Once A Bad Girl (18 page)

The service came to an end, and everyone got to their feet and clapped. Lottie had to grab the back of the pew in front to hold herself steady. She couldn’t look at Josh, not at the moment. Not until she got her thoughts in order.

Getting married was a long way away from a few weeks of crazy sex. It meant joint bank accounts, arguing over the TV remote, changing her name from Spencer to Blakemore. It meant trust and honesty and babies. Babies. Oh, god.

She had to tell him about David. It couldn’t wait.

‘Josh,’ she said, tugging on his arm. ‘Josh, we need to talk.’

He bent down, pressed his lips to her cheek. ‘Yes, we do, but later. Okay?’

Then he was making his way to the other end of the pew and shaking hands with the groom, and another chance had gone. She watched as the two of them chatted, as Josh gave the bride a kiss on each cheek, and thought what an utterly stunning man he was.

Would he still want her after she told him the truth? Maybe not. But it didn’t matter. She had to trust him, to trust herself and her instincts. Josh was a good man. A decent man. He’d understand. She wouldn’t let herself think otherwise.

Josh turned round and beckoned to her, and she got to her feet and sidestepped along the pew and into his arms. ‘François and Delphine are having a party down at the café. They’ve invited us along.’

‘Brilliant! Though I have to warn you, I don’t speak a lot of French.’

‘Don’t worry. I have no intention of letting you talk to anyone.’

‘But…’

He looked smug. ‘I’m going to make you sing instead.’

A couple of hours later, Josh leaned back in his chair outside the café and watched her pour out a love song as François and his bride slowly rocked together in the middle of the street. She was singing for them, but it felt like every note was for him. He’d give them this one last song, and then he was taking her home. He’d had enough of sharing her for today. All he’d done for the past month was share her. Right now, he wanted to get her alone more than anything. He was done with holding back.

The song wound to an end, and Josh shot to his feet, and strode over to the band. He took the microphone from Lottie and chucked it at the guitarist.

‘You’re practically glowing,’ he said, as he took her hand and led her away.

‘Isn’t that what they say to pregnant women?’

Josh felt his heart go into a mild state of panic. Not a worried panic, but a half-hopeful, excited panic.

‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘I’m not.’

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Well. Good.’

‘Hmm. Josh, can I tell you something?’

‘Anything.’

‘Okay.’ She linked her fingers with his and they strolled along the street together. No cars were passing along it today. Everyone was packed into the café, drinking champagne and eating too much. She took a deep breath. ‘You remember I told you about my brother?’

‘Of course,’ Josh nodded. ‘David.’

‘Well,’ she said clearing her throat and not looking at him. ‘When he had his accident, I was in the car too. He was giving me a lift.’

Josh slung an arm round her shoulders. ‘I know.’

‘You do? How?’

‘Your dad told me.’

She slumped against him. ‘How long have you known?’

‘Since that afternoon in the pub.’ Josh gripped her tighter. ‘Remember?’

‘Wow.’ She rubbed her hands over her face. ‘But you didn’t say anything.’

‘Was I supposed to?’ Josh pressed a kiss to her temple, pulled in the soft coconut scent of her hair. ‘I figured if you wanted to tell me about it, you would. And now you have.’

‘Yes,’ she said faintly, as if she couldn’t quite believe it. ‘Can we go home now?’

‘I thought you wanted to explore the village.’

‘I do. But I want you more.’

‘I think that can be arranged.’

They rode fast, neither of them talking, though the final hill was a bit of a struggle. Halfway up, Lottie gave up the fight and opted to push. Josh still had plenty of go in his legs, but he coasted back down to join her, enjoying the anticipation, the two of them close, but not touching. Just being together, knowing that soon they’d shut the bedroom door and lose the rest of the world. The narrow road cut through the middle of a vast orchard, the trees heavy with bright-green apples.

And then he looked at Lottie, and realised that the rest of the world was already gone.

She stopped, resting her bike against her hip. ‘Do you trust me, Josh?’

Josh stopped too. ‘Why?’

‘Answer the question. Do you trust me?’

Josh took her hands, lifted them to his mouth and tasted her skin. Sweet. Warm. The sunshine had kissed her shoulders, her cheeks, making her eyes look even brighter. He’d seen her try so hard not to cry in the church, sensed the emotion welling up inside her. Because it was welling up inside him too. He didn’t want to ask her yet. But he was going to. ‘With my life.’

She smiled coyly. Then she took the handlebars of her bike and wheeled it through a gap in the wall and into the trees. Josh shook his head, and followed her. For a little thing she moved fast. He found her bike propped up against a particularly big tree, and leaned his against it. ‘Lottie? Where are you?’

‘You have to find me!’ There was a naughty little giggle, and then an apple flew out of nowhere and hit him squarely on the shoulder.

‘Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to throw your food?’ He bent down, picked up the apple and bit into it. The flesh was firm, sharp, delicious. Where was she? A few steps further in, and he found one of her shoes. Then another. Oh, she wasn’t, was she?

Her dress swung from a low-hanging branch. Josh wrapped his hand around the hem and pulled it free. He slung it over his shoulder. ‘Charlotte Spencer, you are a bad, bad girl.’

She stepped out in front of him, and his whole body went hot. ‘I know,’ she said softly. ‘But it’s okay. Because I’m with you.’

‘We might get caught,’ he pointed out.

‘You said you trusted me.’ She tucked her bottom lip in, slowly let it go, and Josh couldn’t suppress a shiver.

Her hands moved to the straps of her bra, minty green lace with ruffled edges that pushed her breasts up high and round. He’d spent most of the morning trying not to make it too obvious that he was staring.

Didn’t need to be discreet now. ‘Take it off.’

She eased the straps down until they curved round her elbows, then cupped her breasts in her hands.

Josh exhaled slowly. ‘Lottie,’ he said, everything that he felt, everything he wanted loaded into that one word. He looked her straight in the eyes, those wonderful, violet eyes that had captured him from the first moment.

She pulled down the lace, setting one full, pale breast free. Her nipple was already dark and hard, a sure sign that she was as turned on as he was. And suddenly there it was. The right moment.

‘I…love you,’ he said, his voice cracking on the words. He felt as if his whole body might crack with it. It felt amazing.

Her hand stilled inches from her bare breast. She looked startled. Shocked. Sexy. For a moment, he thought she might run. He’d known she would run. Why had he pushed it? Why had he said it at all?

Then that hand moved over her breast, covered it, caressed it, and he watched as she gave herself up to the pleasure, to the feeling. He watched as she gave him everything, and the intimacy of it undid him. If he’d chosen to expose himself with words, she was choosing to do it with touch. He moved closer and covered her other breast with his hand, copying her rhythm, learning it, using it to make her whimper.

He’d never seen her so open, so trusting, and it made him feel 10ft tall. One hand went to the fastening of his shorts, fumbled, so Josh set his free hand to work with hers and together they untangled his erection from his underwear.

‘I want you to…’ He couldn’t get the words out. Why couldn’t he get the damn words out? ‘I want…’ he tried again. She’d asked him if he trusted her, and he did. He wasn’t asking for anything she hadn’t done before, but it wasn’t the doing, it was the asking that made the difference this time.

‘Your mouth,’ he managed finally. ‘Use your mouth on me.’

She smiled, pulled his mouth down to hers, touched her tongue to his. Then she sank slowly to her knees, opened her mouth, and took him in. Hot and soft and wet, the firm press of her tongue and gentle pull of her lips as she moved along his length was the most exquisite thing he’d ever felt. The bark of the tree was cool and rough beneath his palms as he locked his arms tight to steady himself.

Her rhythm was slow, teasing, arousing him beyond reason. He wouldn’t last much longer. He started to pull back, but she wrapped her arms around the back of his thighs and held tight. She sucked to the end of his erection, pulled her lips together until she kissed the tip. ‘Don’t you dare,’ she said, glancing up at him, desire flashing hot and clear in her eyes. Her hair was mussed, her cheeks bright.

So there, in amongst the apple trees, where anyone could catch them, he let her make him lose it. She took her time about it, building him almost to the peak then slowing down, until finally he dug his fingers into her hair and hurtled into a brutal climax.

Leaning back against the tree, Lottie rubbed her hands over his bare thighs and watched his erection start to soften. He was still wet from her mouth. And he was stood under an apple tree with his shorts round his knees, one forearm planted firmly against the trunk, his face buried against it, his chest heaving with the effort of pulling in air.

And he’d told her he loved her. Moving forwards onto her knees, she eased his boxers and shorts up over his thighs, lifted them over the tight curve of his backside and gently tucked everything away. She knew she had to say something.

She knew what she had to say. It would only take a drop of courage. The words were right there, on the tip of her tongue, waiting for her to get them out. She so desperately wanted to get them out.

He lifted his head, shook it a little as if trying to loosen something, then flashed her that killer smile. He pulled her dress from his shoulder and dropped it on her head. ‘Better put this on,’ he said. ‘Before we get caught.’

Lottie pushed to her feet. ‘We won’t get caught.’

‘How do you know?’

‘I met the bloke who owns this place in the café, Henri. He told me we should stop off and pick ourselves a few apples on the way home. All the workers are at the wedding. There’s no-one here.’

‘And you didn’t tell me this before you stripped me naked in public?’

‘Not naked,’ Lottie pointed out. ‘You kept your t-shirt on. Anyway, I asked you if you trusted me, and you said yes.’

‘Hmm.’ He grinned. ‘Would this be a good time to mention that you’re flashing your nipples at the world again?’

Lottie rolled her eyes and hastily tucked her bra back in place then pulled on her dress. It didn’t seem to fit. Why didn’t it fit? Glancing down, she realised that in her rush to get dressed she’d put it on back to front.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Josh said, handing her one of her shoes. ‘It won’t be on for long. You’re going to beg me to ravage you as soon as we get home.’

‘You’re pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?’

He lifted her hand to his mouth, kissed her fingers. ‘Only because I’m right.’

They rode home in silence, dumping their bikes by the back door and sprinting upstairs, without even bothering to shut the door behind them. Lottie stripped as fast as she could, Josh did the same. They didn’t touch, but they watched each other get naked. The look on his face made her feel like the most desirable woman on the planet.

His body just made her hot and wet. This man was in love with her. In love. With her. Nothing else mattered. Nothing but here, and now. The past had been horrible, but the future held nothing but the promise of happiness.

She scrambled back onto the bed and Josh climbed on top of her, covering her with all that heat and strength. He set himself between her thighs. And then he was inside her, and it felt so magical, so absolutely right that there weren’t words any more. There was only the two of them, and the heat, and the thud of the bed against the wall. She didn’t tell him she loved him, but she felt it in every cell of her body, and she gave it to him with every beat of her heart.

The next morning, Josh brought her coffee in bed and said ‘I think we should go and visit my mother.’

Lottie took a much bigger mouthful of coffee than she’d intended. The burning hot liquid scorched her tongue until she surrendered and spat it back into the cup.

Josh raised an eyebrow. ‘I didn’t realise my coffee was that bad.’

‘Awful,’ she teased. ‘Like gritty bathwater.’

‘I’ll have you know that’s the finest Italian coffee money can buy.’

‘No it’s not. It’s instant from the jar in the cupboard.’

‘You got me,’ he smiled, but it was a cautious smile, a worried one. ‘So, are you up for it? She’s staying at her apartment in Paris at the moment. If we get going early, we’ll have time to go sightseeing afterwards.’

‘Absolutely,’ Lottie nodded, putting her cup down on the side table and getting out of bed. She grabbed a clip for her hair and scooped it up on top of her head, ignoring the odd chill settling over her skin. ‘Ten mins. I’ll be ready.’ She rushed into the bathroom, turned on the shower and stepped under the spray before it had a chance to get warm.

Her teeth and skin protested but she pretended to be tough, squeezing lemon shower gel into her palm and lathering herself as the water warmed up. When Josh slipped in alongside her, she smiled up at him and rubbed her soapy hands over his chest, his shoulders, his body as familiar as her own now.

Six weeks ago, a month ago even, she’d have been bursting with excitement at the prospect of meeting Marlene Blakemore. A real-life film star, the woman who had owned all those couture gowns she’d so carefully catalogued for the sale, the woman who owned all the memories that belonged to those dresses.

But now things were different. This was a big deal. This was serious. She knew what Josh had lived with, had a pretty good idea about what his relationship with Marlene was like. She wasn’t sure she could come face to face with the woman and keep her anger in check.