Once and Always (Women of Character) (15 page)

Anna acknowledged he was right,
but she'd always been too aware she was Martin's illegitimate granddaughter and
while it hadn't mattered to Martin, it had to her. Back in high school, amid a
frenzy of parties and proms, she'd kept quiet about her background as she'd tried
so hard to fit in. "Sometimes I think I'll wake up and find out this has
been one big joke. Maybe I'm still eleven and just going into foster
care."

"This is no dream,
Annie," he said soberly.

"When Martin died and the
responsibility of the ranch was suddenly thrust on me, I wasn't prepared for
it." She'd wanted someone to lean on.

"When you're thrown a curve
you learn to deal with it." His mouth looked hard and Anna knew he was
thinking about the way he'd left town. He blamed Martin and he blamed her.
"Instead of being angry at the change in circumstances, be glad we're
going to bring the ranch back," he said, turning to her. "People will
come here again for quality horses. They won't forget the Barlow name."

"Sometimes people have short
memories," she said dryly, looping the reins up through her mare's bridle
so she didn't trip. She moved to stand beside Tyler, knowing Spirit wouldn't
wander far. "I'll be the first to admit I hate change."

"Nothing is static." He
lifted a brow. "Think about where you were five years ago and where you
are now."

"I was here, of course, with
a full riding and training schedule and a fairly successful career." But
she'd been alone. The few relationships she'd had, she'd let die a natural
death. Anna wondered now if she'd really tried to move beyond her first love.
Beyond Tyler. Anna stared at the familiar shadow of dark beard, the once
reckless, loving eyes now tempered by time and experience.

"Where do you see yourself
five years from now?" His voice held a challenge.

She laughed at the unexpectedness
of his question but inside a small bitterness welled. If he'd asked her that
six years ago, she'd have said they'd be married, have kids and horses, their
own ranch. She'd wanted it all. "My dreams aren't the usual career woman's
plan," she said blithely, stalling.

"It doesn't have to be
anyone's idea but yours―whatever makes you happy."

Martin had always wanted more for
her than her simple dream of kids and marriage. He hadn't wanted her involved
with Tyler or any of the local boys.

"You're free to do whatever
you want, Annie." Tyler stepped close and lifted a hand to her cheek, then
his fingers speared into her hair. She felt that touch through every fiber,
each muscle and sinew resonating with feeling. As she looked into his eyes she
became very aware of his heat and scent. Right now, she knew what she wanted,
and it wasn't talking about long ago dreams. Want for Tyler speared into every
part of her.

"Maybe you'll decide to find
a cowboy to fill your dreams."

She held perfectly still,
concentrating on the sensation his fingers created as he cupped the back of her
head. Tingles moved down her neck, and she despaired at her own vulnerability.
"I'm not waiting for a cowboy to come knocking on my door and make me
happy." Defiant, she pushed back slightly from him.

"You're smart. Depending on
others to keep you happy leaves you open to disappointment."

"Smart or realistic?"
she murmured. Anna had a hard time deciding, almost mesmerized by Tyler's
closeness, his eyes serious and intent. She wanted to be in his arms, as crazy
and insane as that idea might be. Her fingers flexed as the thought leapt into
her brain.

As if he read those thoughts,
Tyler pulled her. Anna lifted her arms, encircling his neck. It felt good to be
this close to him again. . .crazy, wild and abandoned.

They couldn't go back, but perhaps
they could grab a little bit of time and caring for themselves. His head dipped
toward her, his breath warm on her cheek, and Anna turned the unmarred side of
her face to him. She wondered if she'd melt right then and there. She wanted
him close and that confused and delighted her. How could she be afraid and yet
yearn for the man in the same instant? She remembered the touch of his mouth,
the way it had made her feel and forget. Heat rose another notch between them.
She was a woman with needs, and those needs spoke strongly when this man was
close. Was it merely memory playing her or was it real feeling for who they
were today, two people who had been hurt?

She tipped her head back and
looked into his eyes, enjoying the brush of his lean and work muscled body so
close to hers. An intensity of heat moved through Anna as her breathing came
fast and hard, slipping past her control.

The attraction deepened, sucking
her in. She wanted more from this man. She'd had a small taste of his kisses
since he'd returned, and she couldn't help but wonder how much he'd be willing
to give. Would he want to be the cowboy at her door? She reached up and pulled
his head down, momentarily satisfied when his mouth met hers, but all too soon
wanting more. Despite the wanting, she felt stiff, conscious of her scarring.
No man had been this close since the fire, the very idea had made her queasy.
She closed her eyes now, not wanting to see the awareness of how her face
looked in his eyes. For the moment she could pretend she was the same as any
other woman being kissed by an attractive man. Tyler. She groaned deep in her
throat.

His arms were hard around her,
then his hands cupping her jeans, bringing her closer to his heat. Touching him
aided the explosion of her senses. Anna felt incredibly needy, her hands
trembling as she moved them up his chest, glorying in the hard muscle, the
chest wall that moved as rapidly as her own. He was more muscled than six years
ago, his body hardened by experience and time. He grasped her face between his
big palms, pulling her mouth from his chest where she was intent on pressing a
line of kisses, holding her as he dropped his mouth to hers once more.

Finally, Anna came up for air,
drawing in deep gulps of it, looking around, the trees brilliant with green
leaves just budding, the sun warm on the new grass. The enticing bed of ferns
just a stone's throw behind them.

"Annie," Tyler muttered.
He pulled her over toward a big rock and he sat, opened his legs and pulled her
between them and her body began to shake with reaction. She had to get a grip
on herself, her emotions, but control seemed a long way off. With a small
sound, she accepted the truth that she was just as attracted to him as she
always had been. Maybe she'd never stopped loving him. That made her stomach
muscles cramp, but she couldn't sort it out right now.

Anna leaned forward and delicately
traced his mouth with the tip of her tongue. His hard body was against hers,
the grass a carpet under their boots. They could drop the short distance to the
ground. Anna read the same thought in his eyes. They complimented each other,
heating each other to boiling point, but beyond that what did they really know
about each other anymore? Would she regret taking Tyler as a lover. . .again?

His hands moved under her
sweatshirt, up her ribs until the breath came fast between her lips. He pulled
it over her head, flinging it behind him. Then his hands moved to the buttons
on her shirt and slowly, one by one, he undid them. Anna held her breath,
afraid to move, hardly daring to believe she was contemplating going through
with making love with Tyler on the top of this summit, in front of God and
everyone. She felt nineteen again, anxious and hardly able to wait to be close
to Tyler.

Almost in slow motion, she watched
her shirt fall at her feet. Her brassiere of thin straps and lace, covered very
little. His gaze heated her as his fingertips caressed her skin. When his mouth
replaced his fingertips, she thought surely her legs would collapse. With hands
that shook she unbuttoned the remainder of his shirt and pushed it back from
his shoulders. His collarbone felt hard beneath her palms, the light dusting of
hair on his chest hiding nothing of the lean muscle beneath the skin.

"Tyler," she whispered.
"Tyler." His mouth swallowed her words, the seduction of his lips
took her thoughts, but she gave them willingly.

The grass was springy beneath
their bodies, cool until he rolled and brought her on top of him, careful of
her bandaged arm. She lay sprawled across him, but he held her close, their
bodies naked from the waist up. Anna sat up and kicked off her boots. Tyler
pulled her back, undid the button of her jeans and worked them down her hips,
the denim rough across the skin of her legs as he pushed them down her ankles.
She helped him, then tugged his own jeans down. As she pulled her lace panties
down, she lost her balance with them twined around her ankles and she fell on
him with a whoomph, laughing, but he caught her and pulled her tightly against
him, his boxers the only barrier between them, and really no barrier at all.
She rubbed against him, closing her eyes to concentrate on the sensation,
letting it rocket through her. The air swirled around them, and it was foreign
and yet familiar to have the warm breeze on her naked backside.

Tyler's hands cupped her hips and
pulled her close. He bumped against her and she pulled down the waistband of
his boxers. She looked down at him and caught her breath, then she sank down,
feeling him, clenching her teeth in agony, the pleasure so great and so
expected, yet unexpected. Tears sprang to her eyes and she buried her face in
his neck, feeling the clench of his legs as he thrust upward and she met him, all
thought leaving as she allowed her very essence to be lost in the moment. As
the sun beat down upon her head they burned together, just like it was old
times, their bodies once more cradled by feathery ferns.

Ω

Tyler felt like he'd run a
marathon, but the lazy movement of Annie's fingers on his scalp was hypnotic,
calming him on the inside. For a moment, he wanted to remain like this forever,
relaxed and at peace, as if this was how it was meant to be. The pines towered
above them, forming a canopy where the sun filtered through, speckling Annie's
bare skin as it cast shadows on the grass. He touched her skin, ran his palm
over her shoulder, watching the movement of his fingers, fascinated by her
light tan, the hint of her ribs as she inhaled and exhaled. She was beautiful,
slim yet fit, her body strong and for that he was glad. She'd taken as much as
she'd given.

He was shocked that their
lovemaking felt like they'd never been apart. Their coming together had been
almost an agony of feeling, a torrent of memory shaking him up. Uneasily, Tyler
wondered how they'd lost this six years ago. Had they given up too easily as
Annie had suggested? Would they give up again?

Tyler closed his mouth on the
words that wanted to erupt. I want you in my life. How could he think they'd
have a life together? The past would always be in the way. Talking about it
would break the frail bond that existed between them. He clenched his jaw,
staring at the white clouds feathered like mare tails in the blue sky. He
wouldn't revisit the past, not when he wanted to ride out this euphoria another
few minutes. Let it go, Tyler, let it go…

"Why so grim?" Annie
asked, pulling her shirt around her shoulders as she sat up. To Tyler, it
seemed a defensive gesture. "Are you thinking this was a mistake?"

Tyler looked at her, her hair
tossed, feathers of it soft against her cheek. For a moment, she looked like
his Annie. . . the one he'd fallen in love with. The Annie he'd have done
anything for.  She'd always been perceptive about his feelings and thoughts,
and he was amazed that the passage of time hadn't changed that. Right now he
wanted to dodge the question, not really sure in his heart what had happened. .
.what was happening. "Do you think it is?" He reached for his
clothes.

Annie watched him intently, but
Tyler didn't want to talk about it. He wanted things to go back the way they
were before they'd made love. He didn't know where they were going, and he
hated going anywhere without a road map, without a destination in mind. He felt
like he'd been blown off the map. He'd deliberately put her out of his mind for
years, for Gods sakes, why this instant reconnection as if a day hadn't passed?
Dammit, he felt as rattled by her as when he'd been twenty-one. His body
remembered her.

"It's a mistake if we don't
care about each other," she said slowly, as if choosing her words.

The emotion in her eyes was like a
punch in the gut. He saw her vulnerability, yet her wariness.

"We parted so abruptly back
then I think there's left over feelings we've got to deal with. Maybe we needed
to do this," she added, waving her hand over the area where they'd made
love, the ferns crushed into the earth. "There's nothing wrong with
revisiting that residue of caring. But maybe this chapter needs to be closed so
we can now move on with our personal lives."

Impatiently, almost angrily, Tyler
thrust his shirt buttons through the holes. He didn't want to think of it as
some kind of closure, but he didn't see how they could go forward either.

"Can't you talk to me,
Tyler?"

He turned to her. "Annie, the
past is dogging our every step. I can't forget my father or that he never got
over what happened. Neither one of us can forget but we need to work together
for the livelihood of the ranch."

"It will work," she said
almost fiercely. "Between the two of us we'll figure this out. As for the
rest, people will come around. They'll see you for the professional you are.
The ranch will once more be a success."

"Let's hope you're
right."

"They have to respect your
knowledge. And besides, you were born and raised here, that counts for
something."

Tyler couldn't help the mocking
laugh that escaped him. "It never did before. There's no reason to think
the town gives two hoots about a Stanton. Look at Tara Dakins' reaction to me
being here."