Out of The Box Awakening (32 page)

“Well, that’s a first, Mom!” We take Bradley to get his rental car, which he’s decided to keep since they will need the extra vehicle. I tell Lainey that my Lexus arrived, so they are welcome to use that as well. I tell her that our things are all in storage, and we decide to take a day next week to go to the storage unit and have a look around. I haven’t been there since they delivered everything. Ash offered to go with me, but I just couldn’t face going through things and facing those memories. It’s funny how I’ve made do with the few things I have from my old life. Mainly my clothes. All the furniture, dishes, pictures and other material things seem so inconsequential now.

I would like to go and get the pictures. Lainey said she would love to have a picture day, and go through them. She promised to help me organize them, as I was never one to keep them organized by date or event. I found that it was all I could do to just put the envelopes in a box. Lainey, quite the organizer, promises me she will do just that.

Ash stands against the wall in the airport just looking sexy as hell, watching me with the kids. He’s smiling his ever-so-beautiful smile.

“You guys all go over there and let me take a picture!”

We all line up and he takes a picture of us with his phone. I’m beaming! Some random stranger walks by and tells Ash to get in the picture and that he’ll take one of us all. He hesitates at first, but the kids encourage him. “Ash, get your butt over here and let’s take a family picture with mom and her boyfriend!” Lainey chides. I remind Lainey not to post this on her social network. “You can’t be posting things like this until after the divorce sweetie.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re probably right, Mom, totally forgot about that. Speaking of the divorce, have you talked to Dad?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, we ran into him with Kelly, his girlfriend, at dinner the other night.”

“No! Really?”

“Yes, really! It was so awkward. Kelly said it was cool meeting. Ash and I…!” I dissolve in giggles.

“Cool?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what she said. I swear!”

“She said that we should all meet for dinner one night when y’all get in for the holidays.”

“Oh, I don’t think so, Mom.”

“That’s what we were thinking. Ash told them that they should call you guys and arrange to take you to dinner with just the two of them.”

Bradley growls, “OH, hell no! I have no desire to see him or his whore.”

“Bradley, please, don’t talk like that.”

“Well, she is a whore, don’t y’all think so?”

Dalton shrugs his shoulders nods in agreement.

“Well, just think about it. It’s up to you, and I won’t be mad if you decide to meet them. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. Just promise me you won’t be rude to your father if he calls.”

“Yeah, whatever!” Bradley says.

I have a feeling that when Alan does call, he’ll get an ear full from Bradley. He’s the most verbal of my kids and is always first to express his opinion. I can’t worry about that though. I’ve asked the kids to be nice, but I can’t control their feelings, nor do I want to.

In the late afternoon, after we get back to the house and drop off the luggage, we wrangle everyone together and head to the city for our Christkindlmarket evening. Ash has the driver, Rocco, come pick us up at the condo. He is promptly on time and arrives in a beautiful black limousine. He’s got a bottle of champagne for us, and some sparkling non-alcoholic bubbly for Lainey. We are dropped off in style.

The Christkindlmarket is far beyond my expectations. We see vendors selling everything from ornaments to beer steins. It is incredible! They guys find a spot to grab a beer and do whatever it is guys do, and encourage Lainey and me to go do what we do best, of course which is shopping…

And shop, we do!

Ash tells us to meet them back at a certain stand in two hours. “We’re going on a Chicago Architecture Foundation boat tour. It lasts about an hour and a half. After that, we have dinner reservations.”

The boat tour is fabulous. We go up to the top deck, and while it’s cold and windy, it is an incredible tour! The docent knows Ash, and makes sure we’re well taken care of and receive the Cadillac tour. Lainey, of course, is impressed with all the architectural wonders in the old Chicago buildings.

“Tomorrow, you and I will come back and do the CAF tour and some more shopping. You up for that?”

“Oh, Mom! Of course! I can’t wait!”

Ash has reservations for dinner at the famous Charlie Trotter’s. He’s had the boys bring sports jackets and leave them in the limo to wear at dinner. This restaurant is fabulous and world famous! In Ash Harper-style, he’s reserved the whole north dining room for us, which is private and exquisite! The owner and staff, of course, know him well, and we’re treated like royalty.

“Good evening, Mr. Harper! Great to see you again! Your room is ready…if you’ll just follow me.” The Maître D’ leads us into the private room. We walk past the crowd of customers who curiously stare as we walk by. I’m getting used to this royalty treatment thing. Ash is so in control of everything. It’s so nice to let someone else take care of the details. He has impeccable taste and everywhere we go, he commands respect. People love him and go out of their way to please him. My kids are duly impressed and Ash is the consummate host!

“Liv,” he murmurs as we’re seated, “I hope you don’t mind that I’ve invited Tommy, Emily, and the guys. I know this was supposed to be a night for you and your kids, but just thought it would be nice if everyone was here.”

“Oh Ash, no, of course I don’t mind!”

Shortly after, Tommy and Emily arrive. They are brought into our private area and they look absolutely adorable! I stand and introduce Emily.

“Lainey, Bradley, Dalton, Kellan, I want you to meet Emily. She and Tommy are dating.”

“And, your Mom hooked us up,” Tommy smiles and says.

Emily and Tommy both give Ash and me hugs. I’m elated that they’re here.

“Olivia, I hope you don’t mind if we intrude and hang out with you guys tonight.”

“Tommy, you’re family, for heaven’s sake! This is an awesome surprise. I’m so glad ya’ll are here! God knows, I’ve had my share of surprises today!”

“Yeah, Dad said he and your kids had a few up their sleeves.”

Tommy goes around the table talking to the boys and Lainey, catching up. Emily is right behind him, and he’s very attentive to her. It’s so nice to see they all get along and care about each other. Emily sits by Lainey and they strike up a conversation immediately. A few minutes later, the guys show up. I’m totally blown away, because they’re all wearing nice sports coats. Nice jeans, too! Todd comes up to me and gives me a hug.

“Damn!” I say, “You clean up well!”

“You think so, Olivia?”

“Yeah, something like that!”

“Olivia, you are too damn funny! And just to let you know, we don’t dress like this for just anyone. Matter of fact, I can’t remember the last time I wore a fuckin’ sports coat!”

“Todd, I am truly honored!”

The guys all give Emily hugs, and I can tell they are glad she came. Ash has ordered nothing short of the finest wine for us, and a non-alcoholic for Lainey. The sommelier opens and pours our wine. He does the same for Lainey’s. The first taste goes to Ash and he nods his acceptance of the selection. He pours Lainey’s and she signals her acceptance.

Ash stands and raises his glass. “I would like to propose a toast to us all. First of all, thank you all for coming tonight. It means so much! We are all so very blessed to have such a wonderful family that includes each and every one of you. I’m also happy and honored to have this most amazingly wonderful woman sitting next to me in my life, and I just want you all to know that I love her with all my heart. We were brought together in an unconventional way… a way that, unfortunately, has torn apart a family. I’m so sorry for the way this came about. We both had no control over this, but we were thrown together, and I am so thankful that we found each other. I think you all may know by now that we are an ‘item’ If not, then here’s your notice. We are an item! I love Olivia, and I can only hope she loves me half as much as I love her!”

Todd gets up and raises his glass. “Mr. H., I F-ing knew it! You have impeccable choice in women, and I couldn’t have picked a better one for you!”

“Hear hear!” Tommy says. He stands with his glass raised. “Dad, man! You don’t know how long I’ve wanted for you to find someone to make you happy, and I agree with Bert…ummm
I mean Todd…sorry, Olivia! Seriously, though, I haven’t seen my dad this happy in a long time. Olivia, you are without a doubt the kindest, most beautiful, most thoughtful lady, and we all love you so much. You share the love of music with Dad, and I think that is so cool! I hope you know that we’ve formally adopted you as our mom. Bradley, Dalton, Lainey, and Kellan, we hope you don’t mind!”

Bradley and Dalton get up to toast. “Tommy, guys, we don’t mind at all! We think she’s pretty damn special, too! Mom, Ash, we want you to know that as much as you think you were hiding your feelings, we did see you kiss her at Thanksgiving. So, consider yourself busted!” They all laugh. Ash and I just shake our heads.

They continue. “We, along with Lainey and Kel, agree that we haven’t seen Mom this happy in a long time, either. Just wanted you both to know that we give your our approval to continue being ‘an item’”

Brian, Steve, Brady, and Todd get up. They all have their arms around each other. Brady speaks for them.

“Ash, Olivia, what everyone has said is pretty much exactly how we feel. Olivia, you are by far the coolest chic ever, and we give you our total approval, which I hope you know means a lot. We don’t approve of just anyone, matter of fact…we’re pretty damn picky! Mr. H., we hope you know that you are one lucky dude. You’re our adopted dad and we just want you to know that we also support you coming out to us!”

We all laugh some more. Then Lainey and Kellan get up.

“Mom, Bradley and Dalton pretty much summed up our feelings. We loved Ash from the moment we met him. Never in a million years did we expect to happen what did, but if there was any man we would want for you, Ash totally fits the bill!”

Lainey has tears in her eyes and I am tearing up as well. Lainey says, “Hey! I’m pregnant…I’m hormonal, okay?” Kellan hugs her and kisses her tenderly. “Mom, Lainey said exactly what I feel. I’m not gonna cry, though. I’m not pregnant and I’m not hormonal, but I do second the emotion that everyone feels. We love you, Mom!”

“Okay, Olivia, your turn!” Todd says. He comes over to my chair, pulls it out, waving for me to stand. “Come on, say something!”

I stand up, feeling kind of apprehensive, but everyone expects me to speak.

“Ah Hmmmm! Okay, here goes…these past few months, well, to say the least, they have been something of an awakening to me. I agree with Lainey, that never in a million years would I have expected the chips to fall as they have. But I can tell you, sincerely, that I believe I have found my soul mate, and a wonderful extended family. I am so blessed and honored that you all have voiced your support. It means more than you know. I love you all so much, and I love this man with all my heart. At the risk of sounding corny, I’ll tell you that he takes my breath away and completes me.”

I am brought to tears and Ash gets up to hug me. “You see what a wonderful woman she is? God! I love her so damn much!”

Tommy and Emily get up and raise their glasses again. “To Dad, Olivia and all of us!”

Emily comes over to me and gives me a hug. “Olivia, if I can ever possibly have half as much of this with Tommy, I would give my life for it!”

“Emily, you will, trust me. These Harper men are absolutely the best!”

“Well, thanks for all you’ve done. I just want you to know that we are working on things. I’m trying to get past my hang-ups and hope to hell we’ll make it.”

“Emily, I have faith. You will!”

Ash has ordered for us all. We don’t have to look at a menu, because he’s taken care of everything. We have the most amazing meal. Dinner is brought in courses, and there are several waiters taking care of us. Alan was never one to take charge at dinner, so this is all new to me. It’s so nice to have a man who knows his wine and fine dining. I wish I could freeze this moment in time.

Realizing that I need to get Ash a Christmas gift, I pull Tommy over privately and pick his brain. “Tommy, does your dad have a twelve-string guitar?”

“No, he doesn’t, why?”

“Well, that’s what I think I’d like to get him for Christmas.”

“Really? That’s so cool! He’ll love that! What gave you the idea?”

“Well, to begin with, he’s very hard to buy for. I mean, what do you get a man who has everything?”

“Yeah, he kinda does have everything and is one to just go buy what he wants. I haven’t gotten him anything yet either. I was kinda thinking of getting him a gift certificate at the golf store. He loves to play golf and said he wanted a new set of clubs. Do you play, Olivia?”

“No, I don’t. I’d love to learn though. Listen; do you think you could go with me to pick out the guitar? I figure you would know a good guitar store and can help me pick out the best twelve-string.”

“Damn straight! I’d love to go with you, and I know the perfect place. When do you want to go?”

“Well, I’m open, so whenever you can go, I’d love it! You don’t mind?”

“Of course not! That’s an awesome idea and I promise, he’ll love it!”

We agree to meet up one day next week.

“I totally can’t believe you’re doing that. He’s gonna be so stoked!”

“Well, I certainly hope so! Like I said, he’s hard to buy for, but I thought that would be something he may like.”

“Oh, you have no idea! Best gift ever!”

I am so happy that Tommy likes my idea, and can’t wait to go shopping with him. After dinner, our limo takes us back to the condo. We are all literally stuffed after a wonderful dinner, and I make coffee for us all, as we stay up talking until really late. The guys are off tonight, so they come back to the condo as well. We talk about Christmas. Brian says that his sister is coming in from New Orleans to spend the holidays with him. I tell the kids that I would like to go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. They seem to like the idea.

“So, Lainey, think you can stay up for midnight mass?” Todd asks.

“I’m down, how about you?”

“You know, I‘ll probably pass. I don’t think I’m mass material and besides, I’d probably get my ass kicked out! Hell, it was all I could do to sit through Mass at Grammy’s funeral.”

“Well, I’d really like it if you would at least think about it.”

“Tell ya what, I’ll think about it, and that’s about all I can promise.”

“Good enough!”

The kids head out to go listen to music at a club close by. That leaves Ash and I alone.

“So, good night huh?”

“Oh, Ash! It was wonderful! You totally outdid yourself!”

“And, we came out, didn’t we? I think everyone is okay with us, don’t you?”

“Yes, I can honestly say that I feel totally good about it. I was worried, for some reason. You know how I am…“

“Yes, I know how you over-think things, Liv!”

“Now we just need to hope Wesley and Hayden will feel the same. Do you think they know?”

“No, honey, I honestly can say that I haven’t discussed us with them yet. The opportunity never presented itself, but I don’t see why they wouldn’t be happy and support us.”

“When are they coming in?”

“Well, I am thinking they will be in the day before Christmas Eve.”

I wonder what they are like. I know there is some dissention between them and Tommy, so I just hope it doesn’t carry over and affect the holidays. Hopefully, one day Ash will let me know exactly what happened between these brothers.

“So, tell me about them. What are they like?”

“Well, they are more like Anne. Reserved, military type. They have dark blonde hair and both are blue eyed. Hayden is taller, with a thinner build than Wesley. Quite different from Tommy, personality wise. Tommy is the teddy bear of the three. As I told you, Wesley and Hayden are fraternal twins, so while you can tell they are brothers, they aren’t identical. Good-looking boys, though. You’ll like them.”

“I’m sure I will. I just hope they like me.”

“Oh, without a doubt they will. After all, what’s not to like about you?”

“Ash, you’re just partial.”

“Damn right I am!”

I’m lying in Ash’s lap on the couch and he’s tenderly rubbing my arm. The couch faces the terrace and the view of the city and all the lights is amazing.

“It’s nice that our kids all get along—I mean the guys too. It’s funny how they all just immediately hit it off.” I say.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing tonight at dinner. It’s like they’ve known each other forever. I think Todd and the guys had fun, tonight. When I told them I was taking everyone to dinner and that they had to wear a sports coat, I wasn’t sure if they would want to come. I’ve never taken them all to eat at a place like we were tonight.”

“Yeah, I was surprised too. They all looked so nice! I know that’s not how they usually dress, but it was nice.”

“Liv?”

“Yes?”

“Not to change the subject, but can I ask you something?”

“Of course, Ash!”

“Do you go to a doctor for regular checkups?”

I laugh. “Why on earth would you ask that?”

“Well, first of all, it’s not funny. I just wondered. Do you have regular female exams?”

I realize he’s probably asking that because of Anne. Ellen told me her cancer was breast cancer, so I suspect this is a sensitive issue with him.

“Well, I haven’t had a regular checkup or pap smear in probably two years.”

“And a mammogram? Has it been that long since you had one of those, too?”

“Yes, at least that long. Why all the questions?”

“Well, I just think you should find a doctor here and schedule an appointment. Look, I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to be controlling or anything. I respect your independence, and please don’t take this the wrong way, hon. I just, well…I just…. Arghhhhh…how do I say this without it coming out the wrong way?”

“Ash, are you trying to say that you just want me to take care of myself because of what happened to Anne?”

“Honey, that’s exactly what I’m trying to say. Look, please don’t take this the wrong way. Anne wasn’t one to have regular checkups, either, and it totally took the wind out of me when she told me about her cancer. It’s something you never expect, and I would just die if something happened to you. I’ve finally found the woman I’ve been searching for my whole life, my soul mate, and I don’t think I could make it if, God forbid, something happened to you. We’ve never talked about our health. I have no idea if you even take any medications. We’re at a point in our relationship where we need to share that with each other, and know each other’s medical history.”

“Well, I’ve not thought about it, but you’re absolutely right. I do think we need to know these things about each other.” I think to myself that he is thinking long term about our relationship. He’s so damn level headed. “So,” I ask, “how about you, Mr. Harper?”

“I get my annual physical without fail, and no, I’m not on any medications, thank God. I take vitamins religiously, and try to work out as often as I can. There is heart disease on my side of the family, so I have regular checkups.”

“Well, I have no idea about my current health insurance. I would think Alan still has me on his policy. I just haven’t given it much thought, to tell you the truth. I’m hardly ever sick, so to be honest, it hasn’t been something I think about.”

“Olivia, I seriously think you need to call Abby and have her make sure. If you’re not on Alan’s policy, then we need to get you a policy. Just because you feel good and are so young at heart, you still need to take care of yourself. Please, promise me you’ll do that?” He rubs my face and kisses me lightly on the forehead. “You’re not mad at me for bringing this up, are you?”

“Ash, I’m not mad at all. You always are in control, in a good way I mean, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m the consummate procrastinator. I just don’t take my health seriously. I guess I think that if I’m not sick, things are okay. It comes with our age and the way we were brought up, I guess. You know—the old adage that you don’t go to the doctor unless you’re sick. But you’re right, and I promise, I’ll find a doctor and schedule a checkup and full physical. I do need to get my thyroid prescription refilled anyway, so it’s a perfect time.”

“ So you take thyroid medication?”

“Yes, that’s the only medication I take.”

“And you’ll schedule your Pap smear and mammogram?”

“Yes, I promise. One of the many things I love about you is your absolute level-headed approach to things. I’ll ask Sarah for the name of her OB GYN and will make an appointment.”

“You also need to find a general practitioner and to schedule a physical so they can do a thorough exam and testing. Okay? I can give you the name of mine if you want.”

“Okay. Swear! You have my word! God, I love you so much!”

“Oh, honey! You have no idea how much better that makes me feel. I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for so long, but was afraid you’d take it all wrong and I didn’t want to upset you. You’ve got enough on your plate without aggravation from me. I only want the best for you, and your health is so important to me. You not only owe it to yourself, but to your kids and the grandbaby that will be here very soon. If not for me, do it for them.”

He gets tears in his eyes. I’ve never seen him like this and don’t know how to react except to hold him.

“Look Liv, God willing, we have a lot of years left. I want them to be happy and healthy!”

Deep down inside, I feel so lucky. Alan and I never talked about medical issues between us. We only discussed medical visits and illnesses concerning the kids. I doubt he even knew about the meds I was on, nor did he probably care. He never once asked if I got my pap tests or mammograms, and I never told him when I went. I tried once, and he just dismissed it as not important. We just didn’t have that type of relationship, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be.

It’s really different having a man with a caring disposition. Having Ash care about my health and his is another first, and another awakening for me. As hard as it is for me to face, we are at a point in our lives where staying healthy and having regular checkups matters. I feel young, much younger than my years, and I consider myself to look young, but the fact is, I am looking at sixty, and really do need to take care of my body. Ash is 100 percent right. But, on the other hand, do I really want to know? Is it better to be preventative and proactive, or to just wait until the worst happens? I’m glad though, that Ash thinks enough of me to insist I take care of myself.

As much as I don’t want to look age in the face, it is happening. I shy away from the fact that it is just that. God! I don’t want to think about my mortality. I still feel like I’m a thirty-year-old woman, and these past few months have brought out feelings I’ve suppressed for way too many years. Somehow, I feel cheated that I’ve missed so much.

Can I make up for lost time? Ash certainly has made me feel more secure about myself, and I just hope that the years I have left can recapture those lost times. I’ve never in my life felt better about myself, I’m beginning to come into my time, and I just pray to God that he will give me this time to enjoy the years I have left. That I can spend these years left with this wonderful man! I make a promise to myself that I will take care of myself, for me, for my family, and for Ash. I think that he and I do have a future, and I will do everything possible to make sure I hold up my end of the bargain!

Sadly, our weekend has come to an end, and I have to get back to work. Lainey and the boys keep themselves occupied by doing Christmas shopping and touristy things. Ash has given them suggestions of fun things to do. Emily and I sneak out and are able to grab some lunch together, which hasn’t happened most of the holiday season, due to the workload at the shop.

“So, Miss Emily, how are things going with the two of you?”

“Very well, Olivia. We are officially an item, I guess you could say.”

“Social network official?” I ask.

“Yeah, we are. It feels so good now that we’ve worked on things. I’ve never dated a guy like Tommy. He treats me so well, and it’s such a good feeling to have someone who truly cares about you, no matter what.”

“Yes, Emily, it is, isn’t it? I’m experiencing some firsts myself. Ash is like no man I have ever been with before. Not that I’ve been with that many men! But, I feel much better now that everyone knows. It was hell having to hide our feelings, thinking the kids wouldn’t approve.”

“Yeah, Tommy and I talked about you and Mr. Harper. He told me that from the first time he met you that he thought you and his dad should hook up.”

“Hook up—you kids are something else. I guess dating isn’t something folks do anymore, its hook up, right?”