived hell, just for the chance of going after the ones responsible for
927’s death. He was alive and they were in the same room. He should want to
hold her as much as she wanted to be in his arms.

“My pup isn’t a pup anymore.”

He growled. “Don’t call me that.”

“That’s right. You’re Hero, an adult male.” She stared at
his chest, at his arms. “So strong and tough.” She met his glare. “At least you
look that way, but you’re a coward.”

His mouth dropped open but he recovered, snarling. “What are
you doing, Candi? Do you want me to attack you?”

“No. I want you to stop running as if this is a game of
chase. We played that as children. It’s not fun right now.”

“I’m not playing games. You need to go to the women’s dorm.”

“I don’t belong there. I belong with you.”

“You don’t know me anymore. I’m not the same.”

“Let me get to know you again.”

“The past is behind us.”

“You lie now? That’s a trait of a human.”

“It’s not a lie.” He seemed insulted.

“We are our past. It shaped who we’ve become.” She tapped
her chest. “I lived to be with you, and then I survived after that horrible day
so I could make the ones responsible pay for your death. You were in every one
of my thoughts. Did you forget about me? What we were? All the years we spent
sharing our space? Deny it, and I call liar.”

He growled in the back of his throat.

“Tell me that you never think about the future we could have
had if that day hadn’t happened. Try to picture how it would feel to kiss and
claim me. I think about it often.” She openly studied every inch of his body
that she could see. “I hurt to touch you.”

“Fuck.” He spun away, giving her his back.

“That’s a crude way to put it, but that too.”

He snarled, spinning to face her again. “I can’t do this. It
was too hard to lose you the first time. It took me years to put my life
together and find peace over what happened after you died.”

“I’m not dead.”

Some of his anger faded. “I’m grateful.”

“I’m more than grateful that you’re here with me. It’s a
miracle and a gift. You’re trying to throw it away. How can you do that? All we
ever dreamed about was being allowed to be together without anyone stopping
us.” She glanced around, and then pointedly regarded him. “No one is here. It’s
just us. This is our chance.”

“I’m not the same. Too many things have happened. You’re not
the same.”

She grew silent, catching the pain in his last words. “If I
hadn’t allowed that feline to mount me, would you still be across the room, or
would you be holding me? Be truthful.”

He looked away. “I don’t know.”

It injured her heart, hearing the broken tone of his voice
when he rasped the words. She’d hurt him so deeply that it might be impossible
to forgive. Grief wrenched at her so strongly that she was grateful to be
leaning against the door.

“Talk to me. Please? Tell me what you’re thinking and
feeling.” She’d already told him why it had happened and how she’d suffered.
Now he needed to tell her.

He paced the small space between the bed and the closet, staying
away from her. He finally stopped and snapped his head up. “You were mine. You
knew it would kill me inside so why didn’t you just let me die?”

She understood. “It would have torn me to pieces if they’d
brought a female to you and if you’d mounted her, but after I thought about it
for a while, do you know what I finally realized?”

“What?”

“You’d help me heal that pain once they let us be together.
We’d have each other to console. I knew I was the one you wanted, not someone
else. I thought you knew the same about me.” She fought tears. “I knew you’d
hold me and make me forget everything but you. It’s what we always did for each
other. Our love was too strong for them to break, no matter how hard they
tried.”

Tears shone in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away.
“We were young.”

“In years maybe, but we grew up fast there. They didn’t
treat us as children.”

He took a deep, shaky breath. “I don’t know how to get past
this.”

A memory flashed of when they’d been kids. He’d endured a
beating when they’d taken her away for a medical checkup. He’d thought they
were going to hurt her and had fought to protect her from the techs. She’d
returned to their space, and it was the first time he’d been chained to the
wall. He wouldn’t even look at her, had just snarled.

He’d snapped at her with his fangs when she’d tried to hug
him, snarling for her to go across the kill-zone line on the floor where humans
belonged. Even after they’d let him go, he’d refused to go near her. He’d slept
on the floor instead of sharing their mat. He wouldn’t speak to her. She’d
cried and pleaded, but nothing had worked. Then in desperation, she’d come up
with a plan. A plan that might work as well today as it had then.

Hero just needed space. He couldn’t think with Candi
invading his home. She had refused to leave so he needed to. The only problem
was that she blocked the door. He refused to touch her. It would be too much,
and he couldn’t handle it. Not right at that moment.

“Why don’t you go in the bathroom and get dressed?” Her gaze
lowered down his body. “It’s too mean to stand there in front of me when I
can’t touch you.”

He noticed the way she looked at him and fought his natural
responses. Just thinking of sex reminded him that she’d given herself to
another male. It was ingrained in his mind, burned there from the years of pain
he’d endured from it. He would have taken a thousand beatings rather than have
her step inside their cell with the stench of another male all over her. To
know someone else had kissed her and stripped her bare killed his sex drive. He
growled, his rage rising fast. He could handle anger better than the pain.

He bent and snatched up his jeans. He even had the sense to
remember to yank a shirt out of the closet. He stormed into the bathroom and
locked the door, needing that barricade against her. He’d forgotten underwear
but it didn’t matter. He dressed, his actions stiff and jerky. He stood there
when he was done, not willing to face her just yet. He stalled for a while by
washing his face and brushing his teeth. He even picked up a brush to comb out
all the tangles from his wet hair.

He unlocked the door, took a deep breath. He had to make her
understand that he needed time to think. She had allowed the male to mount her,
thinking she was saving his life. He just had to work that information into his
mind longer so the pain could dull a little. It was just too fresh. He stepped
out and glanced at the door where he figured she’d be. She was there all right,
and utter shock slammed into him.

Her borrowed clothing from Medical was in a pile at her
feet. Her legs were bare all the way up to mid thigh where one of his discarded
tank tops now covered her body. Her arms were above her head, stretched high.
He barely noticed that since his shirt gaped open on her sides, the large
armholes revealing a lot of skin from her hips upward. He noticed then why her
arms were up. She’d used two of his belts to secure her wrists and the ends of
them were closed in the top of the door.

“What—” He couldn’t even comprehend why she’d do that.

“You didn’t have chains, but I’m restrained here all the
same. They are thick enough that I really had to push to get the door to close.
They are really stuck.” She bent her knees a little, hanging there when her
feet left the floor. “I’m not going anywhere unless you free me.”

“Why would you do this?” It agitated him. She’d effectively
restrained herself.

“It worked before.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I chained myself to the wall. Remember? I thought about
tying myself to your bed this time but figured you’d leave me there. You can’t
get out of this room unless you touch me.”

“Oh hell.” He growled, took a few steps forward, but then
stopped.

She grinned. “You had that same amazed, yet dismayed look on
your face when you woke up on the floor and found that I’d chained myself up
the way you’d been.”

“I had to call the techs in to unlock the restraints.” He
remembered. “I should have left you there. Nobody wants to be chained to a
wall.”

“You stopped being angry with me.”

A jolt of amusement shot through him, ruining his foul mood.
He’d forgotten that she had a way of getting into predicaments that left him
laughing. “What if I left you there?”

“We’re on the third floor. It’s not like you can just climb
out a window. The door is the only way out.”

“I could jump down to another balcony until I reach the
ground,” he teased.

She straightened her knees and flatted her bare feet on his
carpet. “You could, but you won’t.”

“What makes you so sure of that?”

Her smile faded as she licked her lips. “You won’t. It would
bother you, thinking about how eventually my arms are going to start to hurt.”

He closed his eyes. “Candi…”

“Look at me,” she whispered. “They took your pride away that
day and embarrassed you in front of me. You thought I’d see you as the animal
they claimed. I showed you that we’re the same, and there was no reason for you
to feel that way. You didn’t think any less of me, seeing me chained to a
wall.”

He opened his eyes and the dark mood returned. He just
wasn’t sure what to say. She spoke before he could.

“I took something from you by the choice I made. I really
did it to save your life. I know I hurt you. I’d do anything to take it back if
I could.” She paused. “I’m at your mercy. Leave me here or touch me. You have a
choice now.”

“Your mind doesn’t work correctly.”

“That’s the politest way anyone has ever accused me of being
nuts. I’m okay with that. I spent a long time in an asylum when I was sane. I’m
due some bad choices now.”

She could drive a male insane. He advanced. She needed to be
set free. He kept back, avoiding touching her directly as he gripped one of the
belts. He tugged, but the leather band was really wedged in between the door
and the jamb. He frowned, pulling harder.

“That’s not going to work.”

He glanced down. She was too close. He could smell the
shampoo she’d used in her hair, knew she’d brushed her teeth with something
minty, and underneath that, her feminine scent called to him. It always had.

“Why not?”

Mischief made those beautiful eyes of hers sparkle. “I might
have chosen the two belts with the thickest, strongest buckles that stops them
from sliding through the door. You’re actually going to have to move me and
then open the door to slide them off the top. Why do you have so many belts?
Isn’t one enough?”

“I only left you alone for five minutes.”

“I have a quick mind.”

He remembered that about her too. She was always the
mastermind when they played pranks. He’d been the one with the strength and
height to put them into motion. There had been the time she’d used loose
threads from her clothes to braid a thin string. She’d tied a piece of meat on
it and then had him lift her up to hang it above the door from an old nail. Dr.
C had come in on his daily check, and she’d casually mentioned that a spider
was over his head. The doctor had looked up and cried out like a female. He’d
realized what it was and glared at both of them. It had been funny. She knew
Dr. C feared the eight-legged creatures.

There were a lot of good memories. Warmth spread through him
as he continued to stare down at her, flashes of their time together coming
back. Some of the drugs Mercile had tested in his system had made him hurt so
she’d had him lie with his head on her lap while she sang softly and played
with his hair. She’d tell him stories that distracted him from his suffering.

He examined her features. She was his Candi. He could see
some changes. A few lines marred her skin near her eyes and mouth. His
attention lowered and his cock stiffened. She had filled out in her chest. The
soft-looking mounds of her breasts were clearly defined through the thin
material of his tank top.

“You’re going to have to touch me.”

Her voice came out a little husky and he growled. He wanted
to feel her. He opened his hand without thinking, almost touching the skin that
was revealed over her ribs. She was too pale and looked so soft. She arched her
back, as if to encourage him. It unsettled him. He lifted his gaze to stare
deeply into her eyes.