Packed and Ready to Go (5 page)

I stepped back into the house and listened for footsteps. Still quiet. I thought about leaving a note telling her I was going to the club for a round of golf. Instead I smirked; she really didn’t want to know. I placed the cup in the sink and walked out the door.

Before backing out of the garage I tuned the car stereo to the smooth jazz station, and programmed the settings on the driver seat. Blaming Tracy for waiting to buy a new car wasn’t fair. She was a good woman; she never denied me anything, which only made me want everything. I’d waited to buy this car because I’d wanted to pay off the other car first. The one she didn’t know about.

I arrived at the Country Club just minutes before my tee time. The next four hours belonged to me. For eighteen holes, the constriction in my chest wouldn’t invade the serenity I found hitting that little white ball down the fairway. Golfing with Jay was always a great way to release some tension, and his car was already in the lot.

Jay was the Global Vice President of Marketing and a good listener. As much as any white man could understand the struggles of being the only black VP in a large company. Jay was a straight up guy. He was the only person I’d told about Sasha. I could count on him to keep my confidence.

Jay also knew someone on the board. So anytime I needed information on office politics, he had the answers. Today I planned to pump him for information on the company’s plan to downsize.

“
I was wondering if you’d show up. You usually beat me here.” Jay stood on the tee box, swinging his driver.

“
I haven’t missed a game in years. I had no plan to miss today.”

I strapped my bag in the golf cart before warming up with my putter.

I swung it from right to left to loosen my back. “What’s the latest word on the lay-off?”

“
It’s going to be more massive than they first thought. Raw material prices are dropping, which is encouraging more imports. I heard our departments will be hit pretty hard.”

I placed the club back in the bag. “I’m already cutting back. Tracy wants to go all out for Crystal’s wedding, and trying to rein her in isn’t easy.”

“
You didn’t look like you were cutting back when I saw you in the Lexus showroom with your Sasha.”

“
Yeah, well, I made a promise I needed to keep. Thank goodness for the healthy bonus this year. It might be the last one for a while.”

Jay cleared his throat. His neck and cheeks turned red. “Last week there was quite a bit of buzz when Sasha flounced out of your office.”

“
Did the head office have a shit fit?”

“
They heard about it.” He lowered his voice, which meant he was sharing company secrets. “Thompson claims he heard the two of you, and went running upstairs. You can expect something will be said.” He avoided looking at me, pretending something on the fairway was more interesting.

Jay’s comment felt like someone had taken a drill to my lower spine. I tried to remain cool, hoping Jay didn’t see the perspiration popping up on my forehead. “Well, today I plan to break it off with Sasha. Between showing up unannounced, asking me to take out the trash and snake the bathroom drain, I think the romance is over. If I wanted to do stuff like that, I could stay home, right?” I tugged on my golf glove.

“
Man, you like taking chances, don’t you? I couldn’t keep all the names straight.” Jay pushed a tee in the ground, took several practice swings then drove his ball down the center of the fairway.

“
I bore easy. But this time, I’m going to try harder to be faithful.” I stepped into the tee box, repeated Jay’s actions, and drove the ball twenty yards further than him. “With the lay-offs, do you think my little episode will hurt me?”

He shrugged his shoulder. Not a good sign. I didn’t want to press him for more details. I already had a craw full of regret. We climbed in the golf cart and headed down the fairway.

For the balance of the course I stayed away from the topic of business. Sport scores and handicaps better suited the pressure on my chest. On Monday morning I’d find a way to smooth things over with Thompson.

After the game, I jumped in the car and backed out of the parking space. All I could think about was getting to Sasha. The sooner I ended things, the sooner I could put my life back together. Even though I planned to break it off with her, a few hours of lusty sex would ease the pain.

***

Sasha opened the door as soon as I pulled in the driveway. I could see her happy smile from across the yard. She was so different from any of the other women in my past, and from Tracy. Sasha was petite and curvaceous. She wore her hair long, full and curly. Tracy preferred her hair short and cut to precision. Even their eyes were different. Sasha’s almond-shaped dark eyes looked like raw coal, Tracy’s big expressive eyes contained flecks of hazel. Sasha was only a few years older than my daughter. Tracy was only a few years younger than me.

I followed Sasha across the lawn. Her short dress blew in the breeze and hugged her body. She ran into my arms, making me feel welcomed and wanted and wonderful. Her full breasts peeked through the low cut neckline.

“
Hey.” She planted a kiss on my lips, darting her tongue in my mouth. “I love the car. It’s like mine.”

“
I told you, after I paid for yours, I was getting one too.” I ran my finger along a vein in her neck.

“
Now we have a matching pair.” She squealed. Her eyes sparkled. “It’s even the same color. I don’t believe you did that.” She giggled.

“
Yep. Told you.”

“
You did. You’re a man of your word.” She kissed me on the cheek and whispered. “I missed you.” The way she pressed against me wiped away the worry of lay-offs, Tracy and the limited time we had left.

My guilt vanished as my body heated up.

“
I still don’t believe you bought a car.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“
I wanted to surprise you.”

She peeked inside the driver-side window. “How was the graduation?” She sounded nonchalant.

“
Nice until we had to go out to dinner with Tracy’s loud-mouth friends.”

“
Ursula and what’s her name?” she asked.

“
Carla.”

“
Did Carla bring her hot Spanish husband?” Sasha shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand.

“
She never leaves home without him.”

“
How are Crystal and Max? I guess they’re excited about the wedding.”

I took her hand and held her still. “Everything was fine, sweetheart. But you know I don’t want to talk about my weekend.”

“
Forget I said anything.” She laced her fingers through mine and led me inside. The house was small enough to feel like home, and far enough across town that being discovered wasn’t a worry.

I was going to miss this place, where I could put my feet on the coffee table in the living room and no matter what, Sasha thought I was perfect.

“
You said you had something to tell me.” She gazed up at me. Her eyes blazed with excitement as if all news was good news. Sasha had a vulnerability that was never evident in Tracy. With her parents dead and no relatives on the east coast, Sasha looked at me like I was her super-hero. If Tracy could make me feel so vibrant I would be more content at home.

“
Not now. We can talk about that later. What did you want to tell me?”

She reached under my shirt, pressing her warm hands against my ribs. “Later. I’ve missed you so much. It seems like you haven’t been here in weeks.” She pushed up on her toes and kissed me. Slow at first, but the intensity increased when I responded.

I pinned her against the wall and kissed the small of her neck. She smelled like fresh spring flowers. Her flesh was soft and yielding. I wrapped her slender legs around my waist, and unzipped her dress. She threw her head back when I kissed her collarbone. I pulled her dress over her head; she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

“
You were expecting me?”

“
Always,” she whispered.

My breathing came fast and hot, my heart pounded in my chest. She made me feel twenty years younger and I wanted to be inside her.

I held her up against the wall and found her breast with my tongue. Her nipples hardened when I drew on them. She made a small gurgling sound as I slipped my fingers inside her, stroking her moist center, gently until her breathing matched mine. She tightened her arms around my neck and panted my name.

When she went limp in my arms, I released her legs, but held her for a moment until she could stand on her own. I slipped my tongue into her mouth. The sweet taste slowed me down. Then she fumbled with my belt until she unbuckled it. In the dim hall, she shoved my khakis to my knees. I stepped out of my pants and boxers at the same time and she grabbed my stiff penis with both hands.

“
You are gorgeous,” I whispered with my hand tangled in her hair. She held my gaze, her eyes intense and penetrating. I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom we shared. On the bed, I kissed her stomach in several places, savoring her smell and the way she felt. She pulled my shirt over my head, then rolled from under me and kissed my neck, my chest, and my abdomen. She took my penis in her mouth, moving up and down with a practiced slowness she’d perfected.

Nothing else mattered.

Nothing else was important.

Nothing could tear me away from that moment of pure bliss. Not even the threat of Tracy finding out.

“
My God,” I moaned when she released me and pushed her tongue in my naval. I wanted to be inside of her so badly I ached. I pulled her up into my arms and straddled her.

“
Well?” she asked in a low whisper that was barely audible, her earnest eyes boring into me.

“
What, Sasha? I want you. Now.”

“
Wait. You know what I’m asking.” She stopped me before I could enter her. “How long?”

“
I kept my promise. I didn’t sleep with her. I haven’t slept with her in weeks.” I said as I slipped inside her. We moved together, slow and in unison at first. Her warm core tightened around me and a flash of light popped behind my eyelids. I wanted to stay inside her the rest of the day, but she bucked her hips and wrapped her legs around my waist, drawing me in deeper. Each thrust grew harder until I exploded.

Afterward, I sprawled limp on the bed, unable and unwilling to move. Sasha rested her head on my chest and made small circles along my arm with her index finger.

My mother’s disapproving snarl flashed in my mind as I luxuriated in the aftermath of our lovemaking. I smirked at her disfavor, for at the moment it couldn’t touch me. Nothing could. This was all mine.

My brothers and I had rebelled in some way or another against the strict female household we grew up in. My oldest brother, Allen never held down a full-time job for longer than a few years, opting instead to borrow money from family members and mooch off girlfriends. My younger brother, Robert worked so hard he never had any time for a private life. He’d sacrificed two wives and four children for the seventy-hour work week that fed his insatiable need to be fruitful and make money. And I refused to keep my dick in my pants. We were a sorry lot of brothers.

I held Sasha tighter. The moment I told her I was ending our affair she might cry and lash out and act like all the others. Not because I was foolish enough to think she loved me. She wanted me, and the life style I could provide.

I appeased her by pulling out my checkbook and writing out a few figures. Giving her more time required some wrangling and I was running out of excuses to offer Tracy.

“
Why are you so quiet? What are you thinking about?” she asked.

This was my opportunity to tell her. Tracy was asking too many questions and my absences were becoming too frequent. Sasha was like a drug. I couldn’t get enough of her. I was being selfish. Sasha deserved better, and so did Tracy. The thought of losing Tracy was more painful than saying goodbye to Sasha. Sasha was like a trip to an amusement park, for a while the wild rides were fun, but I couldn’t do it forever. Tracy was home, familiar, stable, and reliable. The kind of girl you took home to Mom.

Instead of telling Sasha the truth, I swallowed my speech. I’d tell her later. “Absolutely nothing. I’m fine.”

She gave me a long look. “Okay. Then let me give you something to think about.”

She mounted me, grinding her hips into me. Her breasts taunted me to touch them. No matter how hard I tugged, she never complained. Sasha had no inhibitions, which gave me the freedom to live out every sexual fantasy I ever had.