Out of The Box Awakening (14 page)

“Mom, it is less than an month away…chill!”

“Sorry, Lainey, I am just being a mom. I love my kids and just wish you all were close so we could see each other every day.”

“We love you, too, mom! Quit being a baby!”

Dalton hugs me tight. “Mom, you know that I won’t be able to swing coming in for Christmas, but I will call and text you. Malaysia is so far away, but I love my job and hope to get back to the States sooner than later.”

“Son, I am so proud of you and I understand. I am not happy that you can’t come for Christmas, but I certainly understand. Christmas won’t be the same without you.”

“We can Skype, Mom! Have you ever used Skype?”

“No. I will have to get Lainey to help me, but that sounds like a plan!”

Then they are all off and headed home. Ash and I head back to the house.

“You okay, honey?”

“Yes, just a little sad. But Christmas is just around the corner.”

“Sounds like I need to give you some relaxation therapy when we get home!”

Oh yes—that’s just what I need!

When we get back home, Ash tells me to go change. “Being in your sweats will make you feel better, Liv. Go change and meet me in the music room”.

I change, and immediately I feel better. There’s something about sweats and how comfortable and secure they make you feel. I walk into the music room and Ash starts playing the piano. He plays some classical music and asks me what I would like to hear.

“I love classical music, Ash. Anything you want to play is fine with me!”

He pats the seat and motions me to sit on the piano bench beside him. I guess I look like I am going to start crying. “What’s wrong, Olivia?”

I tell him that I am just sad that my kids have left and that I have so much to sort out over the next few weeks.

“I’ve been putting all of this mess on the back burner, and am going to have to face it now. Our things are going to be delivered. I need to find a storage space and find a place to live. My husband wants a divorce, so I am going to have to find a lawyer. I have to support myself now. I’ve never had to make these kinds of decisions, and I am literally freaking out about now. Ash, what do I do? I’m so damn confused! I’m sure when Lainey and the boys find out they’re going to insist I move back to Houston, and if the truth be known, I probably should. I don’t belong here, this isn’t my home and I can’t stay with you forever. You shouldn’t…”

Ash cuts me off mid-sentence and pulls me into his arms. “Olivia please don’t make a decision like that just yet. I’ll admit, I have my selfish reasons for wanting you to stay and not go back to Texas. I care so much for you, and while I know Houston is your home and that you miss your kids, I want you to at least think about staying in Highland Park—with me. You don’t have to decide right now, but I want you to know that I’ll take care of you. Look, this is all new to me, and I just know that I haven’t felt for any woman the feelings I have for you. I’ll support whatever you decide to do and I’ll help you any way I can, but please, please don’t leave; not yet anyway.”

He has tears in his eyes and I begin to cry.

“Olivia, please don’t cry, I want you to be happy—I want to make you happy. I can make you happy.”

“Ash, you do make me happy, happier than I’ve ever been. I just don’t know what to do. What is the right thing to do? I don’t know. My mind is going in ninety different directions. If I follow my heart, it tells me that I belong here with you.”

He kisses the top of my head and in a broken voice whispers “Then follow your heart, Liv.”

“What do I do about finding an attorney? Alan wants a divorce and I have no idea what to do or where to begin. I thought when you married, you stayed married till death do you part, not till someone finds someone else”

“Liv, I will help you through all of this. Just don’t leave me, please. You trust me, don’t you?”

“Yes, Ash, I do, but I don’t want to complicate your life with my mess. This isn’t fair to you. You didn’t sign on to raise me and take on my problems. I need to find a place to live and need to start paying my own way. Alan has always paid the bills and handled everything, so I need to find my own way, now. I am so scared! I’ve never had to do this. I know I can, but I am just flat-out scared. Maybe I should just pack up and go back home. At least I have a house in Houston.” I tear up and Ash takes me into his arms.

“Liv, you don’t need to go back to Texas. You have nothing to worry about. I’m here for you. You have my word, honey. Count on me. I’m not going anywhere and please tell me you won’t either. I need you Liv. You are what I’ve waited all these years for. Don’t leave honey. Stay. Let me show you how good our life can be. Just give it a chance, that’s all I ask.”

“Well how do I tell my kids?”

“You just have to let them know. Tell them and be honest. That’s the only way, Liv. Don’t sugarcoat this. That will only complicate things.”

We sit on the piano bench and he continues to play a beautiful song.

“Ash, promise me that you are not just feeling sorry for me. If that’s the case, I can make it on my own. I don’t want to be someone’s charity case.” Ash reassures me that I am not a charity case. I continue, “I know I need to find a place to live. I need to see what I have to pay for. God, I don’t even know if my car is paid for. Alan has taken care of all the bills”

“Olivia, you don’t have to move out… stay here and we can figure this out.”

“Ash, I have always been taken care of and look where it’s gotten me. I don’t even know where to begin. But I do know that I need to find my independence. It doesn’t mean I don’t care for you, but what happens if things don’t work out with us? I can’t be left like this again. I need to find my own way. How do I find an attorney?”

“Liv, I know lots of attorneys, but I think it would be best if the referral comes from Sarah. She and I know the same people, so if she can refer you to an attorney, I think that would be best, given the situation. Talk to her tomorrow. I will also call her in the morning. That would be less complicated. We can set you up with someone who can handle this.”

“Thanks, Ash, I would appreciate that. I have no idea how to handle this”

“I’ll call Sarah in the morning and we’ll get an attorney lined up. I suspect Alan will be serving you with papers, soon, so you’ll need to be prepared.”

“I hate to have to dump my problems on my boss. I am not used to sharing my problems with anyone. I know she would be more than happy to help, but this is so embarrassing. I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.”

“Olivia, we are here to help. You would do it for me or for Sarah, so what does it matter?”

“I just feel like a failure, Ash. What have I done to make this happen? What didn’t I do? Why has my marriage fallen apart? What did I miss?”

“Honey, you didn’t do anything! Alan screwed this up. Please, don’t put this on yourself. This is all his doing. You held your vows, did what you should have done, raised your beautiful kids, you were a doting wife, and it was his choosing to step out of the vows and cheat. Don’t blame yourself…promise me?”

“I promise and I do trust you, with all my heart.”

Monday morning, I find I am actually looking forward to going in to work. I get into the shop and Sarah tells me that instead of having me do decoration installs she would rather me stay in the shop. “I am going to hire an intern for the holiday season from the Harrington College of Design. I have a few interviews scheduled for today and would like you to sit in on them and help me hire someone. I may just have the intern we choose continue through the school year. The more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized that you are more of an asset to me in the shop than doing the decorating in homes.”

“Of course Sarah—whatever you feel is best. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

The first interview is a girl named Emily Evans. I realize she is only the first interview, but she seems like the perfect fit. She is a darling gal with stellar credentials and grades. She wears very little makeup, but is stunning with her long golden brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Sarah
feels the same, but we have three more interviews today. At the end of the day, we both still feel Emily is our gal, so Sarah offers her the position. She is so excited and thanks Sarah for giving her the opportunity. She tells us that she can start on Wednesday. I am equally thrilled!

After we close the shop, I look at Sarah, feeling uncertain. “Sarah, have you talked to Ash today?”

“Yes, he called me earlier. I am so sorry you are going through this. I’ve lined up three attorneys for you to talk to. Here, let me get you their cards. They are all very good.  Abby Linderman is probably gonna be your best bet, but you should meet with all of them and see who you feel most comfortable with.”

“Sarah, I promise that this won’t interfere with my work. I need this job badly and I won’t let my personal life affect this opportunity you’ve given me.”

“Olivia, please, take whatever time you need. Your job is safe—no worries.” That makes me feel so much better and I’m glad that Sarah understands. She continues, “I don’t know if Ash told you, but when I first opened the shop, my husband was out of work. I worked my ass off and spent so much time getting my little shop off the ground hoping to make a good living from it. I went out of town to market and worked seven days a week, ten- to twelve-hour days. During that time, my husband felt that I was neglecting him, so he took a walk outside our marriage and it got him a big fat divorce. I just couldn’t forgive him. We had no kids; so it was much easier than what you will go through, but I’ve been there, Olivia, and I understand, believe me. It hurts when someone you love and think you know turns out to be a total stranger. And how they can even think of sleeping with someone else is beyond comprehension. What about all of your furniture? Isn’t it on its way here?”

“Yes, I am waiting to hear from the movers any day now. I have no idea where to store everything. I’ll be glad to get my car, so I don’t have to depend on Ash for transportation. He has been so accommodating and understanding. And by the way, Ash did not tell me that you were divorced. I am sorry for you. It is hard, isn’t it? But you have done so well for yourself. You should be proud that all your hard work has paid off.”

Around lunchtime, a uniformed man comes into the shop and talks to Sarah.

“Is Olivia Petersen here?”

“Yes she is, why?”

“I have some papers for her. Can you please get her?”

Sarah comes to the stock room where I am and I can tell by the look on her face that this is not good. “Olivia, there is a gentleman out front who has some papers for you.”

I feel hyperventilation coming on. Sarah gives me a hug and tells me to take a deep breath. “Deep breath! Go sign for the papers so he can leave. Come on, you can do it! I’ll be right by you.”

I sign for the envelope and my hand is shaking uncontrollably. I take the envelope and stuff it in my purse. I don’t want to look at it now. I just want to get back to work and forget about this. That’s not really possible, but it sounds good.

“Olivia, are you okay? Do you need to go home?”

I laugh hysterically “Sarah, I have no home—remember? My home is on its way here!”

We both start laughing and laugh until we are crying.

“What I really want right now is to just get back to work,” I tell her. “That is what I really need right now.” About that time, a customer comes in, and I thank God.

We stay really busy the rest of the day. I don’t take a lunch, and have not called or texted Ash. I’ll tell him tonight. On my way home from work, a song comes on the radio. “Everybody Plays the Fool.” Given the events of the day, I lose it and cry all the way home. When I pull up at the house, I see that Ash hasn’t gotten home yet. Good! I can get inside and fix my face and look like I haven’t just been served with divorce papers and been crying. I head into my bathroom, run a brush through my hair and fix my makeup. Fortunately, my eyes aren’t swollen; they’re just in need of a minor fix up. When I hear him pull into the garage and pour glasses of wine for us. I have pulled myself together. I look at him, and am amazed at what a beautiful, caring guy he is.

“Hey beautiful! How was your day?”

“Well, we were really, really busy. It was good. Oh, and I was served with divorce papers today.”

“Olivia, my God! Why didn’t you call me?”

“I’m sorry Ash. I just didn’t want to mess your day up, and I felt it could wait until tonight. Nothing you could have done anyway. I just signed for them and put them in my purse. I haven’t even read them yet. Sarah was there. We went for a coffee after I was served. Then we got so busy at the shop I put it out of my mind.”

He takes me in his arms and I lose it. I don’t want to cry, but I can’t help it. I show him the business cards Sarah gave me. He agrees that Abby Linderman is probably going to be the attorney I will be most comfortable with.

“You need to get in to see Abby tomorrow, Liv. Do you want me to take you?”

“I think I need to do this on my own, Ash. I have to start doing things for myself and this is as good a time as any to start.”

“Olivia, let me put on some music and make us something for dinner. You go relax. Take your glass of wine and I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“I don’t want to go into another room. I just want to be near you, right now, if that’s okay. Let’s cook together.”

My cell phone rings and I look at the caller ID. It’s Bradley. I look at Ash and he gives me the signal to answer the call. “Hey Bradley—what’s up”

“Mom—what the hell is going on? I just talked to Dad and he said y’all aren’t living together?? What the fuck? I knew something was wrong, but you said there was nothing wrong. You lied to me mom. What happened? We have a right to know. Why did I have to hear it from Dad over the phone?”

“Bradley, look, it’s complicated and I don’t think I can go into everything right now. Basically, your father apparently hasn’t been happy for a long time and doesn’t want to be married to me any longer.”

“Mom, what did you say to him? Why did he just leave?” Dear God, my heart drops fifty feet. I knew that my kids would just assume I had done something. I know Bradley doesn’t really mean it, but it sounds as though he thinks this is entirely my fault and is pointing the finger my way.

“Sweetie, I was totally blindsided by all of this. I had no idea he wasn’t coming home to me until I called him to ask when he would be in for Thanksgiving. That’s how and when I found out.”