Out of The Box Awakening (4 page)

About 6:00 pm, Alan arrives at the house. I meet him at the door. He looks worn out, with his suitcase at his side and his laptop case slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, my sweet babe! How the hell are you?” he says.

I jump into his arms and feel so secure. “Alan… Oh my God! I’ve missed you so much!” All of a sudden, I forget that we’ve been apart for eight long weeks.

He takes me by the shoulders. “Damn! A new hairdo…you look hot, babe!”

“You like?”

“My God—you look twenty years younger! What made you change?”

“Well, Lainey and I had a spa day before I left, and she encouraged me to change my look. Her stylist did this and I like it…do you?”

“Yeah, I think I really do!” Enough said.

Alan goes upstairs and unloads his things. Within a few minutes, he is downstairs in the kitchen and I have gotten him an ice-cold beer and a glass of wine for myself, and have put out the snacks I have prepared.

“So good to be home—well, our home for the time being,” he says.

He asks how I like Highland Park so far, and how I liked my bath last night. I tell him that Ash was the perfect gentleman and that the bath in Ash’s bathroom was over the top.

“Maybe we can find a house with that type of master bath,” Alan says. “I figure we can start looking after the first of the year. Ash said there is no hurry, so let’s take our time and find the perfect house for us.”

I agree, and tell him that I would like to sit outside and have our drinks and snacks. He has showered, changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and he looks incredibly sexy. I immediately plant a huge kiss on his lips and tell him how much I have missed him.

“Damn babe…I don’t think you have been like this in a long time. We should be away from each other more often.”

I tell him that I don’t think we will be away from each other very often anymore—not since the transfer. “They won’t have you traveling anymore, will they?”

“Traveling wasn’t in the plan, babe. I think I am pretty much home-based now. No worries.” Well, that makes me feel better. The amount of time Alan spent traveling before the move was getting out of hand. It seemed like he was traveling 90 percent of the time, and the other 10 percent he was working.

We head outside and find a chaise lounge out on the patio. I place myself in between his legs and find peace just lying there with him rubbing my arms.

“I really missed our time together, babe,” I tell him.

He assures me that he feels the same. “Let’s walk out to the water,” he says. “Have you been out to the dock?”

“No, I haven’t been farther than the patio. I was so tired last night; it was all I could do to have a glass of wine and head up to bed.”

We stroll out to the dock and look at the lights and the beautiful view.

“Have you talked to the kids today?” Alan asks.

I had gotten so completely caught up in just being here that it had slipped my mind to check in. “No, I was waiting for you to get here so that we could call them together.”

“Okay. Let’s call them and let them know that Momma and Daddy are reunited.”

We call each of the kids. They are so happy that Alan has finally gotten home and that I am okay. Knowing how I dread change, they seem to say the right things to put me at ease.

“We have such good kids,” I say, after we finish.

“It is only because of you, Liv. You are the best mother. You raised them well.”

I smile, and think to myself that he feels guilty having traveled so much when the kids were young. It was tough, but I know he did the best he could. He was there for the boy’s baseball games when he could be. He was there to watch Lainey cheer at football games. We just somehow made it work. No regrets. The kids all turned out normal.

Alan asks how the packing up went, and apologizes to me for leaving me to do everything on my own. He was never a hands-on person. He depended on me to make things happen, and I did. He is not an overbearing guy. I love him for that.

I can sense that he is tired. He is fading in the chaise lounge. I ask if he is ready to go to bed.

“Yes, babe. I am beat!”

I can also sense that the romantic night I had planned has gone south.

“Ready to turn in,” he asks.

“Of course, babe. Let’s go to bed.”

Once we are in our room, I turn on the light and the music starts—sixties soul music. I am sure that Ash has programmed that just for us. Al Green starts singing “Let’s Stay Together,” and I am feeling the music. I slip into our bathroom, change into my sexy nighty and brush my teeth.

Alan pulls the covers back and motions for me to come to bed. “Babe, I am dog tired, but I want to make love to you. You have no idea how much I have missed you.”

I snuggle next to him, and he envelopes me in his arms. We kiss and just hold each other. His body goes limp and relaxed. Suddenly, I hear him lightly snore, indicating that he is done for the night. So much for a romantic rendezvous.

I find that I am tired as well, so we both fall into deep sleep and don’t wake until 9:00 a.m. the next morning. He rests himself against my back, and I feel him hard against my backside. He is not the romantic type. We usually just “do the deed” with little emotion. We have been married so long; I rationalize this is the way things are when you are so used to each other. Once we have finished making love, Alan lightly kisses me, then quickly gets up and heads to the shower. A little disappointed that I wasn’t included in his shower plans, I head down to the kitchen to get coffee and breakfast going.

“Sorry about last night babe,” he says, as he finishes his coffee. “You have no idea how tired I was. Work is really busy and I just needed a night to unwind.”

I reassure him that I totally understand, and suggest that we go into town tonight for a nice dinner.

We hang out in the den upstairs most of the morning, watching movies and cuddling on the couch. It feels so good to have him to myself. As I am beginning to doze off in his lap, his cell phone rings. He quickly gets up and tells me that he has to take the call—that it is work. I fall back into my dozing state and don’t think about how long he has been on the phone, nor do I know who he is talking to. He comes back in a few minutes, and apologizes.

“Sorry Liv, problems at the office.”

After we have both napped on the couch, I get up and make us a light lunch. Then we head out back to sit on the patio. It is so nice to have down time.

“So, do you want to go out to dinner tonight, or should we go into town and grab something to grill,” Alan asks.

“Well, I kind of wanted to go to dinner out, and maybe go and listen to some live music in town, if you are up for that.”

“Sounds good to me. Let me call Ash and see if he can recommend a place.”

I wonder if Ash is having a nice time with Tommy. He and Tommy seem to have a really good relationship. I miss my kids, and envy Ash the time he’s spending with one of his.

Alan returns and tells me that he is going to go upstairs and do a little work. I busy myself cleaning up our lunch dishes, and tell him that I think I will drive to town and do some shopping. “Want to go with me? We can walk around downtown and browse the shops.”

“Sure, Liv. Give me thirty minutes, and I am all yours!”

We drive in to town and find a little wine bar. We sit outside, have a few glasses of wine, and then walk around the quaint little shops. He seems content to do that. Usually, he is not one to do “girly things,” as he calls them. But he is going out of his way to accommodate me. I wish he could enjoy this, and not just accommodate or placate me, but that’s not in his makeup.

We head back to the house after a couple of hours. Once we get to the house, Alan surprises me and carries me upstairs to our room. We make love. Not our usual, but passionate and tender love. I wonder what has come over him, but I don’t give it too much thought. I am always over-thinking things, and I just want to believe he is doing this because he has missed me so much. We lay in the bed holding each other, which is out of character for Alan. I love to have him hold me—his hands and arms are so strong.

I suddenly wonder how long it will be before Ash will be coming home. I began thinking about him and wondering what he is doing.

Once Alan gets out of bed and goes downstairs, I get my phone and send Ash a text. “So, how is your weekend going?”

Within minutes, he responds, “Great—how are you? Why are you texting? Don’t you have a husband who just came home?”

I suddenly feel so embarrassed for having texted him. Defensively, I text back, “Of course I am having a wonderful weekend. Just had a break and thought I would check in…no biggie!”

“Well, tell Alan to take you out. I’ll see you both on Monday. I emailed him a couple of restaurants I think you would both enjoy. I also sent name of a little place that has live music. Tommy plays there sometimes, and you will like it. Hope you try one of them out and have a great time! Talk to you soon! Ash”

Alan and I have a wonderful dinner at a little Italian restaurant downtown. After dinner, I sense Alan is ready to go home, so we head back to the house. So much for going out and listening to live music. Alan asks if I am disappointed. I lie and I tell him that I am ready to go home as well.

The rest of the weekend goes by fast. Alan busies himself with work. I sort through our things, trying to get organized and settle into some kind of normal.

Monday morning arrives sooner than later, and Alan leaves for the office early. I ask if he wants me to get up and make him breakfast, but he tells me to sleep in and that he would call me later. He tells me that he would love for me to make my veal piccata for dinner, which is his favorite, and tells me that Ash will be home as well.

I lay in bed for as long as I can, and make my way downstairs for coffee and to read the paper. I am met in the kitchen by Reba, who startles me. I’d forgotten that she would be back at work today.

She introduces herself. “Hello—you must be Mrs. Petersen. I am Reba, Mr. Harper’s housekeeper.”

“Oh, yes, I have heard all about you, Reba—good things, I assure you. Ash—Mr. Harper—says you’ve been with the family for twenty-five years.”

“Yes Ma’am!” She tells me that she relocated with them when they moved to Highland Park. She has six kids and is a widow. Her kids are all grown and live in the Atlanta area. “Mr. and Mrs. Harper lived in Atlanta when I went to work for them. I feel like their boys are mine—I raised them, you could say.”

We talk about her kids and grandkids. She seems like a lady who is in total control of the house. She works three days a week, down from the five days she carried when Anne was alive. She tells me that she does her grocery shopping on Wednesdays, and says there’s a list on the refrigerator. She tells me to add anything I need and she will be happy to pick things up for me.

I feel very comfortable talking to her. She is a very attractive, heavyset black woman, and she wears a uniform. Maybe the housekeepers in this area wear uniforms, but our housekeeper Maria never did, and I would never have asked her to.

After our chat session has died down, I venture back upstairs and get ready to head into town to do my grocery shopping for dinner. Reba stays until 4:00, so I start cooking as soon as she leaves. Alan gets home while I am cooking, and I have a cold beer ready for him. I haven’t heard from Ash, but assume he will be coming in soon. As soon as I wonder when he will be home, I hear his car pull up.

“Hey, Petersen’s!” he says as he enters.

“Hey Ash! Olivia has veal piccata for us tonight, and she is a phenomenal cook!” Alan boasts.

“Awesome! I am famished! Let me change and I’ll be down shortly. Olivia, can you pour me a glass of whatever you are drinking?”

“Of course Ash!”

Dinner was wonderful, if I do say so myself. I cleared nine of the place settings from the main dining room, and the three of us had a relaxing dinner. They both loved my cooking, and I was so pleased. We all had dessert and coffee, and I sensed it was time to get things cleaned up. Tomorrow, after all is a workday for the guys.

After I have the dishes cleared, Alan goes upstairs to take a shower. Ash comes into the kitchen with a little, brown, lacey wad in his hand. He has a smirky smile on his face, and says, “Here, Ummm, I believe these are yours.”

Oh my God! I’m mortified! They were my panties that I had put in the hamper the first night I got here, when I bathed in Ash’s bathroom. “Oh, crap. I am so embarrassed Ash! I put them in your hamper without even thinking.”

Ash puts his index finger up to his lip and whispers, “Reba just assumed they belonged to a ‘lady friend,’ so she put them back in my room. Let’s just let her think that. She’s been on me for quite a while now, saying I need to move on with my life and find happiness again. She gives me credit for a lot more than she should, so if it is okay with you, let’s just let her go with this.”

I tell him that his secret is safe with me. I would rather not let Reba know that I bathed in his bathroom, anyway. Too much information, and I was not ready to explain.

Alan does his thing, going to work early every morning. I am ready to embark on something to satisfy my life, so I get on the Internet and look for volunteer opportunities in the community. I settle on the Catholic Church in town. They need volunteers in their resale shop, and I think this work is a match for me. I commit to three days a week in the mornings. I soon find that I love it. I am wanted, needed.

On Wednesday evening, while in bed, Alan drops a bomb on me. “Liv, the company is sending me to London for a few weeks. I have to leave on Friday. Don’t panic, and don’t get pissed. It is only three weeks, and I will be home before Thanksgiving.”

“Alan! Are you kidding me? I thought you said this move meant no more traveling. What happened?”

Alan tells me that this is something he didn’t know, and that I should be more understanding. “Liv, Jesus! What do you want me to do? We moved, I thought there would be no traveling, but there is. You are just going to have to put on your big girl panties and deal with it! You don’t have to work; you live in a beautiful house and have nothing to complain about. I promise, after the first of the year we will find a house and you will adjust, believe me. You have to have faith that I am doing what is best for me…for us.”

I just can’t fathom this right now. I am in full anxiety-mode and wish I could talk to Lainey, but I just can’t tell her this. She will side with Alan and say that I am being ridiculous. So I turn over in bed with my back to Alan.  He tries to reassure me, but soon falls asleep. I am left to cry myself to sleep. I feel guilty for acting like a child, but I have made so many changes this past month, and I am at my wit’s end.

Friday comes, and I drive Alan to the airport. He promises me that he will be home before Thanksgiving. “Liv, your job while I am gone is to research hotels and make sure all the kids come for Thanksgiving. We will have a wonderful family Thanksgiving. Ash’s boys will come and we will have the best year ever. You will make it happen. You always do.”

“Alan, promise me that you will call every day and that you will be home for the holidays!”

“You have my word, Liv, honestly. I love you, and I am doing what I can to give us a good life.”

That evening I am lethargic and melancholy. I have several glasses of wine, no dinner, and head up to take a relaxing bath in our bathroom. Ash is in the city, staying at his condo, so I have the house to myself. After my bath, I head to bed. About 3:00 in the morning, I hear music…a hauntingly sad but beautiful song being played on the piano. Thinking I am dreaming, I wake then realize someone is in the house and is playing the piano in the music room, just down the hall. I put on a robe and head toward the music.

This pianist is sitting with his back to me. The music room has windows facing the lake, with a beautiful view. The room is dimly lit, except for a night-light on the built-in bookshelf. I stand at the doorway and lean in, mesmerized, and curious to know just who this person is. It appears to be a younger man, with mussed up hair, in pajama pants with no shirt. He’s barefoot at the piano. I listen quietly, without him knowing I remain standing there for the entire song, listening to this beautiful music. I think it might Ash, but finally realize it’s not. It’s definitely a younger person, as I first suspected. Sensing someone else is in the room he turns, surprised, and speaks. “Oh, hi! You must be Olivia. Man! I am so sorry I woke you. I completely forgot Dad had people staying here. I’m Tommy, Ash’s son. Gee, I sure hope I didn’t scare you. I came to the house because Dad’s at the condo working on a big case, and I didn’t want to disturb him.”

“No, Tommy, I’m sorry to intrude on you. I just woke up and heard the music and had to see where it was coming from. It’s beautiful! I didn’t mean to spy.” I walk out of the doorway into the hall. “Don’t let me disturb you, please. It was so nice to meet you, Tommy. Good night.”

“No.” He stands up from the bench. “Olivia, wait, please don’t go…. Don’t worry you’re not bothering me at all, I promise. Please stay.” He motions me to sit on the piano bench beside him and resumes playing. “I always play when I come home. I love it. Classical music takes the edge off, and brings me so much peace.” He turns to me and smiles as he’s playing. “You do know the guys in my band would freak if they ever heard me playing something like this don’t you? So this will have to be our little secret. Deal?”

I smile back. “Deal! Don’t worry Tommy your secret’s definitely safe with me.”

He laughs. “I have a reputation to uphold, you know. Dad plays too—you’ve probably already heard him play. He usually plays every day when he’s home.”

I tell him that I have not heard Ash play, but would like to. “Tommy, that is such a beautiful song…what is it called?”

He turns to me and replies “Yeah, it’s beautiful. It’s called ‘Ballade in C Minor,’ by Chopin.”

When he’s finished the song, I make a suggestion. “Would you like me to go downstairs and make us a tea and Bailey’s toddy? I’m going to make myself one. Don’t stop playing though.”

His eyes light up as he looks at me. “Yeah, sure of course, if it’s not too much trouble. That sounds great, thanks!”

I head down to the kitchen and make us each a cup, with my famous additions, then go back to the music room. Tommy is indeed a good-looking young man, definitely a younger version of Ash, and such a nice guy. We drink our tea and he asks if I play piano.

“Unfortunately, ‘Heart and Soul’ and ‘Chopsticks’ are my only repertoire.”

“Okay, then, you ready? Let’s do it to it!” he says.

We sit at the piano and do our best “Heart and Soul” duet, then lead into “Chopsticks.” When we’ve finished we high five.

“That was fun. Damn! You’re pretty good, Olivia!”

We talk for a while longer. He’s very easy to talk to, and I can sense that he is enjoying my company as well. Since I don’t know him, I hesitantly ask about his mother, not knowing if he is okay talking about her. He tells me that he is basically the black sheep of the family. He begins to open up to me.

“My mom…well what can I say: she was Mom. Wesley and Hayden, my brothers, they were the chosen ones. They did what she expected. I, on the other hand, am more like Dad. We both love music and I just couldn’t do the college thing. I tried, I really did but it just wasn’t my scene. I was into music, tattoos and the wild life. I think I disappointed her, but Dad was always supportive and encouraged me to stay on my path to a music career if that’s what I really wanted. I never quite seemed to be able to please my mom, but Dad always told me not to beat myself up over it. He told me that sometimes you just can’t please everyone and that’s ok. I just wish Mom could have realized before she died that I—that I was—that I am a good person.”

His face is sad, and I feel so bad for him. I realize I’ve only just met him, but I could just take him in my arms like I would one of my own children and tell him it’s okay

“Oh, Tommy,” I reassure him, “I’m sure she’s in heaven and proud as hell of you right now.”

He smiles. I think hearing that made him feel better. “Thanks, Olivia, that means a lot—a lot more than you know. Listen, our band is playing in Chicago tomorrow night and then in Highland Park on Sunday night, so if you and your husband would like to come with Dad to watch us, that would mean a lot. I don’t know if you even like our kind of music or not, but I’d really like you to come watch us. We think we’re pretty good.” He laughed at his boast, but clearly meant it.

I tell him that Alan has gone to London for three weeks, but that I love all kinds and would love to come with Ash to watch him play music if Ash wanted me to tag along.

“I’m pretty sure Dad would love that!”

We talk about my kids for a while longer and about how Alan and I ended up in Highland Park. Tommy is absolutely the nicest guy. He thanks me for the toddy before heading up to his room to sleep.

“Hey, thanks for everything, Olivia. I really enjoyed talking to you. For the record, you play a sick ‘Heart and Soul’! If I don’t see you before I head out tomorrow, I hope to see you at the club.”

In the morning, I get a text from Ash. “Hey, there, Sunshine! Tommy tells me you guys met. Sorry, I forgot to tell you he was staying at the house. I’ll be home about 4:00, so if you would like, we can drive into Chicago and watch him play tonight.”

I text him back, “Yes! Absolutely! Looking forward to it!”