Authors: Julie Shaw
Reaching the landing, she realised she didn’t know where to go. There was one door to the left and two to the right, all of them closed. ‘Where are you, Melvin?’ she called.
The response was immediate and she almost jumped up in the air, dropping her bounty, as a door shot open just to her left.
‘Boo!’ Melvin said, chuckling at her startled expression. ‘Come on in, kiddo. I have to sit back down. My back’s buggered.’
Melvin’s laugh was disgusting, Josie decided, as she followed him back in. Like he had a throat full of phlegm that he needed to spit out. His feet were bare, and he had on some filthy, striped pyjama bottoms over which the dirty brown cardigan hung open. His face was wrinkled and, close up, she could see how much his greasy hair was matted. It was easy to see why the other kids teased him so much. He
was
mucky. Filthy, dirty, mucky. Like he hadn’t had a wash in a year. Josie didn’t want to go anywhere near him and flinched from his touch as she handed him his fags and her hand brushed his long, yellow-brown fingernails.
‘Hey,’ she said as he took them. She was anxious to be gone now. ‘Don’t forget you promised me a couple.’
She waited impatiently, blinking to try and adjust her eyes to the dim room. It was the same room you could see from the street and as she glanced towards the window she saw that, instead of nets and curtains like most people had, there was what looked to be an old blanket blocking out the daylight. It appeared to be held in place by nails and had been cut up the centre so it could be moved apart, like proper curtains.
‘I promised you one, Titch,’ Melvin corrected her, as he passed her a Woodbine. ‘Here you go.’
He set about lighting one for himself and immediately had a coughing fit. ‘Oh fucking hell, this is fucking murder on my back,’ he spluttered.
Josie regarded her single cigarette, which felt not quite enough. Despite her haste to be gone, the smoke wreathing between them gave her an idea. ‘Can I smoke this one here, Melvin, and then take another one with me?’
‘I’ll think about it,’ he said, passing a lit match towards her. ‘I might. If you keep me company for a bit.’
She puffed her own fag into life and drew on it. She didn’t feel quite so queasy now. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘I’ll stay for 10 minutes, but that’s all. Me mam will be looking for me if I’m any later.’
‘Saw ’em coming to take your brother off earlier. Is it true then, he’s being locked up?’
Nosey bleeder, she thought. Trust him to already know that. Always peeking out of his bleeding window, minding everyone else’s business. How did he know so much anyway? He lived a long way up the street from them. Yet he did. Somehow, Melvin seemed to see everything.
‘Not locked up.’ She corrected him. ‘Just gone to like a boarding school, me mam said. He’ll be back after Christmas.’
They both smoked in silence for just long enough for Josie to begin to feel uncomfortable. She’d finish up, she thought, and get out of there, back into the daylight. She was just looking for somewhere she could stub out the cigarette when she noticed that Melvin was now struggling to take off his dressing gown, his cigarette clamped between his lips, smoke blowing in his face. ‘You’ll freeze in here if you take that off,’ she told him. ‘Have you got an ashtray? I don’t know what to do with this.’
‘Just use the floor, kid,’ Melvin told her, grinding his own out against the floorboards with his slipper. ‘I’m back into bed, me,’ he said. ‘Can you give us a hand getting this off?’
Happy that he wasn’t expecting her to hang around any longer, Josie started to pull the sleeve of his dressing gown in an attempt to help pull it from his shoulders.
Never in a million years did she see it coming.
Some time later, Josie let herself out of the smelly house. White-faced and sickened, she silently walked to her own house and, refusing her dad’s offer of food – her mam was out – she went through the kitchen to where the bath was. After scrubbing herself till the water went cold, she went and told her dad, who was now parked in front of the telly, that she had a belly ache and was going to bed.
She counted out the steps up to her bedroom, numb with shock. No thoughts. Not yet. She couldn’t think.
Dear Mam (and say hello to the old man I suppose)
Well, it’s been a week and I’m settling in okay. There’s some right fucking divvies in here though, and they think I’m mental. I’ve made some friends; especially one called Billy and guess what? My other mate’s called Vincent! Ha, and I always thought you was the only cow daft enough to give a son a name like that. (Only kidding.) Hope you’re all well and thanks for the ciggies and chocolate. I could do with some more stuff though, Mam. I don’t suppose you could nick me a radio from somewhere? (Only fucking joking, sir, I know you read my letters.) Can you send me some photos as well, for my room, and ask our Lyndsey if you see her, if you can have a Jimi Hendrix poster to send me. I’m not wasting a stamp on her, but I’ve put a letter in here for our Titch, hope she’s okay. The other day, me and Vincent got caught pinching biscuits from the kitchen. It was a right laugh; you should have seen the fat cook woman chase us. She caught up with Vincent and pulled his hair, I nearly pissed myself laughing. We both got put on ‘no privileges’ for it, but it was worth it. It’s too boring if you don’t have a laugh. It’s a massive place this, wait till you see it, it’s like a big country manor. You’ll feel as common as muck when you come down. It’s fucking freezing though; even the fucking cockroaches are wearing overcoats. That reminds me; when you come see me, bring my big coat. You know, the one I would have worn to school if I had ever gone. Ha-ha. Right, Mam, I’m off now, it’s nearly lights out and I know I’m very clever, but I haven’t learned how to see in the dark yet. See you soon.
All my love, Vinnie xxxxxxxxxxx
Alright Titch
Thought I’d drop you a line seeing as how you’ll be missing me torturing you by now. Ha-ha, only kidding, I hope you’re okay and you better have cried for ages when I left. It’s ace here, I might even stay. (Joke.) I hope you’re staying out of trouble. I’ve heard that the girls’ approved school is miles worse than here, can’t have you getting sent off as well. I’ve met some good lads here, but I’ve had loads of fights as well. Tell the boys that I’m giving Bradford a good reputation, and let Brendan know that I’ve started boxing so I’ll be able to knock him out when I come home. I’ve asked me mam to send some photos, but don’t let her send one of you, I don’t want fucking nightmares on top of everything else. Ha-ha, just kidding, Titch. My mates were laughing the other day when I was telling them about you. I told them that you always say you’re strawberry blonde and not a ginner. See, even they think you’re a funny little fucker. Well I’m getting off now, Titch, and I don’t think you’ll be allowed to visit with me mam. Write me a letter back though, with all that going to school like a little swot, I know you can write.
All my love, Vinnie xxxxxxxxxxx
June read Vinnie’s letter to anybody who would listen. She had it with her, in her handbag, at the Bull.
He’d only been gone for two weeks and she had been working herself up into a right state waiting to hear from him. ‘He’s punishing me, the little bleeder!’ she’d moaned to Jock the week before. ‘Either that or he’s narked at you.’
‘Narked at
me
?’ Jock had answered. ‘What have I done?’
June looked at her hulk of a husband. Took in the baggy suit trousers, the greying shirt – with its familiar tramlines of braces – the equally greying hair, that had once been the same flaming red of his two younger children, the bulbous nose, the bulky middle … took it all in and considered where to start. ‘Nothing,’ she’d replied irritably. ‘Exactly that.
Nothing
. You couldn’t even be arsed to wave him off when he went!’
‘Oh, that’s right,’ Jock had shouted then, ‘blame me, you always do.’ He’d shook his head dismissively. ‘I can read the lad like a book, June. He’s making you sweat for not putting up a fight for him, that’s all. He’ll write, don’t you worry, and when he does, it’ll be to whine at you for summat, just like it always is.’
Jock had been right. Not that she’d ever dream of giving him the satisfaction of hearing it from her. In fact when the long white envelope had plopped through the box that morning, she’d pounced. As soon as she saw the Brighton postmark across the top, she’d swiped it up from the mat and stuffed it down her nightie so that she didn’t have to share it with the miserable git.
Still hadn’t, in fact, and would only do so when she felt like it. After what he’d said about his own son, it was no less than he deserved. She had it now though, in her bag, just as she’d had since she’d got it. She’d been dying to get it out and parade it down the Bull.
Which she’d already done – they’d been in there an hour now – but the more pissed she became, the more often she would get it out to dissect.
Listen to this,’ she said to Maureen now. ‘Oh, he’s such a funny little bleeder …’
Maureen was June’s best friend – she had been since they were both in their teens. And also her relative, since she was Jock’s sister. She was like June in so many ways, but unlike her in the important ones; she was older and wrinklier, and, since she no longer bleached her hair like June did, a lot mousier, despite the amount of slap she optimistically trowelled on. She crushed out her fag, drained her glass of bitter and banged it down on the bar. ‘June, I’ve heard it 20 fucking times. All right,
yes
, the lad’s a comedian. Now put that bloody thing away and let’s have another drink, okay?’
June stuffed the letter back into her bag. Maureen didn’t understand. How could she? She was only Vinnie’s auntie, after all. And probably jealous, June decided, because her own kids were thick as pig shit. She drained her own glass and flicked her hair and, turning her back on Maureen, smiled sweetly at the drunk propping the bar up next to her.
‘Wanna buy a lady a drink, Bobby?’
He turned and snorted at her. ‘You’re no fucking lady.’
June rolled her eyes, but she was only mock-annoyed at him. No, she wasn’t a lady – not that he’d know the difference – but she was still getting a drink out of him, one way or another. ‘So,’ she said, ‘are you getting the drinks in or not? Cos if not, you can fuck off and fart next to somebody else.’
Maureen’s laugh exploded out of her. ‘June! You can’t say that!’
June threw a withering glance at her sister-in-law. ‘Can’t I? I just did. If he thinks he’s standing here, dropping ’em, without buying us a couple of drinks, he’s got another think coming.’
Bobby grudgingly paid for two more halves of bitter, much to the amusement of Donald, the landlord.
‘You’ve certainly got a way with words, June, I’ll give you that,’ he commented drily, as he scooped up the money that Bobby had scattered on the bar.
June winked at him. ‘Flattery will get you everywhere, Don,’ she told him. And though the comment was a throwaway one, she meant it.
Donald had run the Bull a good few years now, and she’d known him for all of them. As she would – it was her and all of her friends’ local. It was the hub of the Canterbury Estate community, the Bull; the place where deals were clinched, plans were made and affairs started.
Donald was married, but he was also an incorrigible flirt, and June – having a soft spot for him – always enjoyed his attention. It would usually take the form of something more than just a wink or two, as well. Not tonight though. Maureen might be her best mate, but she had her loyalties – she’d grass her up to Jock in a flash. All it would take would be one little argument, and then she’d say anything to drop June in it with her brother. No, tonight she’d behave herself. No harm in trying to blag a few free drinks though.
‘So,’ said Maureen, who didn’t seem finished with Vinnie after all. ‘Did he write our Josie too? Bet she’s been missing him like crazy.’
June nodded. ‘Wrote us both.’
‘Aww, I bet she was happy, the poor mite.’
June considered this. ‘You know, come to think about it, she was a bit funny when I gave her it. A bit narky.’
‘Narky? Why’d she be narky?’
June shrugged. ‘I don’t know. She’s been miserable since he left – course she has; I know she’s been missing him. They’re two peas in a pod, those two – but when I gave her it, she didn’t even seem to want to look at it. It was only cos I made her that she did read it out. And then the soppy little bleeder started crying halfway through.’
‘Aw, bless her, June. You really think that’s any wonder?’
June stared into her glass. No, it wasn’t any wonder really. Of course she missed Vin – they both did – but, well, it just felt like she’d been hit by a ton of bricks. Hit by his leaving way more than she’d expected.
‘I know,’ she said to Maureen. ‘I know it’s hit her really hard, but, I don’t know … she’s really not herself – she’s been walking round like a fart in a trance. Even Jock can’t sort her out – and her being such a daddy’s girl, as well. I don’t know if she blames him, but it seems like it – she doesn’t want to know him. Even gave him a slap the other day – cheeky little git that she is.’
‘A slap? What on earth for?’
‘For nothing. I swear I don’t know what’s got into her. All he did was try and get her to sit in his chair with him to watch the racing. Now that’s not like her, is it? She loves her dad.’
‘No,’ Maureen agreed. ‘That’s not like her at all. But give her time; it’s only been a couple of weeks, hasn’t it? Have you written back to him yet?’
June sighed. ‘Not yet.’
‘Why ever not? I’d have thought you’d have done that the same day!’
‘I know. And I want to. It’s just so hard knowing what to
say
. I mean, he’s all happy and that, talking about when I come down and visit. But I can’t, can I? Old Saggy Tits made it quite clear – there won’t
be
no visits. Bastards. Don’t they realise? A lad needs his mother! And I mean, they might, mightn’t they? She did say about weekends home at some point, so they might. But you know how these things work. There’s no chance if he doesn’t keep his nose clean, is there? And what’re the chances of that happening, Mo? Zero. He’s probably playing up already, if I know our Vin, the stupid little bleeder. Pound to a penny. Otherwise I would’ve had a call.’