Out of The Box Awakening (10 page)

He lies at my side and begins to tenderly kiss me again. I open my mouth to accept his tongue, and he softly licks my lips and starts to lightly suck on my tongue and on my bottom lip. Oh, my! I’ve never in my life been kissed like this, and my emotions are at the boiling point. I feel like I’m going to explode, and I plead with him.

“Ash, please!”

“What Olivia—Do you want me to stop? Just tell me. I will, if you’re uncomfortable. I swear. Just say the word.”

“Yes. No…Yes… I mean no! I Ummm, I feel like my whole body is on fire. Please, Ash, don’t stop! God this is amazing!” I can’t believe I am talking to him like this. It seems so right, so natural, but it’s wrong. It’s wrong because I’m married! As inhibited as I am, or thought I was, he makes me feel totally secure and whole.

He moves back down to that place. With every ounce of passion he has, he brings me to an incredible climax. My whole body shudders and shakes. I scream uncontrollably as my body explodes and I fall limp. He takes me into his arms, then, and I’m like putty, exhausted and drained, but completely satisfied. I have never in my life experienced anything quite like this.

“Liv, you are so damn beautiful when you’re body responds to me. I just could watch you like this forever.”

“Ash,” I respond, “you totally take my breath away, and you’re without a doubt the sexiest, most wonderful man I know!”

I feel his excitement, even though he is still in his jeans. My hand moves down to feel him and he moves my hand, telling me “Liv, honey, don’t. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable doing. You really don’t have to do this. I’m satisfied just knowing that you’re satisfied. It is all about you, tonight, remember? You are relaxed and satisfied, aren’t you?”

“Ummmm-hmmmm, very!” I whisper.

My confidence kicks in as I move up to my knees and sit beside him on the bed. My subconscious tells me that it’s okay to do this. I slowly unzip his jeans, and he quickly helps me slip them off. He’s got the most amazing body. He’s lean but muscular, tanned, and he smells out of this world. I can feel his reaction as I gently touch him. He comes alive with arousal.

He whispers and tells me in his sexy voice. “Liv, you’re in really big trouble now. You’ve now woken the sleeping giant!”

I laugh softly to myself, and think that it literally is the giant, in every sense of the word.

“Honestly, Olivia, if you don’t want to, or if you’re not comfortable doing this, I can take care of things myself… I can take matters into my own hands, you know…” I know he’s serious, but he makes me laugh. I tell him that I really don’t want to stop. He reassures me saying, “I have deep feelings for you, Liv, and I don’t want to rush things. This isn’t why I brought you into my bed tonight.”

My confidence is in high gear “Shhhhh…it’s your turn. I want you to just lay back and enjoy, now”

His body responds “My God!! You’re amazing and so, so beautiful Liv. This is wonderful, honey!”

After the pleasure he’s just given me, I feel completely at ease. He guides my hand and shows me what to do, and how to best give him pleasure. It’s strange how instinct takes over and I don’t even have to really think about what I’m doing. I’m not experienced with intimacy, in the true sense, but I’m receptive, willing to being his student. I can tell by the way he moves his body that he’s close to his climax. He’s breathing hard.

“Liv, honey, are you completely sure about this?”

“Yes, Ash, I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life!”

He lets out a moan of complete pleasure. I feel liberated and loved.

“My God! You have no idea how wonderful that was, Liv! Sorry, some of it went north…I sure didn’t mean for that to happen.”

He gets a cloth and wipes my neck. We both laugh hysterically. He kisses me softly, and asks me if I’m okay. I tell him that I am more than okay. Who knew that sex (or no sex) could be so satisfying?

“Liv, I really didn’t mean for this to turn into my pleasure. I set out for this to be all about you.”

“Ash, I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t want to. I promise!”

We lie together in his bed, his body secure against my back, and fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. I feel so complete. During the night, he strokes my head softly. I hear him whisper in my ear, “My God, woman. I’ve fallen for you bad…so bad. You complete me. No turning back, now.”

He thinks I am asleep, but I hear every word, and feel like I am coming back to the world…

I feel the same as he does…God help me!

The next few days are a blur. Alan has left me several voice mails, but I don’t call him back. What is there left to say? He found someone else and wants out of the marriage. He has broken our vows, and there is no turning back.

I tell Ash that I only want the kids to come in for Thanksgiving. I will just tell them that Alan has to stay in London. I think I can pull that off, and I don’t want to face telling them and spoiling Thanksgiving. I’d planned on emailing each of our kids to ask them to write down what they are thankful for and bring it with them. I’d planned on everyone reading their “I am thankful” notes at the dinner table during the celebration.

“That sounds wonderful, Liv. We each have our own reasons for being thankful. I am selfish with mine, so you’ll have to hear mine in private.”

Tuesday night, before Thanksgiving, Ash helps me get ready for the kids’ arrival. Tommy calls to let us know the band is booked to play in Highland Park the Friday after Thanksgiving, so we can all go into town and hear them play. I think my kids will enjoy that. The other three band members are coming for dinner on Thursday as well, so I am glad.

Wednesday night, Ash and I head to Chicago to pick my kids up from the airport and bring them to the house. We have food being delivered tonight, since Ash said I don’t need to spend my whole night in the kitchen. How thoughtful! I have decorated for the holiday, and have the dinner table all set. Ash has gone into his wine cellar and brought out some wonderful wines for us to enjoy. Everything is ready.

When we get to the airport, the first to arrive is Dalton, coming in from Malaysia. “Mom!” He runs and scoops me up into his arms. “Wow! New hairdo—you look awesome!”

I am so glad to see him. He looks so much like Alan, with his dark hair. So handsome. “Dalton, this is Ash Harper. His home is where we’re having Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Glad to meet you, Mr. Harper! Mom has told me nice things about you. Thanks for having us. You’ll probably regret it though.” He laughs, eyes glittering as he joshes Ash.  “Who is next to get in?” he asks.

I tell him that Bradley is next. He will be arriving in an hour, so we head down from the international terminal to the airline club to have a cocktail. Since Ash was a pilot with the airline,
we have privileges to get into the club. Dalton tells us all about his job, and Ash asks him how he likes Malaysia

“Much different from Texas, Mr. Harper, but I am adjusting. I love my job, so that makes it bearable. The cost of living is a lot less than in the States, so that’s a perk.”

We hear Bradley’s flight announced, and head out to meet him as he leaves the terminal. Once we see Bradley come into the lobby, Dalton and I hold up our Longhorn fingers and run over to him.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Bradley shouts. “Damn, Mom! You look so young! What’s up with the new ‘do?”

“You like?” I am so happy to have my boys with me. We introduce Ash to Bradley, and then we head back into the club to wait for Lainey and Kellan’s arrival.

“I can’t believe you got us all coming in within a few hours of each other, Mom. You rock!” Bradley says.

“Yep, your mom has a knack for the Internet and a way of making things happen, doesn’t she?” Ash says. He tells the boys how I have been cooking nonstop for the past week.

“Yep, that’s Mom! She’s a hell of a cook! I have really missed Mom’s meals,” Dalton says.

Bradley is quick to notice that I have lost weight. “Why are you so thin Mom? Are you trying to lose weight? Because you really don’t need to. What are you now, about a size zero? What’s up with that?”

I quickly divert the conversation to another subject. I certainly don’t want to go into that. Ash helps me by telling the boys about Tommy’s band, and lets them know we’re all going to watch him play Friday night.

“That is so cool!” Dalton says.

I tell the boys what a good band Tommy has, and that his band will be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner, then ask, “Did you bring your ‘I-am-thankful-for?’”

“I brought my thankful, and Bradley brought his wishfuls,” Dalton says, teasing. They both laugh hysterically.

I ask the boys about their love lives, and they tell me to chill.  “Mom, you know there is no one worthy of either of us…not in your eyes anyway!”

“Right you are!” I agree.

We hear the call for Lainey and Kellan’s flight and hurry over to their terminal. We see them and all run over to them screaming.

“Mommmmaaa!” Lainey screams. This is total bliss for me. Ash is smiling, and I am so happy. Despite all that is going on in my life right now, having my kids here is just what I needed. Ash puts his hand in the small of my back and I look up at him and give him two fingers on my lip as a sign of appreciation. He whispers in my ear “You are the epitome of beautiful…you make me so happy!”

As the kids run to greet each other, I give him a kiss on the cheek “Thank you, Ash, I couldn’t do this without you. You do know that, don’t you?”

“Nuff said Liv!”

Ash and I drove both cars to the airport. Ash and the boys are in the Mercedes, and I’m in the Range Rover with Lainey and Kellan.

“Nice ride Mom!” Kellan says.

“It is Ash’s second car. He lets me drive it.”

We head to their hotel to drop off their things, and then head to the house for dinner.

“Thanks for arranging everything, Mom“ Lainey says. “What would we do without you?”

Lainey is totally impressed when we pull into Ash’s driveway. “Mom—this is beautiful! Mr. Harper lives here all alone?”

I explain that he’s a widower, and that his boys are all grown and gone.

“Love that the two adjoining lots aren’t built on.”

I explain how Ash and Anne bought the adjoining lots to avoid building next to them.

As we enter the front door, I see a potted ‘mum and a basket of goodies.

“It’s from Reba, I bet,” Ash says. I open the card, and indeed it is. It says, “I am off to Atlanta to spend the holidays with my kids, but I wanted to express my appreciation to Mr. Harper and Miss Olivia. The cookies are for my boys. Happy Thanksgiving! With love, Reba”

I take the goodies inside. Tommy is thrilled.

“Damn! Reba’s chocolate chip cookies…she friggin’ rocks!” He tells us how Reba was always there for them. “She rode our asses hard to keep our grades up, but she always made us her famous chocolate chip cookies and had a cold glass of milk when we got home from school. I love her so much!”

I open the basket; inside are the cookies and a sweet potato pie. Todd moves over to take a cookie, and Tommy defends the plate. “Oh, no you don’t…these are mine!”

Everyone is at the house for dinner—my kids, Tommy, and all of his band members as well. It makes sense, since they are playing in town on Friday night. Tommy and his band have unpacked their van and take their instruments up to the music room.

“Gonna give us a concert later?” I ask

“We need to practice,” Tommy says, “but if you’re up for listening, we are up for a private show. Hell-yeah!”

We have a wonderful, easy dinner: wings, fries, and beer. My kids are so excited, and are enjoying talking with Tommy and his band.  The whole band has come—Tommy, Brian, Steve, Todd, and Brady are all here. Everyone is getting along, and Ash takes my hand and reassures me.

“Liv, I just want this to be the best Thanksgiving for you! I know you have worked so hard and it means so much that you’ve successfully brought all of us together. I just wish Wesley and Hayden could be here.”

After dinner, Tommy and the band head up to the music room to practice. We give them time to get set up, then we all follow up to enjoy some music. Tommy tells us that they are working on a special “acoustic, unplugged” session that they plan to record. They play some of their own songs, and then start to play some Bruce Springsteen easy-listening songs. Tommy sings, “I’m on Fire” in his sexy, raspy voice.

The kids are amazed at how incredibly talented they all are. Tommy signals for Ash to grab a guitar and join them. There are two stools in front of the microphones.

“Come on, Dad—get your ass up here and jam with us!”

Ash gets up and grabs a Chicago Cubs baseball cap off the bookshelf—it looks like that’s where it lives. He puts the cap on so it’s turned around backwards, and says, “Okay but you’ll be sorry! Just warning you.”

They begin. Stairway to Heaven. Oh my God! I haven’t heard that song in forever. Boy, does this song bring back memories.

Ash is the first to begin playing, and we are all stunned into silence. No one smiles, no one laughs or speaks. We all just sit in awe. Lainey and I are on the couch, and she scoots over close to me and puts her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her. My boys and Kellan are sitting on the floor in equal amazement. The absolute best song of all times is being played for us
in front of our very eyes. There are just no words to explain how beautiful this moment is. Reverent and respectful.

By the look on their faces, I sense that this song has a very special, emotional meaning for both Ash and Tommy. It looks like they’ve played this song together many times. The rest of the band is serious as well, each concentrating on their own instruments as they join the playing, which tells me the song has hidden meanings for them too.

When it’s time to sing, Ash looks over at Tommy and nods his head. Tommy is sitting on the stool beside Ash, with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He sings with his eyes closed, looking like he’s in pain through almost the whole song. As I listen to the words, I wonder if it’s Anne he’s thinking of when he’s singing. When the song is over, we all sit there, not knowing what to do. No one says a word.

At last, Lainey breaks the ice. “Dear God! That was beautiful, just beautiful, guys!”

They sing more songs, without Ash, who comes to sit by me on the couch. I whisper in his ear, “That was the most beautiful song, Ash. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.”

I can tell that “Stairway” does have special meaning; his remark, whispered back in my ear is, “Been a long, long time, Olivia…Tommy and I needed that. Geez!” He then kisses my ear. I hope no one saw that. Well, I wish they did see it—but just not yet.

Meanwhile Todd is gyrating and singing to Lainey, and she loves it! He stops singing and looks at me…

“Dammit, Olivia! Too bad your daughter’s got an old man! She could so fucking be the mother of my children! She is flippin’-ass hot!”

Kellan laughs and says that he is set on making her the mother of his children. Todd shrugs his shoulders and gives Kellan the thumbs up. Ash seems so at peace, seeing me happy. I feel incredibly happy, like a teenager with a secret boyfriend, having to keep my feelings hidden. Ash gets back up again. He and the band play some Beatles songs, which takes me way, way back into the ‘70s. Finally, Todd announces, in Todd fashion, that they’re tired, and asks which girl wants to go home with him. These amazing band members, full of tattoos and as brash as they come, are actually such neat, incredibly talented guys.

As the session ends, Ash asks me, “Well, what do you think? My boy and his band are pretty good, huh?”

“Your boy, his band, and you are pretty damn good!”

I can tell that everyone is pretty tired, so I casually suggest that the kids head back to the hotel. Ash tells them to take the Range Rover, so they can come back tomorrow when they’re ready.

“Sweet! Thanks Mr. Harper!”

We say our goodbyes, do hugs and kisses, and I can’t wait for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow, though I dread the subject of Alan and why he’s not here. I know it will come up. We’ve never had a Thanksgiving without Alan. I don’t want the kids to know anything about what has happened between us—not yet anyway. Dear God, just get me through the holidays and I’ll deal with that later.

Tommy and the guys come down after my kids leave. They head outside to have a few beers out on the patio. Todd follows me into the kitchen.

“I’ll be happy to help you clean up if you want me to, Olivia.”

“No, absolutely not, Todd! Go out and drink with the guys. Do you want a beer?”

“Is the pope Catholic? Hell-yeah!”

I get him a beer and we talk about the band and how everyone met.

“We’ve pretty much all been friends since high school, except for Brian.” Todd tells me that his folks were killed in a car wreck three years ago, and how the band has helped him cope and were there for him in very bad times.

“Yeah, Tommy is probably the best friend I’ve ever had. He was going through tough times after his mom died, so we bonded. I know that sounds really gay, but Tommy is a standup guy. I was an only child, so when my folks were killed, I was pretty torn up. I was really close to them both, and I regret like hell that I didn’t make more time for them. I still have Grammy—my grandmother— though. She lives close, and I always make time to take her to dinner. She loves Chinese food, so I take her out to eat at least once a month. When my folks died, Tommy was tight. He stepped in and helped me so frickin’ much. I owe him my life. I’d have drowned myself in alcohol if it hadn’t been for Tommy. He was at the hospital as soon as I called him, and didn’t leave me until after the funeral. Guess he went through all that shit with his mom, so he felt what I was feeling.”